Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Everybody in jail... except President Erdogan.
Trump Promises to Bring Back Popular "Law & Order" Series
Upset by canceling of original "L&O" Trump repeatedly promises at Convention to bring back the popular TV series at 10 pm E.S.T. day after taking office."What did you think he meant?" campaign asks.
Russian Balloonist, Fyodor Konyukhov, Sets A New World Record For Flying Non-stop Around The World
'He needed to get really high to achieve the record,' said a Russian spokesman, 'although not in the same sense as all our athletics record holders.'
Donald Trump Promises to Build a Wall Against the Zika Virus and Make It Pay for It
Three Rules for Black Men Being Burglarized
1) Call the Police
2) Go outside, lie on the ground spread eagle and wait for the Police arrive
3) When uncuffed, file a Police report.
Ground Breaking Defeat
WASHINGTON: A motion making it illegal to misinform the American public on all matters pertaining to their welfare and democratic right was unanimously defeated yesterday by 530 votes to 5.
Preparing the sheep for Virtual Reality?
Jim 'Common' Sense Barred from GOP Convention Floor
State Congressman Common Sense from Idaho was denied entry to join fellow delegates and told, "There isn't any common sense scheduled to be here" by party officials. He was told to try again in 2020.
Melania Says Speech Was A 'Cover Version ' of Michelle's
Melania Trump denied that she had plagiarized Michelle Obama '08 speech but was doing a cover version. "I think the public will remember my interpretation much,much longer. I mean really,look at me."
BOJO wins gold Olympic medal at 'Butt-licking!'
New UK Foreign Secretary, BOJO, has wasted no time in proving to the world why May chose him! He has already won a gold Olympic medal at his fav sport, Buttlicking, before the games even started!
Sheeple Mind Control
How do they work it?
That which is MOST important to them gets zero media attention.
When was the last time you heard or read about their ultimate tool of mind control.. VIRTUAL REALITY?
Michelle Obama Loved Melania's Convention Speech
"Well written and memorable," stated Mrs. Obama. "I couldn't have said it better myself!"
New Saint For Catholic Church
Assassinated President John Kennedy is to be made Patron Saint of Bankers by Pope Francis in a special ceremony in December at the Banco Ambrosiano, Rome.
Russia has developed a new super-weapon that can destroy all enemy submarines simultaneously
Code name: Jeremy Corbyn
Rear end Turkish coup on Greek Island Lesbos!
President Erdogan annexed Greek Island Lesbos in a coup d état after repelling a revolution in Turkey! Gay/Lesbian Lesbos tourists fear it is the end and will now flock to the Isle of Man Instead!
Alphabet Pasta Now Available in China
Thanks to 3-D printing technology, the Chinese are now able to produce noodles resembling every character in their writing system. Collect all four hundred cans!
New UK Referendum on The Eu?
Now that billions have been made by the NWO boys who, of course, are cleverer than YOU which is why they are rich and YOU are poor... billions more will be made by tbem by dragging her back in. Right?
The sound shit makes when it hits the fan.
Coincidence or conspiracy?
The oceans are running out of fish. That's OK. Trader Joe's is running out of tartar sauce.
In the Navy!
The Pentagon is developing a sodium free ocean. It's called Lake Michigan
Fun in the sun
They say if you hold the ocean up to your ear you can hear yourself drowning.
"You Think You Know People":(Jeremy Corbyn)
LONDON: The Labour Party is to open a Members' Social Club near Downing Street. "So that we can get to know one another... as people... if that is what we are", said betrayed leader Jeremy Corbyn.
The One Thing Burglars Don't Want You to Know.
That they are robbing your house.
Mick Jagger Won't Marry
72 year old Mick Jagger says he will not marry 29 year old pregnant girlfriend Melanie Hamrick. "I just have feeling it won't last," said he.
Journalists March In London
Thousands of writers, artists and journalists marched in London today carrying posters that read:
(1) Hands off Satire!
(2) To hell with defamation law!
(3) Bring back Monty Python and Spittin' Image!
Trump Rejects Offer to Speak to the NAACP
"Well, I lost my black friend who I used to refer to, so what would I talk about?" admitted Trump.
Labour Party Disbands
'Theresa May seems to have covered all the points we're worried about,' announced Jeremy Corbyn. 'We may as well wind up the Labour Party now - it was going to implode anyway.'
Kim Kardashian Arrested in Atlanta Airport....
...a search of her jeans uncovered 50 pounds of crack.
Farage, Cameron, Bojo!
British, Bulldog, Bullshit!
There is a Reported Rush of Republican Leaders Leaving the Country as Trump Announces He Is Looking for a Running Mate
"No one wants to be on THAT bandwagon when the inevitable crash comes" said an anonymous Republican.
Blair to Face Trial?
What'll happen to Blair if found guilty of 'illegality' (LOL) over Iraq?
(1) Lose his privy councillorship?
(2) Get Schillings to sue for defamation?
(3) Lose one of his 10 houses?
Source: Ted Cruz Is Vamipre Clone Of Sammy Davis Jr.
Trump publicist John Miller has said a source by the name of Thad Forelli will soon reveal details proving that Ted Cruz is the result of experimental vampire cloning gone bad.
Trump Defense Of Bill Cosby Raises VP Speculation
After calling The Cos disgusting and a has been, Donald Trump now says Cosby is a victim of the "dishonest media and money hungry lawyers."
New UPS Driver Can't Find The White House
Other drivers have also failed to find 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue after stories of aggressive background checks and body cavity searches by the Secret Service.
Guilty! Tomato Plant Violates Couples' Personal Space.
A judge issued the maximum sentence for a tomato plant accused of repeatedly encroaching upon and violating an elderly couples' space at their residential home garden. The plant was still not ripe.
Blair Radio Interview
Well...I....I...I... thought that I...I...well Syria?
Should we? I...I...I really don't think that I... I...I could have... I mean if I...I...had thought...I... that I...I...I...I... I mean... I...
Common Sense about The Iraqi War and the NWO
How can you invade a country, kill 1,000,000 of its people, drive out 5,000,000 more and plunge it forever into civil chaos... in the name of 'democracy' that you know not of? Who gave you that job?
"False Intelligence" Spreads to the BBC
Who claim that "150,000 people were killed during and after the Iraqi invasion". Try a MILLION+! But what are 850,000 fatalities between friends? Dat bad ole 'false intelligence' again.
Science: Trump's Shit Does Stink!
Scientific study reveals that Donald Trump's feces contains the same rank scent as all other members of the human race. Suggests extreme constipation as reason for bad breath.
Shot in the dark; NRA Friendlyfires
Amidst gun safety debate, NRA accidentally unloaded almost 600 rounds, injuring their pride. The gun later apologized saying it mistook the organization for a quail.
The Chilcot Whitewash
The Chilcot Iraq inquiry team are... Sir Roderick Lyne, Sir Lawrence Freedman, Sir Martin Gilbert ,Baroness Prashar, Sir John Chilcot... all hand picked by Blair's buddy 33% Mason Gordon Brown. Yo ho.
British Military 'Intelligence' after centuries of invading and pillaging some 80 foreign countries had "no idea" of the consequences of invading Iraq (Blair).
Blair Receives Bush Support
During his recent press roast concerning his war career Tony Blair received a telegram from George W. Bush. "Just to let you know Tony, I am behind you all the way... far, far behind you."
I'm Just Wild about Juno!
Thousands of poor, homeless and dispossessed right across America have taken to the streets in wild celebration of space probe Juno's arrival at large planet called Jupiter.
Trump not to press charges against the boy who tried to shoot him and has appealed for clemency. The White House now inevitable.
MI5 Career Move
EX-MK Ultra mind controller and MI5 agent Angus McClintock is to launch pop career with remake of "Me and My Shadow". Rumoured knighthood in the offing for what is destined to be a meteoric career.
Sears and K-Mart To Merge With Dollar Tree
Tired of being unsuccessful, K-Mart and Sears will merge with the very successful Dollar Tree chain.
House of Commons
How would you completely dismantle the UK government at one stroke?
Simple. Call a referendum on the EEC.
The National Reading Championship
The years UK National Reading Championship was won by 19-year-old Samuel McNutt who read aloud two whole pages of "The Tale of Peter Rabbit" without stopping.
NRA Gets Congress to Change Constitution to Include Assault Rifles
We just want to affirm every American's God-given right to own an assault rifle! said the NRA rep.