Funny story: Pig pigs out at "Drunken Donuts"

Pig pigs out at "Drunken Donuts"

WHEN PIGS FLY, NJ - Police officers are famous for their fondness for doughnuts, and, recently, one of Winslow Township's finest showed his appreciation of the sweets in dramatic fashion--by ramming his cruiser--actually, an SUV--through the front wi...
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Satan to sue Santa over Reverse Recording 'HOMAGE'

How many times has it struck Music Enthusiasts that a so - called Homage by one band to another is an otherwise 'crib'...indeed a cleverly disguised infringement of Intellectual Property Rights? The latest example thereof is a recent recording of...
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Donald Trump Pays NBC to Renew The Apprentice Again

New York, NY It was announced today that there will be another season of Donald Trump's ego-fest The Apprentice, which led most people in the United States to assume that Trump is paying NBC, which has been having money problems lately, to run the sh...
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Funny story: The "For Real" Dining Experience

The "For Real" Dining Experience

A high class restaurant has just opened its doors in Los Angeles. Catering for the Hollywood high rollers it stands by its guarantee that everything on the menu is "FOR REAL". Said proprietor Pesto Tortano who was once head chef in the Vatican kit...
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Funny story: Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

IGNORAN, CE (Acme World News) -- Few weeks ago, it has been reported that the town of Protacio, CE bans Dota in all computer shops in that area due to increasing crime rate. Recently, this same town now bans other kinds of software, which is in fa...
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Oil dips below $50

California - A kilo of Sonoma County Best macrobiotic organic lactose-free olive oil salad dressing has nudged $49.99 for the first time since the OPEC crudites crisis of '99. In brisk trading on the Nasduck Monday the price of restaurant-grade av...
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Teen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels

Sex sells, conventional wisdom asserts, but, according to sales of fashion giant Aberzombie & Bitch, not so much. At least, not lately. Teens, it seems, have largely abandoned the clothing company known more for its nudity and pornographic...
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Funny story: Dizney World: it's not for everyone, not anymore

Dizney World: it's not for everyone, not anymore

ORLANDO'S BLOOM -- For millions of Americans, times are hard, but, apparently, Mickey Mouse could care less. He has ordered Dizney World admission ticket prices to skyrocket to a whopping $1,500--not per family, mind you, but per "guest," inc...
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Breaking News...

Saint Patrick's Day Celebrations may offend

People all over the World who 'just can't wear green' may cause Saint Pat's Day Celebrations to be rethought.

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Funny story: Bill Gates Threatens World Domination

Bill Gates Threatens World Domination

Silicon Valley, CA-Self-described "richest English-speaking mother^%$@!er in the world" billionaire Bill Gates today announced that he's tired of acting like a philanthropist and administering the Melinda and Bill Gates Foundation and instead will st...
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Funny story: Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables

Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables

Wall Street, NYC - Punch-drunk on 30 years of pimping up the global warming hoax descendants of oil tycoon John D Rockefeller made yet another strategic move to shore up their dwindling asset base last week. Brokers handling Chevron Corp's renew...
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Funny story: Hellfire Bank says sorry for ratting on pervs' secret accounts

Hellfire Bank says sorry for ratting on pervs' secret accounts

Gnomes of Zurich, Shitzerland - The CEO of fucked-up Hellfire Bank Zurich has groveled in pubic about grassing up dodgy clients' secret bank accounts. Lord Hellfire of Mammon issued a heartfelt - ok, ok, a wallet-felt! - apology to 100,000 Z-Liste...
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Funny story: Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers around the nation are worried that they may have to enter another job profession after several investors decided to develop a Watson Lawyer to advice and represent paying clients. Watson is an artificially intelligent computer system capab...
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Funny story: Major US retailers endanger customers with fraudulent, dangerous products

Major US retailers endanger customers with fraudulent, dangerous products

Putting profit over integrity, four major U. S. retailers have potentially endangered the health of millions of their customers, New Yawk's state attorney general whines. The retailers, identified as Wally World, Wally Green's, Bull's-Eye, and G &...
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Funny story: Upstate Pizza: "We're not related to Upstate Urology"

Upstate Pizza: "We're not related to Upstate Urology"

Upstate Pizza and Subs of Troy, NY clarified yesterday that they weren't related to Upstate Urology, another establishment, located in another part of town, and using the same name as the sub and pizza shop. David Grushim, proprietor of the eat...
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Funny story: EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

Dublin, Ireland - The Irish government has been ordered to seize billions of dollars in spurious new taxes from US tech giant Apple. A Chapter Eleven bankruptcy plot by departing EU Competition (sic) Commissioner JoaquĆ­n Almunia designed to ward o...
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Funny story: Another $10-a-barrel crude drop to bankrupt Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich

Another $10-a-barrel crude drop to bankrupt Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich

New York - Off-the-Wall Street analysts stand to make a killing betting that oil and gas tycoon Roman Abramovich will go bust as global crude prices continue to flop. Uh, drop. This morning traders dumped masses of the Russian's GazPogrom.com st...
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Chrissy Benson
Chrissy Benson
Joined: 07 March 2012
Stories Written: 92

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