Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Obama Calls Secret Service On Sheet-Clad Trick-or-Treaters

Obama, not aware of its being Halloween, called the Secret Service on some sheet-clad ghost trick-or-treaters. "I was afraid they were going to burn a cross on the lawn," spoke a terrorized Obama.

written by Al N., 31 October 2014
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VP Biden Diagnosed With Quarantine-Mandatory Disease

Rochester, MN-VP "Loony Joe" Biden was diagnosed here as having the disease E-BUSHWAHH here by Mayo Clinic specialists. The immediate reaction from the White House was to order permanent quarantine.

written by Trinculoman, 31 October 2014
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North Korea To Start Using Toilet Tissue For Currency

As North Koreans begin using toilet paper as hard currency, the old currency, 1950s U.S. trading stamps, are being quickly phased out and will be used as wallpaper in one of Kim Jong Un's palaces.

written by Al N., 31 October 2014
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Plans Unveiled For £97m Supercomputer To Boost Met Office Computing Capacity By 13 Times

'We will still have no bloody idea,' confirmed a Met office expert, 'what tomorrow's weather will be in southern Hampshire.'

written by Swan Morrison, 28 October 2014
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Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'

written by Swan Morrison, 28 October 2014
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Camilla Parker-Bowles Wins Kentucky Derby

Prince Charles was overjoyed when he announced to the press that his consort, Camilla Parker-Bowles, had just won the Kentucky Derby and would be entering the Preakness next.

written by Al N., 28 October 2014
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Mixed -Peel Fraud

An underground gang dealing in illegal Christmas Pudding Ingredients are eluding Police. Their 80 Year Old Leader, 'Doris the Scar', is described as 'lethal' and vicious, by the London Met

written by Ella Davide, 25 October 2014
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Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.

written by Al N., 24 October 2014
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'Yellow is the new pink', says colour blind Fashionista

Open hunting season declared on flamingoes

written by Ella Davide, 24 October 2014
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Sweden Abandons Search For Russian Submarine

'We won this round,' said Russian President, Vladimir Putin. 'Now Sweden must hide a sub in Russian territorial waters. We are already covering our eyes and counting.'

written by Swan Morrison, 24 October 2014
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New reality show to air soon

'Strictly Come Farming' will show the sexy side of silage!

written by Ella Davide, 23 October 2014
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WHO finding shows keeping fit bad for health

Sweat reacting with latex can cause spontaneous combustion

written by Ella Davide, 23 October 2014
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Justin Bieber and North Korean Leader On Same Fantasy Basketball Site

Pop star Justin Bieber and North Korean despot Kim Jong Un are both on the same fantasy basketball website, battling it out in cyberspace over the comic collection Kim says Justin ripped him off on.

written by Al N., 22 October 2014
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North Koreans Line Up For Chance to Be Infected With Ebola Virus

The certain death that infection by the Ebola Virus causes was irresistible to the North Koreans.

written by Al N., 22 October 2014
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John Revolting Objects to Calling Latest Scamatology Event a Gala

"I think saying gay and then la gives people the wrong idea!" said Revolting. "Me too!" said T.C.

written by Al N., 22 October 2014
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Miley Cyrus Cancels Strip Mall Tour When She Finds Out There is No Stripping

Miley assauged her disappointment by walking around Sunset Strip naked.

written by Al N., 22 October 2014
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Fox News Substitutes Trained Chimp for Bill O'Reilly-Few Notice!

But in Bill O'Reilly's defense, it must be stated that the chimp was VERY good.

written by Al N., 22 October 2014
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Health

Hospital cleaning staff spotted cleaning something, sadly it wasn't their hands

written by Ella Davide, 21 October 2014
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Health

A&E Patient gets biscuit with cup of tea in new government NHS spending

written by Ella Davide, 21 October 2014
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Budget airlines to pay staff 'rudeness' bonus

Penny-pinching customers not phased

written by Ella Davide, 21 October 2014
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Santa's Elf shops reindeer

A disgruntled Elf has revealed his harassment by Top Reindeer at Lapland GCHQ. The reindeer execs concerned, sent the Elf antler-based Instagrams and derided his pronunciation of the name : 'Prancer'

written by Ella Davide, 21 October 2014
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Oscar walks......

...well, almost!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 21 October 2014
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Investigation Discovery Air Show Where Spouse Doesn't Kill Unsuspecting Partner

Investigation Discovery(ID) TV station fooled and angered many of their fans when they aired a show where there was a married couple and neither person killed the other.
"This is weird!" said a fan.

written by Al N., 21 October 2014
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Everybody Pretends Not to Know Tom Cruise

Former star Tom Cruise, who gets booed when viewed on JumboTron, was totally ignored when he walked around the most recent Scamatology meeting wearing a large gold plate he said was a cult medal.

written by Al N., 21 October 2014
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Business

IMF Heads don't trust banks : 'I keep my cash under the mattress', says Christine Lagarde

written by Ella Davide, 20 October 2014
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Business

IMF Whistleblower reveals Tooth Fairy Accounts Audit

written by Ella Davide, 19 October 2014
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

written by Auntie Matter, 19 October 2014
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Xander Harris arrested in Boise, ID

Self-described "vampire slayer wannabe" Xander Harris was arrested in a Boise hotel lobby for trying to "stake" guests while babbling "incoherently" about someone named Buffy who, "told me to do it."

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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Jennifer Aniston: "I was up to the job"

Before she became famous as the Girl Next Door Who Is Most Likely To, actress Jennifer Aniston earned her living servicing johns. "The porcelain ones," she clarified, "not the horny kind."

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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Democratic National Committee chair predicts "landslide victory"

DNC chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz predicts a "landslide victory" in next month's midterm elections. "The Republicans are going to win big time!" she said.

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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Police baffled by mysterious find

Police searching for a missing woman found the remains of a human female that closely resemble her. Mystified, the head of the Missing Persons Bureau admits, "Now, we don't know what to do."

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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Cruise ship Ebola free--this time

A health worker who potentially put the 4,000 passengers aboard a Carousel Cruise Lines ship at risk for Ebola tested negative. "Next time," she said, "I will try harder."

written by Gee Pee, 19 October 2014
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European Tectonic Plates

The Massif Central Mountain Range of France is eroding at a rate of 190% per month. The National Geographic Society says this is probably a factual error, but don't really care.

written by Ella Davide, 18 October 2014
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Science and Nutrition

Eggs are extremely bad for you , no they aren't , Oh Yes ,they are , after all , says expert

written by Ella Davide, 17 October 2014
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Not True That the Vice President's Son Was Kicked Out of Navy

Hunter Biden, Vice-President Joe Biden's youngest son, was not dishonorably discharged from the Navy due to taking cocaine. It was because he quit because of the low quality of the drugs, said Biden.

written by Al N., 17 October 2014
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Catholic Archbishop Smith Of Southwark Commissions Investigation Into Former Head Of The Arundel And Brighton Diocese

'Bishop Kieran Conry has admitted to a legal, heterosexual relationship with a consenting adult woman,' said Archbishop Peter Smith. 'We see this as a huge leap forward for the Catholic Church.'

written by Swan Morrison, 17 October 2014
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Obummer's latest Ebola "protocol"

Reacting to criticism of his administration's handling of the Ebola crisis, Obummer has announced plans to dispatch "swat teams" armed with flyswatters to combat the disease wherever it next appears.

written by Gee Pee, 16 October 2014
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Bill Murray to Do a Sequel to Groundhog Day: Bill Murray to Do a Sequel to Groundhog Day

Bill Murray has announced that he will do a sequel to Groundhog's Day. Bill Murray has announced that he will do a sequel to Groundhog's Day.

written by Al N., 15 October 2014
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Runaway teens want to come home after joining ISIS

Two Austrian teenage girls who left home to join ISIS want to return home. "Beheading people isn't as fun as we thought it would be," one whined. "It's messy," the other agreed, "and sort of gross."

written by Gee Pee, 14 October 2014
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Martha Stewart on Gweneth Paltrow's need to change lifestyle brand name

After visiting Gweneth Paltrow's lifestyle advice blog, Goop, Martha Stewart advised her would-be competitor to rename it. "A more fitting title," Stewart fumed, "would be Poop."

written by Gee Pee, 14 October 2014
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Obama Importing Deadly Communicable Diseases

BREAKING NEWS! President Obama has decided to import deadly communicable diseases for the purpose of population control.

written by Cal Jennings, 14 October 2014
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Leaders react to plan for Election debate.

Little Ed Milipeed has shite himself..again.
Clegghorn-Foghorn has booked three weeks in the Sychelles.
Do-nothing-Dave has placed an order with Pampers.
Nasty Nigel ordered 24 crates of real ale!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 13 October 2014
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Colony of venomous spiders 'drives NYC first family from home'

No wonder Bill de Blasio's family moved to the official mayoral residency, Gracie Mansion, pity the poor tenants now living in his infested Park Slope house

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Coast Guard checking JFK for Ebola

Fears the dead president's coffin is leeching the virus a big concer say Feds

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Top admin tangled in Catholic school sex scandal stripped of athletic duties

No more playing Blind Man's Buff in the showers with the girls

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Putin ready to break out the blow torch and rave

Next month's freebasing and crack cocaine party at the Kremlin will his first since rehab

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Susan Sarandon breaks silence on 18 year-old boyfriend

He has the most advanced lingual muscles - uh, skills! - I've ever encountered the 69 year-old scraggy couger said today

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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Bianca Jagger launches new online charity auction

Pics show she's flogging off loads of dreary old tat to fund her flagging human frights foundation.

written by queen mudder, 12 October 2014
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UKIP Celebrates Another Constiuency Victory

Glastonbury- Nigel Farrage touted the victory for UKIP here. Newly elected MP Arthur Pendragon CBE will represent this constituency in the battle against the cozy cartel of elite front benchers.

written by Trinculoman, 11 October 2014
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Gweneth Paltrow orgasms upon meeting Obummer

At a fund raiser, "actress" Gweneth Paltrow told President Obummer, "You're so handsome; I wish I were 162 million people, so my love for you could offset your negative ratings among other Americans!"

written by Gee Pee, 10 October 2014
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