Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked
Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
Fog hits British news readers on the Beeb!
It seems that Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson getting the boot from his rather childish programme is more important than the German Wings tragody. Well that's what the Beeb shows on the internet!
Wife Jailed For Attempt To 'Boil Her Husband'.
..............poor sod, he only married her for her culinary skills in the first place!
Britain To Boost Falkland Islands Defences
.....two new peashooters purchased from Amazon.
Church Appoints Its Second Woman Bishop
.....due to a dire shortage of choirboys!
Animals May Help Predict Earthquakes -Study
nothing new here, my cat reaches 5.1 on the Richter scale every time he craps for England!!
Collie Dog joins Teaching Staff of Primary School
The dog helps encourage pupils learning, but Ofsted say her Diploma out of Date
Nuns invade altar where Pope saying Mass
Congregation thought they were Villa Fans on Stag Weekend
The Hillary Has to Make a Quick-Change in Order to Appear in Public
Known to insiders is that Hillary has to don those sail-maker crafted pants suit only for public events. Mandated by all Clinton funding from those Arab states, she must be in strict purdah elsewhere.
Cameron promises not to serve a third term!
There is a god after all!
El Classico or El Crappico??
Past classic, Liverpool v Man United, is nearly upon us as far away in Spain a real classic will take place, Barcelona v Real! Did the English "Messi" something up here?
Indian students are cheats; SURE!
Bihar University, India: Students taking exams are cheating by hanging on to open window frames and receiving completed exam papers from fellow students. Maybe the university should get some glass!
The late Spock, as a half-human male, tried without success to solve a most curious problem: He was attracted to women with one huge boob!
US Surgeon General Recomends Federal Copulation Center
Surgeon General Vice Admiral Vivek H. Murthy, released a study today recommending that President Obama issue an executive order to establish a Federal United Copulation Center (FUCC).
Scientists Blame Solar Eclipses on Global Climate Change
USGS Chief Scientist, Jack MeHoff, released a study today that concludes that the increasing number of solar eclipses is due to Global Climate Change, caused by human activity.
Telsa Motors Unveils Coal-Powered SUV
Telsa Motors' CEO, Ellen Mush, announced their next "green" vehicle - The Telsa Model C. The model C is the first coal-powered vehicle since the 1884 Trepardeux.
President Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That All African-Americans Must Vote
In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday.
English clubs form own Champions League!
Because English clubs perform so terribly in Europe the FA has withdrawn all teams and from a GB competition; at least there's a chance of an English club winning that, in Europe, no chance!
Archbishop Of Canterbury Reassures Anxious Fundamentalist Christians About Solar Eclipse
'This is a normal astronomical phenomenon,' the archbishop reassured anxious fundamentalist believers. 'It does not mean that God is angry with you.'
Tearful Duo Forms Joint Venture in US Empire
Emperor Barack I and "BooHoo" Pelosi share their sorrow over triumph of PM Netanyahu in Israeli election. They plan to go on the road with their tear-throwing act at sad-sack, Empire Liberal venues.
John Boehner Files Petition for Change of Name
Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, John Boehner, filed a petition with the Municipal Court of West Chester Township, Ohio today to legally change his name.
TV's 'Neighbours' At 30: Top Facts About The Soap
............It's still crap!
Billions Of Planets In Our Galaxy 'May Hold Life'
..Jeremy Kyle show renewed for another 5 years!
Budget: Osborne Insists 'The Plan Is Working'
....to right George, another five years of Conservative rule and we'll be on par with Albania!!
Three Judges Fired For Watching Porn At Work
..puts whole new slant on the saying "here comes the Judge!"
Ikea Bans Hide-And-Seek In its Stores
................the poor sods were merely trying to find the way out.
Nigel Farage Blows Gasket at claims he cant Handle Criticism.
Nigel Farage is furious over the suggestion that he doesn't handle criticism well after claims that his new book, 'The Purple Revolution' is rubbish.
Justice Department Preparing Lawsuit Against Polar Bears International
The Justice Department is preparing to bring a lawsuit against Polar Bears International over a pattern of racially discriminatory tactics.
D&G ask the world to boycott Elton John!
Gay designers, Dolce & Gabbana, have asked the world to boycott gay Elton John because he is a gay dad and they couldn't have children! I wonder why?
Feminist can't get married
1.2 million feminist who spent their entire lives criticizing men are now old without husbands. They should have spent their time looking for husbands.
Woman Hired for the Same Pay as the Men
Male employees are furious about this change in practice and they want a 23% raise to compensate.
South Africa offer penis transplants!
A successful penis transplant op in South Africa has caused an invasion of mainly Asian men hoping for an extension! Black men are also hoping for an op because their wives constantly feel the pain!
Mad Willy Flint has a trick
Mad Willy, a faithful misogynist concocts a plan to become transgender and pretty then infiltrate N.O.W. and initiate the collapse of the organization through sabotage.
Chris Christie Foundation Recommends Closing the income gap for fat people
Spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese.
Duchess of Cambridge potential threat
In her recent visit to the set of 'Downton Abbey', Kate was security screened. When announced as : 'A Modern Duchess ', Security interpreted this to mean an Eastend Gangster's Mother.....
UKIP is 'Colour - blind' party
Though their supporters are ultra sensitive to tones, like black and white
No more Top Gear just Flop Gear from now on!
Global iconic buffoonery show, Top Gear, has been hauled off the TV because Clarkson, who dared once to use the word N++++r believing it was funny, has slung a left hook at his producer, naughty chap!
Ayatollah Obama Slams Republican Senators' Letter
The United States Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Barack Obama, criticized a letter sent by 47 U.S. Republican Senators to Tehran about the ongoing negotiations on Iran's nuclear program.
Clarkson's Rise: 'You Can't Live Without Him'
..wanna bet, I'm doing nicely thank you!
Eurovision Entries ''too original''
The UK may be heading for Eurovision failure, say critics.
There is no exhibitionist element , just melody and talent...sure to fail.....
Clarkson considered 'too extreme'' for UKIP
Mr Clarkson's views that small, Japanese cars are best, at Fuel Economy, are too extreme, according to Thanet HQ.
Visually impaired pensioner thought he was signing a 'relegate' Clarkson petition!
Mirror Group Phone Hacking Caused Japanese Tsunami Claims Celebrity
'I am not exaggerating,' the celebrity told the High Court in London, 'either due to justifiable anger or a wish to maximise a damages payment.'
Yeti Encountered In Himalayas
'This event might have provided conclusive, photographic proof of the yeti,' said a spokesman. 'Sadly, all shots used selfie sticks, and the creatures were obscured by the photographer's friends.'
Extraterrestrials Land In New York's Central Park
'This event might have provided conclusive, photographic proof of extraterrestrials,' said a spokesman. 'Sadly, all shots used selfie sticks, and the aliens were hidden by the photographers' friends.'
3 teenage girls kidnapped by ISIS eagles!
Reports that 3 teenage girls voluntarily joined ISIS is not true! Fact is they were kidnapped by a squadron of swooping ISIS eagles whilst listening to Justin Bieber on their I phones, a deadly sin!
Harriet Tubman to Replace George Washington on US Dollar Bill
President Barack Obama issued an executive order today, directing US Secretary of the Treasury. Jack Lew, to replace George Washington with Harriet Tubman on the dollar bill.
Beyonce's ass seceeds from JayZ...
...Kanye plants his flag claims it for Yeezus.
David Cameron has promised to double the amount of "cut price started homes" so expect a shanty town to be built on the outskirts of Leeds
All Points Bulletin for Kerry Issued in Paris
The French have been charged by Barack I,US Emperor,to seek out Foreign Minister Kerry,as he fled from Nuclear sell-out talks with Iran. Police were pointed to the Paris sewers, Kerry's natural abode.