Funny story: Tracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart

Tracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart

Today Tracy Morgan, famed comedian and star of many funny programs, settled his automobile head-trauma case with not-so-funny Walmart. The terms of the settlement were confidential, but for a price, (undisclosed,) we were able to determine the gen...
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IBM sells itself to self

From the moment the bell rang, the stock market went bananas. For days it had been rumored that IBM was up to something. For the entire week the stock reflected unusual activity. The volume had increased from its usual daily volume of 12 million to 1...
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New study finds that ties are pointless, dangerous

A study released this week by the Michigan Institute of Technology's School of Clothing and Clothes-Wearers has found that ties serve no purpose at all. The study is the result of six years' research, and an estimated $42 million in public funding.
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Funny story: Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad

Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad

Los Angeles, CA - Rapper .50 cent has apparently completed terms on a contract with retail giant Walmart, in an agreement to cross-market one and others brands. The Walmart folks want America to know that there is nothing that they can't cut the pric...
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Funny story: Japanese Firm Markets Robot Companion

Japanese Firm Markets Robot Companion

Japanese manufacturing firm Titsandass Inc. shipped their latest model of humanoid robots to malls in Tokyo and Hiroshima where depraved customers waited in long lines to purchase the sensational new product. Ostensibly billed as a household compa...
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Teddy Bears Protest Planned Closing of FAO Schwarz

Even for New Yorkers who think they've seen it all, this was a unique sighting! Yesterday on Fifth Avenue in NYC, a large group of teddy bears protested the planned July closing of the world-famous toy store FAO Schwarz. The bears staged the prote...
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Hot Wheels Inc. To Take Over Broken Nat'l Hot Rod Assoc.

Gainesville, FL - The troubled National Hot Rod Association has been running out of gas and getting lapped by NASCAR and Formula 1 Auto Racing for the last three decades, but the folks over at Hot Wheels, Inc. think they have the solution to turn the...
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Funny story: Flash crash: rogue trader charged with one c*unt of spoofing

Flash crash: rogue trader charged with one c*unt of spoofing

New York - A British trader who manipulated the stock market causing a $750bn crash is facing extradition to the USA charged with wire fraud, ten c*unts of commodities fraud, ten c*unts of commodities manipulation and one c*unt of spoofing.. He de...
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Breaking News...

Supreme Court Will Issue Definitive Decision Next Tuesday

At end of 2015 term US Supreme Court will issue its most definitive decision to date,mandating that all in US must now be GAY.Activists celebrate,while religious adherents prep for guerilla warfare.
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Funny story: Telsa Motors Unveils Coal-Powered SUV

Telsa Motors Unveils Coal-Powered SUV

PALO ALTO, CA - Telsa Motors' CEO, Ellen Mush, announced their next "green" vehicle - The Telsa Model C. The model C is the first coal-powered vehicle since the 1884 Trepardeux. It was a coal fired steam propelled carriage. Ms. Mush said the new M...
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Funny story: Building on Starbucks' Race Together Initiative New "Defend Your Position" Campaign Earning Stellar Reviews

Building on Starbucks' Race Together Initiative New "Defend Your Position" Campaign Earning Stellar Reviews

Building upon the great success of Starbucks' Race Together campaign, a rival coffee house has unveiled their new concept of "Defend Your Position". "What we found out very quickly is that people already have very set opinions on a great many sub...
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Funny story: Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage

Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage

Chicago, Illinois - Manufacturers of the USA's best-selling steam mop are over the moon at a recent sales surge after Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow endorsed their latest must-have add-on the All American Steam Douche Attachment. The vaginal be...
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Funny story: Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers around the nation are worried that they may have to enter another job profession after several investors decided to develop a Watson Lawyer to advice and represent paying clients. Watson is an artificially intelligent computer system capab...
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Funny story: Dizney World: it's not for everyone, not anymore

Dizney World: it's not for everyone, not anymore

ORLANDO'S BLOOM -- For millions of Americans, times are hard, but, apparently, Mickey Mouse could care less. He has ordered Dizney World admission ticket prices to skyrocket to a whopping $1,500--not per family, mind you, but per "guest," inc...
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Funny story: Snoop Dogg backs dope drone app

Snoop Dogg backs dope drone app

Los Angeles, California - Rolling Stoned magazine is reporting today that well known US rapper Snoop Dogg is a leading backer of an innovative $100m start-up business delivering medical marijuana by aerial drone. Mr Dogg, real name Calvin Cordoza...
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Funny story: iToons Shows Apple Logo Biting Android Robot in Crotch

iToons Shows Apple Logo Biting Android Robot in Crotch

CUPERTINO, CA - In an apparent act of retaliation, Apple's Itoons website displayed the Apple logo biting the Android robot in the groin area. Earlier today, on the Google map of Rawlpindi, Pakistan, there was an image of an Android robot relievin...
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Funny story: Prices of guitars skyrocketing - Buy one now before they cost more than you do!

Prices of guitars skyrocketing - Buy one now before they cost more than you do!

Hipsters, douche-bags, failed musicians, and people without many friends alike need to buy their guitars and fast. As summer rolls around, the beaches of the coasts are going to be flooded with morons, failing college students, hot babes and guys...
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Jack Battler
Jack Battler
Joined: 01 March 2007
Stories Written: 36

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