Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Scalding epidemic

The Dyslexics Christmas Party fire walk caused massive scalding among entrants after the pool was filled with hot colas.

written by IainB, 27 November 2014
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'Paddington ' the sweet kid's movie has a dark side

Boot - Legs of 'Paddington - The Director's Cut ', reveal the loveable teddy bear's naughty side....especially where he trolls Winnie The Pooh (his rival) on Facebook

written by Ella Davide, 27 November 2014
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Oscar Pistoris Advent Calendar

Bargain Booze are now selling Oscar Pistoris Advent calendars - there's a shot behind every door.

written by IainB, 27 November 2014
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Style Maven/Ex-Con Stewart Announces Her Latest For the Holiday

Stewart today touted her rollout of MarthaGoblers--designer turkeys for the Thanksgiving feast. MarthaGoblers are available in various skin-tone shades from Titian Brown to Chirascuro Noir and Blanc

written by Trinculoman, 27 November 2014
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Man Upset

A man was reportedly upset on a London tube train yesterday when a schoolgirl said something to him about his baldness. Girl is still in custody as police investigation continues.

written by Auntie Matter, 27 November 2014
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Santa threatens Work to Rule

Santa has threatened to only deliver presents to homes where ' A gluten - free mince pie is left out for him 'and where there is no Health and Safety Risk to coming down the Chimney

written by Ella Davide, 26 November 2014
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Fool A Prisoner Day To Take Place On Saturday

Practical jokers will wait outside U.K.prisons on Saturday dressed in silver tunics or flying about in cars suspended by invisible wires so that released lifers will think they've done 100 years.

written by Auntie Jean, 26 November 2014
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Computer Virus responds to Placebo

A Computer Virus has responded to a Vitamin Pill Writeable Disk.. ...The Disk, is in fact a Placebo, posing as an Anti-Viral Drug , but must be Cloud Compatible , and is only effective for 30-days

written by Ella Davide, 25 November 2014
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Beards to be taxed in another Austerity Measure

In yet another bid to raise taxes, the Irish Government is to tax the many beards on show in Ireland. Bushier beards are to be taxed at the higher rate of 103%

written by Ella Davide, 25 November 2014
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Ferguson explodes because of colour blind killing!

A colour blind, armed police officer killed an unarmed youth who just happened to be black and was judged not guilty by a colour free court, now everything has gone black or white; non colours BTW!

written by Jaggedone, 25 November 2014
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Queen of Sheba Susan Rice Demands Hagel's Head

"QueenSheba" Rice had a hissy fit over SecDef Hagel's failure to mouth the Regime's spin on foreign threats. She issued a beheading decree,only deflected by Court Jester "Loony Joe" Biden's ravings.

written by Trinculoman, 24 November 2014
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Direct Debits now to include non - Human customers

A Snowman has had his Direct Debit set - up with a London Bank, even though he may melt before March 2015.

written by Ella Davide, 24 November 2014
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People of Africa to donate 'gagging ' funds

The people of Africa wish to send cash to the 'Band - Aid 30' Singers , in the hopes that this might stop them singing

written by Ella Davide, 24 November 2014
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Lewis Hamilton has fastest designer beard on the planet!

Without any Mercedes Benz know-how Lewis Hamilton has just been crowned "World Fastest Designer Beard Champion". He has a special trimmer in the form of a Siamese cat who licks him after every race!

written by Jaggedone, 24 November 2014
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Temple University Kicked Out of American Athletic Conference Due to Association With Bill Cosby

The American Athletic Conference announced today that since Temple University is so closely associated with Bill Cosby, they are being expelled from the league.

written by Al N., 24 November 2014
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Washington DC Discusses Giant Crack Pipe Monument to Mayor Barry

The citizens of Washington DC, in a spate of nostalgia over the death of its former mayor Marion Barry, couldn't decide if his monument should be a coke spoon or a red light bulb.

written by Al N., 24 November 2014
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Fugitive bighorn sheep decapitated by LA hit-and-run driver

Damned beheading jihadis now kerbcrawling all over Los Angeles looking for some pervy fun

written by queen mudder, 23 November 2014
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Woman rescued from IS camp cooked for jihadis

Mostly from the Jihadi Cannibal Cookbook of spare limb recipies, guess the bastards have to do something with all those amputations, eh?

written by queen mudder, 23 November 2014
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Miley Cyrus is Mad at Kim Kardashian for Posing Nude

"Who does she think she is, me?" said Miley.

written by Al N., 23 November 2014
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New York now belongs to the Polar Circle!

The deep freeze hitting northeast US has forced Google Maps to enter the area into the Polar circle. Eskimos and Polar Bears were seen playing in the snow after deserting their global-warmed homeland!

written by Jaggedone, 23 November 2014
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ISIS is not headless!

Rebel fighters fighting ISIS have confirmed the fact that they are not a bunch of headless chickens, however, they are a bunch of loony headbangers who love giving head!

written by Jaggedone, 23 November 2014
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Oh, BTW, United have now been reincarnated!

Dead, buried Man United have been renamed Lazarus after a miracle happened in London. They actually beat someone on away terrain and their manager Louis v Gaal has been renamed Jesus in double Dutch

written by Jaggedone, 23 November 2014
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The ghost of Jaggedone is alive!

Ex-Spoof writer, Jaggedone, now a ghostly 'Fata Morgana' has been reincarnated and declared an immortal Spoofer after confirming that people still read his utter crap, WOW!

written by Jaggedone, 23 November 2014
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Kim Kardashian Will Stay Nude and Donate Wardrobe Money to Charity

It will make those skiing trips to Vail a little chilly though.

written by Al N., 23 November 2014
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Feds investigating festive drone sightings in Colorado area

Reports say Santa's using mini airborne sleighs this year on the Colorado Xmas Pot Cookie run

written by queen mudder, 22 November 2014
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NYPD rookie calls fatal shooting of unarmed man 'accident waiting to happen'

Oh yeah? Guess that's enough for the Governor to call out the National Guard

written by queen mudder, 22 November 2014
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Mayor De Blasio appoints NYC Human Frights Commission head

Appointment backdated to Halloween.

written by queen mudder, 22 November 2014
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Obama fun eraser accused of sex with miner

The guy swears they were just mining for uranium deposits together when ine thing led to an udder

written by queen mudder, 22 November 2014
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Starbucks' to launch 'Christmas Booze - Up '

Starbucks are sick of selling do-good , Fair - Trade coffee....they're gonna hawk Irish 60% Poteen with every flapjack bought between 7.50 AND 8PM every third Monday 'til Christmas...a blast, Man

written by Ella Davide, 22 November 2014
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Wine is good for the blood

Getting plastered on wine is not only acceptable , as it's posh, but also good for the blood, being red and liquid, say experts

written by Ella Davide, 22 November 2014
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Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.

written by Auntie Jean, 22 November 2014
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'One Direction' in wrong direction

Members of band 'One Direction' caused chaos as they drove the wrong way, up a one - direction street, yesterday.

written by Ella Davide, 22 November 2014
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Food is bad for you

Most Food is bad news, say Food Experts, though a certain amount of Food is necessary, in order not to die of Lack of Food

written by Ella Davide, 21 November 2014
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Santa in Smart -phone Scandal

Santa's phone has been tapped, revealing his 'inappropriate ' calls to Kate Middleton , regarding his ''TOY SACK..Ruetterse

written by Ella Davide, 21 November 2014
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State of Utah revives plans to allow firing squad executions

And that's just for dropping litter in public

written by queen mudder, 21 November 2014
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Obama pardons 5m illegals

Huge flock of Mexican turkeys now safe and secure ahead of annual Thanksgiving dinner cull

written by queen mudder, 21 November 2014
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Unusual plea of mitigation sees accused plead brainworm contamination

'This guy had a tapeworm in his brain for four years your honor,' his attorney said, "made him think he was United States Presided t."

written by queen mudder, 21 November 2014
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House GOP sues President for overstepping with ObamaScare

The former Scare-in-the-Community Organiser turned US President is being trawled over hot coals in the DC courts

written by queen mudder, 21 November 2014
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Cathedrals To Be Used For Easter Egg Production

Chocolate Eggs and even chocolate crosses are to be made by newly appointed egg deacons in Cathedrals across the U.K. Proceeds will go towards roof repairs and mending holes in Bishop's robes.

written by Auntie Jean, 21 November 2014
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Bill Cosby Victims Coming Forward at Rate of One Every 15 Minutes

As the number of Bill Cosby assault victims rise, it is now estimated to be at the rate of one victim coming forward every 15 minutes and rising. "Very difficult now to keep track," said a reporter.

written by Al N., 21 November 2014
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Emperor Obama Decrees Amnesty for All Aliens

Barack I has conferred legitimacy on all aliens in US now and forever. Martians celebrate in New York by tentacle waves and zapping the new World Trade Center.Klingons plan a takeover of Miami Beach.

written by Trinculoman, 21 November 2014
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Japan PM Shinzo Abe dissolves parliament

Early reports say he sealed up all the doors and windows, and poured in sulfuric acid.

It is not yet known whether Parliament was sitting at the time.

written by Bullshot Bill, 21 November 2014
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Dozens of Women Claim Cosby Never Raped Them

Although it's taken since 2006 when rape allegations against Cosby first emerged, his PR firm has managed to find MANY women who encountered Cosby but were never raped by him (to their knowledge).

written by Al N., 20 November 2014
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Bill Cosby to Star in New Film With Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, and Michael Richards

NOT sidelined by being shut down on projects by NBC, Netflix, CBC, and his grandchildren's PTA Christmas Program, Bill Cosby announced his new movie will also include Chris Brown & Lance Armstrong.

written by Al N., 20 November 2014
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Bill Cosby Wants to Sit Down and Have a Drink With Everyone Who Thinks He's A Rapist

Once-popular comedian, Bill Cosby, in a lighter vein, said in a Fat Albert voice that he would like to have a drink with everybody who thinks he's a rapist, especially the 19-year-old girls.

written by Al N., 20 November 2014
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Trans-Fats Linked to Worse Memory

Uh, could have sworn I read something sbout this stuff only yesterday but hey, amnesia ain't all it's made out to be

written by queen mudder, 19 November 2014
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Palestinian terror group claims responsibility for deadly loan shark attack

Usury removal business still thriving on thr Gaza Strip

written by queen mudder, 19 November 2014
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Miss Honduras and sister found murdered with gunshot wounds

Organisers fear this weekend's Miss World contest about to get very very nasty

written by queen mudder, 19 November 2014
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Senate Dems reject Keystone XL oil pipeline build bill

Fear 'XL' really means 'extra large' and the new pipe will soon be grossly obese - like many Canadians already

written by queen mudder, 19 November 2014
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One million guns sold ahead of Ferguson grand jury decision

Folks feel you just can't be careful enough in case they reach the 'wrong' decision

written by queen mudder, 19 November 2014
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