Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Solksjaer Sacked by Vincent Tan's Cardiff
Baby-faced assassin assassinated by Bond villain
Solksjaer 'Leaves' Cardiff City
Norwegian cites a "difference in philosophy over how to manage the club", with this philosophical difference coinciding with the team struggling to win a game
September 19th Is 'International Talk Like A Pirate Day'
People throughout the world are being encouraged to use expressions such a 'Ahoy matey' and 'We're from Mogadishu, and we're taking control of this oil tanker.'
"I Made Up Global Warming" Admits Gore
"I needed a new campaign hook and that bit about me inventing the Internet just wasn't going to fly so I just thought up that one," said Al Gore, Nobel Prize winner and former Vice-President.
Yes, YES, YES. Better Together.
Obama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL
The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria.
Forgetful terrorist rushes to petrol station to buy last minute 9/11 anniversary present
Obama Discovers Daughters Dropped Out of School and Split
President Barack Obama was shocked to discover that his two daughters, Malia and Sasha, dropped out of school and moved to Canada a year ago.
"We just got tired of living in a fishbowl" they said.
'ello 'ello, anyone there?
Phones4U have finally hung up.
Alan Pardew: Newcastle manager backed by club owner Mike Ashley
David Moyes is expected to unveiled as the Magpies new boss on Wednesday.
Daryl Hannah Breaks Up With Neil Young
I get confused sometimes but as soon as he started playing Heart of Gold instead of Sweet Caroline, I realized that I had gotten Neil Young and Neil Diamond mixed up," said Ms. Hannah on her break-up.
Zombies Seize Golem Heights
Key Israeli garrisons in the Golem Heights have fallen to an army of zombies marching in from Har Megiddo, led by a badly decomposing Jew clad only in a loincloth and a crown of thorns.
Obama threatens to bomb Syria.
Vegas gives 13:1 odds on the E.U. just pussying out.
Scottish Businesses Try To Sound Upbeat About A Possible 'Yes' Vote
'Independence could be good for Scotland,' said a spokesman for Scottish Industry, 'as long as the border could be moved closer to Thurso.'
Protests At News That Just 3% of England's GCSE Papers Will Be Awarded The New Ultra-high Grade From 2017
'This is just another example of the exam system discriminating against the not-so-bright,' said a spokesman for the 'high grades for all' campaign.
South Africa Pissed Off
As Oscar gets away with murder the South African public is throughly pissed off with Pistorfrious.
A clearer case of murder has seldom been seen, but a sporting decision has been made.
Donald Trump and Dick Cheny Play Round of Golf, Both Claim Record Scores
Dick Cheney and Donald Trump both announced after their round of golf together that they each had shot an 18, a hole-in-one on every hole.
New Charity Set Up to Help Street Workers
'Chugger Aid' - the new scheme for charity muggers has today been launched. Its aim is to help support the workers who tirelessly pester office workers on their lunch-breaks, on high street precincts.
Child porn suspect found living with 50 dead cats stuffed in freezer
Guess the guy must have really been into frigid pussy
WTF 'Go inside a glacier and get up close with Alaskan wildlife' ??
Sarah Palin full of PMT again?
Michael Moore calls Barack Obama a huge disappointment
Then promptly consoles himself by scoffing down six double cheeseburgers, three sodas, a quart of icecream, two Mars Bars and a packet of Hostess Twinkies. Ain't life sweet.
Teacher asks sixth-graders to compare George W Bush to Hitler
Kids say Adolf a lot less of a scumbag than his grandson Dubya
Ex-White House lawyer gets 15 years for spouse abuse
Pleads mitigation because George W bush's waterboarding program accidentally gave him ideas
Ebola survivor's blood used to treat defective US doctor
Defective? Uh, maybe defected! Turns out the quack legged it to Russia years ago
National Geographic Museum's giant water-living dinosaur unveiled
Damn critter was hiding behind a massive burkha
Andrew Madoff left all his $16M fortune to family...
...of Siberian Mongoose who faced ruination following dad Bernie Madoff's crazy Russian wildlife escapade
Schools Introduce Capital Punishment
Hanging will replace detention as the main form of punishment in schools across England and Wales from November as part of new tough measures to tackle disruptive pupils.
President Obama Announces Strategy To Combat ISIL
President Barack Obama announced his specific plans today to combat the Islamic State militant group. He reiterated that the United States would never comment on strategy, tactics or timetables.
Justin Bieber to Strip for Charity
Justin Bieber, who recently stripped on national TV, continued his creepy new habit of taking his clothes off by announcing that he will strip for Eddie's Kids. Eddie is a top porn producer.
Another One Caught on Tape
Pro Running Back Joe Brawn Caught Stuffing His Wife's Body in His Freezer; NFL League Officials Suspicious
Scottish independence: Queen 'above politics', Buckingham Palace says
However Prince Charles is not so will be sticking his nose in where it isn't wanted.
Dawlish Mud And Straw House Collapses
A traditionally built house of compacted mud and straw has collapsed in a Devon town. The three pigs who own the property have blamed a big bad wolf. 'We'll use bricks next time,' they resolved.
Taylor Swift and Katie Perry to Have Arena Battle to Settle Differences
Arch-rivals Taylor Swift and Katie Perry have only one thing they agree on-they love being the center of attention in large arenas. The "singers" announced that they would battle it out with a tour.
President's ISIS Plan Is Top Video Game
Obama's ISIS plan to combat terrorism, while not lighting fires in Congress, has been adapted into a video game and IPhone application that has quickly become the most popular in the nation.
"Make my day punk!"
Dirty Harry strikes again, Kate up the duff with Damien 2.
UKIP Claims To Have Solved The Ripper Mystery Using DNA
A spokesman for the party said: "We can confirm that Jack the Ripper was a Polish immigrant proving that immigrants have always been bad and we need to get rid of them all."
"'Ello, 'Ello I'm Johnny Cash"
Dyslexic Home Office Minister sends copy of Ring of Fire to Calais by mistake.
Minogue bribery charges dropped.
After a long court battle, the bribery charges brought by a disabled police officer against Kylie Minogue have all been dropped. The officer involved when asked for comment ended up blowing a fuse.
MPAA charges with "Sexism"
Feminists have charged the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) with "sexism" for labeling films featuring male nudity as "gross" while describing those containing female nudity as "yum."
Twitter quashes rumors
So many celebrities have posted nude photos on Twitter that the social networking service has had to deny rumors that it's changing its name to "Titter" and referring to posts as "tits," not "tweets."
Jupiter Demotes Earth to Non-Planet
News from Jupiter is that they no longer consider Earth large enough to be a planet. When asked about Mercury, which is smaller than Earth, Jupiter said "Mercury doesn't have an attitude like Earth."
Newly discovered asteroid to make close pass this Sunday
US president tells everyone to take precautions and stay indoors
OMG! Hackers break into HealthCare.gov
Steal fifty million digital condoms and half a kilo of dental novocaine
Chicago woman killed by falling gargoyle
An omen? Sounds like Return of the Creepy Da Vinci Code!
'Deer' spotted running across Golden Gate Bridge traffic
Later reports corrected early sighting, now downgraded from 'deer' to 'lemmings'
Deadly albino cobra menaces LA suburb
Zoologists reckon it's probably a relative of some radioactive albino lobsters caught off Maine last week
Extremely rare indigenous albino lobsters caught in waters off Maine
Turns out it's a pair of fugitive 'blanched' Japanese crustaceans from the radioactive marine reserve near Fukushima nuclear plant
Gulf War 3
Obama Taps VP Biden for New Role
Wales- Before departing the Summit, Obama named loony "Uncle Joe" Biden as Ambassador-in-Loco to Russian-Separatist-held Ukraine. The Pres's expectation is that Putin will quickly dub Joe "Idiotski."
Pamela Anderson Nude Shocker!
Pictures of "actress" Pam Anderson were illegally downloaded from the Apple cloud and it was a shocker when in ALL the pictures she was fully clothed!!