Funny story: Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Thousands of frantic Walmart, Target and K-Mart employees are busy stocking shelves this evening with useless and utter shit in preparation for Father's Day, as kids around the country begrudgingly delve into their pocket's to buy Dad something he do...
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GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

Detroit - Rabbits' feet have proven to be unlucky for what used to be the world's largest car maker. The key chain charms have been fingered by General Motors engineers as the cause for sudden ignition shutdown that could affect millions of vehicles.
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Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Senate and Congressional candidates held a joint news conference today where they warned that ISIS and other terrorists would soon cross the border with Mexico. "We'll all be murdered in our beds, " said Republican candidate for the N.H. senate seat...
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Funny story: Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Wall Street - Economic inflation has pushed the price of "your thoughts" to nine and a half cents ($0.095) and most investment experts agree that it is usually an extremely bad investment yielding not only no actual positive return, but it has the po...
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Funny story: EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

Dublin, Ireland - The Irish government has been ordered to seize billions of dollars in spurious new taxes from US tech giant Apple. A Chapter Eleven bankruptcy plot by departing EU Competition (sic) Commissioner JoaquĆ­n Almunia designed to ward o...
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Facebook wikipedia entry broken

Facebook refused to comment recently when an embarrassing mistake was made in their official wikipedia entry. The mistake has been fixed up now but drew countless giggles from the far flung corners of the globe. The entry listed their illustrious...
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Jeter's Retirement Spells Doom For Franchise

Ask anyone who the "all-star" of the Bronxville, NY Yankee Auto Parts is, and they'll tell you: Bob Jeter. Jeter, 65, is retiring at the end of this month after 40 memorable years at the branch. Working his way up the chain from gasket salesman to...
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Funny story: Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

New York - The last time a full moon occurred on Friday the 13th, in October 2000, Rupert Murdoch was sitting pretty in his NYC NewsCorpse HQ confidently predicting Al 'Weird Al' Gore was just daze away from being elected the next President of the U...
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Breaking News...

Style Maven/Ex-Con Stewart Announces Her Latest For the Holiday

Stewart today touted her rollout of MarthaGoblers--designer turkeys for the Thanksgiving feast. MarthaGoblers are available in various skin-tone shades from Titian Brown to Chirascuro Noir and Blanc
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Funny story: Pig pigs out at "Drunken Donuts"

Pig pigs out at "Drunken Donuts"

WHEN PIGS FLY, NJ - Police officers are famous for their fondness for doughnuts, and, recently, one of Winslow Township's finest showed his appreciation of the sweets in dramatic fashion--by ramming his cruiser--actually, an SUV--through the front wi...
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Funny story: Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

No monkeying around! Now that they are pressing for the right to sue, a number of chimps have decided to go to law school. One chimp points out, "The proceeds of successful lawsuits should stay within the species. Why should we let bossy humans...
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Funny story: Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables

Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables

Wall Street, NYC - Punch-drunk on 30 years of pimping up the global warming hoax descendants of oil tycoon John D Rockefeller made yet another strategic move to shore up their dwindling asset base last week. Brokers handling Chevron Corp's renew...
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Funny story: Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...
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Funny story: NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

The slogan? Buy beautiful blinders! The horses became entrepreneurs when Mayor Bill de Blasio indicated his dislike for the horse-and-carriage trade. Faced with losing their jobs, the NYC horses galloped onto another endeavor. After years of be...
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Funny story: I Just Bought My Own Drone, And Man Is She a Pretty One!

I Just Bought My Own Drone, And Man Is She a Pretty One!

JERSEY CITY, N.J. - I went online and ordered my very own drone in late July. I purchased the thing from Military Drone Leftovers from the Desert Wars Dot Com. Man, it sure is a pretty thing, too. I guess it originally was a flat black, but b...
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Funny story: The "For Real" Dining Experience

The "For Real" Dining Experience

A high class restaurant has just opened its doors in Los Angeles. Catering for the Hollywood high rollers it stands by its guarantee that everything on the menu is "FOR REAL". Said proprietor Pesto Tortano who was once head chef in the Vatican kit...
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Funny story: Jackson's Neverland estate a $100m fracking teardown

Jackson's Neverland estate a $100m fracking teardown

Los Olivos, California - Executors marketing Michael Jackson's estate have received a $100m bid for Neverland from reclusive Colorado Springs entrepreneur 'Mr F Racking'. Described by Forbes That's Rich! list as a self-made mover 'n' shaker Racki...
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Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13

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