Written by Auntie Matter

Sunday, 30 November 2014

image for Obama takes over Google
The Party's Over.

We cannot say we did not see it coming. Google and its million or so internet service providers are to be controlled by new laws soon to be enforced. Emperor Barack Obama acting as Commander in Chief has issued a new proclamation under Executive Order 10995. The order permits government to seize control of communication media. In a televised broadcast via CNN Obama declared.

"It is not my intention to inhibit the natural freedoms enjoyed by all Americans; but, in an emergency consultation with my military advisers, we see it as vitally necessary to limit the reach and power of the social internet. Individuals will now be limited on Facebook and Twitter and similar social networks to a maximum of five friends. The "likes" and "shares" buttons will be removed and neither photos, movies nor any other form of visual communication will be allowed to be posted. These are basic changes but more will follow. In this way, we hope to prevent, in this time of imminent and real terrorist attack, dissident groups from building up and addressing mass audiences. All such threats to our national security will no longer be tolerated. We do this because we love our country and so do what we must to protect our American way of life. Evil men who are our enemies walk among us and it would be irresponsible of us as your elected representatives not to take measures to limit their powers... for the sake of democracy. We will seek to enforce these new measures globally. Thank you."

The President is also to ask Congress on Tuesday for emergency funding to build what he calls Citizen Screening Facilities which some believe already exist all over the US. Except they are called FEMA camps where citizens can be held in large numbers on mere suspicion or hearsay; and interned forever, if need be. It will also be made illegal for anyone to express negative opinions about the administration in general and protesters will be rounded up on sight.

Many millions of Americans are seriously baffled as to how Obama was given these powers.. by whom exactly?... and why?... as virtually all of them are unconstitutional. Wyoming Senator Mark Dullard put it simply; "The biggest threat to the American Constitution is the people we put into power to protect it. How on earth could we have allowed this to happen? Since when did fascist totalitarianism become democracy? The lunatics have most definitely taken over the asylum."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
99 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more