Funny story: Tracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart

Tracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart

Today Tracy Morgan, famed comedian and star of many funny programs, settled his automobile head-trauma case with not-so-funny Walmart. The terms of the settlement were confidential, but for a price, (undisclosed,) we were able to determine the gen...
View 'Tracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart'

IBM sells itself to self

From the moment the bell rang, the stock market went bananas. For days it had been rumored that IBM was up to something. For the entire week the stock reflected unusual activity. The volume had increased from its usual daily volume of 12 million to 1...
View 'IBM sells itself to self'

New study finds that ties are pointless, dangerous

A study released this week by the Michigan Institute of Technology's School of Clothing and Clothes-Wearers has found that ties serve no purpose at all. The study is the result of six years' research, and an estimated $42 million in public funding.
View 'New study finds that ties are pointless, dangerous'
Funny story: Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad

Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad

Los Angeles, CA - Rapper .50 cent has apparently completed terms on a contract with retail giant Walmart, in an agreement to cross-market one and others brands. The Walmart folks want America to know that there is nothing that they can't cut the pric...
View 'Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad'
Funny story: Japanese Firm Markets Robot Companion

Japanese Firm Markets Robot Companion

Japanese manufacturing firm Titsandass Inc. shipped their latest model of humanoid robots to malls in Tokyo and Hiroshima where depraved customers waited in long lines to purchase the sensational new product. Ostensibly billed as a household compa...
View 'Japanese Firm Markets Robot Companion'

Teddy Bears Protest Planned Closing of FAO Schwarz

Even for New Yorkers who think they've seen it all, this was a unique sighting! Yesterday on Fifth Avenue in NYC, a large group of teddy bears protested the planned July closing of the world-famous toy store FAO Schwarz. The bears staged the prote...
View 'Teddy Bears Protest Planned Closing of FAO Schwarz'

Jurrasic Park Patrons Cite Law of Diminishing Returns

Jurassic Park, the dinosaur animal preserve on Isla Nublar located west of Costa Rica has been receiving complaints by patrons who have made multiple trips to the park. "It's pretty much the same experience every time," stated Robert Bakker, a fre...
View 'Jurrasic Park Patrons Cite Law of Diminishing Returns'
Funny story: Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers around the nation are worried that they may have to enter another job profession after several investors decided to develop a Watson Lawyer to advice and represent paying clients. Watson is an artificially intelligent computer system capab...
View 'Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers'
Breaking News...

Imperial Palace Announces New Prestigious Appointment

Barack I has named Justice John Roberts as Lord Chancellor of Obamacare with specific authority to condemn all those AntiO'Carelamic terrorists to be waterboarded in perpetuity at Guantanamo Bay Keep.
Increase speedPlayback speedIncrease speed Help
Skip backwardsPausePlaySkip forward


 
Funny story: Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage

Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage

Chicago, Illinois - Manufacturers of the USA's best-selling steam mop are over the moon at a recent sales surge after Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow endorsed their latest must-have add-on the All American Steam Douche Attachment. The vaginal be...
View 'Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage'
Funny story: Snoop Dogg backs dope drone app

Snoop Dogg backs dope drone app

Los Angeles, California - Rolling Stoned magazine is reporting today that well known US rapper Snoop Dogg is a leading backer of an innovative $100m start-up business delivering medical marijuana by aerial drone. Mr Dogg, real name Calvin Cordoza...
View 'Snoop Dogg backs dope drone app'
Funny story: Apple watches to give you the time of your life

Apple watches to give you the time of your life

Apple wants your money, as much (or as little) of it as it can get--as much being $10,000 (for Big Spenders), as little $349 (for cheapskates). That's right, the company founded by Johnny Appleseed has added wristwatches to its collection...
View 'Apple watches to give you the time of your life'
Funny story: Disneyland Boosts Tickets to $99 and Local Cash Advance Loan Business Soars

Disneyland Boosts Tickets to $99 and Local Cash Advance Loan Business Soars

Like a pack of meth addicts whose supply has been cut off, many families are now scrambling to find a way to continue getting their happy high at southern California's "Wonderland" after it hiked up its ticket prices. Undaunted by a recent measles...
View 'Disneyland Boosts Tickets to $99 and Local Cash Advance Loan Business Soars'
Funny story: Customers vote with their pocketbooks (and wallets)

Customers vote with their pocketbooks (and wallets)

Consumers, tired of having companies lecture to them about what's hip and cool and, well, morally right, are fighting back. "If Starfuchs want my five buck, none their baristas better be lecturing me bout how to live my life," Black Panther Sam Ho...
View 'Customers vote with their pocketbooks (and wallets)'
Funny story: iToons Shows Apple Logo Biting Android Robot in Crotch

iToons Shows Apple Logo Biting Android Robot in Crotch

CUPERTINO, CA - In an apparent act of retaliation, Apple's Itoons website displayed the Apple logo biting the Android robot in the groin area. Earlier today, on the Google map of Rawlpindi, Pakistan, there was an image of an Android robot relievin...
View 'iToons Shows Apple Logo Biting Android Robot in Crotch'
Funny story: Aircraft Giant Flying Higher With Legal Pot Breaks For Assembly Line Workers

Aircraft Giant Flying Higher With Legal Pot Breaks For Assembly Line Workers

BILLINGSGATE POST: With Washington State legalizing the possession and growing of pot, aircraft manufacturer Gunwing announced that workers in their assembly facility in Everett, Washington would be allowed to smoke pot on their breaks. Although th...
View 'Aircraft Giant Flying Higher With Legal Pot Breaks For Assembly Line Workers'
Funny story: 'Fifty Shades of Grime' makes record sales

'Fifty Shades of Grime' makes record sales

A new light fiction novel is going like hot - cakes World - wide, with record Translation Sales in Switzerland. The novel presents sexy , middle - aged people's bedroom romps and their household cleaning habits. The Protagonist, Felicity , is a...
View ''Fifty Shades of Grime' makes record sales'

Interested in writing your own spoof news stories like these?

Yes, tell me more!

Profile Featured Writer

Jack Battler
Jack Battler
Joined: 01 March 2007
Stories Written: 36

Seven day catch up

Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

54 readers are online right now!

Go to top