Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Irish Shadow Prime Minister: standing up to bullies

The Irish Tanaiste ( Shadow Prime MINISTER);
We have a history of standing up to bullies, (except the IMF)

written by Ella Davide, 28 February 2015
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Obama signs bill to fund Homeland Insecurity

Capitol Hill braces itself for a massive FBI bust of Russian agents who have infiltrated Wall Street, Big Oil and the Krispy Kreme Co

written by queen mudder, 28 February 2015
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Miami police chief busted for hooker threesome says dress overwhelmed him

Uh, make that stress. Chief Bozo's excuse still pathetic.

written by queen mudder, 28 February 2015
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Madonna may have taken a deliberate ''dive''

Madonna may have been 'slipped a bung', to fall off stage. Fallsatwork.com had set up the accident, but did not reckon on the Queen of Pop reclaiming the stage

written by Ella Davide, 28 February 2015
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Men Killed In Red Square Bar

Two brothers have been executed in a Moscow Pub. The inebriated Rubbertitsovs were shot after singing "Putin lime in de coconut and mix it all together - Putin lime in coconut and drink it all up."

written by antoine, 28 February 2015
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The legs have it!

HOLLYWOOD EXCLUSIVE: Harrison Ford returning for blade runner sequel if Oscar loans him his legs.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 28 February 2015
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Farage detained at US Immigration

UKIP's Nigel Farage found himself detained at US Immigration

for sounding 'Unamerican and being a Smoker'.

written by Ella Davide, 27 February 2015
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"Mr Spock has left the building!

"Its life Jim but not as I knew it!"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 27 February 2015
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All Over "God's Country," God is Posting No Trespassing Signs

God, apparently really pissed off because of pollution, has blocked entrance to "God's Country."

written by Al N., 27 February 2015
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Star Wars In Doubt

R2D2 failed an MOT and may be scrapped as filming on Star Wars Vee One-ty One starts. Cast members reported smells emanating from the droid, whose fate may depend on sourcing a catalytic converter.

written by antoine, 26 February 2015
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Modern Icons feel undermined

The Destruction of Icons in ancient Ninnevah, Iraq, ignores such modern icons as Lady Gaga and Delboy. The attackers didn't even consider Madame Tussauds, London, philistines

written by Ella Davide, 26 February 2015
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Jihadi John s**t his self

27 year old Mohammed Emwazi, from London, has been admitted to Syria's "Kill the Infidels Clinic" with uncontrollable diarrhoea, following a news bulletin in which he was uncovered as 'Jihadi John'.

written by antoine, 26 February 2015
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Madonna blames Brit Awards trip on cloak

....or was it 'the real thing' I wonder?.....typo's rule!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 26 February 2015
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Ancient Hercules statue returning to Italy 2,500 years after theft

Damn Etruscan thieves sentenced to 12 months community service after pleading guilty to smash and grab

written by queen mudder, 25 February 2015
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Counter-Terror official charged with soliciting sex from a miner...

...forty-inner and his daughter Clementine

written by queen mudder, 25 February 2015
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Iran's Revolutionary Guard attacks a rocky outcrop in Shatt Al-Arab

The Ayatollah's special forces blew up and destroyed the twin rock mounds after Saudis mocked them for looking like 'The Shah of Persia's Tits'

written by queen mudder, 25 February 2015
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Miracle baby born fully encased in giant squid

Doctors blame OctoMom for putting ideas into the beastie

written by queen mudder, 25 February 2015
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Chile fisherman's close encounter with giant sperm

Exchanging bodily fluids with a seven footer sure ain't easy ... unless you learn to be very flexible

written by queen mudder, 25 February 2015
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Revenge photographer wants wife scrubbed from the web

Dirty pics of the filthy little slut bringing his business into disrepute

written by queen mudder, 25 February 2015
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Ukippers uphold Free Speech

As long as it's not in a Foreign Language

written by Ella Davide, 25 February 2015
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President Obama directs Defense Secretary to make US Military all transgender force

The Obama administration has sent signals in recent days that it is moving toward a decision to mandate an all-transgender military.

written by Moose, 25 February 2015
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St Trinians girls head for Syria

......ISIS surrender!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 25 February 2015
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Jesus! Free Toast !

Two slices of bread have been toasted in Belfast by Anne Tone, which do NOT contain the face of Jesus or anyone famous - however - the crust of one could be easily mistaken for Romilly Week's jaw.

written by antoine, 25 February 2015
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Emperor Rejects Keystone Pipeline Due to State Security Concerns

Barack I rejected the proposed pipeline from Canada. Anonymous insiders revealed the Emperor fears for a mass incursion of Loonie Cooties from UP-NORTH,using pipe as access,burping "Ehs" as they come.

written by Trinculoman, 25 February 2015
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Exploding Moscow blowholes raise fears of deadly gas exposure

Fears that massive methane outburst from Vlad Putin's private quarters may be to blame

written by queen mudder, 24 February 2015
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'Fifty Bales Of Hay'

Set on a Dorset Farm, erotica has never looked duller, with hay-saving, cable - wire, drizzle...and a dominant sheep...

written by Ella Davide, 24 February 2015
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Obama Vetoes XL Pipeline Claims: "Marijuana legalization has provided the US with plenty of new pipes."

XL pipeline earns veto: "Colorado, Washington and Alaska have paved the way, we have no need for a new pipeline, marijuana legalization has provided the US with plenty of new pipes."

written by Joquhn, 24 February 2015
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Nutella burns!!!

After causing a fire in Twickenham Nutella pots are now to be issued with a fire warning!!
Other glass pots not until they cause a fire too!

written by Jaggedone, 24 February 2015
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Sir Malcolm Rifkind Resigns As Chairman Of Parliament's Intelligence and Security Committee

The former Foreign Secretary resigns as chairman of Parliament's Intelligence and Security Committee after showing little intelligence and even less security in his dealings with undercover reporters.

written by Swan Morrison, 24 February 2015
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The 2022 Qatar World Cup Rescheduled For November And December To Avoid Health Risks Of 40 Degree Temperatures

'It's just lucky that we spotted those temperature statistics in time,' said a relieved Fifa vice-president, Jim Boyce.

written by Swan Morrison, 24 February 2015
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Pensioners Launch Campaign To Dissuade Young People From Voting

'The Government are throwing money at us because they know that we all vote,' said a typical older citizen. 'If the young'uns show any interest in voting, then we'll have to share the loot with them.'

written by Swan Morrison, 24 February 2015
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French Police Study Video Of HSBC Directors

The video shows a gang of HSBC directors pushing a low income saver from a Paris metro train while chanting: 'We only help the rich to evade tax, and that's the way we like it.'

written by Swan Morrison, 24 February 2015
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HSBC pleads 'shame' over Swiss tax scams

Blames Brits' Queen Elizardbirth for putting them up to it in the first place

written by queen mudder, 23 February 2015
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Husband claims wife is holding him 'prisoner' in their Hamptons teardown

Wife says he's locked himself in a makeshift crack den with Mexican gardener and his twin brother

written by queen mudder, 23 February 2015
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Hustler Club exotic dancers 'being stripped' of minimum wage

Everyone knows downtown rates are fifty bucks for ten minutes - same as a handjob in Hells Kitchen

written by queen mudder, 23 February 2015
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Ronald Reagan's 'fake' friend wants 'fraud' plea deal

Says The Gipper was every inch the professional con artist and would have been proud of this latest twist

written by queen mudder, 23 February 2015
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Landlord sues councilwoman for having him arrested over 'rented beef'

Says nothing criminal with leased-back rib-eye!

written by queen mudder, 23 February 2015
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NY-bound jet forced to make emergency landing with crappy sunscreen

Correction! Uh, 'cracked windscreen' maybe better?

written by queen mudder, 23 February 2015
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Al Sharpton paid to keep his mouth shut about lack of black TV programming suit

Always having to wear a lime green tuxedo or pale grey pinstripe three-piece suit kinda harsh on the guy I reckon

written by queen mudder, 23 February 2015
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Hand-mixer News: ISIS' English-language schools teaching jihadi children how to blend

More dumb recipies from The Taleban Cookbook

written by queen mudder, 23 February 2015
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John Travolta Shows Off Scientology Face-Touching Super Powers At 2015 Oscars

John Travolta, who at last year's Oscars showed that Scientology super-powers didn't extend to name pronunciation, DID reveal his face touching power, which causes instant revulsion to the victim.

written by Al N., 23 February 2015
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Burnt to a crisp like Jordan!

Sunbed after sunbed, beach after beach, white turning brown and red attempting to look like Jordan! Is it worth it? Ask your oncologist!

written by Jaggedone, 23 February 2015
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Thief Lectures Court

Thief Malcolm Riffkid told a Court in Barnsley today that if he was paid more he wouldn't have to steal.

written by j.w., 23 February 2015
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Balls tears a new a**hole

Ed Balls really tore George Osborne a new one today in parliament, over HSBC. Balls jiggled around before giving Mr Osborne everything he had. George was covered in embarrassment by home time.

written by antoine, 23 February 2015
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BBC apologises for spate of self blinding among pubescent boys

After an expose of a trial NHS programme where blind people feel for growths in breast tissue, the BBC apologised to the many families whose sons blinded themselves in order to get on 'feeler teams'.

written by antoine, 23 February 2015
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Oscars are rubbish

2015 Oscars - 'Full of crap' says BBC's Mark Cammode, ironically.

written by antoine, 23 February 2015
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Putin admits failings

Vladimir Putin has admitted he's jealous;of Naomi Campbell.
"Her lips are to die for, while mines are like Kermit the frog - I have none. But I will have those lips.. believe me...muwahaaha. I will."

written by antoine, 23 February 2015
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Cash for access denial

A press release issued from head office of the company -"Rifkind&Straw Cash for Access Ltd" owned by two former government ministers has denied all knowledge of so-called cash for access allegations.

written by antoine, 23 February 2015
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Is the answer 'skeletons'??

Yes if the question is 'What's inside the closets of the Oscars' Best Actress nominees?'

written by queen mudder, 22 February 2015
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Absolutely No Rickshaws as Astronauts install International Space Station parking bays for space taxis

I mean, what kind of place do you think this is?

written by queen mudder, 22 February 2015
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