Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Farage 'Insults' Audience At Leaders' Debate.
It's virtually impossible to insult a BBC audience most of whom wander in off the streets for a free hot soup and a slice of bread.
Express Owner Desmond Gives £1m To UKIP
Do-nothing-Dave and Little Eddie Milipeed have bowel malfunctions!
Corrie To Lay Anne Kirkbride's Deirdre To Rest
Why not bury the rest of the cast, they have been 'dead' for feckin' years.
Sturgeon Tells Little Eddie Milipeed: I Will Make You PM
"You shall go to the Ball....after you have given me yours!"
Fat Albert Disassociates Himself from Bill Cosby
Most people thought I was just a character made up by Bill Cosby, or maybe just one of his multiple personalities, but I'm real and I'm tired of Cosby telling me I have to remain fat "for my image!"
Paul Blart, Mall Cop, Asked to Join the Avengers
Paul Blart, Mall Cop, was asked to fill a hole in the Avengers due to the disappearance of Ant Man.
Daily Express owner Richard Desmond gives UKIP a million quid
Rumours are circulating that fellow media mogul Murdoch tried to give Cameron a million quid but he turned it down, so he hacked his bank account & cancelled all his direct debits & standing orders.
Dating site for cheaters looks to raise $200M in IOO
Wall Street rumor mill says Bill Clinton just appointed to the Executive Board
'Star Wars: The Farce Awakens' trailer debuts in LA
Preview show delayed by five hours as Harrison Ford crash lands his Piper Cessna at a Glendale golf course
Bill and Chirlaine De Blasio coughed up just $44K in taxes for 2014
Maybe the couple have a touch of amnesia about all those PetroEcuador dividend checks checking into their Caribbean checking accounts?
$5m book advance boosts Governor Cuomo's annual income
Must be some awesome kiss-n-tell revelations abou his divorce from Kerry Kennedy for all that filthy lucre to land in his lap
Man wins $14.7M after hand was crushed in garbage compactor
That's one hell of a way to swoop on the Powerball jackpot - and it's all tax freak
Man tossed through window by NYPD cop gets 'lousy' $120K settlement
Everyone knows the going rate starts at $100k for hurt feelings, never mind the plate glass lacerations and broken legs
Giacometti sculpture poised to sell for record $130 million
A bit over priced considering it's only a copy and at least another five are out there
City of Detroit sues 'wrong church' over $170K power bill
Now being counter-sued by the First Hellfire Tabernacle of Mysterious Saints for defamation
Woman driver blames coffee-drinking parrot for car smash
That's what happens when a caffeine-high macaw gets behind the wheel at rush hour on the beltway
Next Round of Iran Nuclear Talks Start Next Week At Secret New Location
Best bet it's either inside the defunct Chernobyl reactor or the fucked-up Fukishima plant in Japan
Judges Hear Challenge to Obama's Climate Effort Stuff
A whole lotta hot air from presidential asshole could entirely demolish Obama's slant
Pope Ends Battle With American Catholic Nuns' Group
Loses five hands of poker to the Sisters of the Immaculate Deception plus three crates of holy communion whine
Surrey farmer turns his castle into luxury pig pens!
Farmer Fiddler thought he had "hey diddled" the council by building a castle without permission and was ordered to demolish it, but being a great Fiddler, his castle is now a luxury piggy B & B!
Poll: Tories And Labour Still Neck And Neck
if only with the noose around BOTH their necks!
Supermarket Revamps Bonus Scheme For Top Managers
Every bit of staff exploitation helps!
* * * BREAKING NEWS * * *
Hillary Clinton was spotted this afternoon brushing her own hair. Video and detailed analysis available NOW on TheSpoofCableNetwork.com
* * * BREAKING NEWS * * *
Hillary Clinton was spotted this morning entering a restroom at hotel. She emerged a few minutes later. Full details tonight.
Republican Presidential Candidates Announce Their Rides After Hillary Clinton's Success In Her 'Scooby" Van
Republican candidates held a joint news conference to announce their choices in transportation, after Hillary Clinton's huge media success with her "Scooby" van.
Word Etymology #1
Early 16th century corruption of idiocy. Orig. from Gaelic idjit.
Inhumane Society wants Neiman Marcus 'faux' fur probe
Says too many damn Alsatians are going missing before ending up as fun fur stoles on the catwalk
Nokia confirms acquisition fucked-up French telecom company
Money for old rope acquistion soumds like a desperate tax saving ploy
Bill De Blasio defends his decision not to endorse Hillary
Endorsements start at $100,000 and rise thru to $500,000. No IOUs accepted.
Man standing outside Papaya Dog is stabbed in head with a Screwdriver
Such terrible luck the guy's having, last week he got hit in the chops by a Manhattan, And previously a Bloody Mary.
Psycho-killer wolverine escapes from New Jersey porn shoot
Lock your pussies, guys, she's got a taste for raw meat
Woman says she was forced to take the piss in jail cell after drinking 'Bahama Mamas'
Mock my taste in booze and see how I redecorate your jail cell walls
UN chief gives Daniel Craig special emission to eliminate mines
The project will commence after mignight, Mr Bond, so it will be a nocturnal emission
Kendall Jenner goes topless, 'soon maybe headless'
IS Jihadis reckon a spot of beheading is coming next
Uptight Israeli ultra-Orthodox Jews cut Kim Kardashian from photo
Women don't have a soil in Judaism, besides KK is an old slag in the first place
Lil Wayne's former driver accuses rapper of threatening to chill him
Dastardly stuff, LW!
'Fault in Our Stars' author's Indiana home 'is listing'
Second thoughts, make that 'is being listed'
WTF 'The evolution of Emma Watson?'
Jumped up non-entity now a hasbeen as Harry Potter movies become old hat
Kissing cab hos gobsmacked at inclusion in Clinton campaign vid
Prior arrangement with live porn streaming company throwing up all kindsa copyright issues
Hillary's father's tombstone razed to the ground
Poor sucker turning in his grave at the idea of Hillary 2016
South Carolina abduction thwarted because suspect couldn't shit sticks
Er, 'couldn't drive stick shift'
18th-century sex toy unearthed at school of swordfish
Correction! that should read 'at school of swordmanship'
Exotic dancing spoof discovered in Florida mansion
Sounds like Bargis Tryhol caught pirouetting The Nutcracker
Incontinence pad used by Pope Francis auctioned off for $30K
Vatican taking da piss with its holy relics program
Hollywood Buzz Reveals Senator Harry Reid's Next Career Move
Soon-to-be-retiring Reid is jumping into Movie Biz. Word is he's been signed to appear as an arch villain in the next Bond flick. Harry will be portraying Bond's new nemesis, Ernst Stavro Blowwank.
Socially Awkward Deduction Worried No One Will Take Her On This Year's Return
...but concerned about being seen as EZ.
Small-Breasted Cocktail Waitresses Demand Income Equality
According to the latest data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, cocktail waitresses with small breasts make 63 cents for every dollar large-breasted cocktail waitresses make.
Rand Paul Announces His Approach to Foreign Policy
Candidate Paul asserts in his Presidency US will dispense with all Foreign Policy matters, declaring: "We'll all git out to the holler 'n' brew sum Kaintuck moonshine! Daddy's nutso recipe kicks ass!"
Sheeple Mental Cowering Reaches Rome
Yesterday, a Catholic nun was gang-raped in front of the altar during a Solemn Pontifical High Mass at St. Peter's Basilica Rome... while the congregation looked on. Many took photos.
Gay penguin book banned in US!
US library and school authorities have decided to ban a book about a gay penguin couple adopting a baby! Elton John has protested and begged Penguin books to reissue the book in San Quentin!