Funny story: Progressives' Shopper Mart - The Premier E-tailing Site for Fully Enlightened Ideologues

Progressives' Shopper Mart - The Premier E-tailing Site for Fully Enlightened Ideologues

Here are some of the most desired items for those of you in elite political cliques who know who you are and espouse only the most enlightened ideas of utopian thought. Shop today and impress your friends at the next exclusive cocktail party! These...
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'We kicked Donziger's ass good and proper' Chevron tells shareholders meeting

Midland, Texas - The world famous Rogues Gallery at Midland's Permain Basin Petroleum Museum got a horrible new addition this week as racketeering New York lawyer Steven Donziger was finally inducted into its corruption rankings. Acclaimed by the...
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Sen. Sherrod Brown charged with conflict of interest

WHAT'S THE BEEF, OH -- Elected to represent the not-so-great state of Ohio, U. S. Senator Sherrod Brown (a Democrat, of course) has been charged with a conflict of interest. Apparently, while supposedly representing Ohio, the politician is also re...
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Funny story: CNN Desperately Looking for New Big Story

CNN Desperately Looking for New Big Story

Rival news station CNN, otherwise known as the Cable News Network, has just announced it is actively searching for a new Story of Maximum Importance. What's that? Well, in recent years, CNN's preferred broadcast technique is choosing just one piec...
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Funny story: Jackson's Neverland estate a $100m fracking teardown

Jackson's Neverland estate a $100m fracking teardown

Los Olivos, California - Executors marketing Michael Jackson's estate have received a $100m bid for Neverland from reclusive Colorado Springs entrepreneur 'Mr F Racking'. Described by Forbes That's Rich! list as a self-made mover 'n' shaker Racki...
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Fast-food customers safe "for now"

DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...
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Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

A Fox & Friends segment on Monday warned women looking to succeed in business "not to raise their voices" and not to talk too much. Fox News host Steve Doocy introduced Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence." She suggested that w...
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Funny story: Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

BUG TUSSLE, AK -- Despite its treatment of its employees, many of whom receive minimum wages and no health or other benefits, Mallwart has the reputation, whether deserved or not, of being a "family-friendly" retailer. However, in the wake of rece...
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Breaking News...

Daryl Hannah Breaks Up With Neil Young

I get confused sometimes but as soon as he started playing Heart of Gold instead of Sweet Caroline, I realized that I had gotten Neil Young and Neil Diamond mixed up," said Ms. Hannah on her break-up.


 
Funny story: Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

No monkeying around! Now that they are pressing for the right to sue, a number of chimps have decided to go to law school. One chimp points out, "The proceeds of successful lawsuits should stay within the species. Why should we let bossy humans...
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Funny story: Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Thousands of frantic Walmart, Target and K-Mart employees are busy stocking shelves this evening with useless and utter shit in preparation for Father's Day, as kids around the country begrudgingly delve into their pocket's to buy Dad something he do...
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Funny story: GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

Detroit - Rabbits' feet have proven to be unlucky for what used to be the world's largest car maker. The key chain charms have been fingered by General Motors engineers as the cause for sudden ignition shutdown that could affect millions of vehicles.
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Funny story: The "For Real" Dining Experience

The "For Real" Dining Experience

A high class restaurant has just opened its doors in Los Angeles. Catering for the Hollywood high rollers it stands by its guarantee that everything on the menu is "FOR REAL". Said proprietor Pesto Tortano who was once head chef in the Vatican kit...
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Funny story: Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...
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Funny story: McDonald's Launches New Minimum Wage Menu

McDonald's Launches New Minimum Wage Menu

McDonaldland, USA -- Bowing to pressure from minimum-wage maximization advocates, the McDonald's Corporation today introduced a "more affordable" menu designed exclusively for workers at the bottom of the pay scale. "We can't afford to raise the s...
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Funny story: Facebook wikipedia entry broken

Facebook wikipedia entry broken

Facebook refused to comment recently when an embarrassing mistake was made in their official wikipedia entry. The mistake has been fixed up now but drew countless giggles from the far flung corners of the globe. The entry listed their illustrious...
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Funny story: Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

A new research study out today shows that the nations poor, as defined by poverty rates, are smoking more crack than ever now that legal pot prices are souring! "I can't even afford a roach now" said 22 year old stoner Cody Nevins. "Crack is by far t...
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bartlebysnopes
bartlebysnopes
Joined: 23 January 2008
Stories Written: 36

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