Commerce Department Approves Big Pharma Merger

Funny story: Commerce Department Approves Big Pharma Merger
Officials at the US Department of Commerce endorsed the largest merger in corporate history by rubber-stamping the paperwork prior to returning it to the roll in the toilet stall at the lavatory down the hall. The amalgamation involved the acquis...
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Apple Reveals New iBitch Robot

Funny story: Apple Reveals New iBitch Robot
Electronics giant Apple chose New York City as a venue to introduce its new dominatrix robot, the iBitch, to consumers last week. Spokesbitch Ivana C. U. Hirt explained to reporters and tech gurus that the idea for the iBitch was actually spawned...
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Quackberry Launches New Smartphone App

Funny story: Quackberry Launches New Smartphone App
As predicted, the release of Apple's new iBitch robot has prompted arch-rival Quackberry to respond with a competing product. However, Quackberry has chosen to tap the same market niche via a completely different approach. At a press conference y...
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Fed Intentionally Trying to Maintain the American Dollar's Low Value Worldwide

Funny story: Fed Intentionally Trying to Maintain the American Dollar's Low Value Worldwide
While the American Economy struggles to regain its footing following the massive recession and credit crisis, the Fed seems to have their own agenda. Economists on Capitol hill have been expressing growing concerns over the budding economy. One f...
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Dunkin Donuts Says Minimum Wage Hike Will Lead To Mechanization of Donut Hole Making

Funny story: Dunkin Donuts Says Minimum Wage Hike Will Lead To Mechanization of Donut Hole Making
St. Louis, MO - For years, Wilbur Jones of St. Louis has been working the graveyard shift at Dunkin Donuts, making donut holes with his dick. "They hired me because the circumference of my wang when erect was the size of a donut hole," Jones said,...
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Banks Reply to Greece

Funny story: Banks Reply to Greece
Yes folks, it's ALL FOR YOU, isn't it? "Why can't we all just... get along?" "The International Monetary Fund (IMF) is an international organization headquartered in Washington, D. C., of 188 countries working to foster global monetary coopera...
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Disney sues NASA: "Pluto is ours."

Funny story: Disney sues NASA: "Pluto is ours."
Reports today have emerged that conglomerate Disney is suing NASA over the naming rights of Pluto. The entertainment giants claim that the recent media interest given to the dwarf planet is detracting from their brand and causing them to lose tens of...
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Prices of guitars skyrocketing - Buy one now before they cost more than you do!

Funny story: Prices of guitars skyrocketing - Buy one now before they cost more than you do!
Hipsters, douche-bags, failed musicians, and people without many friends alike need to buy their guitars and fast. As summer rolls around, the beaches of the coasts are going to be flooded with morons, failing college students, hot babes and guys...
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Breaking News...

Pirates' Cruise Ship Snack Attack

A motley crew of swashbuckling pirates commandeered a luxury cruise ship off the coast of Somalia and demanded 10 million dollars until the buccaneers dined in the cafeteria and died of food poisoning
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Funny story: Japanese Firm Markets Robot Companion

Japanese Firm Markets Robot Companion

Japanese manufacturing firm Titsandass Inc. shipped their latest model of humanoid robots to malls in Tokyo and Hiroshima where depraved customers waited in long lines to purchase the sensational new product. Ostensibly billed as a household compa...
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Funny story: London Whale Helps The Spoof! Profits Go Through The Roof!

London Whale Helps The Spoof! Profits Go Through The Roof!

London, England - The two JP Morgan financial analysts, known collaboratively as the London Whale, have seemingly overnight, helped boost the profit margins of one of the very journalistic institutions which has been taking the piss out of them for n...
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Funny story: Technological home breakthrough

Technological home breakthrough

Havvanna Stairlifts have just announced their latest innovation for the modern home with elderly relatives living in. A built in commode for the stairlift to save those poor old crumblies the inconvenience of going to the bathroom and pissing all ove...
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Funny story: Flash crash: rogue trader charged with one c*unt of spoofing

Flash crash: rogue trader charged with one c*unt of spoofing

New York - A British trader who manipulated the stock market causing a $750bn crash is facing extradition to the USA charged with wire fraud, ten c*unts of commodities fraud, ten c*unts of commodities manipulation and one c*unt of spoofing.. He de...
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Funny story: Teddy Bears Protest Planned Closing of FAO Schwarz

Teddy Bears Protest Planned Closing of FAO Schwarz

Even for New Yorkers who think they've seen it all, this was a unique sighting! Yesterday on Fifth Avenue in NYC, a large group of teddy bears protested the planned July closing of the world-famous toy store FAO Schwarz. The bears staged the prote...
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Funny story: Police officer sues Starbucks for million dollars. Gained 300 pounds on free doughnuts!

Police officer sues Starbucks for million dollars. Gained 300 pounds on free doughnuts!

The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting this morning that a Raleigh police officer is suing Starbucks for one million dollars. His lawsuit states that he gained over three hundred pounds in three years from free donuts he had been given at the...
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Funny story: SouthWest Airline's New "Pass The Bottle" Policy

SouthWest Airline's New "Pass The Bottle" Policy

Phoenix, AZ - Gas prices are on the rise once again, and once again this means that our nation's airlines are busy coming up with sneaky new tactics to gouge a few more dollars out of the old bottom line. This week, SouthWest Airlines announced it's...
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Funny story: IBM sells itself to self

IBM sells itself to self

From the moment the bell rang, the stock market went bananas. For days it had been rumored that IBM was up to something. For the entire week the stock reflected unusual activity. The volume had increased from its usual daily volume of 12 million to 1...
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The Big C O Jones
The Big C O Jones
Joined: 17 October 2008
Stories Written: 24

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