Funny story: IBM going the way of the T Rex?

IBM going the way of the T Rex?

International Business Machinations (IBM) denied reports that it plans to lay off 100,000 of its employees after losses for each of the last 11 successive quarters. "We're in the money," CEO Ginni Romney (no relation, as far as can be determined,...
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Apple Announces Female Egg Bank

Ever since Apple announced plans to store employee eggs in hopes that women would remain at their desks and continue with business as usual (as opposed to quitting to have a kid) the march has begun for other institutions to open Egg Banks. Sperm Ban...
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Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

IGNORAN, CE (Acme World News) -- Few weeks ago, it has been reported that the town of Protacio, CE bans Dota in all computer shops in that area due to increasing crime rate. Recently, this same town now bans other kinds of software, which is in fa...
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Funny story: Major US retailers endanger customers with fraudulent, dangerous products

Major US retailers endanger customers with fraudulent, dangerous products

Putting profit over integrity, four major U. S. retailers have potentially endangered the health of millions of their customers, New Yawk's state attorney general whines. The retailers, identified as Wally World, Wally Green's, Bull's-Eye, and G &...
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Funny story: Hellfire Bank hid millions for arms dealers, drug traffickers and Z-Lister celebs

Hellfire Bank hid millions for arms dealers, drug traffickers and Z-Lister celebs

Switzerland - Hellfire Bank's Gnomes of Zurich subsidiary hid billions of $$$ for drug lords, arms dealers and Z-Lister royals according to a new report. Celeb non-entities laundered their coke-dealing squillions via the Swiss bank's private arm i...
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'Fifty Shades of Grime' makes record sales

A new light fiction novel is going like hot - cakes World - wide, with record Translation Sales in Switzerland. The novel presents sexy , middle - aged people's bedroom romps and their household cleaning habits. The Protagonist, Felicity , is a...
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EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

Dublin, Ireland - The Irish government has been ordered to seize billions of dollars in spurious new taxes from US tech giant Apple. A Chapter Eleven bankruptcy plot by departing EU Competition (sic) Commissioner Joaquín Almunia designed to ward o...
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Funny story: Fast-food customers safe "for now"

Fast-food customers safe "for now"

DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...
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Breaking News...

Emperor Finally Issues A "Secure Borders" Edict

Barack I degreed today all borders of the US Empire shall be sealed to prevent entry of the "undesirable alien" Bibi Netanyahu. Chief of Secret Storm Troopers, Eric Holder, will personally enforce it.
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Funny story: Black Friday - The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success!

Black Friday - The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success!

Friday, November 28th 2014 will reign as a black day in British history, black not only for the dark deeds done on that day but also for the foul American import that caused them - BLACK FRIDAY! Long accustomed to importing all new things American...
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Funny story: Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...
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Funny story: The "For Real" Dining Experience

The "For Real" Dining Experience

A high class restaurant has just opened its doors in Los Angeles. Catering for the Hollywood high rollers it stands by its guarantee that everything on the menu is "FOR REAL". Said proprietor Pesto Tortano who was once head chef in the Vatican kit...
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Funny story: Another $10-a-barrel crude drop to bankrupt Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich

Another $10-a-barrel crude drop to bankrupt Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich

New York - Off-the-Wall Street analysts stand to make a killing betting that oil and gas tycoon Roman Abramovich will go bust as global crude prices continue to flop. Uh, drop. This morning traders dumped masses of the Russian's GazPogrom.com st...
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Funny story: Teen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels

Teen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels

Sex sells, conventional wisdom asserts, but, according to sales of fashion giant Aberzombie & Bitch, not so much. At least, not lately. Teens, it seems, have largely abandoned the clothing company known more for its nudity and pornographic...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Threatens to Stop Air Traffic Everywhere as He Buys Sky

Donald Trump Threatens to Stop Air Traffic Everywhere as He Buys Sky

New York, NY In a revenge move precipitated by the Palm Beach county airport rerouting their plane lines over his mansion, Donald Trump has bought the sky. His first move is to restrict all air traffic from using his sky. The Supreme Court quickly...
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Funny story: WalMart to Have Big Sale to Feed Employees for the Holidays

WalMart to Have Big Sale to Feed Employees for the Holidays

Bentonville, AR-In a surge of holiday spirit, Walmart announced it would give employees big discounts on their food purchases so as to be able to stock up for the holidays. Rice and beans are two of the commodities that will be discounted. "We...
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Funny story: Walmart Exploits Workers, It's a Matter Of Ethics.

Walmart Exploits Workers, It's a Matter Of Ethics.

AP - Almost exactly a year ago, a Walmart in Ohio made headlines for an employee food drive intended to help support their fellow Walmart workers. Now come reports of additional stores rolling out the donation bins, showing that the retailers really...
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K.C. Bell
K.C. Bell
Joined: 27 June 2004
Stories Written: 254

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