Funny story: Apple watches to give you the time of your life

Apple watches to give you the time of your life

Apple wants your money, as much (or as little) of it as it can get--as much being $10,000 (for Big Spenders), as little $349 (for cheapskates). That's right, the company founded by Johnny Appleseed has added wristwatches to its collection...
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Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage

Chicago, Illinois - Manufacturers of the USA's best-selling steam mop are over the moon at a recent sales surge after Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow endorsed their latest must-have add-on the All American Steam Douche Attachment. The vaginal be...
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Blank Space by Taylor Swift

New York, After joining a dating site a month ago, Taylor Swift, got tired of not finding the right person and decided to take matters into her own hands by creating a new dating site. "I felt like I was in a black space so I called my new dating...
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Funny story: Snoop Dogg backs dope drone app

Snoop Dogg backs dope drone app

Los Angeles, California - Rolling Stoned magazine is reporting today that well known US rapper Snoop Dogg is a leading backer of an innovative $100m start-up business delivering medical marijuana by aerial drone. Mr Dogg, real name Calvin Cordoza...
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Funny story: White Collar Corporate Psychopaths Not Prosecuted

White Collar Corporate Psychopaths Not Prosecuted

After its 2009 bankruptcy and its $50 billion government bailout, the bankruptcy absolved Universal Moters of existing personal injury claims, stripping the victims of their constitutional rights to have their day in court. Now, it turns out UM,...
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NewsCorpse rehires Rebekah Brooks

New York - Flame-haired uber-queen Rebekah Brooks has moved to New York in a $10m package pimping out Rupert Murdoch's new digi-acquisitions. Brooks, 69, famously survived a criminal prosecution at London's Old Bailey in a lawsuit that jailed her...
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Black Friday - The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success!

Friday, November 28th 2014 will reign as a black day in British history, black not only for the dark deeds done on that day but also for the foul American import that caused them - BLACK FRIDAY! Long accustomed to importing all new things American...
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Funny story: Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

IGNORAN, CE (Acme World News) -- Few weeks ago, it has been reported that the town of Protacio, CE bans Dota in all computer shops in that area due to increasing crime rate. Recently, this same town now bans other kinds of software, which is in fa...
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Breaking News...

Kelly Carlin Revises George Carlin's List of Words You Can't Say on TV

George Carlin's only daughter, Kelly Carlin, has updated her father's famous list of the "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television".
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Funny story: Bill Cosby to Be on Next Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice

Bill Cosby to Be on Next Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice

New York, NY Donald Trump was pleased to announce today that Bill Cosby would be one of the celebrities on his next show. Others will include Michael Richards and Paula Deen. "Dr. Cosby has requested that we make a few changes to our original for...
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Funny story: McDonalds to Hire 500 Chimpanzees In 250 Test Stores

McDonalds to Hire 500 Chimpanzees In 250 Test Stores

A major announcement from McDonald's -who like all companies forced to compete in the global marketplace - is committed to using good old American creativity and resourcefulness to beat China and India at their own game. "McDonald's will be employ...
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Funny story: SouthWest Airline's New "Pass The Bottle" Policy

SouthWest Airline's New "Pass The Bottle" Policy

Phoenix, AZ - Gas prices are on the rise once again, and once again this means that our nation's airlines are busy coming up with sneaky new tactics to gouge a few more dollars out of the old bottom line. This week, SouthWest Airlines announced it's...
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Funny story: Monsanto: 'Chips' With That... Anyone?

Monsanto: 'Chips' With That... Anyone?

MONSANTO- responsible for Agent Orange, a deadly range of organ-damaging pesticides and genetically modified crops resulting in thousands of people crippled or killed by their products and the suicides of thousands of farmers worldwide (most in the p...
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Funny story: Monsanto Seeks to Genetically Modify Food Labeling Laws

Monsanto Seeks to Genetically Modify Food Labeling Laws

Food industry giant Monsanto has announced that it will seek to genetically modify proposed food labeling laws so as to make them better able to withstand the powerful Monsanto-produced insecticide Roundup. In recent years, Monsanto has expended...
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Funny story: Building on Starbucks' Race Together Initiative New "Defend Your Position" Campaign Earning Stellar Reviews

Building on Starbucks' Race Together Initiative New "Defend Your Position" Campaign Earning Stellar Reviews

Building upon the great success of Starbucks' Race Together campaign, a rival coffee house has unveiled their new concept of "Defend Your Position". "What we found out very quickly is that people already have very set opinions on a great many sub...
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Funny story: Bill Gates Threatens World Domination

Bill Gates Threatens World Domination

Silicon Valley, CA-Self-described "richest English-speaking mother^%$@!er in the world" billionaire Bill Gates today announced that he's tired of acting like a philanthropist and administering the Melinda and Bill Gates Foundation and instead will st...
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Funny story: Flaw spotted in new Apple iWatch - Unexpected "Wank Dialling"

Flaw spotted in new Apple iWatch - Unexpected "Wank Dialling"

Santa Clara, CA- Apple acknowledged today a basic malfunction in its IWatch and says a fix is in the works. "It wank dials," said James Bender, Executive Vice-President of Product Design. iWatch owners who masturbate while wearing the watch...
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j.w.
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Joined: 04 June 2010
Stories Written: 841

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