Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Obama's New Executive Order 13605

"The law of Cause and Effect can no longer be applied to political decision making. In its place we have established The "Law of Acausal Happenstance". This will henceforth inform our foreign policy.

written by Auntie Matter, 30 May 2016
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Donald Trump Interrupts Orgy

What an utter bastord.

written by Tom Sivvy, 30 May 2016
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Republicans Claim Oil is the Cleanest Fuel

That is, unless the solar or the wind people want to step up with some campaign contributions!

written by Al N., 29 May 2016
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"The Screecher"...Coming to a Lawn Near You

"The Screecher", the loudest lawnmower yet, has arrived. Is a typhoon? Is it a low flying bomber? A crew drilling for oil? No! It is the idiot next door doing his lawn. And he won't go to jail either!

written by Auntie Matter, 29 May 2016
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Who ARE The "Illuminati"?

Any nutter who believes that he/she has a God-given right to work on people's minds and lives for their own purposes. Politicians, bankers, scientists, media dudes etc. They like to hang out together.

written by Auntie Matter, 29 May 2016
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Children's Mental Health Crisis.

UK: Government says;"We are spending too much money on children's mental health."
True. Psychosis, anorexia, gender confusion, depression,.. escalating.
Suggestion: Why don't we stop driving them MAD?

written by Auntie Matter, 28 May 2016
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First Robotic Homicide

Tokyo: An elderly businessman has been strangled by his housekeeper Robot. ""Matilda" simpry malfunction," explained the maker. "We not know why. Mr. Maki should have asked for character reference."

written by Auntie Matter, 28 May 2016
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'Cosby' now a verb in dictionary

Webster's Dictionary has announced that the word 'Cosby' is now recognized as a verb. Example: I met a chick at a bar last night and Cosbied her; she had no idea the next day.

written by Paul Blake, 28 May 2016
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Suicide Bombers and Alkies

Psychiatrists at the Mind Control Tavistock Institute, London have found close link between suicide bombers and alcoholics. For both, DEATH is the most important thing in life.

written by Auntie Matter, 27 May 2016
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Obama in Hiroshima

Mr. President saying all the 'right' things.

"Death fell from the sky.", said he.

Never rains but it pours, eh?

written by Auntie Matter, 27 May 2016
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Drug Athletes Protest

23 athletes who tested positive for drugs in London's 2012 Olympics have called for the House of Commons to be drug tested regularly. "No competitive sport should be exempt", said their spokesman.

written by Auntie Matter, 27 May 2016
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Trump Studying Scamatology to Learn Brainwashing Techniques

Trump learned well and ended up converting the Scamatology org into a Trump campaign headquarters.

written by Al N., 27 May 2016
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New Oscars Category

For the 2017 Hollywood Oscars, there will be a new category..."THE BEST MOVIE CLIP OF ALL TIME".
Nominations from "Casablanca", "High Noon" etc are in; but hot fav is Bond being chipped in Spectre.

written by Auntie Matter, 26 May 2016
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Gender Bending Marches On

The gender-bending agenda underpinning the NWO's drive for total sheeple mind control has taken a deadly turn. All US college students must now wear the same uniform... a short skirt over long pants.

written by Auntie Matter, 26 May 2016
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Complaints

Breaking Ironic News: Man uses internet to complain about sleaze on TV

written by Backandtotheleft, 26 May 2016
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Trump Gives New Meaning to the Phrase "Trumped Up"

It used to mean exaggerated, now it means totally fabricated, totally made up.

written by Al N., 26 May 2016
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A Day in the Life of Arthur Lemming

Arthur Lemming woke to a sound that sounded like a car was crashing through his window.
*
The chief of police looked down at the body under the car and said "Damn."

written by Tom Sivvy, 25 May 2016
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Special One replaces Senile One!

Man United have at last replaced The Senile One with a Special One! In fact this was the best unkept secret in this history of modern footy because Man City fans became suicidal many months before!

written by Jaggedone, 24 May 2016
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Cameron Warns That Withdrawal From Europe Will Invoke The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

A Britex campaign spokesman has accused the Prime Minister of making ridiculous, exaggerated claims to obscure the certainty that staying in Europe will cause Britain to sink beneath the North Sea.

written by Swan Morrison, 24 May 2016
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Bill Cosby Explains That Fat Albert is Actually a Separate, Evil Personality

"So the person you want for all these accusations is really Evil Fat Albert," explained Cosby.

written by Al N., 24 May 2016
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"Bond... James Bond... but you can call me "Sheila"".

As part of the general "gender confusion" aimed at the young and being vigorously promoted at every level by the NWO's 'Gay' lobby the next James Bond will be a bi-sexual transvestite.

written by Auntie Matter, 24 May 2016
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Soldiers Given Anti-Malaria Drugs

UK:Anti-Malaria drug LARIAM given to soldiers produces panic attacks, hallucinations and mental impairment. Ministers suggest it be given to troops BEFORE they are sent abroad, not afterwards.

written by Auntie Matter, 24 May 2016
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Don't Mess With Texas?

After a springtime full of heavy flooding and tornados, Texas is changing its famously assholeish state moto from 'Don't Mess With Texas!' to 'Texas Is A Mess, Don't Bother Coming!"

written by Paul Blake, 24 May 2016
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Ted Cruz to Run as Whig Candidate

Told the Whig Party hadn't existed for over 100 years, Cruz replied, "That's why it's so perfect!"

written by Al N., 23 May 2016
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Jeff Koon's Controversial 'Piece'

A show of Jeff Koons' work now in London boasts a giant sculpture of his own pooh. Critics say:

(1). "Convoluted".
(2). "Heavy."
(3). "Very DuChamp".
(4). "Speaks volumes".
(5). "A load of shite".

written by Auntie Matter, 21 May 2016
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Barack Obama To Be Crowned Emperor

Obama is to be crowned First Emperor of the New World Order at a special ceremony conducted by Pope Francis at the Vatican Basilica this August 4th, his birthday.

written by Auntie Matter, 21 May 2016
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If Elected, Trump Promises A Free Bottle of Trump Vodka to Every Family in Flint

"This is the best solution to the Flint Water Crisis! Trump's publicist John Miller told the press.

written by Al N., 21 May 2016
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Trump Ponders Choice of Running MILF

"Sierra Paylin or Anne Colter. They both have big boobs, and both make me look rather sane by comparison. How to choose, how to choose..."

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 21 May 2016
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Obama's New Executive Order 13604

Congress is no longer empowered to pass laws.

written by Auntie Matter, 20 May 2016
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Amazon Books Asks to Have Amazon River Name Changed

The Amazon lawyers claim the river is infringing on their trademark.

written by Al N., 20 May 2016
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Ted Danson Announces Retirement

He will only appear in five different TV series next season.

written by Al N., 20 May 2016
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Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks Donald Trump

We managed to speak to Mr Trump, and he said 'Ouch.'

written by Tom Sivvy, 20 May 2016
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Ego Mania at its Best

The only person smarter than "Bill Clinton" is 'Bill Clinton'.

written by Auntie Matter, 19 May 2016
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Jim Carrey Called a Schizophrenic

When asked whether this was true, he said it was not, then suddenly started to have a conversation with himself.

written by Tom Sivvy, 19 May 2016
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Ben Carson Has Joined MySpace in Order to Impress Trump With How Hip He Is

"I know Donald wants his Vice-President to be able to relate to the kids also," said Carson.

written by Al N., 19 May 2016
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How Not To Die

1. Breathe
2. Don't have a heart attack
3. Don't get sexually active with Donald Trump

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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Secret of Rapid Ageing Revealed.

LONDON: Scientists at the Tavistock Inst. have discovered that "rapid ageing" is directly caused by being timed while getting old.

written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
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Woman Thought to Have Been Dead is Found.

lONDON. A Woman thought to have been dead for over fifty years was yesterday discovered by her husband.

"I woke up... and there she was... lying beside me," said he."

written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
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Last Words

"Look at the size of the fu##k'in teeth on that bastard!"
Last words of an English tourist 'taken' by a Great White while fishing off the coast of Tasmania.

written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
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TRUMP the next President.

How do we know?
The Media.
Howz dat?
The Media tells Americans what to think.
All of them?
Most of them.

written by Auntie Matter, 18 May 2016
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Never too old!

When I was a young man and the entire world lay before me, I dreamt of having BMW's.

Now....I am an old man.

I have BFW's.....burps, farts and wheezes.

DANG!.......soo close!

written by b kenneth mcgee, 18 May 2016
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Scientific Discovery of the Century

Scientists have just found that Micheal Jackson, Bruce Lee and Jesus are all currently on a spiritual journey in Chuck Norris' beard.

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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The End is Nigh

I keep thinking it's Tuesday.

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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Breaking News Flash

Dial 555-0100 for a free steak!

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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Hitler's Legacy Lives On

Before we get to the article, we would like to thank MacDonaldTrumps and their tasty Trump burger for their cash.

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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Film at 10 o'clock

I am currently wearing rubber nipples, whilst riding a donkey, on top of a sopranos singer. Film at 10 o'clock.

written by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016
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When is a Duck NOT a Duck?

"If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck..."... it may not be a duck. It may be a hawk pretending to be a duck.

written by Auntie Matter, 16 May 2016
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"Conspiracy Theory" Gone

The phrase "conspiracy theory" is to be replaced in the media by "STRATEGY THEORY" because the former implies malevolence whereas targets of "strategies" are simply unlucky... and cannot be 'victims'.

written by Auntie Matter, 16 May 2016
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Ronald McDonald Not Ready To Support Trump

"He's still a few fries short of a Happy Meal," said the beloved McDonald's Spokesclown.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 16 May 2016
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Final Blame For Man U Bomb Lies With Fido The Sniffer Dog Says Firm Who Planted Fake Device

'Fido the sniffer dog failed to find the fake bomb,' said a spokesman for the firm that planted the device. 'It was all his fault, and the animal has been put down as a warning to the other dogs.'

written by Swan Morrison, 16 May 2016
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