Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
The infamous congregation mistakenly installed a large anus with a breast pump attached to it, instead of a fountain. Pastor has commented, "now God hates us!" 5 Members burned themselves alive.
Hair to Trump - "You're Fired!"
After deep reflection, Donald Trump's hair has decided to part ways with the candidate most commonly known for his inappropriate comments on immigrants. According to records, his hair is Latino.
John Boehner Admits: I Am a Woman!
John Boehner today admitted what many have suspected for years, he has a vagina. "I have wanted to bring out the truth for so long said Joan through his tears, now I can cry and nave mascara run!
Grumpy Trumpy made quite a squall,
Grumpy Trumpy had a great fall.
All of Ailes' minions and all of Ailes' pundits
Couldn't put his Party together again.
Pirates' Cruise Ship Snack Attack
A motley crew of swashbuckling pirates commandeered a luxury cruise ship off the coast of Somalia and demanded 10 million dollars until the buccaneers dined in the cafeteria and died of food poisoning
Snippets on Sale Again
Okay our last sale was so popular we ran clean out of snippets. So now were going to offer a buy-back program. 100 snippets for the price of 1, that's our final offer. Don't be shy watch them fly!
F1 Women Drivers...Tut!
Dizzy blonde F1 driver Maria de Villota recalls she crashed hitting a tree. "It wasn't my fault" sha said "I beeped the horn!". Villota has since secured a job as a lollipop woman on a one way street.
It's a Shame about Shane
The anniversary of 80's TV star Paul Shane who died last year was celebrated today. Buried 80ft in the ground; the vicar asked attendees 'How Hi di hi?'. the mourners replying 'Very Low di Low'.
Bond Bound and Gagged
World famous secret agent James Bond took full responsibility for the fall of the British Empire. His ostentatious acts of sexual depravity, and indiscretions lead to the fall of Western democracies.
Chris Christi Licks Sickness
As a result of an intensive three-year psychological reconditioning program under the supervision of Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, Chris Christi is almost completely cured of his homosexual disease
Self Righteous Wing Extremism
From the summit of Mt. Appalachia with arms raised skyward in a flagrant display of pompous pride and pretentiousness, self-ordained Pope Rick Santorum decreed that he and only he is holier than thou.
US Victim of OPEC Coup
In a sneakily sinister scheme the Oil Pumping Evil Countries (OPEC) dropped the price of crude oil to two cents per barrel, then conquered the US when consumers choked to death from car exhaust fumes.
Mike Huckabee Sees God
GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee (Huckleberry Finn's illegitimate great grandson), claimed to be god almighty, swearing, "May god strike me dead if I'm lying". He hasn't been seen ever since.
New Law of Physics Discovered
Citing wrestler Hulk Hogan as evidence, renowned super genius Stephen Hawking proved that one's intellectual capacity decreases in direct proportion to increased physical strength and athletic ability
Planned Parenthood (PPH) Signs A Contract For Collection of More Parts
Due to dire demand for baby organs,PPH inked a deal with Russian Mob Czar Kingich Herodski to kill newborn babies of all Tea Party-ites. Progressive homes to be passed over by posting Barack I pics.
Man can't believe country isn't the same as 30 years ago.
"Too many foreign people. Too many gays. Too many mental health issues. We didn't have any of those when I was growing up."
Obama Kicked Out Of Kenya, Visa Rescinded
President Obama left Kenya today after its President grew exasperated with Obama's incessant harping about "gay rights" during a visit that was supposed to be about security cooperation and trade.
Pentagon "Concerned" After 300 Recruiting Stations Simultaneously Bombed
The Pentagon today said it is "looking into" the bombing of over 300 Army recruiting stations. "We are wondering what the soldiers working at these centers did to provoke the explosions."
Missouri Refugees Flood Kansas
Lawrence, KS - Over 50,000 Missourians crossed the border into Kansas, fleeing civil war and genocide in their own state.
Donald Trump took his political campaign on the offensive by hiring off-duty SWAT team members for his own personal mercenary militia to round up illegal aliens and arrest them on Trumped up charges.
Peruvian Tribe "Untouched by Civilization"
A campaign has been launched to allow the recently discovered Peruvian tribe "untouched by civilization" to REMAIN UNTOUCHED BY CIVILIZATION as all of us 'touched' by 'civilization' are FUCKED UP.
Elon Musk Buys Space Station
High tech industrialist and SpaceXXX CEO Elon Musk paid an unprecedented $47,000,000,000.00 to purchase the International Space Station and convert it into the very first interstellar whorehouse.
Big Apple - Rotten To The Core
At the behest of Rudi Juliani NY Gov. Cuomo ordered the National Guard to cordon off Manhattan and quarantine the island to keep the insanity epidemic inside the Big Asshole - oops, I meant Big Apple.
Kill Shot From Sun Hits Earth
A spectacular solar mass ejection hurled astronomical waves of thermonuclear radiation through space directly toward Earth and burned the planet into a charred cinder ball in just a matter of seconds.
New Supreme Court Ruling
In a landmark decision to settle the frivolous lawsuit of Spoof v Goof the high court ruled in favor of the defense and Justice Anton Scalia pounded the plaintiff's head into the floor with his gavel.
Fiorina Takes Over Microsoft
Carly Fiorina dropped her political plans to take the reigns of Microsoft Corporation. Her first step as CEO will be to fire everyone, sell all the stocks, and embezzle billions to buy the presidency.
Greece Returns To Power
After hitting bottom they had nowhere else to go but up so Greek officials scaled the cliffs to the summit of Mount Olympus where they convened to beseech the gods to exact vengeance on Angela Merkle.
Ted Cruz Heats Up Fossil Fuel Debate
At the end of a 3-day filibuster against new oil industry regulations, Sen. Ted Cruz made a final point by dousing himself with gasoline and catching fire, shrieking in pain while he burned to death.
McConnell's Serves New Unhappy Meal
A disgruntled employee at a McConnell's restaurant stabbed his boss to death and put the dismembered body parts through a meat grinder, then cooked and served it with a milk shake and a side of fries.
NYC Street Performance Canceled
A homeless vagrant lying in the gutter on the corner of Skid Row & Tin Pan Alley kept an audience spellbound with his entertaining antics - until the police arrested him for indecent exposure.
Stewardess Of The Month. Period.
A menstruating flight attendant suffering from jet-lag lost her mind and punctured the pilot's eardrum with her hairpin, pierced it into his brain and killed him - just in time for beverage service.
All Fiorina's Fault
A major earthquake registering 12.9 on the Richter scale struck California from the epicenter located directly beneath Carly Fiorina's bed, and it happened at the exact same time she was having sex.
UFO In Appalacia
An extraterrestrial UFO crash-landed into a river valley in a remote mountainous region of West Virginia and its crew was kidnapped and sexually abused by a local pair of perverts who died doing it.
911 Dispatch Snafu Fixed
A rogue dispatcher at the 911 Emergency Response Center in Detroit was arrested and charged with negligent homicide for demanding ransom payments from distressed callers who ran out of time and died.
Undocumented Alien Invasion
Planet Earth fell victim of a surprise attack by a hostile race of extraterrestrial invaders who seized control by force and have violently sodomized all of the world leaders repeatedly ever since.
Muckrakers Uncover Crud
A crew of New York City Department of Sanitation workers scraping festoons off the walls of the sub-terrainian sewer system found GOP candidate Rick Santorum hunkered down comfortably in a rat's nest.
Chris Christie Tours Middle East
Action Hero Chris Christie Soared through the sky near the Syrian border with Iraq and dove down into a heavily guarded ISIS compound with guns blazing and saved the day - until the coward woke up.
Clarence Thomas On Extended Vacation
Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas made a swift departure from Washington DC with a lynch mob of his fellow justices in hot pursuit. He was stalked to the banks of the Potomac River and then hanged.
Pope Francis's Solution to the World's Evil
Rome: Pope Francis addressing a massive crowd in St. Peter's Square called for all governments of the world to print and control their own money and to put an end to the evil tyranny of the banking elite.
Ex-Congresswoman Demands More Body Parts ASAP
Ex-Cong, perpetual flap-jaw, & perennial Washington gadfly Jane Harmon spouts her demands to Planned Parenthood for more'n'better parts from aborted foetuses to treat her advancing case of Alsheimers.
New Tennessee Terrorism Task Force
Following the recent terrorist attack in Chattanooga, Tennessee the governor ordered the immediate conscription of all males 18 to 80 years old in a quasi-governmental militia called the Killbillies.
Facebook loose members to new offline social media service called pub.
The new offline social media service called pub which allows friends to interact in a building and drink beer has been launched in the uk.
PM Wants 'Conversation' About Killer Seagulls
right on Dave then afterwards....if you have time perhaps we can discuss world poverty, world wars, child abuse and other petty matters!
British banned from committing suicide in switzerland.
The British will be banned from committing suicide in switzerland from May 2016, However the Swiss Government will allow the suicide of British MP's.
Google buys Venus.
Internet giants Google are reported to have bought the planet Venus for an undisclosed fee. No one was available yesterday for comment.
NASA Lift-Off A Success
The NASA Mission Control staff cheered with high fives and hugs after the successful launch of the first manned space flight into the sun where astronauts will land and extinguish the raging inferno.
Rachel Dolezal Opens Up to Therapist
"I never actually believed myself to be black", she confided. "This whole charade just seemed to be the quickest, easiest way to land a humongous dick between my thighs."
Lindsay Graham On Iraq Mission
Republican senator Lindsay Graham flew to Iraq and met with the leaders of ISIS to discuss joining their army and volunteer his services as a suicide bomber - a position for which he is well qualified
Decoy Saves Trump
A Mexican hit squad stormed into the lobby of Trump Tower and opened fire on a cardboard replica of Donald Trump while Mr. Trump hid in the janitor's closet like the sniveling coward that he truly is.
Rubio In Exile
Marco "Cholo" Rubio was apprehended in a Miami ghetto, handcuffed, beaten, and detained by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents pending his deportation right back to Cuba where he belongs.