Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Louis van Gaal's new tactic; spitting!
LVG introduced a secret weapon to his lame team hoping to please frustrated United fans; a spitting Llama! Away fans loved his debut at Newcastle and hope now they can spit their way into the top 4!
British TV Boss Sacked
British Television boss sacked after he suggests that his channel commission Snog, Marry, Avoid: Pedophile Special.
Woodpecker whacking weasel is ISIS mole
Leaked MI5 debriefing reports show that an ISIS mole known as "the weasel" returned to London recently and well, attacked the first beautiful thing she could find. PTSD is suspected...
Irish and British Politicians promise the Earth
The above Politicians are vowing to improve everything, including more sunshine, less rain and money - bearing trees, in the run up to Elections
B.Netanyahu gets muted response at in U.S
'It was all too political, even from a Politician', says observer
Boris Nemtsov Murder In Russia
Strangely, 22 CCTV cameras in the Kremlin were 'switched off' for maintenance or gave fuzzy images at the time of Nemtsov murder. Like the CCTV cameras in the Alma tunnel when Princess Diana died.
NFL stars to donate brains for medical research
Unfortunately the two unnamed players idea of removing each others brains with a table saw before sending them to USC went every so slightly wrong.
Nigel Farage's big Berlin Wall!
UKIP will build a huge wall around the UK if elected! They haven't decided which one, Texan/Mexican (too porous) or a Berlin style, but Farage's missus, a German ordered him to take BERLIN or be shot!
Saint Patrick's Day Celebrations may offend
People all over the World who 'just can't wear green' may cause Saint Pat's Day Celebrations to be rethought.
Slain Russian opposition leader's girlfriend adopts the Sphynx Position
See No Evil, Hear No Evil advice coincides with Moscow's broken CCTV system on night of the shooting
Crazed woman digs up dad's grave, finds only cigarettes and vodka
Now WTF did Pa hide the TV remote control?
Hundreds of Pakistani parents jailed for refusing to indoctrinate kids
Ah, make that vaccinate, the brainwashing's just fine
Hillary Clinton Used Personal Coffee Cup While Working as Secretary of State
It appears that Hillary Clinton violated protocol by employing a personal coffee cup while she was Secretary of State. This is an offense and may be against the law.
Emperor Finally Issues A "Secure Borders" Edict
Barack I degreed today all borders of the US Empire shall be sealed to prevent entry of the "undesirable alien" Bibi Netanyahu. Chief of Secret Storm Troopers, Eric Holder, will personally enforce it.
Cops say they know why someone built an underground bunker in Toronto
Looks like Preppers stocked up on ice cream, frozen pizza, beers and Colorado pot ahead of widely anticipated Armageddinouttahere stuff
IKEA head says Iran inquiry continues
Damn Ayatollah's have returned 3 million self-assembly National Consultative Assembly speakers' chairs, apparently much too squeaky for Persian tastes
Ukraine death toll sores past 6000
Mostly from bed sores as thousands of injured left in makeshift hospital beds with no change if dressings
Startling headlines reveal that 'Garcia switches position on Obama presidential library'
WTF Grateful Dead's Jerry Garcia doing getting involved in such trashy stuff?
Robbers steal $5m in North Carolina gold heist
Cops post pics of the notorious 'Nugget Brothers' suspected of carrying out the snatch
White House Task Force Calls For Improvements In Police Shootings
So it's back to Bullett School for Bill Bratton & Co as well as compulsory eye, piss and mental health tests. What could possibly go wrong?
LAPD Skid Row Shooting Shows Importance Of Body Camera Technology
Poor tramp had a camcorder wired to his cardboard box, capture entire police assault on vid
In answer to WTF Would It Look Like If The Dowager Co*ntess Left Downton Abbey
Only partially brain-dead ITV viewers would notice, nobody else gives a flying fuck
Palace Announces Event in Netanyahu Speech Time Slot
Imperial Narcissist Barack I will speak in the Rose Garden while Israeli PM addresses Congress. Emperor's theme:"The Incredible, Marvelous Essence of ME!" Queen of Sheba Rice will enforce attendance.
Man Attacks Disabled Father With Mounted Antlers
Claims the disability is all in the head, generations of ancestors all had mounted antlers and never moaned about it
Apple Boss Says Invasion Of Privacy Is A 'Basic Human Fright''
Blames George W Bush and Tony Blair for starting the hysteria that scammed the whole world
Palace Says Prince William Will Tackle China Trade
Yeah, just what we need, another taxpayer-funded scrounger flogging cups and saucers to the foreign masses
Netanyahu heads to USA for hysteric showdown
Bookies offer odds of 5/4ON that the visit will end with massive punch up in the Fright House
Jihadi beheader Emwazi said MI5 made him feel like 'a dead man wanking'
Always suspected necrophilia his abuse of choice!
WTF 'Prince William's Japan visit rekindles memories of Diana'??
Something about that fucked-up Fukushima nuclear reactor reminding William about the ex-Princess of Wales?
Accused American sex offender minister arrested in Brazil waxing salon
Claims to be Minister for Foreign Affairs, requiring lots of de-hailing in the private quarters
FEMA finds evidence of fraud in Sandy reports
Hurricane Sandy? Or Clinton con man Sandy Berger, biggest Dem asshole since Al Gore
What do NYC feminists really, really want in a man?
Same as everybody else - a big cock, plenty of dosh and clean underpants
New York Toast says Gwynnie Paltrow is getting into the Juice game
Actress appears to be major investor in Canary Juice futures, makers of truth drug sodium Pentothal.
Google backpeddles in new porn policy, erases millions of ancient hookers from the net
'Let that be a lesson to all scrubbers over the age of 30,' CEO Larry Page says, 'including that silly tart Chelsea.'
Hosedown news as Israeli mole flushes out Assad chemical weapons cache
The dictator was storing sarin in his palace's chemical composting toilet, a birthday present from Prince Charles
Ebola-suspected student claims hospital treated her like a nutter
Suing the NYC Mammorial Hospital for putting her in straight jacket instead of taking her temperature and taking her seriously
Missing Swedish 15 year old with Ass Purgers found at Penn Station
Claims she'd been sent there to have colonic irrigation treatment for a minor stutter
Irish Shadow Prime Minister: standing up to bullies
The Irish Tanaiste ( Shadow Prime MINISTER);
We have a history of standing up to bullies, (except the IMF)
Obama signs bill to fund Homeland Insecurity
Capitol Hill braces itself for a massive FBI bust of Russian agents who have infiltrated Wall Street, Big Oil and the Krispy Kreme Co
Miami police chief busted for hooker threesome says dress overwhelmed him
Uh, make that stress. Chief Bozo's excuse still pathetic.
Madonna may have taken a deliberate ''dive''
Madonna may have been 'slipped a bung', to fall off stage. Fallsatwork.com had set up the accident, but did not reckon on the Queen of Pop reclaiming the stage
Men Killed In Red Square Bar
Two brothers have been executed in a Moscow Pub. The inebriated Rubbertitsovs were shot after singing "Putin lime in de coconut and mix it all together - Putin lime in coconut and drink it all up."
The legs have it!
HOLLYWOOD EXCLUSIVE: Harrison Ford returning for blade runner sequel if Oscar loans him his legs.
Farage detained at US Immigration
UKIP's Nigel Farage found himself detained at US Immigration
for sounding 'Unamerican and being a Smoker'.
"Mr Spock has left the building!
"Its life Jim but not as I knew it!"
All Over "God's Country," God is Posting No Trespassing Signs
God, apparently really pissed off because of pollution, has blocked entrance to "God's Country."
Star Wars In Doubt
R2D2 failed an MOT and may be scrapped as filming on Star Wars Vee One-ty One starts. Cast members reported smells emanating from the droid, whose fate may depend on sourcing a catalytic converter.
Modern Icons feel undermined
The Destruction of Icons in ancient Ninnevah, Iraq, ignores such modern icons as Lady Gaga and Delboy. The attackers didn't even consider Madame Tussauds, London, philistines
Jihadi John s**t his self
27 year old Mohammed Emwazi, from London, has been admitted to Syria's "Kill the Infidels Clinic" with uncontrollable diarrhoea, following a news bulletin in which he was uncovered as 'Jihadi John'.
Madonna blames Brit Awards trip on cloak
....or was it 'the real thing' I wonder?.....typo's rule!