Funny story: CNN Desperately Looking for New Big Story

CNN Desperately Looking for New Big Story

Rival news station CNN, otherwise known as the Cable News Network, has just announced it is actively searching for a new Story of Maximum Importance. What's that? Well, in recent years, CNN's preferred broadcast technique is choosing just one piec...
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BP's "Global Cooling Machine" Enables Consumers to Think Globally, Cool Locally

Oil company British Petroleum, whose corporate reputation has suffered since the environmentally devastating 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill, recently announced the launch of a groundbreaking new product: the global cooling machine or "GCM," designe...
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Supreme Court Rules Corporations Can Do Whatever They Want

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that corporations, especially ones closely held by very rich people, will have no restrictions whatsoever in whatever they do. "We have been heading in this direction for a long time" spoke Chief Justice John Rob...
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Funny story: Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills

Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills

Self Righteous Sporting Goods Corporation recently announced that their employee health plan will no longer cover medication for erectile dis-function (ED) unless the employee is married, Christian, and seeking to procreate. The closely-held retail c...
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Funny story: Wireless Carriers Want to Add "Mauled By Rabid Raccoon" to Terms of Breaking Contract

Wireless Carriers Want to Add "Mauled By Rabid Raccoon" to Terms of Breaking Contract

Washington D.C. - A conglomeration of the country's six largest wireless carriers are lobbying the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to allow them to add "Mauled by rabid raccoon" to the consequences to a consumer of breaking the contract they...
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Strapped for cash billionaire hedge fund manager hocks a few Picassos, etc, to Goldman Sux

Off-The-Wall Street, NYC - One of the artworks is believed to be the insanely rare and wildly expensive El Greco rendition of Christ Throwing The Money Lenders From The Temple according to Plumeberg Artworld news reports today. The painting is sai...
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Teen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels

Sex sells, conventional wisdom asserts, but, according to sales of fashion giant Aberzombie & Bitch, not so much. At least, not lately. Teens, it seems, have largely abandoned the clothing company known more for its nudity and pornographic...
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Funny story: Fast-food customers safe "for now"

Fast-food customers safe "for now"

DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...
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Breaking News...

Justin Bieber and North Korean Leader On Same Fantasy Basketball Site

Pop star Justin Bieber and North Korean despot Kim Jong Un are both on the same fantasy basketball website, battling it out in cyberspace over the comic collection Kim says Justin ripped him off on.


 
Funny story: Latest Eco-friendly Car the Yabbadabba Not So Friendly To Drivers

Latest Eco-friendly Car the Yabbadabba Not So Friendly To Drivers

Detroitstone - The latest entry into the 'green' or 'eco-friendly' automobile market is proving to be not so friendly to drivers. The Yabbadabba is the first vehicle introduced by Granitestone Motors. Granitestone was founded and primarily funded by...
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Funny story: McDonald's Introduces "Taco" Bell Ad Featuring Burger-Coveting Illegals

McDonald's Introduces "Taco" Bell Ad Featuring Burger-Coveting Illegals

LAND OF OPPORTUNITY, ARIZONA -- In a fast food counter attack, McDonald's is launching a commercial featuring 12 everyday illegal aliens from Arizona named "Taco" Bell being arrested by authorities. "My name is Ernesto 'Taco' Bell," said one man f...
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Funny story: Can't We Focus On All The People Who Didn't Die From Smoking? Beg Tobacco Companies

Can't We Focus On All The People Who Didn't Die From Smoking? Beg Tobacco Companies

Leading tobacco companies and cigarette makers are asking the public not to focus on the dangers of smoking but to switch their thoughts to the millons of people who smoked but did not die from smoking related illnesses. "Not everyone dies from ca...
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Funny story: Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

No monkeying around! Now that they are pressing for the right to sue, a number of chimps have decided to go to law school. One chimp points out, "The proceeds of successful lawsuits should stay within the species. Why should we let bossy humans...
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Funny story: GM Recalls Every Car They Ever Made

GM Recalls Every Car They Ever Made

Millions of GM car owners got a big surprise in their mailbox this week, a recall notice informing them that their, Caprice, Colbart, Corvair, Vega, Chevette, Corvette, Trailblazer, Suburban, Yukon, Malibu or any other GM car ever made is a death tra...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Announces Plans to Purchase The Alphabet

Donald Trump Announces Plans to Purchase The Alphabet

New York City, NY - Donald Trump has announced that he intends to buy the English alphabet and expects the deal to close before the end of July. Wall Street investors largely ignored the announcement, having become used to what are generally seen...
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Funny story: Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Wall Street - Economic inflation has pushed the price of "your thoughts" to nine and a half cents ($0.095) and most investment experts agree that it is usually an extremely bad investment yielding not only no actual positive return, but it has the po...
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Funny story: Fluffy Bunnies' Warning to Whole Foods: "We Will Avenge Little Loppy's Murder"

Fluffy Bunnies' Warning to Whole Foods: "We Will Avenge Little Loppy's Murder"

Fluffy bunnies have flash mobbed a Los Angeles Whole Foods Market believed to be the location of the graphic video aired last week in which "Loppy" the lop-eared bunny got lopped. Rumors that Loppy (or what was left of him) was being stored in the fr...
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Jeff Brone
Jeff Brone
Joined: 21 September 2007
Stories Written: 140

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