Funny story: EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

Dublin, Ireland - The Irish government has been ordered to seize billions of dollars in spurious new taxes from US tech giant Apple. A Chapter Eleven bankruptcy plot by departing EU Competition (sic) Commissioner Joaquín Almunia designed to ward o...
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Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

KANSAS CITY, MO---The NRA, ever vigilant against liberal, extremist groups who want to take away citizens' right to bear arms, now has an enemy's list. In addition to Wallmark Cards, among its many targets are Britney Spears, the YWCA, AARP, B'nai B...
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WalMart to Have Big Sale to Feed Employees for the Holidays

Bentonville, AR-In a surge of holiday spirit, Walmart announced it would give employees big discounts on their food purchases so as to be able to stock up for the holidays. Rice and beans are two of the commodities that will be discounted. "We...
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Funny story: Fluffy Bunnies' Warning to Whole Foods: "We Will Avenge Little Loppy's Murder"

Fluffy Bunnies' Warning to Whole Foods: "We Will Avenge Little Loppy's Murder"

Fluffy bunnies have flash mobbed a Los Angeles Whole Foods Market believed to be the location of the graphic video aired last week in which "Loppy" the lop-eared bunny got lopped. Rumors that Loppy (or what was left of him) was being stored in the fr...
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Funny story: Bill Gates Threatens World Domination

Bill Gates Threatens World Domination

Silicon Valley, CA-Self-described "richest English-speaking mother^%$@!er in the world" billionaire Bill Gates today announced that he's tired of acting like a philanthropist and administering the Melinda and Bill Gates Foundation and instead will st...
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Twitter Birdies Go On Shopping Spree

"Shop till you drop" doesn't apply only to humans. Twitter birdies, bored with their usual endeavors, have taken to shopping. Boy, have they taken to shopping! During the last few weeks, the best stores on Fifth Avenue in NYC have been packe...
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NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

The slogan? Buy beautiful blinders! The horses became entrepreneurs when Mayor Bill de Blasio indicated his dislike for the horse-and-carriage trade. Faced with losing their jobs, the NYC horses galloped onto another endeavor. After years of be...
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Funny story: Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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Funny story: Donald Trump Pays NBC to Renew The Apprentice Again

Donald Trump Pays NBC to Renew The Apprentice Again

New York, NY It was announced today that there will be another season of Donald Trump's ego-fest The Apprentice, which led most people in the United States to assume that Trump is paying NBC, which has been having money problems lately, to run the sh...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Tries to Crash Meeting Between Bill Gates and Warren Buffet-Made to Wait All Day in Lobby

Donald Trump Tries to Crash Meeting Between Bill Gates and Warren Buffet-Made to Wait All Day in Lobby

New York, NYDonald Trump was left sitting in the lobby at the BOSS lobby (short for Billionaire's Organization to Surmise Shit) today, the equivalent of having to sit at the "little kid's table" at Thanksgiving. Apparently, the big boys like Warre...
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Funny story: Fast-food customers safe "for now"

Fast-food customers safe "for now"

DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...
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Funny story: All U.S. Boomers Target Of Class Action Lawsuit

All U.S. Boomers Target Of Class Action Lawsuit

Harvard junior and political science major Nick Overmann's parents expended every effort and spared no expense on their sun's education while he attended a rather good public schools in Southern California's Westlake Village. He went to numerous sci...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Announces Plans to Purchase The Alphabet

Donald Trump Announces Plans to Purchase The Alphabet

New York City, NY - Donald Trump has announced that he intends to buy the English alphabet and expects the deal to close before the end of July. Wall Street investors largely ignored the announcement, having become used to what are generally seen...
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Funny story: Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables

Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables

Wall Street, NYC - Punch-drunk on 30 years of pimping up the global warming hoax descendants of oil tycoon John D Rockefeller made yet another strategic move to shore up their dwindling asset base last week. Brokers handling Chevron Corp's renew...
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Funny story: Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Senate and Congressional candidates held a joint news conference today where they warned that ISIS and other terrorists would soon cross the border with Mexico. "We'll all be murdered in our beds, " said Republican candidate for the N.H. senate seat...
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Funny story: Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills

Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills

Self Righteous Sporting Goods Corporation recently announced that their employee health plan will no longer cover medication for erectile dis-function (ED) unless the employee is married, Christian, and seeking to procreate. The closely-held retail c...
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Joined: 20 April 2008
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