Walmart Exploits Workers, It's a Matter Of Ethics.

Written by Keith Shirey

Sunday, 23 November 2014

image for Walmart Exploits Workers, It's a Matter Of Ethics.

AP - Almost exactly a year ago, a Walmart in Ohio made headlines for an employee food drive intended to help support their fellow Walmart workers. Now come reports of additional stores rolling out the donation bins, showing that the retailers really love and try to take care of their so-called "associates," while paying them way below poverty level wages.

"It costs us a lot of money to buy and place the donation bins on our counters but that shows that Walmart's heart is in the right place. It's also our way of wishing our employees a Merry Christmas" said its spokesman Jacob Asschole.

Aschole added that, "While it is true that Waltons, owners of Wlmart, are the wealthiest family in America and that just six of them have a net worth of $144.7 billion, they feel it is morally wrong to raise associate wages."

"That's because employees all need to rise to high managerial positions by showing they can overcome the adversities of poverty such as eating poor food, having to choose between getting medicine and paying utility bills, sending their kids to school in shoddy shoes and clothes, losing teeth because of lack of dentistry, and so on," he stated.

Asschiole concluded that, "If our downtrodden and exploited workers succeed in doing that, then they are ready to move up to l2 thousand dollar a year jobs and then further up the Walmart ladder to success because they've shown high moral character."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more