Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Arsenal offer Cameron Arsene's job!
Sick of losing every year in Europe, Arsenal have offered ex UK Prime Minister, Cameron, Arsene Wenger's job because he only lost once!!
Brexit. And so it came to pass...
Brit sheeple given the illusion of democratic power as main political parties are reshuffled for hidden purposes to unfold. The NWO marches on. For the boys in the back room all is going to plan.
Britain to Leave the EEC. Duh?
But European Parliament expected to pass new legislation to ensure that it can remain in-AND-out at the same time.
Congress Sit-Down Protest over Gun Control
Democrats spit dummy and demand to be heard over gun control. The mouse roared. First time for everything. Not a squeak from any over Obama's tyrannical 'executive orders'. Paving the way for Hillary.
Clinton Adopts New Name for Trump
Tired of being called "Crooked Hillary", Hillary Clinton now calls Donald Trump "Pillow Head".
Clinton explains that Pillow Head Donald is "soft inside, fluffy outside. Just not much there."
The Freemasons Annual Parade
LONDON: This years Freemasons Annual Parade will start from the House of Commons and make its way to Fleet Street. Leading it will be George Bush, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama.
US. Democracy R.I.P
"Demockracy" rules. A Supreme Court ruling now allows police to stop people at random, check for existing warrants and then legally conduct a body search.. Has nobody heard of Brown Shirts in the USA?
BBC 'very sorry' Sir Cliff 'suffered distress'
However the corporation then pointed out that Sir Cliff has caused the whole nation to suffer for almost 60 years with his music.
Big Donation for Jo Cox Fund
J.K. Rowling has given £10 million to the Jo Cox fund. "Jo was a woman, like me. She was Labour like me. She was called "Jo", like me. And... she wrote all her own lines too,... just like me."
Farty Man Concerned With Office's Open floor Plan
A very farty man is gravely concerned with his office moving to an open floor plan and has requested that his desk at least be placed by an open window.
Microsoft To Ratchet-up Further Incentives To Upgrade To Windows 10
The new message for Windows users will read: 'We have kidnapped your family. Upgrade to Windows 10 if you wish to see them alive again.'
Supreme Court Nominee Garland Claims To Be Judy's Son
In a desperate move, Merrick Garland sang "Somewhere over the Rainbow" to 8 senators but still no confirmation.
Alleged step sister Liza won't take his calls either. "He has no talent," said Liza.
Hamilton to End Broadway Run
The runaway Broadway hit Hamilton is scheduled to close. The original cast quit after becoming instant millionaires under a profit sharing plan. No replacements were willing to learn the lyrics.
U.S. Kangaroo Population Explodes
The U.S. kangaroo population is exploding out of control. Population started in Hawaii and then in all 50 states. Experts believe cruise ships out of Australia are to blame. Report sightings here.
GOP Changes Name to GTP
The Republican Party, or GOP, for Grand Old Party, is now known as the Grand Tea Party, or GTP. Trump insists the new name is Grand Trump Party. Convention delegates will resolve the dispute in July.
Sheeple MInd Control
"To support the Gay Lobby, UK media and Google will continue to concentrate on news stories of "Innocence Under Attack" using the tragedies of Orlando and Jo Cox," said a BBC informant.
'Scientists' at the Mind Control Tavistock Inst. have announced "there is no correlation between prescription drugs, especially anti-depressants, and crime". Big Pharma "delighted with the results".
New Oscars Categories Announced.
New categories added to next year's Oscars.
Called The Orlando Oscars...:
1. Best False Flag Producer.
2. Best False Flag actor.
3. Best False Flag script writer.
4. Best False Flag choreographer.
Love Don "Little Finger" Trump.
It's a Mystery.
Brexit Has Brits Craving Breadsticks!
"I can't hear the word Brexit without getting the massive craving for breadsticks!" say most Brits, leaving many convinced that there is some sort of breadstick conspiracy behind the whole thing!
Farage pulls a pint of cats piss too many!
Thanks to Nigel Farage's dedication to boozing English cats piss the Euro Cent has dropped between the ears of other EU members! "We don't want English cats piss and we don't want those who drink it!"
"What am I tasting here?" asks man in dog kennel.
After cleaning out the dog cages, the man holding the broom became confused over an unidentifiable morsel beside the water bowel.
Putin sits on his hooligan barbed wire fence!
After observing Russian & English hooligans fighting WW3 soccer style, Putin has warned both sets of morons that if Russian win, he will give them a medal! If the English win, he'll take them back!
Caitlyn Jenner Endures First Bridal Shower, Changes Back to Male!
"I'll be brain-dead if I ever have to endure another four hours of turbo-girl-talk and inane party games again", she said.
Some Days When I Wake Up
Some days I wake up and think that God, if he does exist (and I'm pretty sure he doesn't), drank his way through a third-rate state college before getting his degree in Organizational Mismanagement.
The 4 Most Plentiful Things in the Universe
Researchers at the Mind Control Tavistock Inst. have announced the four most plentiful things in the Universe;
2. Dead planets.
4. Corny 'erotic' movies on Vimeo.
English Footy hooligans win the Brexit!!
EU headquarters have made a dramatic U-turn in their support for the UK to remain in the Community. English hooligans rioting in France have made us all see the light! Please stay on your Island!
Mel Gibson's Passion
L.A., CA: Mel Gibson to direct sequel to The Passion of the Christ. Working title is "Passion Take 2; This Time With Feeling"...
UK Travel Advice
FOR PEOPLE VISITING THE ARCTIC.
Possible dangers are...
1. Polar bears
3. Freezing to death.
4. Being there.
Brexit! The Solution!
Those who believe in Brexit please worship Nigel Farage! Not only is he a sheep in wolves clothing Nazi, he is also a total and utter Fucking Moron! Well done Nigel, Hitler would be proud of you!
Love or Weight?
"Love Or Weight?".. new entertainment show sweeping the USA. Foodies must choose between their beloved partner or a lifelong free pass to the restaurant of their choice to eat and drink all they want.
Hillary's giving refrigerator magnets to select supporters. Come in handy if you have to erase an email server quickly.
Let's all chip in and buy her a White House warming gift. I hear she needs a new email server.
North Korean Missilles Backfire and Destroys Ryugyong Hotel
North Koreans are torn between being upset and being glad the monstrosity is finally gone.
NOrth Korean Missilles Backfire and Destroys Ryugyong Hotel
North Koreans are torn between being upset and being glad the monstrosity is finally gone.
Popular Music Revealed
'Scientists' at the Mind Control Tavistock Inst. have found that pop music has only 4 main themes.
1. I fear I will lose what I got.
2. I miss what I lost.
3. I can't get what I want.
4. I need help.
Erskine Quint in "Journey to the centre of the cerebral cortex"
We finish the monumental journey of Erskine Quint, intrepid, incredible adventurer. When all is lost he is found in the year 2566 BC on top of an unfinished pyramid, where better to start THE END!
Rowling Not on Forbes List?
The Forbes List of the 100 most powerful women 2016 compiled by journos is based on "visibility and economic impact". NWO Golden Goose Rowling... not even in the 100? No visibility? No impact??????
Trump's Publicist Says Trump Will Sue Hillary
Trump's publicist, who sounds just like Trump, confirmed that Trump will sue Hillary for slander.
History of the Computer
1. First Service Provider = The Jesuit Order.
2. First Information Gathering Device = The Confessional.
3. First External Hard Drive = The Confessor.
What Made Muhammad Ali Different?
He lived under a system based on FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
Nowadays, a Muhammad Ali or a William Shakespeare would be an impossibility. Computerized Fascism rules.
African-American Spotted at Trump Rally
When Donald Trump spotted a black man at his rally, he called him a terrorist and had him ejected.
Progress in Education
USA: Pre-schools are to have free psychotherapy.
New Sex 'Identity' Available
Yes folks, by popular demand it is here "THE SUPERTRANS". Now you can be straight on Monday, Gay on Tuesday, both on Wednesday, and a baboon on Thursday. Soon available on all school curriculums.
Donald Trump: The Audacity of Dope
How Does the New World Order Work?
They give you power so that they can use you.
Political power, money power, media power, legal power etc.
THEY control the people you've been conditioned to believe are in control. They are not.
NWO Soon to Announce Victory.
The New World Order is soon to announce the achievement of its 3 aims.
(1). Evidence or the lack of it means nothing.
(2). Male is female and female is male.
(3). All sheeple are deaf, dumb and blind.
Devil Involved in 28 Paternity Suits
The Devil, aka Satan & Lucifer, has once more been named as the father in 28 new paternity suits.
North Korea Launches Missile Which Goes Wrong Way
A North Korean missile misfired into Pyongyang and blew up a Kim Pleasure Palace. Heads will roll!
Obama's New Executive Order 13605
"The law of Cause and Effect can no longer be applied to political decision making. In its place we have established The "Law of Acausal Happenstance". This will henceforth inform our foreign policy.