Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked

Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.

written by Trinculoman, 25 March 2015
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Fog hits British news readers on the Beeb!

It seems that Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson getting the boot from his rather childish programme is more important than the German Wings tragody. Well that's what the Beeb shows on the internet!

written by Jaggedone, 25 March 2015
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Wife Jailed For Attempt To 'Boil Her Husband'.

..............poor sod, he only married her for her culinary skills in the first place!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 25 March 2015
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Britain To Boost Falkland Islands Defences

.....two new peashooters purchased from Amazon.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 25 March 2015
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Church Appoints Its Second Woman Bishop

.....due to a dire shortage of choirboys!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 25 March 2015
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Animals May Help Predict Earthquakes -Study

nothing new here, my cat reaches 5.1 on the Richter scale every time he craps for England!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 25 March 2015
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Collie Dog joins Teaching Staff of Primary School

The dog helps encourage pupils learning, but Ofsted say her Diploma out of Date

written by Ella Davide, 24 March 2015
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Nuns invade altar where Pope saying Mass

Congregation thought they were Villa Fans on Stag Weekend

written by Ella Davide, 24 March 2015
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The Hillary Has to Make a Quick-Change in Order to Appear in Public

Known to insiders is that Hillary has to don those sail-maker crafted pants suit only for public events. Mandated by all Clinton funding from those Arab states, she must be in strict purdah elsewhere.

written by Trinculoman, 24 March 2015
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Cameron promises not to serve a third term!

There is a god after all!

written by Jaggedone, 23 March 2015
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El Classico or El Crappico??

Past classic, Liverpool v Man United, is nearly upon us as far away in Spain a real classic will take place, Barcelona v Real! Did the English "Messi" something up here?

written by Jaggedone, 22 March 2015
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Indian students are cheats; SURE!

Bihar University, India: Students taking exams are cheating by hanging on to open window frames and receiving completed exam papers from fellow students. Maybe the university should get some glass!

written by Jaggedone, 21 March 2015
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Spock's Predicament

The late Spock, as a half-human male, tried without success to solve a most curious problem: He was attracted to women with one huge boob!

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 21 March 2015
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US Surgeon General Recomends Federal Copulation Center

Surgeon General Vice Admiral Vivek H. Murthy, released a study today recommending that President Obama issue an executive order to establish a Federal United Copulation Center (FUCC).

written by Moose, 20 March 2015
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Scientists Blame Solar Eclipses on Global Climate Change

USGS Chief Scientist, Jack MeHoff, released a study today that concludes that the increasing number of solar eclipses is due to Global Climate Change, caused by human activity.

written by Moose, 20 March 2015
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Telsa Motors Unveils Coal-Powered SUV

Telsa Motors' CEO, Ellen Mush, announced their next "green" vehicle - The Telsa Model C. The model C is the first coal-powered vehicle since the 1884 Trepardeux.

written by Moose, 20 March 2015
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President Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That All African-Americans Must Vote

In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday.

written by Moose, 20 March 2015
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English clubs form own Champions League!

Because English clubs perform so terribly in Europe the FA has withdrawn all teams and from a GB competition; at least there's a chance of an English club winning that, in Europe, no chance!

written by Jaggedone, 19 March 2015
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Archbishop Of Canterbury Reassures Anxious Fundamentalist Christians About Solar Eclipse

'This is a normal astronomical phenomenon,' the archbishop reassured anxious fundamentalist believers. 'It does not mean that God is angry with you.'

written by Swan Morrison, 19 March 2015
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Tearful Duo Forms Joint Venture in US Empire

Emperor Barack I and "BooHoo" Pelosi share their sorrow over triumph of PM Netanyahu in Israeli election. They plan to go on the road with their tear-throwing act at sad-sack, Empire Liberal venues.

written by Trinculoman, 19 March 2015
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John Boehner Files Petition for Change of Name

Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, John Boehner, filed a petition with the Municipal Court of West Chester Township, Ohio today to legally change his name.

written by Moose, 18 March 2015
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TV's 'Neighbours' At 30: Top Facts About The Soap

............It's still crap!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 18 March 2015
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Billions Of Planets In Our Galaxy 'May Hold Life'

..Jeremy Kyle show renewed for another 5 years!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 18 March 2015
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Budget: Osborne Insists 'The Plan Is Working'

....to right George, another five years of Conservative rule and we'll be on par with Albania!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 18 March 2015
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Three Judges Fired For Watching Porn At Work

..puts whole new slant on the saying "here comes the Judge!"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 18 March 2015
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Ikea Bans Hide-And-Seek In its Stores

................the poor sods were merely trying to find the way out.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 18 March 2015
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Nigel Farage Blows Gasket at claims he cant Handle Criticism.

Nigel Farage is furious over the suggestion that he doesn't handle criticism well after claims that his new book, 'The Purple Revolution' is rubbish.

written by LEDHEAD, 18 March 2015
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Justice Department Preparing Lawsuit Against Polar Bears International

The Justice Department is preparing to bring a lawsuit against Polar Bears International over a pattern of racially discriminatory tactics.

written by Moose, 17 March 2015
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D&G ask the world to boycott Elton John!

Gay designers, Dolce & Gabbana, have asked the world to boycott gay Elton John because he is a gay dad and they couldn't have children! I wonder why?

written by Jaggedone, 16 March 2015
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Feminist can't get married

1.2 million feminist who spent their entire lives criticizing men are now old without husbands. They should have spent their time looking for husbands.

written by Bill Cosby, 15 March 2015
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Woman Hired for the Same Pay as the Men

Male employees are furious about this change in practice and they want a 23% raise to compensate.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 14 March 2015
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South Africa offer penis transplants!

A successful penis transplant op in South Africa has caused an invasion of mainly Asian men hoping for an extension! Black men are also hoping for an op because their wives constantly feel the pain!

written by Jaggedone, 14 March 2015
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Mad Willy Flint has a trick

Mad Willy, a faithful misogynist concocts a plan to become transgender and pretty then infiltrate N.O.W. and initiate the collapse of the organization through sabotage.

written by Bill Cosby, 13 March 2015
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Chris Christie Foundation Recommends Closing the income gap for fat people

Spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese.

written by Moose, 13 March 2015
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Duchess of Cambridge potential threat

In her recent visit to the set of 'Downton Abbey', Kate was security screened. When announced as : 'A Modern Duchess ', Security interpreted this to mean an Eastend Gangster's Mother.....

written by Ella Davide, 12 March 2015
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UKIP is 'Colour - blind' party

Though their supporters are ultra sensitive to tones, like black and white

written by Ella Davide, 12 March 2015
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No more Top Gear just Flop Gear from now on!

Global iconic buffoonery show, Top Gear, has been hauled off the TV because Clarkson, who dared once to use the word N++++r believing it was funny, has slung a left hook at his producer, naughty chap!

written by Jaggedone, 12 March 2015
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Ayatollah Obama Slams Republican Senators' Letter

The United States Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Barack Obama, criticized a letter sent by 47 U.S. Republican Senators to Tehran about the ongoing negotiations on Iran's nuclear program.

written by Moose, 12 March 2015
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Clarkson's Rise: 'You Can't Live Without Him'

..wanna bet, I'm doing nicely thank you!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 12 March 2015
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Eurovision Entries ''too original''

The UK may be heading for Eurovision failure, say critics.
There is no exhibitionist element , just melody and talent...sure to fail.....

written by Ella Davide, 11 March 2015
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Clarkson considered 'too extreme'' for UKIP

Mr Clarkson's views that small, Japanese cars are best, at Fuel Economy, are too extreme, according to Thanet HQ.

written by Ella Davide, 11 March 2015
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Specsavers beckons!

Visually impaired pensioner thought he was signing a 'relegate' Clarkson petition!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 11 March 2015
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Mirror Group Phone Hacking Caused Japanese Tsunami Claims Celebrity

'I am not exaggerating,' the celebrity told the High Court in London, 'either due to justifiable anger or a wish to maximise a damages payment.'

written by Swan Morrison, 11 March 2015
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Yeti Encountered In Himalayas

'This event might have provided conclusive, photographic proof of the yeti,' said a spokesman. 'Sadly, all shots used selfie sticks, and the creatures were obscured by the photographer's friends.'

written by Swan Morrison, 11 March 2015
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Extraterrestrials Land In New York's Central Park

'This event might have provided conclusive, photographic proof of extraterrestrials,' said a spokesman. 'Sadly, all shots used selfie sticks, and the aliens were hidden by the photographers' friends.'

written by Swan Morrison, 11 March 2015
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3 teenage girls kidnapped by ISIS eagles!

Reports that 3 teenage girls voluntarily joined ISIS is not true! Fact is they were kidnapped by a squadron of swooping ISIS eagles whilst listening to Justin Bieber on their I phones, a deadly sin!

written by Jaggedone, 11 March 2015
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Harriet Tubman to Replace George Washington on US Dollar Bill

President Barack Obama issued an executive order today, directing US Secretary of the Treasury. Jack Lew, to replace George Washington with Harriet Tubman on the dollar bill.

written by Moose, 11 March 2015
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Beyonce's ass seceeds from JayZ...

...Kanye plants his flag claims it for Yeezus.

written by Kilroy, 11 March 2015
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Afford This

David Cameron has promised to double the amount of "cut price started homes" so expect a shanty town to be built on the outskirts of Leeds

written by Backandtotheleft, 11 March 2015
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All Points Bulletin for Kerry Issued in Paris

The French have been charged by Barack I,US Emperor,to seek out Foreign Minister Kerry,as he fled from Nuclear sell-out talks with Iran. Police were pointed to the Paris sewers, Kerry's natural abode.

written by Trinculoman, 10 March 2015
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