Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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"I Learned Everything From Freddie Truman", Claims Nuneaton Horse-Throttler

"Labi Siffre's real name is Claudius Afolabe Siffre", tweeted Prince Ferdinand Georg August of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, yesterday. "Poncey twat."

written by Erskin Quint, 22 February 2017
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Tapir Infestation Threatens Glastonbury

The hot water bottle was an Etruscan invention, claimed Pontefract hot water bottle designer Colin Artifact, yesterday. "All this talk about the wooden hot water bottles of the Ancient Greeks is nonsense", he scoffed.

written by Erskin Quint, 21 February 2017
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I Was Peregrine Worsthorne's Gimp, Claims Eric Pickles

"The bottom has fallen out of the hot water bottle market", claimed Pontefract hot water bottle designer Colin Artifact yesterday. "It's never been the same since Denis Thatcher did that advert for electric blankets."

written by Erskin Quint, 21 February 2017
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Fishkettles Are The New Liberace

Osmotherley bagpipes-repairer Julian Apeclinger says: "Actually, I love Wagner, he's not as bad as he sounds. And Desmond Tutu's erotic sonnets are my absolute favourite."

written by Erskin Quint, 21 February 2017
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Flood-Damaged Larry Grayson Jigsaw Turns Up in Ethiopian Brothel

Libran librarians should avoid old haddocks, while Cancerian goat-herds can expect an encounter with mysterious dung. Thursday is not auspicious for Sagittarian balaclava-lovers.

written by Erskin Quint, 21 February 2017
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Jeremy Corbin Goes Commando

Billericay eel-strangler Gladys Stencil says: "I always think that Labi Siffre would be good with eels. Not as good as mashed potato, but good enough for me."

written by Erskin Quint, 21 February 2017
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James Corden Explodes

Prince Ferdinand Georg August of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha loves housework. "I died in 1851, but it still keeps me happy", he sang yesterday.

written by Erskin Quint, 21 February 2017
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Pagan Mythology

"Shirley Bassey was my favourite singer when I was younger", admitted Prince Andrew, yesterday.

written by Erskin Quint, 21 February 2017
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David Cassidy; who?

Ageing pop star and member of the Cuckoo, Turkey, Chicken, bla, bla Family (Now what the fuck was their name?) has admitted he has forgotten who he is, thank heavens we have too!

written by Jaggedone, 21 February 2017
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Trump Nukes Sweden

"That's what they get for trying to cover up a terrorist attack on their soil!" he thundered, while randomly pushing every red button in sight.

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 21 February 2017
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Russian billionaire hits Rock of Gibralter with his super-yacht!

Russian billionaire, Andrey Melnichenko, hit the rock of Gibralter with his super-yacht after failing to pay a paltry $16 million bill to a German company! Monkey nuts to some, Coconuts to others!

written by Jaggedone, 20 February 2017
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Trump Stops Lieing Supporters Confused

Donald Trump today held and impromptu News Conference making complete and total sense, giving intelligible complete answers. Unfortunately no news media was present and there no witnesses.

written by JinoLeFeeto, 19 February 2017
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Trump Stops Lieing Supporters Confused

Donald Trump today held and impromptu News Conference making complete and total sense, giving intelligible complete answers. Unfortunately no news media was present and there no witnesses.

written by JinoLeFeeto, 19 February 2017
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The Korea Criminal

There once was a man from Pyongyang
Who liked things to go with a bang
He pointed his warheads
At his neighbours' foreheads
And bumped off his bro' with a gang
(Of people with hankies & needles)

written by Rob Barratt, 18 February 2017
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My Friend Cayla and Chucky join dark forces!

It seems dolls aint quite what they used to be as My Friend Cayla and Chucky joined dark forces to scare the crap out of kiddies hooked on the internet! Satan has great ways of curing mobile madness!

written by Jaggedone, 18 February 2017
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Doctors Discover Cause of Trump Turning Orange

Doctors reveal that Trump's increasingly orange complexion is due to all the Golden Showers he gets.

written by Al N., 16 February 2017
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President Trump Does Press Conference After Doubling Up On Medication

White House aides say Trump was extremely agitated before taking two doses of Adderall and calming down somewhat

written by XRhonda Speaks, 16 February 2017
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Eurovision Song Contest; no more!!

The Annual Atrocity Exhibition, The Eurovision Song Contest is no more, doctors and scientists claim it is a health hazard causing vomiting, nausea, heart-attacks and high blood pressure and earache!

written by Jaggedone, 15 February 2017
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Mark Lowton Gets Married

This news just in, while actually this news is several years old. Former Spoof Editor Mark Lowton has gotten married to another human being, destroying rumors that he was actually a form of earthworm.

written by JinoLeFeeto, 14 February 2017
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Kim Jong-UN is a reincarnated Blofeld!

Bond enemy, Blofeld, + white pussy, has been reincarnated and is now Kim Jong-Un! Sean Connery reacted on his 83rd birthday and sung a U2 classic, "with or without me You're a loser and mega pants!"

written by Jaggedone, 12 February 2017
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Presidential Literature

J.F.K. gave us 'Profiles in Courage'.
Obama gave us 'The Audacity of Hope'.
Will Trump give us 'The Collected Tweets of Donald Trump' ?

written by The Ruling Authority, 12 February 2017
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2017: The Mushroom Age is Here! World Media Promise You News Yet To Happen

Today the world's media gathered, all seven elderly Caucasian men, to discuss headline news which "will happen" in 2017. The seven, representing 98.3% of the planets mainstream news' outlets..

written by WykTheWicked, 12 February 2017
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Scott Baio Lobbies for Trump Cabinet Position

"I can't wait to be like Charles in Charge and get some respect again!" spoke the former Chachi.

written by Al N., 11 February 2017
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British Government Issues Travel Ban to the U.S.

"With Trump in charge over there, we can't guarantee anyone's safety there." said the Travel Bureau.

written by Al N., 11 February 2017
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White House Tweets - 02/10/17

Democrats -- just a bunch of hippies that didn't have the decency to die by age 30.

written by W.P. Wonder, 10 February 2017
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Sean Spicer Turned Down For Anger Management Therapy

It turns out Spicer is overqualified.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 10 February 2017
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Dys-Trumpian World

I'm thinking of writing a dystopian novel loosely based on the Trump Administration. It will be called my diary.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 09 February 2017
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Trumps "OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPETY DOO" Tweet Creates Mass Hysteria

Political analysts, linguistics specialists and other world leaders are at loggerheads trying to decipher President Trumps latest tweet. Marshall Law declared in 80 countries overnight.

written by WykTheWicked, 09 February 2017
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Qatar finance minister claims slaves are just too damn expensive!

$500 million bucks a day is the price of hosting the World cup 2022 and Ali al-Emadi claims it's the slaves fault who are demanding wages; Allah forbid! Wages for slaves, never, whip the infidels!

written by Jaggedone, 08 February 2017
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Hair causes friction between US and Holland!

Geert Wilders, Dutch racist populist, claims his hair is better than Trump's bunch! Angry Trump replied, "where the fuck is Holland?" Geert replied, "I thought you studied US slave history!"

written by Jaggedone, 08 February 2017
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Fishnets or no fishnets, once a "hooker" always a "hooker!"

An Aussie pensioner has found a new "Hooker Mate" after the last one died; sadly, his new "Hooker Mate" lives 1600 miles away, but old fishers never die they just shake their worms and hook up!

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2017
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Trump, After Firing Attorney General, Says He Will Have No Trouble Finding Another

He simply looks in the Yellow Pages under "General Attorneys."

written by Al N., 06 February 2017
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RSPCA demands release of Schroedinger's cat

"let it out of that box, dead or alive"

written by Paxton Quigley, 06 February 2017
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In postgame Super Bowl interview, Trump doubles down on his '8-point' Patriots win prediction

"Sadly, the dishonest media reported that the Patriots won by 6 points. Just wait and see. The Patriots actually won by 8 points, not 6. Many people have come out and said I'm right. You know that."

written by Brandy Pasquino, 06 February 2017
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Missing Trump Inauguration Crowds Attributed to Bowling Green Massacre

It was truly a secret tragedy for the Trump Administration.

written by Al N., 05 February 2017
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Prince of Darkness empties his closet!

Rattling skeleton bones and skulls, Ozzy Osbourne has admitted he's not the Prince of Darkness! In face he's so demented he doesn't even know who Satan is and calls himself now "Prince of Pussies!"

written by Jaggedone, 05 February 2017
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2017 U.S. Women Reported to Be the Most Fit Ever!

Research shows that many women are now much more fit from all the anti-Trump & pro-women marches.

written by Al N., 05 February 2017
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Trump Goes Hunting

Donald Trump is to take a six month break from his presidency to go sasquatch hunting in the Appalachians.

written by Darwin, 04 February 2017
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Ugly yellow car causes village war in UK!

Bibury, UK, a quaint village, has become a war zone due to an ugly yellow car! The owner loves his car and called the villagers "Ugly yellow Ducklings!" His car is now drowning in the duck pond!

written by Jaggedone, 04 February 2017
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Eat Up. That's an Order

Donald Trump is opening the city's first totalitarian restaurant. It's called Your Papers Please, and features an exclusive bread and water menu.

written by Michael Balton, 04 February 2017
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Donald Trump Grabs Wife's Pussy

Suffers 14 Stitches And Bite Infection From Traumatized Feline

written by SpyDude, 03 February 2017
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Local man regularly pays $5 delivery fee for food from restaurant below his apartment

Brian Yeats lives above the NYC restaurant Food Faster Than You Can Say Food and told us that "It's amazing that food this good and delivered so fast has a delivery price tag of only $5."

written by Brandy Pasquino, 03 February 2017
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Mr. Ed The Talking Horse To Run Against Trump In 2020

... because whatthehell, anything is possible at this point.

written by SpyDude, 02 February 2017
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Bacon Butties in the US in danger of extinction!

Demand for Bacon Butties in the US has caused a near extinction of piggies! Peru offered to help by sending millions of Guinea Pigs for Bacon Butty production, but Trump is demanding 35% import tax!

written by Jaggedone, 02 February 2017
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Trump's Latest Deportation Executive Order Rids U.S. of Irrelevant Scum

His fiat rightly rids DC of delirious,brain-dead cretins, incl:C Schumer,N Pelosi,D Feinstein,B Sanders,E Warren,A Franken, R Madow, C Matthews,& all CNN fake news bozos. Republic breathes in relief.

written by Trinculoman, 02 February 2017
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Sex Lives Matter

A new movement that believes there would be a lot less killings and bad juju in the world if everyone just got laid more.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 01 February 2017
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'Kool Aid' To Be Official Beverage of White House. "Everyone's Drinking It"

Administration said to have begun process to award official designation of 'As Seen At The White House' to highest bidders. Branding to include images of Trump family, staff and cabinet members. Sad.

written by GProwler, 01 February 2017
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Trump U. to Re-open

BREAKING NEWS: Betsy DeVos Approved as Secretary of Education, Trump U. to Re-open

(A cardboard cutout of Donald Trump is expected to teach a class in for-profit schools and Ponzi schemes.)

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 31 January 2017
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Milky Boobs being controlled at European Airports!

European Airports are doing "squeeze titty controls" on women entering from the Far East without babies but with tits full of milk and a pump! Trump is demanding to control all "pussies" too!

written by Jaggedone, 31 January 2017
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Humpty Trumpty cracks it!

All the Queens horses and all the Queens men will have to put Humpty Trumpty together again after Brexit because nobody else will touch him and they have nobody else to glue!

written by Jaggedone, 31 January 2017
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