There were 834 spoof news stories published in June 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Anthea Redfern - "My Hell With Sir Bruce Forsyth"
Following years of dignified silence, Anthea Redfern, former wife of Sir Bruce Forsyth has confided in close friends that her marriage to Sir Bruce was "absolute hell." Redfern, who acted as Sir Bruce's assistant on the hit TV show 'The Generation...
Read full storyPop Star PINK Changes Name to GREEN
PINK had always loved her name; but after the birth of her daughter, Willow Sage Hart (proud dad is PINK's hubby Carey Hart, a motocross racer), she decided a change was warranted. "It's been nothing but pink baby outfits, pink cards, and pink f...
Read full storyNicole Scherzinger Apoplectic As Rihanna Hugs Lewis Hamilton At Canadian Grand Prix
Sources are saying that American X-Factor Judge Nicole Scherzinger was positively apoplectic with rage, as her boyfriend, F1 driver Lewis Hamilton openly hugged R&B star Rihanna during a break in the Montreal Grand Prix. The race was red flagg...
Read full storyCelebrity Shocker: Derek Hough Dumps His Girlfriend Cheryl Cole
HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars dancer Derek Hough has admitted that his relationship with Cheryl Cole has hit the rocks and their sultry ship has sunk to the bottom. Hough explained to Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo that he just got to...
Read full storySelena Gomez Explains Her "Mystery" Ailment
BURBANK - One of the main stars of the Disney Channel, Selena Gomez was suddenly taken ill and rushed to the hospital. Gomez, aka Justin Bieber's girlfriend had just made an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno when she suddenly told her p...
Read full storyNew York legalizes "Gay Marijuana"... AutoCorrect error shifts the focus of the law from "hugs" to "drugs"
Albany, New York - New York lawmakers have passed a bill that legalizes "Gay Marijuana" in the state. The lawmakers had been working on a law to approve same-sex marriage in New York, but a last-minute AutoCorrect glitch changed the complexion of the...
Read full storySuperman Announces He's Reinventing Himself; Lady Gaga Will Assist
Still wearing the same tried and true, red-and-blue outfit with a splash of yellow, the Man of Steel held a press conference in New York's Grand Central Station yesterday and announced his plans for the future. Reminding everyone that he made his...
Read full storySelena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Is Extremely Upset That The Vancouver Canucks Were Defeated By The Boston Bruins
HOLLYWOOD - Selena Gomez spent the day shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. She had recently gotten out of the hospital where she had been rushed due to malnutrition, undernourishment, and a very pronounced case of split ends. The teen singin...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent's Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. To Be The Next Frank Sinatra
HOLLYWOOD - Nick "The Candlestick" Cannon could not believe what he had just heard and neither could any of the America's Got Talent studio audience or the three judges. Howie Mandel, Sharon Osbourne, and Piers Morgan had all just heard Landau Eug...
Read full storyLeBron James and Dwyane Wade Finally Apologize To Dirk Nowitzki For Making Fun of Him When He Had A 102 Fever
MIAMI - Well it took them long enough but the losers of the NBA finals LeBron "Prince" James and Dwyane "The Court Jester" Wade have finally apologized to the 2010-2011 NBA Champion MVP Dirk "Mr. Class Act" Nowitzki. LeBron, who has since been tra...
Read full storyRoad Trip! On the Trail Following the Kennedy Mystique ; Drinking and Womanizing in New England!
Armed with a meager allowance from The Spoof (The US Edition), stringer Wally Wordsmithe is on a 3 week road trip to retrace the famous steps of the infamous Kennedy Clan as he's off to New England to visit some of the Pubs made famous by the gin gu...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson To Star With Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder In The Film "The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie"
HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Twilight Saga movies, Robert Pattinson has just revealed his next motion picture project. RPattz spoke to Margarita Mixx, of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and told her that he has agreed to star in a movie based on the...
Read full storyKirstie Alley, 60, Says That She and Her Boyfriend Shancie Boyd, 21, Are History
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kirstie Alley, who recently took second place in the 2011 edition of Dancing With The Stars, was spotted at a local Burger Doll Restaurant minus her boy toy Shancie Boyd. According to Taffeta Kixx of iRumors the 60-year-old Alley, who is now known as "The Dancing Cougar" has ended her relationship with her boyfriend hip hop artist Shancie Boyd who at 21, was young enough to be...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Seen Vo-Di-Oh-Doe-Ing At Yellowstone National Park
INDIAN CREEK, Wyoming - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev decided to take advantage of a two day break in the filming of their new vampire epic The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell. The film which is being directed by the famed Monteverdi B...
Read full storyHollywood In Shock As Nina Dobrev Reveals That She Doesn't Have A Life Sized Tattoo Of Anthony Weiner's Nose On Her Stunningly Creamy Inner Thigh
Prompted by circulating rumors running rife in Hollywood, Vampire Diaries star, Nina Dobrev revealed at a press conference today that contrary to prevailing notions, she does not have a life sized tattoo of ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner's nose tattoo...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder To Star In "The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell"
LOS ANGELES - Lion's Face Films in association with The Monteverdi Brothers and TouchRock Films has announced that they are currently in production on the vampire-culinary epic The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell. The movie is set in the...
Read full storyHarry Redknapp Offers Ryan Giggs An Olive Branch
Ryan Giggs, Manchester United's publicity shy, midfield-maestro and all round legend, has been offered a lifeline out of Old Trafford, by none other than Spurs boss, Harry Redknapp. It is believed that Redknapp feels that now is the time for Giggs...
Read full storyTrade Rumors Have Kobe Bryant Heading To The Dallas Mavericks
LOS ANGELES - Rumblings in LaLaLand, aka The Land of The Lakers are reverberating that the Lakers super star Kobe Bryant may be on his way out of El Lay and heading to Big D (Dallas). Bryant reportedly told Tango Brisket of Sports Territory that a...
Read full storyBum Wars Break Out As Carol Vorderman Pips Pippa Middleton In Rear Of The Year Awards
Bottom fanciers across the length and breadth of Britain were up in arms, and waging internet fora flame wars, as rival factions posted comments relating to the award of the 'Rear Of The Year' title to former Countdown mathematrice, Carol Vorderman,...
Read full story8th Harry Potter Book Inevitable - Buffty Ginslinger
In the wake of JK Rowling's Pottermore announcement, Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger has categorically stated that an 8th Harry Potter book is inevitable. Speaking from a wine bar close to London's famous Leicester Square, wher...
Read full storyThatcher's Handbag To Be Auctioned For Charity
In a gesture which may show that she has finally buried the hatchet, Baroness Thatcher has agreed that her trustiest of handbags will be auctioned for charity. The handbag in question, a classic 1979 Asprey, is expected to reach a value of £100,00...
Read full storyBlake Lively, Taylor Momsen, And Lindsay Lohan Approached To Star In Girls Behaving Badly Movie
Hollywood hotshots Blake Lively, Taylor Momsen and Lindsay Lohan are in talks with Hollywood production company Rehab Pictures International about multi-million dollar leading roles in upcoming movie Girls Behaving Badly. The trio would be the Hol...
Read full storyJohn Edwards' Mistress Rielle Hunter Tells Her Baby Daddy That The Ball Game's Over
FORT LAUDERDALE - One of the most famous photographers in recent history is back on the front pages. Rielle Hunter, who gave birth to Senator John Edwards love child, has told a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight that she is fed up with all of the...
Read full storyChinese X-Files ministry hacked as Huangshan ghost city mirage stuns fans of The Matrix
Anhui Province, China - Hackers have stormed China's global mind control HQ as a Matrix-style ghost city appeared in Huangshan after a drought-busting deluge. Reports this weekend claim IT servers at the Ministry for Inner Truth UFO division are i...
Read full storyHarry Redknapp Moves In On Wesley Sneijder, Fabregas, Messi, Everybody!
Sensational news just in from the Lane - Spurs are currently involved in transfer bids for just about everybody who might possibly be available in the summer transfer window. A spokesman for the club this morning confirmed that offers have been ma...
Read full storyAn Overweight Paris Hilton Confesses She's Not, Pregnant Just Fat
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Paris Hilton, the nation's number one socialite who has become very famous for actually doing nothing has just made a startling announcement. Paris "I'm Hot" Hilton revealed to Bedroom Pillow Talk's Gazebo Serengeti that she want...
Read full storySusan Boyle surprised Jackie Evancho
Big surprise this season when Susan Boyle and Jackie Evancho were suppose to sing a duet on Americas Got Talent. Susan Boyle's stand in, Flat Susan, had to take her place. Susan Boyle, a 50 year old beast of a woman, who had never been shagged, wo...
Read full storyPope 'gobsmacked' as armchair astronomers discover 'Devil's Armchair' on Mars
London - The atmosphere in Rome is said to be 'psychotic' as the discovery of a demonic throne on Mars this week has sent shockwaves through the Vatican. Experts say the Martian carving appears to be a much bigger copy of the Fauteuil du Diable -...
Read full story'Wannabe Gary McKinnon' busted in Lulzsec hack probe
Wickford, Essex - Ryan Cleary, a 19 year old IT buff, 'was just tracking aliens in the IMF' when cops pounced early this morning. Officers from the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency seized tin foil hats and laptops in the Essex raid followin...
Read full storyStockport Man Finds Higgs Boson Particle Behind Sofa
Scientists are celebrating today after a retired plumber found the so called "God Particle" behind his sofa. Bill Appleton, 63, has expressed his surprise at his find. "I was only looking behind the sofa for some change to pay the window cleaner...
Read full storyIs Demi Lovato Heading Back Into The Rehab Clinic?
VENICE BEACH - Disney darling Demi Lovato was reportedly seen walking alone on Venice Beach wearing a Wonder Woman bathing suit and a pair of Ellen DeGeneres Brand Flip Flops. She was asked by a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight if she was okay,...
Read full storyUK & France To Share Aircraft Carrier
Following last year's swingeing cuts to the Royal Navy fleet, the UK government has announced arrangements which will allow Britain and France to share the only aircraft carrier owned by a western European nation. At present, the French carrier is...
Read full storySavoy Drunk - CCTV Footage Goes Viral
CCTV footage showing a series of drunken mishaps experienced by a reveller after being ejected from a theatre party at London's plush Savoy Hotel, has gone viral on the internet, generating up to a million hits an hour! Sources reveal that the man...
Read full storyHarry Redknapp In £12 Million Bid For BGT's Ronan Parke
In the latest White Hart Lane sensation, Spurs boss Harry Redknapp has revealed that he is all set to lodge a £12 million shock bid for Britain's Got Talent Runner-Up, Ronan Parke. Insiders say that Tottenham scouts were keeping a close eye on the...
Read full storyWhen Harry met Pippa
London, England. The latest gossip surrounding the Royal family, a Germanic tribe who live in lavish palaces up and down the British main land, suggests that Prince Harry is forming an idyllic relationship with the sister of Kate Middleton, Pippa.
Read full storySwarming NYC killer bees 'go mental' ahead of lunar eclipse
New York - Millions of bees are converging on New York ahead of Wednesday's lunar eclipse. Swarms have been spotted flying in bizarre geometric formations likened to crop circle patterns seen in the UK's Wiltshire/Hampshire UFO beltway. Yesterd...
Read full storyPrince Harry Not Dating Blake Lively
Clarence House tonight issued an emphatic statement rubbishing media claims that Prince Harry is dating blonde US Gossip Girl TV star Blake Lively. Cynics claim that the rumours were deliberately circulated by Blake Lively's PR gurus in an attempt...
Read full storyJoe Jonas Offers To Buy Robert Pattinson's Texas Ranch
SAN FRANCISCO - Joe Jonas traveled to The Golden Gate City to relax after a grueling concert tour with his band the Jonas Brothers. He was relaxing down at the Fisherman's Wharf when he was approached by a reporter for iRumors Summersetter Faxx.
Read full storyHunt Is On For Savoy Drunk - Reward Offered
The drunken man who was ejected from a showbiz bash at London's posh Savoy hotel after repeatedly falling over in front of such luminaries as Sir Ian McKellen and Liam Neeson has become the focal point of a nationwide search. The man went on to b...
Read full story"Baise-moi! Bandits à neuf heures, Pierre!" Royal Navy pilots get French lessons.
If anybody thought that the French were still smarting from the arse-kicking they received at the Battle of Trafalgar, those suspicions can now be finally laid to rest. Two hundred years on from that stunning defeat at the hands of the British Royal...
Read full storyDwight Yorke Flies Out To Comfort Natasha Giggs
Unconfirmed reports are filtering through the limescale saying that former Man United striker, Dwight York, has flown out to Aiya Napa to comfort Natasha Giggs - wife of Rhodri, lover of Ryan - in her hour of need. Sources have informed us that Dw...
Read full storyJustin Theroux Reveals Why He Will Be Dumping Jennifer Aniston Pretty Soon
HAWAIIAN GARDENS, California - Justin Theroux was in Hawaiian Gardens when he was confronted by a reporter and asked about his relationship with Jennifer Aniston. Theroux informed the reporter identified as Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors that he was...
Read full storyLionel Messi Sues EA Sports for His FIFA '11 Character's Suckiness: "I'm not that small and easy to dispossess!"
FC Barcelona forward Lionel Messi is as mad as an elf on the day after Christmas, after playing as himself on EA Sports' FIFA '11 game for Playstation 3, and realizing that the character sucks: And he plans to sue over it! "F--k Ronaldo, f--k, Kak...
Read full storyClint Eastwood To Direct Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, and Shakira In The R-Rated Western "The High Noon Moon"
SAN FRANCISCO - Clint Eastwood became famous in America for playing Rowdy Yates, a cattle herd ramrod on the television western Rawhide which ran from 1959 through 1965. He later traveled to Italy where he made the infamous spaghetti westerns in...
Read full storySelena Gomez Denies The Rumors That She Is Pregnant
BEVERLY HILLS - Selena Gomez recently had her hair styled at FuFi Fondue's Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. While she was there she was asked by Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine about the rumor that was circulating...
Read full storyReality Shocker: Kate Gosselin Wants It To Go Back To 'Jon and Kate Plus 8'
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin has appeared on Dancing With The Stars where she pretty much showed America that she ain't no dancer. Then she traveled up to Alaska with the eight kiddoes and visited the Palins and went wilderness camping an...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent: Anna Graceman, An Extremely Talented Young Singer Like Last Year's Jackie Evancho But In English
HOLLYWOOD - Eleven-year-old Anna Graceman who is one of the early favorites on this year's edition of America's Got Talent says she likes to watch iCarly, The Wizards of Waverly Place, The Weather Channel, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Read full storyBernie Ecclestone swops Andy Warhol for Albert Steptoe
'Mini' celebrity Bernie Ecclestone has done a deal with the BBC to star in the remake of Steptoe and Son. Bernie, who is 80 and weighs in at 5'2", knocked back another lucrative offer to portray dead lookalike artist Andy Warhol. Instead, he will...
Read full storyEx-OSU Head Coach Tressel Now At Walmart
Jim Tressel, the maligned ex head coach at Da Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio was recently spotted working as a greeter in a Walmart in Ann Arbor, Michigan. A clause in his contract stipulated that each person entering the store be greeted...
Read full storyNina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, and Paul Wesley Talk Openly About The Upcoming Season Of 'The Vampire Diaries'
BEVERLY HILLS - The three stars of the hit television show The Vampire Diaries recently met for dinner at the trendy Cafe La French Fry in Beverly Hills. The young trio of actors spoke openly with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight. They we...
Read full storyHoward Stern's Shocking Interview With Anthony Weiner: 'My Penis Seems to Have a Mind of It's Own!"
Shock Jock Howard Stern was the last interview 'Weinergate' star Anthony Weiner had after hitting all the daytime shows yesterday as he continued to deny HE had not posted his pole on Twitter, while continuing to fan the flames admitting "it could h...
Read full storyPalace Concerns Over Duchess' Death Wish
Buckingham Palace sources have revealed that the Queen and other senior members of the Royal household have expressed concerns that the Duchess of Windsor may have a death wish. Such is the level of concern, its expected that a personal counsellor...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says She Loves "Lap Dancer" The Pet Snake That She Was Given By Maksim Chmerkovskiy of 'Dancing With The Stars'
ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico - Miley Cyrus finished performing before a standing room only crowd at The Mescalero Apache Warpaint Auditorium and was backstage relaxing with a 32 oz. bottle of 7-Up and a large bag of Cheetos. She was asked by Vodka Verm...
Read full storyMadonna and Jennifer Aniston Involved In A Vicious Restaurant Catfight
BROOKLYN - Madonna and Jennifer Aniston were both having dinner separately at Brooklyn's infamous Johnny Appleseed Diner which is located across the street from The Mark Cuban Cigar Store. According to a female patron who did not want any informat...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Dropped By X-Factor, Dumped By Derek Hough, Divulges She'll Now Be Managed By will.i.am
LOS ANGELES - Cheryl Cole has been through quite a bit the past year. She was cheated on by her husband Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole. And she finally ended up divorcing the 'what was he thinking' womanizer. She then fell into the arms of her BFF...
Read full storyZac Efron only dates pretty women
The Sun Post news magazine reports that Zac Efron only dates the prettiest women on earth, and that's bad news for women who are not attractive. Zac Efron's ideal woman is fair skinned with European features and a slim body. He is now dating t...
Read full storyDanger Mouse has a middle name
Danger Mouse, the unflappable cartoon secret agent rodent, friend of Penfold and enemy of Baron Greenback has had his middle name revealed by WikiLeaks. The most remarkable aspect of the revelation is not that Danger Mouse has a middle name, a lot...
Read full storyTwilight Stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star In The Movie "A Week In Paradise - The Pippa Middleton-Ron Jeremy Story"
SOHO, England - Robert Pattinson, star of the Twilight Saga series of movies recently met with noted Italian producer/director Bandini Borrapelli. The two discussed the details of Pattinson appearing in his PG-13 rated movie based on a true story.
Read full storyDemi Lovato Reveals The Six Reasons Why She Broke Up With Wilmer Valderrama
LA BREA - Demi Lovato had gone to have dinner at one of her favorite restaurants in Los Angeles, The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. As she sat alone at a table eating an order of Chicken Fried Salmon Fins she noticed a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight,...
Read full storyLiverpool In Sensational Double Transfer Swoop - Berbatov And Modric Priority Targets
King Kenny Dalglish is all set to rock the football world to its foundations with a shock double transfer swoop, with the focus on Tottenham, and bitter rivals Manchester United. King Kenny has apparently authorised club officials to enter into ne...
Read full storySaudi Arabian "slut walk" cancelled
"Slut walks" are a feminist phenomenon which have been hugely popular throughout the West. On a walk, scantily-clad women protest their right to wear whatever they want without being sexually assaulted - but it has proven to be too controversial for...
Read full storyChinese Authorities Confirm That Unidentified 65 Foot Sea Monster Stinks - But They'll Eat It Anyway
Authorities in Guangdong, China, today admitted that they have been unable to identify the 65 foot sea monster that washed up on a beach there a couple of days ago, but they have confirmed that it stinks to high heaven. The creature, which vaguely...
Read full storyWill Manchester City Cough Up £500 Million For Cristiano Ronaldo?
There is no doubting the limitless ambition of a rejuvenated Manchester City, nor that of club owner Sheikh Mansour - but are City prepared to gamble £500 million in order to acquire Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid? And would he want to return...
Read full storyA Devastated and Heartbroken Cheryl Cole Is Amazingly Comforted By Her Ex-Husband Ashley Cole
LONDON - The past year has not been a good one for Cheryl Cole. The first thing that turned her happy world around was when she found out that her husband Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole was cheating on her with a bevy of tarts. Cheryl somehow was...
Read full storyWimbledon favourite Andy Murray calls bananas "pathetic"
Childish Tennis player Andy Murray is on the naughty step again. In another attention seeking outburst at Wimbledon he has called bananas "a pathetic fruit". Many top players admit to enjoying bananas and openly use them during matches. On...
Read full story"Hangover Part II" Sets A Weekend Record - Charlie Sheen Agrees To Appear In "Hangover Part III"
HOLLYWOOD - The producers of Hangover Part II are ecstatic as their comedy motion picture has just broken the opening weekend record for a comedy film. The Tinsel Town Times Tribune stated that the motion picture had grossed $85,946,294 for the Me...
Read full storyAnti-Matter 'Missing' From Universe Is Found
Cosmology's biggest mystery has been solved due to pioneering work at CERN. The Big Bang Theory predicts that the universe should contain equal quantities of matter and anti-matter. The fact that only matter had been observed led cosmologists to a...
Read full storyRoman Abramovich still in love with Jose Mourinho
Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has sent out the clearest message yet that he is not 'over' old flame Jose Mourinho. The Russian Billionaire, was on his knees begging Jose not to leave according to captain John Terry, after a tear stained split wit...
Read full storyOde to Anthony Charles Lynton Blair
You would not use honest, open or believable for Tony Blair, The man who killed soldiers, and put many in a wheelchair, The man who knew how to smile as he was being unfair, He and his rich wife grew richer, and dined out at Mayfair, As his fight for other's oil, he fought with flair, And smiled at the camera in his suit and tie of mohair, While his Weapons of Mass Destruction, could be foun...
Read full storyHair transplant rejects Wayne Rooney
Manchester United and England slaphead Wayne Rooney has sustained a freak injury. The footballer will be out of action for several weeks after being rejected by his hair transplant. Rooney is reported to have spent several thousand pounds at a H...
Read full storyLewis Hamilton Says He's Had It With Nicole Scherzinger And Wants A Date With Cheryl Cole
F1 star Lewis Hamilton has told members of his pit team that he is sick and tired of dating Nicole Scherzinger out of the Pussycat Dolls, and that he wants to date Cheryl Cole, out of Girls Aloud. For a change. Hamilton is said to be sick to de...
Read full story10 Ways To Beat The Boarding School Blues
For some children, boarding school is a wonderful, exciting, character-building adventure. For others, it can be a living hell, punctuated with homesickness, bullying, bedwetting and the odd randy junior house master. For those who struggle with the separation from mummy and daddy, and the arrival at a cold, dark and forboding boarding school, the following is intended as a guide to beating the...
Read full storyMadonna Says That Jennifer Aniston's Baby Making Hopes Have Left The Building
BROOKLYN - It is pretty much generally believed that once a woman hits 40, her chances of having a baby become somewhat astronomical. And that is precisely what caused the recent catfight between Madonna and Jennifer Aniston at Brooklyn's Johnny A...
Read full storyCharlie Adam Set For Shock Move To Wigan - Snubs Liverpool
Sources close to Blackpool playmaker and Liverpool transfer target, Charlie Adam, are indicating that the Scot will reject overtures from Anfield, and move to Wigan instead. It is thought that Wigan is closer to Adam's home and therefore a more lo...
Read full storyGovernment To Introduce £104 Road Tax For Cyclists
A Whitehall mole today revealed that Transport Minister, Norman Baker, is to introduce a controversial new £104 annual road tax for cyclists. Early reports indicate that the new charges will apply from April 1st 2012 and that there will be no exce...
Read full storyJuly 1st solar eclipse will bring down Hong Kong astrologers warn Wen Jiabao
London - Visiting Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao took the announcement 'on the chin' as British astrologers issued their warning at crunchtime today. The gung-ho PM has steadfastly stonewalled on years of Hellfire Club, Triad gangster and Pyongyang co...
Read full storyJustin Timberlake and His Girlfriend Mila Kunis Explain Their Sexual Groping At The MTV Movie Awards
LOS ANGELES - Well it's only been a little over two months since Justin Timberlake broke up with Jessica Biel but you've got to hand it to the skinny little fella he sure does know how to move on. Justin, 30, showed up at the MTV Movie Awards wit...
Read full storyLeonard Nimoy and William Shatner Reveal Some Never Before Known Secrets About "Star Trek"
LOS ANGELES - Star Trek premiered on NBC back in 1966. It ran for three seasons and although it did not become a big hit in the ratings department it did attract a huge loyal fan following who refer to themselves as "Trekkies." Two of the main sta...
Read full storyX-Factor presenter Dermot O'Leary taking RyanAir's Michael O'Leary to court
The presenter of popular premium rate telephone number television programme "X-Factor", the suited and booted Dermot O'Leary, is suing RyanAir's Michael O'Leary as a result of the number of times he's been attacked by members of the public thinking h...
Read full storySarah Palin's Paul Revere
Trapped again in the pesky media headlights during her bus tour of historical landmarks, Sarah Palin was asked another tricky, complex, gotcha question by a member of that lame brain media: "Who was Paul Revere?" Levi Johnston, unmarried father of...
Read full storyInternet Access Declared a Human Right
Last week, a U.N. report declared that Internet access is a basic human right. Let's take a look at some other pivotal moments in human rights recognition over the years. 1760 B.C.: Babylonian king Hammurabi affirms the right of Hammurabi to do whatever the fuck he pleases. 1,000 B.C.: Mosaic law establishes the rights of all of God's children--provided those children are Israelites who wors...
Read full story'Northern Bastard' Allardyce sacked by West Ham
West Ham have terminated the contract of manager Sam Allardyce with immediate effect. East End owner David Sullivan claims to have been led down the garden path by Big Sam and told reporters: "We found out on Twitter that he is a dirty Northern...
Read full storyPrincess Kate bored to death at "Drooping of the Colour"
Kate Middleton had to perform one of her first difficult royal duties today, when she was forced to sit through the "Trooping of the Colour" for three solid hours! A friend of the Princess said, "She was so bored, she had to drink a can of Red Bul...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Writes A Song That Amazingly Is Not About A Boyfriend That She Has Broken Up With
NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift recently sat down at a Pizza Gal Restaurant in Nashville and spoke with Grilletta Brewburger of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine. Miss Brewburger asked Taylor how her recent concert at The Running of The Bulls Convention Center in B...
Read full storySpider-Man Scandal: He Bought Himself Good Reviews!
The new reviews of "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," which finally had its official opening night on Broadway, are in. They are quite good, at least better than the reviews of the preview performances. They SHOULD be good, as they've been bought...
Read full storyPenis Envy: President Obama Won't Touch Weiner With 10 Foot Pole
When asked if President Obama is calling for Rep. Weiner to resign, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said today that the President is focused on his job, not on Weiner. With Minority Whip Nancy Pelosi now calling for the disgraced Weiner t...
Read full storySarah Palin's Prosperity Plan: Raise the Retirement Age to 90, Lower the Drinking Age to 12
Wasilla, Alaska - Tired of being branded as a political lightweight, Republican presidential contender Sarah Palin today revealed some heavy ideas for dealing with America's ongoing economic crisis. "The way I see it," Palin said, "America is bein...
Read full storySimon Cowell Talks About Those Salaciously Steamy Rumors Regarding Him and Paula Abdul
HOLLYWOOD - It is fairly common knowledge on the Left Coast that ever since the early days of American Idol there have been sensually suggestive sparks between Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. Cowell known as "The Sultan of Sarcasm" and Abdul known a...
Read full storyDundee United Fans Help Out Club
Dundee United fans have volunteered to do work at their ground in an attempt to save the club money. The Tangerine supporters have followed the lead from their rivals across the road - Dundee , who only recently came out of their second period of...
Read full storyThe State of Ohio Has Purchased Brand New Trucks For Each Dallas Mavericks Player
COLUMBUS, Ohio - Governor John "Happy Guy" Kasich is so thrilled at the fact that the Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat to capture the NBA Finals Championship Trophy that he has given each of the Dallas Mavericks players a brand new 2011 Toyot...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Gets Attacked On Stage By An Australian Fan Who Gets Kicked Out To The Third Row
MELBOURNE, Australia - Miley Cyrus had just finished singing the last two words of her song "The Climb" when an over-exuberant fan jumped on stage and hugged the songstress from behind. The fan who was later identified as Matilda Spanferkel, 27, w...
Read full storyLady Gaga Apologizes For Her Wrinkled Cleavage
PARIS - Lady Gaga flew to Paris to participate in a fashion show honoring the famous Versace family, Gianni, Donatella, and Fauntleroy. The lady with the redundant name was escorted by France's first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy's personal bodyguard M...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner To Guest Star On 'Dog The Bounty Hunter'
COLORADO SPRINGS - Twilight's Taylor Lautner recently revealed that he has agreed to guest star on an upcoming episode of A&E's Dog The Bounty Hunter. Lautner first approached Duane "The Dog" Chapman about appearing on his show after seeing hi...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Has Just Become America's Most Popular "Cougar"
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kirstie Alley has shyly admitted that she has literally gone from not having dated in over a decade to dating up a storm. The 60-year-old who recently took second place on the dance reality show Dancing With The Stars has been as...
Read full storyOffice Survival Tips
OFFICE SURVIVAL TIPS 1: No matter how much the printer might frustrate you, do not yell at it. It can't hear you. 2: Just because you don't like doing it, doesn't mean it's not part of your job. 3: If you're not sure what someone is saying when they're talking, it's probably best not to try to correct them on anything they just said. 4: If you're tired and a coworker says, "Here, t...
Read full storyThe Miami Heat Shock The Sports World As They Trade LeBron James To The Cleveland Cavaliers
MIAMI - In a move that has shocked not only the basketball world but the entire sports world, the political world, and even the world of hip hop music, the Miami Heat have just announced that they have traded LeBron James to The Cleveland Cavaliers.
Read full storyMan 'with cucumber strapped to leg' arrested in Watford 'bomb' siege
Watford - Terrified bank customers dialled 999 this morning amid fears a 12-inch cucumber strapped to a man's leg was 'an improvised explosive device'. Police were taking no chances amid FO advice that the deadly vegetable is being used by Al Qaed...
Read full storyRon Artest of The Los Angeles Lakers To Change His Name To Metta World Peace
LOS ANGELES - Ron Artest of the Los Angeles Lakers recently spoke with fellow teammate Kobe Bryant and told him that he is planning on undergoing a name change. Bryant reportedly looked at him and told him if he changes his name to Ron Weiner he p...
Read full storySony Blames Harold Camping for prolonged PSN outage
The weeks of the Playstation Network being down was frustrating for many gamers. What was even more frustrating was the constant reassurance that the network would be back up soon, with that date being pushed farther and farther back. Many gamers v...
Read full storyCarlos Tevez "Evasive" When Questioned About Natasha Giggs And Imogen Thomas
The Manchester City striker, Carlos Tevez, currently on holiday with his family in Buenos Aries, reacted "evasively" according to sources, when questioned regarding his opinion on the Ryan Giggs-Natasha Giggs-Imogen Thomas goings-on. Tevez had bee...
Read full storyNY is Now Only the FIFTH Dirtiest City in U.S., Slobs Get Special Invite to Visit
Last year it was Number 1. But this year, NY has fallen to fifth place. Mr. Clean may have been at work. That is, if you have faith in the results of a survey done by Travel + Leisure magazine. It shows that this year, New Orleans is the Numb...
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