Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Trump Claims His Microphone Was Faulty...
...you could actually hear him.
Republicans No Longer Blame Obama for Everything Wrong With the USA
That's because they are transferring the blame to Hillary.
New England Football Manager Sacked Before Most People Realised That He Had Been Appointed
'Ol' whatshisname's been given the heave-ho,' said my next door neighbour. 'I don't know why yet, but I expect it's just another routine football corruption scandal.'
Now 8 Words you Can't say on the Radio
FCC just added the B-non-word which is bigly.
Bill Cosby Applies for Visa to Visit His Friend Roman Polanski
"It'll just be a short visit and I'll be back in time for my court appearances!" swore Cosby.
Super-hold Hair Spray Caused Trump's Sniffling During Debate
But his hair was beautiful.
Tired of Tiny Hands, Trump Will Undergo a Hand Transplant
"Once I have normal hands, I will be unstoppable and unbeatable!" trumpeted Trump.
Trump Declares Hillary Unfair for Using Facts During Debate
Trump was compelled to constantly interrupt Hillary to hide the fact that his nose kept growing.
Trump Announces His New Platform Will Be Revealed Only to a Trusted Few
"I am building a wall around my platform, and unless you pay, you don't get to see it!" said Trump.
Trump Tries to Back Out of Debate When He Finds Out About Lying Sanctions
Lying sanctions kind of destroy his whole platform.
Ted Cruz Endorsement of Trump Assures Trump of Misogynist, Insane and Homophobic Votes
Trump is hoping Scott Baio can hook him up with an endorsement from Pamela Anderson or Erin Moran.
Angelina Jolie Leaves Brad Pitt for Jeniffer Aniston
"I'm devastated!" said Brad. "I had no idea!!"
Sarah Palin and Dan Quayle to Form Vice Party
Palin and Quayle will promise to endorse anyone who will appoint them to ANYTHING.
Bill Clinton Admits He's Voting for Trump
"It's bad enough now living with her.Can you imagine how it'd be if she was President?" he admitted.
The Reason Trump Admitted Obama is American-Born
Trump's brain is full from trying to remember too many things. He has too few brain cells as it is.
BOJO's Brexit Bullshit!
Top Brit buffoon, BOJO, has now come out and told the world he did not really want Brexit and only supported Farage's exit group because he's an even bigger buffoon than BOJO! That's politics for you!
IS Revealed As Major Customer For Samsung Galaxy Note 7
'We use them on half-charged batteries until we are forced to withdraw from a town,' said an IS spokesman. 'We then leave the phones behind - plugged in and charging.'
Hillary Has Caught a Virus from Her E-Mail Accounts
The virus was tracked down and found to be from <classified>.
Trump Will Build a Wall on Mars to Keep Martians from Invading Earth
And he will make the Martians pay for the wall!
Angie Merkel busted in Berlin!
It was not quite a "Reichsbunker" meltdown, but Angie Merkel's CDU got "blitzed" by the right-radical AFD party in a local election in Berlin. Aufwiedersehen Angie, willkommen AH!
Dangerous Drinking Game Grips Nation
Countless hospitalized drinking to Trump speeches:
1 drink beer: "tremendous" "huge" "so fast, believe me"
1 drink hard alcohol: "there is something going on"
EPA Called in To US Election
Violations of the Clean Air Act and identification of a mobile brownfield site containing a "hazardous substance, pollutant, or contaminant" has kicked the agency into emergency response mode.
Trumpkins are on Their Way
As Halloween approaches the US braces itself for minions of carved pumpkins in the likeness of Donald Trump.
"Step Out of the Shower and Put Down the Toaster"
Suicide Hotlines have seen a dramatic surge in calls since polls have shown Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton to be in a tight race.
New 'Bake Off' Lineup Announced.
When 'Bake Off' hits C4 it will be presented by David and Samantha Cameron with Jamie Oliver and Tana Ramsey rounding out an all Tory line up the channel hopes will appeal to Little England.
Desperate Cosby Lawyers Play the "Race Card"
This is in spite of the fact that Cosby once told blacks to stop blaming race for their troubles.
Trump Announces He Will Pee In Cup in Front of Entire Nation to Prove He's Healthy
And Trump dares Hillary Clinton to do the same!
New Biography Out On Trump
Did you hear about the new Trump biography- titled DSM V?
Sinn Fein Northern Ireland
N.Ire. Political Party Sinn Fein (means "We Ourselves Alone") are seeking funding for Sinn Fein in the wake of the Brexit vote. Anyone that has any money please contact Sinn Fein and give it to them.
Recent Outbreak Of World War Three Remains Largely Unreported By Media
'There's no public interest,' said a media spokesman. 'It's all been rather overshadowed by the trial in the Archers and the channel swap of the Great British Bake Off.'
Working class families are "incestuous".
Middle class families are "closely knit".
Ruling class families are "firmly tied".
Clinton Apologizes For Understating Trump's Bigoted Support
Hillary Clinton today apologized for saying only 1/2 of Trump Supporters were xenophoic, Sexist, and racist. "The number, survey show, is closer to 65%" the candidate said/
Couple Unwisely Go on Boat Outing with Fighting Couple
"Don't ever get on a boat with a captain who is fighting with his wife," advises Doug Warren.
Wise words, hard learned.
Many voters relieved election over in less than 60 days...
until they realize Trump will not handle winning OR losing well
Basket of Deplorables
Now available as a bouquet from FTD Florists.
It includes the most allergy inducing flowers.
Reporter Stumps Trump
Trump is asked to accuse an opponent/enemy of something other than what Trump himself has been accused of.
Man Arrested Outside White House
WASHINGTON: A man,thought by many to be a human being, was today arrested outside the White House. Said arresting officer Chuck Braine: "No human beings allowed in here, only elected representatives."
Donald Trump Seeks Legal Advice on Moonlighting
Sources have revealed Trump has a job offer in public relations from Russian Republic President Vladimir Putin. The moonlighting job will offset his lost income from closing Trump University.
New Google Mail
The new Email is faster and more reliable than ever!
2. Credit card number.
4. Annual income.
6. Favourite authors/music/movies.
7. Blood group.
Bush's Press Secretary Shares Glory
Ari Fleischer who only today released six pages of notes that he made describing President George W. Bush's reaction to hearing of 9/11 has been nominated for the Pullitzer Prize for fiction 2017.
Blessed Virgin Appears In Ireland
Killybegs Donegal; The Virgin Mary has appeared to three schoolgirls in an orchard. She spoke to them for hours. When asked what She said, the eldest replied:
"Couldn't understand a friggin' word."
Princess Charlotte Speaks First Words
William and Kate admit they don't even know what the word "Brexit" means and fired the governess.
George H.W. Bush Joins Church of Scamatology
"They promised to make me disconnect from the rest of my family. That's what sold me!" said Bush.
Ben Carson Chastises Trump But Can't Remember What For
Carson criticized Trump for recent statements he said but stopped abruptly when his luggage came.
Cure at Last!
Atomosophobia is the fear of atomic explosions.
"Exposure to the fear is the only real cure", says the NWO Royal Psychiatric Commission on The Prevention of Sanity.
What's a Leppo?
According to Libertarian Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson, a "leppo" is a male baby leopard.
To the rest of the world, "Aleppo" is a place of major conflict in Syria.
Worse Than Cancer
A disease worse than cancer is spreading worldwide. It is called the THEORY OF EVOLUTION taught as 'fact' to our children at school on behalf of the NWO.
"A police officer was attacked in Paris yesterday with a knife. Injuries not life threatening."
FACTS: There were 573 murders in the UK in 2015 and 100,000+ cases of violent assault including rape.
The Catholic Church is to scrap the CONFIRMATION RITE whereby teenage kids are rechristened "Warriors for Christ". "Don't want Muslims to get the wrong idea," explained the Pope.
Music Industry Announcement
"We no longer require individual creative expression in music... we have our wannabes, our market researchers... and our computers. Now, all artists, please listen, get wise...fu%#Kk off!