Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Obama's New Executive Order 13605
"The law of Cause and Effect can no longer be applied to political decision making. In its place we have established The "Law of Acausal Happenstance". This will henceforth inform our foreign policy.
Donald Trump Interrupts Orgy
What an utter bastord.
Republicans Claim Oil is the Cleanest Fuel
That is, unless the solar or the wind people want to step up with some campaign contributions!
"The Screecher"...Coming to a Lawn Near You
"The Screecher", the loudest lawnmower yet, has arrived. Is a typhoon? Is it a low flying bomber? A crew drilling for oil? No! It is the idiot next door doing his lawn. And he won't go to jail either!
Who ARE The "Illuminati"?
Any nutter who believes that he/she has a God-given right to work on people's minds and lives for their own purposes. Politicians, bankers, scientists, media dudes etc. They like to hang out together.
Children's Mental Health Crisis.
UK: Government says;"We are spending too much money on children's mental health."
True. Psychosis, anorexia, gender confusion, depression,.. escalating.
Suggestion: Why don't we stop driving them MAD?
First Robotic Homicide
Tokyo: An elderly businessman has been strangled by his housekeeper Robot. ""Matilda" simpry malfunction," explained the maker. "We not know why. Mr. Maki should have asked for character reference."
'Cosby' now a verb in dictionary
Webster's Dictionary has announced that the word 'Cosby' is now recognized as a verb. Example: I met a chick at a bar last night and Cosbied her; she had no idea the next day.
Suicide Bombers and Alkies
Psychiatrists at the Mind Control Tavistock Institute, London have found close link between suicide bombers and alcoholics. For both, DEATH is the most important thing in life.
Obama in Hiroshima
Mr. President saying all the 'right' things.
"Death fell from the sky.", said he.
Never rains but it pours, eh?
Drug Athletes Protest
23 athletes who tested positive for drugs in London's 2012 Olympics have called for the House of Commons to be drug tested regularly. "No competitive sport should be exempt", said their spokesman.
Trump Studying Scamatology to Learn Brainwashing Techniques
Trump learned well and ended up converting the Scamatology org into a Trump campaign headquarters.
New Oscars Category
For the 2017 Hollywood Oscars, there will be a new category..."THE BEST MOVIE CLIP OF ALL TIME".
Nominations from "Casablanca", "High Noon" etc are in; but hot fav is Bond being chipped in Spectre.
Gender Bending Marches On
The gender-bending agenda underpinning the NWO's drive for total sheeple mind control has taken a deadly turn. All US college students must now wear the same uniform... a short skirt over long pants.
Breaking Ironic News: Man uses internet to complain about sleaze on TV
Trump Gives New Meaning to the Phrase "Trumped Up"
It used to mean exaggerated, now it means totally fabricated, totally made up.
A Day in the Life of Arthur Lemming
Arthur Lemming woke to a sound that sounded like a car was crashing through his window.
The chief of police looked down at the body under the car and said "Damn."
Special One replaces Senile One!
Man United have at last replaced The Senile One with a Special One! In fact this was the best unkept secret in this history of modern footy because Man City fans became suicidal many months before!
Cameron Warns That Withdrawal From Europe Will Invoke The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse
A Britex campaign spokesman has accused the Prime Minister of making ridiculous, exaggerated claims to obscure the certainty that staying in Europe will cause Britain to sink beneath the North Sea.
Bill Cosby Explains That Fat Albert is Actually a Separate, Evil Personality
"So the person you want for all these accusations is really Evil Fat Albert," explained Cosby.
"Bond... James Bond... but you can call me "Sheila"".
As part of the general "gender confusion" aimed at the young and being vigorously promoted at every level by the NWO's 'Gay' lobby the next James Bond will be a bi-sexual transvestite.
Soldiers Given Anti-Malaria Drugs
UK:Anti-Malaria drug LARIAM given to soldiers produces panic attacks, hallucinations and mental impairment. Ministers suggest it be given to troops BEFORE they are sent abroad, not afterwards.
Don't Mess With Texas?
After a springtime full of heavy flooding and tornados, Texas is changing its famously assholeish state moto from 'Don't Mess With Texas!' to 'Texas Is A Mess, Don't Bother Coming!"
Ted Cruz to Run as Whig Candidate
Told the Whig Party hadn't existed for over 100 years, Cruz replied, "That's why it's so perfect!"
Jeff Koon's Controversial 'Piece'
A show of Jeff Koons' work now in London boasts a giant sculpture of his own pooh. Critics say:
(3). "Very DuChamp".
(4). "Speaks volumes".
(5). "A load of shite".
Barack Obama To Be Crowned Emperor
Obama is to be crowned First Emperor of the New World Order at a special ceremony conducted by Pope Francis at the Vatican Basilica this August 4th, his birthday.
If Elected, Trump Promises A Free Bottle of Trump Vodka to Every Family in Flint
"This is the best solution to the Flint Water Crisis! Trump's publicist John Miller told the press.
Trump Ponders Choice of Running MILF
"Sierra Paylin or Anne Colter. They both have big boobs, and both make me look rather sane by comparison. How to choose, how to choose..."
Obama's New Executive Order 13604
Congress is no longer empowered to pass laws.
Amazon Books Asks to Have Amazon River Name Changed
The Amazon lawyers claim the river is infringing on their trademark.
Ted Danson Announces Retirement
He will only appear in five different TV series next season.
Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks Donald Trump
We managed to speak to Mr Trump, and he said 'Ouch.'
Ego Mania at its Best
The only person smarter than "Bill Clinton" is 'Bill Clinton'.
Jim Carrey Called a Schizophrenic
When asked whether this was true, he said it was not, then suddenly started to have a conversation with himself.
Ben Carson Has Joined MySpace in Order to Impress Trump With How Hip He Is
"I know Donald wants his Vice-President to be able to relate to the kids also," said Carson.
How Not To Die
2. Don't have a heart attack
3. Don't get sexually active with Donald Trump
Secret of Rapid Ageing Revealed.
LONDON: Scientists at the Tavistock Inst. have discovered that "rapid ageing" is directly caused by being timed while getting old.
Woman Thought to Have Been Dead is Found.
lONDON. A Woman thought to have been dead for over fifty years was yesterday discovered by her husband.
"I woke up... and there she was... lying beside me," said he."
"Look at the size of the fu##k'in teeth on that bastard!"
Last words of an English tourist 'taken' by a Great White while fishing off the coast of Tasmania.
TRUMP the next President.
How do we know?
The Media tells Americans what to think.
All of them?
Most of them.
Never too old!
When I was a young man and the entire world lay before me, I dreamt of having BMW's.
Now....I am an old man.
I have BFW's.....burps, farts and wheezes.
Scientific Discovery of the Century
Scientists have just found that Micheal Jackson, Bruce Lee and Jesus are all currently on a spiritual journey in Chuck Norris' beard.
The End is Nigh
I keep thinking it's Tuesday.
Breaking News Flash
Dial 555-0100 for a free steak!
Hitler's Legacy Lives On
Before we get to the article, we would like to thank MacDonaldTrumps and their tasty Trump burger for their cash.
Film at 10 o'clock
I am currently wearing rubber nipples, whilst riding a donkey, on top of a sopranos singer. Film at 10 o'clock.
When is a Duck NOT a Duck?
"If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck..."... it may not be a duck. It may be a hawk pretending to be a duck.
"Conspiracy Theory" Gone
The phrase "conspiracy theory" is to be replaced in the media by "STRATEGY THEORY" because the former implies malevolence whereas targets of "strategies" are simply unlucky... and cannot be 'victims'.
Ronald McDonald Not Ready To Support Trump
"He's still a few fries short of a Happy Meal," said the beloved McDonald's Spokesclown.
Final Blame For Man U Bomb Lies With Fido The Sniffer Dog Says Firm Who Planted Fake Device
'Fido the sniffer dog failed to find the fake bomb,' said a spokesman for the firm that planted the device. 'It was all his fault, and the animal has been put down as a warning to the other dogs.'