Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Hungarian President Beaten To Death By All Male Mob For Criticizing Internet Porn
Hungary's President was killed by a mob, angry over rumors that he thought internet porn "unbecoming." He has been replaced with a dictator and all of his political allies shot.
Surgeon General Issues Warning About "Having It Done Up Your Butt"
America's top doctor warned citizens off taking "even a medium one" in the rear.
"It hurts, causes fissures and tearing,makes you walk funny for days. Taking it up the butt is not cool," he said.
German Reichstag Torched
The Reichstag building in Berlin burnt to the ground yesterday. The building was filled with MP's, all of whom were killed. A dictatorship has been declared and the entire intellectual class shot.
Palermo, Sicily Sacked By Muslim Hordes
Over 250,000 self identified "Saracen" crusaders sacked Palermo yesterday. The group is moving now up the Italian peninsula, leaving piles of corpses in its wake. 85,000 have been reported beheaded.
American Troops Burn Australian Capital
American servicemen on leave burned the Australian capital of Canberra to the ground yesterday. The Navy apologized and vowed to investigate the incident. 42,500 are thought to have burned to death.
San Diego Zoo officials said "Wilbur", a tortoise that mounted an unnamed female tortoise in November, finally began ejaculating Monday morning.
"He should be done in a month," said a spokesman.
Mike Huckabee Blown In Burger King Parking Lot
Reporters accompanying Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee caught him being blown in an Iowa woman's car Monday. Huckabee said he was a sinner and God would forgive both of them.
Hillary Clinton Thrown From Campaign Van Touring Iowa
Staffers sick of Hillary Clinton nodding threw her from her campaign van as it sped down an Iowa highway at 85 mph. The former first lady was gravely injured and is expected to die within the week.
FDA Approves Magnum Condoms For Two Dicks
The FDA announced today that Magnum Condoms can be advertised as effective birth control for "double barreling".
"The rubbers can accommodate two average dongs," a spokeswoman said.
Tea Party Caucus Renounces Constitution
The Tea Party Caucus will no longer protest unconstitutonal legislation.
"We can enslave your first born and cite the commerce or necessary and proper clause," said John Bohner.
Obama Calls Black TV Executive a 'Gawd-Dammed Frigging Pussy'
After Byron Allen unloaded on President Barack Obama, calling him a 'White President In Black Face', Obama fired back, calling the black TV executive a "Gawd-Dammed Frigging Pussy".
Fury at headlines claiming Syria's top ancient ruin threatened by ISIS take-over
That's no way to describe President Bashar al-Assad's ageing mother-in-law
Does Harvard University have a secret society that's a major force for evil?
Yale's Skull N Bones Club says Yes!
BBC Springwatch to get makeover
With the return of Hunting with Hounds in the Queens Speech, Springwatch will now be presented by Jeremy Clarkson and feature footage of dogs ripping Foxes and Badgers to death.
Kelly Carlin Revises George Carlin's List of Words You Can't Say on TV
George Carlin's only daughter, Kelly Carlin, has updated her father's famous list of the "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television".
One Song Responsible For Most Mass Phobia
Shrinks and Quacks with PHD's all agree that Steven Sondheim's song, 'Send In The Clowns' is responsible for almost 80% of all clown phobias. Smoke Robinson's 'Tears Of A Clown,' makes up the rest.
White Man Kills Unarmed Black Bear
ANCHORAGE, AK - An unarmed black bear was fatally shot after it threatened a white homeowner and his white dog.
President Obama Issues Executive Order to Fund Army of Community Organizers
President Obama announced he will send billions of dollars to various community-activist groups to combat urban police.
Prince Charles Shakes Hands With Gerry Adams
......during a visit to the 'gents'
Chilling Survey... It's all in the Words
A new Sheeple-Survey has revealed that nine out of ten people would rather be 'euthanased' than killed.
Rowling Confesses Potter Book 8 on the Way.
Declared J.K. Rowling to the Sunday Express... "I never ever, ever, ever, ever said I would not write Potter Book 8. What I said was I was not "thinking" of doing so. I am soooooooooo embarrassed.
Monsanto... Very Fishy Indeed!
After dumping two tons of genetically modified fish into the Atlantic, anyone henceforth fishing in any ocean or sea anywhere in the world will have to buy a licence from Monsanto ... or be sued.
Andy Burnham: I Am The Change Candidate
Jekyll or Hyde cobber?
Chuka Umunna Drops Labour Leadership Bid
..joins Hot chocolate comeback tour...money for nothing and the chicks are free.....and better looking than the Labour harpies!
Sarah Brightman's Trip To Space Called Off
....just discovered she is fresh out of baked beans.
Bear 'Buries Woman Alive To Eat Her Later'..
When interviewed by the police the bear replied:"Listen mate, have you seen how much Tesco are charging for horsemeat!"
Michelle Obama Blames Her Thin Skin On Her White Ancestors
After being lambasted by both the left and right for her portrayal of being a "victim" at Tuskegee University, Michelle Obama, blamed her thin skin on her white great-great-great grandfather.
Idiot comes to a sobering realisation
Man who for some baffling reason considered himself to be witty, amusing and erudite for 45 years comes to the horrible realisation that he is Giles Coren.
Kim Jong Un Executes Newborn Infant For Crying
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un executed a newborn infant for crying when the Supreme Leader visited a hospital, Un's Supreme Press Secretary, Yu Stin Ki Pu, told The Spoof Today.
Prince Charles' Letters to be Released
Big scoop? Well... "However, some redactions were made to the letters, where the court deemed parts of the content to not be in the public's interest." (Guardian).
In other words, Sheeple... don't waste your time reading the shit. Or, lap up what they throw you.
New World Religion "CHRISTLAM" on the Way
Four years from now the NWO global religion called "Christlam" will begin. Pope Francis has summoned Disneyland designers to the Vatican.
Scientology Severely Taxed
The Supreme High Court USA has ordered the Church of Scientology to pay its taxes like everybody else. Tom Cruise so upset he may need to be 'cleared' by the late Ron Hubbard.
'Alarming Rise' In Strokes Among Younger Men.
..the perils of lads magazines!
Medic or corpsman
The difference between a Army Medic or Navy Corpsman is one if by land and two if by sea?
Apple to Unveil iPen
CUPERTINO, CA - Apple announced this afternoon that it will release the iPen in June.
Rolf Harris... Fall Guy for The Powerful Guilty
The Savile Inquiry is now certain to drag on for another ten years... until all the powerful guilty die off. Meanwhile, let all the Sheeple focus on old Rolf Harris... yet again. Just so's you know 'justice' is being done... yo ho ho!
China continues excavation to unveil more Panna Cotta Worriers
Uh, make that 'Terra Cotta', panna being a sticky Italian pudding and totally unsuitable for major excavation works
Mubarak gets 3 years in the slammer for corruption charges
Muslim Bruvverhood dead chuffed at such a result
Raul Castro will go back to preying after meeting Pope Frankie
Disgusting, what a pair of dirty old men!
"Hate the sin, not the sinner," he says exculpatorily, as he hungrily bites into his bacon and tomato sandwich that his second wife just prepared for him.
Hillary Asks Bruce Jenner to Consider Being Vice President
Hillary Clinton Monday asked Bruce Jenner to run as Vice President, becoming the first potential transgender Presidential Candidate. Republicans were quick to point out something totally irrelevant.
Fantasy-Reality Swop Finally Complete
The media drive to confuse reality with fantasy has finally reached its goal. Next year's Hollywood Oscars will have an additional category... BEST DRONE MISSILE CONTROLLER.
Caught on Camera: White Cable News Reporter Kicks Black Cable News Reporter
A white cable news reporter was charged with assault after a video showed him kicking a black cable news reporter.
20 Sturgeons Accused of Voting Illegally in the UK
20 Sturgeons were accused of voting illegally today in Picadilly, but it was later ruled they mistakenly swam into the poll looking for caviar.
Brady Leaks Another Detail on the Deflated Ball Controversy
Patriots QB told the press he is contractually obligated to use deflated balls. See,any air let out of game balls is quickly injected into Brady's personal balls, so he gets a 'float' on field'n'bed.
This Insult Won't Work
Given the genius and utility of the reproductive system of a flower, is there any point in telling a flower to go fuck itself?
Man Prints 3D Gun, Shoots 4D Wife!
A man in Boston purchased a new 3D printer, and pressed the buttons for a small handgun and one bullet.
"Harold, you've been in the damn basement all day!" were the last words his wife ever said.
Carbon dioxide levels reach highs not seen for 20 million years
You can blame all that toxic hot air on dumb Brit politicians yakking their heads off before Thirsday's general election
WTF 'You can now buy John Lennon's iconic glasses'?
Half pint beer glass and highball balloon probably included with plastic coffee mug
Bubba 'Splains Why He Needs Them $500K Speech Gigs
Ex-Pres and intern-molester Clinton reveals why those talk-a-ripoffs gotta continue. Price inflation at the world-wide knocking shoppes he visits has sky rocketed. Bubba needs dough to plow and sow.