Funny story: Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...
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Bear Lying in a Hammock Offered a Job

He was relaxing and minding his own business when the photo went viral. The bear has told friends he fails to see why it's such an oddity. "What's so interesting about seeing someone relax in a hammock?" he asks. A major hammock maker thought i...
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Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

A new research study out today shows that the nations poor, as defined by poverty rates, are smoking more crack than ever now that legal pot prices are souring! "I can't even afford a roach now" said 22 year old stoner Cody Nevins. "Crack is by far t...
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Funny story: GPS-enabled Cryptographer Limited Edition all the rage as inventor launches 12mph electric suitcase

GPS-enabled Cryptographer Limited Edition all the rage as inventor launches 12mph electric suitcase

Changsha, China - A deluxe version of an inventor's motorised suitcase on wheels was launched today aimed at the lucrative international Security Services market. According to a New China Toast press release the 'Lock Up N Go' invention is the br...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Tries to Crash Meeting Between Bill Gates and Warren Buffet-Made to Wait All Day in Lobby

Donald Trump Tries to Crash Meeting Between Bill Gates and Warren Buffet-Made to Wait All Day in Lobby

New York, NYDonald Trump was left sitting in the lobby at the BOSS lobby (short for Billionaire's Organization to Surmise Shit) today, the equivalent of having to sit at the "little kid's table" at Thanksgiving. Apparently, the big boys like Warre...
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Apple Announces Female Egg Bank

Ever since Apple announced plans to store employee eggs in hopes that women would remain at their desks and continue with business as usual (as opposed to quitting to have a kid) the march has begun for other institutions to open Egg Banks. Sperm Ban...
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Jeter's Retirement Spells Doom For Franchise

Ask anyone who the "all-star" of the Bronxville, NY Yankee Auto Parts is, and they'll tell you: Bob Jeter. Jeter, 65, is retiring at the end of this month after 40 memorable years at the branch. Working his way up the chain from gasket salesman to...
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Funny story: Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

BUG TUSSLE, AK -- Despite its treatment of its employees, many of whom receive minimum wages and no health or other benefits, Mallwart has the reputation, whether deserved or not, of being a "family-friendly" retailer. However, in the wake of rece...
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Breaking News...

Style Maven/Ex-Con Stewart Announces Her Latest For the Holiday

Stewart today touted her rollout of MarthaGoblers--designer turkeys for the Thanksgiving feast. MarthaGoblers are available in various skin-tone shades from Titian Brown to Chirascuro Noir and Blanc
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Funny story: Sen. Sherrod Brown charged with conflict of interest

Sen. Sherrod Brown charged with conflict of interest

WHAT'S THE BEEF, OH -- Elected to represent the not-so-great state of Ohio, U. S. Senator Sherrod Brown (a Democrat, of course) has been charged with a conflict of interest. Apparently, while supposedly representing Ohio, the politician is also re...
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Funny story: Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

New York - The last time a full moon occurred on Friday the 13th, in October 2000, Rupert Murdoch was sitting pretty in his NYC NewsCorpse HQ confidently predicting Al 'Weird Al' Gore was just daze away from being elected the next President of the U...
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Funny story: Upstate Pizza: "We're not related to Upstate Urology"

Upstate Pizza: "We're not related to Upstate Urology"

Upstate Pizza and Subs of Troy, NY clarified yesterday that they weren't related to Upstate Urology, another establishment, located in another part of town, and using the same name as the sub and pizza shop. David Grushim, proprietor of the eat...
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Funny story: Pig pigs out at "Drunken Donuts"

Pig pigs out at "Drunken Donuts"

WHEN PIGS FLY, NJ - Police officers are famous for their fondness for doughnuts, and, recently, one of Winslow Township's finest showed his appreciation of the sweets in dramatic fashion--by ramming his cruiser--actually, an SUV--through the front wi...
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Funny story: Fluffy Bunnies' Warning to Whole Foods: "We Will Avenge Little Loppy's Murder"

Fluffy Bunnies' Warning to Whole Foods: "We Will Avenge Little Loppy's Murder"

Fluffy bunnies have flash mobbed a Los Angeles Whole Foods Market believed to be the location of the graphic video aired last week in which "Loppy" the lop-eared bunny got lopped. Rumors that Loppy (or what was left of him) was being stored in the fr...
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Funny story: Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

The British Falkland Islands are now the new owners of all Argentina's Government bonds, infrastructure shares, mining and commodity stock after an anticipated IMF approved rescue plan was implemented at 6.00 hrs this morning. The move is expected t...
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Funny story: 'We kicked Donziger's ass good and proper' Chevron tells shareholders meeting

'We kicked Donziger's ass good and proper' Chevron tells shareholders meeting

Midland, Texas - The world famous Rogues Gallery at Midland's Permain Basin Petroleum Museum got a horrible new addition this week as racketeering New York lawyer Steven Donziger was finally inducted into its corruption rankings. Acclaimed by the...
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Funny story: NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

The slogan? Buy beautiful blinders! The horses became entrepreneurs when Mayor Bill de Blasio indicated his dislike for the horse-and-carriage trade. Faced with losing their jobs, the NYC horses galloped onto another endeavor. After years of be...
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Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13

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