Funny story: Jackson's Neverland estate a $100m fracking teardown

Jackson's Neverland estate a $100m fracking teardown

Los Olivos, California - Executors marketing Michael Jackson's estate have received a $100m bid for Neverland from reclusive Colorado Springs entrepreneur 'Mr F Racking'. Described by Forbes That's Rich! list as a self-made mover 'n' shaker Racki...
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Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

A Fox & Friends segment on Monday warned women looking to succeed in business "not to raise their voices" and not to talk too much. Fox News host Steve Doocy introduced Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence." She suggested that w...
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Bear Lying in a Hammock Offered a Job

He was relaxing and minding his own business when the photo went viral. The bear has told friends he fails to see why it's such an oddity. "What's so interesting about seeing someone relax in a hammock?" he asks. A major hammock maker thought i...
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Funny story: 'We kicked Donziger's ass good and proper' Chevron tells shareholders meeting

'We kicked Donziger's ass good and proper' Chevron tells shareholders meeting

Midland, Texas - The world famous Rogues Gallery at Midland's Permain Basin Petroleum Museum got a horrible new addition this week as racketeering New York lawyer Steven Donziger was finally inducted into its corruption rankings. Acclaimed by the...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Announces Plans to Purchase The Alphabet

Donald Trump Announces Plans to Purchase The Alphabet

New York City, NY - Donald Trump has announced that he intends to buy the English alphabet and expects the deal to close before the end of July. Wall Street investors largely ignored the announcement, having become used to what are generally seen...
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Twitter Birdies Go On Shopping Spree

"Shop till you drop" doesn't apply only to humans. Twitter birdies, bored with their usual endeavors, have taken to shopping. Boy, have they taken to shopping! During the last few weeks, the best stores on Fifth Avenue in NYC have been packe...
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Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Wall Street - Economic inflation has pushed the price of "your thoughts" to nine and a half cents ($0.095) and most investment experts agree that it is usually an extremely bad investment yielding not only no actual positive return, but it has the po...
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Funny story: Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

BUG TUSSLE, AK -- Despite its treatment of its employees, many of whom receive minimum wages and no health or other benefits, Mallwart has the reputation, whether deserved or not, of being a "family-friendly" retailer. However, in the wake of rece...
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Breaking News...

Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
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Funny story: Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

No monkeying around! Now that they are pressing for the right to sue, a number of chimps have decided to go to law school. One chimp points out, "The proceeds of successful lawsuits should stay within the species. Why should we let bossy humans...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Pays NBC to Renew The Apprentice Again

Donald Trump Pays NBC to Renew The Apprentice Again

New York, NY It was announced today that there will be another season of Donald Trump's ego-fest The Apprentice, which led most people in the United States to assume that Trump is paying NBC, which has been having money problems lately, to run the sh...
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Funny story: Apple Stores Reject Apple Pay in Favor of CurrentC

Apple Stores Reject Apple Pay in Favor of CurrentC

Apple Computers, Inc. has announced that the Apple Stores, being a brick and mortar retailer, have joined the MCX (Merchange Customer Exchange) and will follow in Walmart's footsteps by no longer accepting Apple Pay. "Walmart is the world's larges...
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Funny story: Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Senate and Congressional candidates held a joint news conference today where they warned that ISIS and other terrorists would soon cross the border with Mexico. "We'll all be murdered in our beds, " said Republican candidate for the N.H. senate seat...
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Funny story: Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Thousands of frantic Walmart, Target and K-Mart employees are busy stocking shelves this evening with useless and utter shit in preparation for Father's Day, as kids around the country begrudgingly delve into their pocket's to buy Dad something he do...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Tries to Crash Meeting Between Bill Gates and Warren Buffet-Made to Wait All Day in Lobby

Donald Trump Tries to Crash Meeting Between Bill Gates and Warren Buffet-Made to Wait All Day in Lobby

New York, NYDonald Trump was left sitting in the lobby at the BOSS lobby (short for Billionaire's Organization to Surmise Shit) today, the equivalent of having to sit at the "little kid's table" at Thanksgiving. Apparently, the big boys like Warre...
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Funny story: Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...
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Funny story: GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

Detroit - Rabbits' feet have proven to be unlucky for what used to be the world's largest car maker. The key chain charms have been fingered by General Motors engineers as the cause for sudden ignition shutdown that could affect millions of vehicles.
View 'GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle'

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Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13

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