Written by E. Williams

Saturday, 1 November 2014

KANSAS CITY, MO - In a thrilling World Series between the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals, in which both teams seemed evenly matched, the title came down to one small difference - one team had a kick-ass song from the late 70's that pumped up its fans and players and one team didn't.

In the end, it was the presence of Journey lead singer Steve Perry in the stands and the constant playing of the hit song "Lights" that kept playing in the heads of Giants players and kept them feeling loose and groovy throughout each game, ultimately gaining them a world championship by winning the series 4-3.

The Royals, unfortunately, only had the song "Royals" by that weird chick, Lorde. The song has its fans and the Royals played hard but, let's be honest, it doesn't have the cool street cred that "Lights" has. Also, "Royals" certainly is not a very macho song that would inspire a baseball team.

Kansas City stadium officials tried to keep Journey's former frontman, Perry, from attending games in their city for fears that he represented the equivalent of "The 12th Man" in football, but their attempts to keep him out failed. After game seven, while the Giants were celebrating on the field, Royal's Hall of Famer, George Brett, said dejectedly from his suite, "Damn. If we'd only had a cool team song."

In 'light' of San Francisco's championship, all major league teams are now searching for their own cool song to help them tip the scales in their favor next year.

Some early possibilities include:

Milwaukee Brewers - AC/DC, "Have a Drink on Me"

Colorado Rockies - Bob Walsh, "Rocky Mountain Way"

Minnesota Twins - Foreigner, "Double Vision"

Chicago Cubs - Romeo Void, "Never Say Never"

Philadelphia Phillies - AC/DC, "Hell's Bells"

The suggestions keep rolling in but, for now, it appears that Steve Perry will be considered 'Royalty' in San Francisco for the rest of his life. Congrats, Giants!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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