Pyongyang, North Korea-Dennis Rodman, BFF of Kim Jong Un, rotund dictator of North Korea, made Kim bend to his will and free two American prisoners from North Korean labor camps, it was announced yesterday. (Rodman also mentioned that it was he who talked Kim into providing petting zoos in all the labor camps.)
"I'm also bringing home in my luggage all the enriched uranium Kim was going to use to launch a nuclear warhead with. Kim wanted to destroy the guy in Camden, New Jersey Kim says screwed him on a bunch of old video games he tried to purchase from him on Craigslist" said Rodman. "I talked my buddy Kim into letting me have it."
Rodman plans to stop in Russia on his way home to talk to Putin to patch things up in the Ukraine.