Funny story: The "For Real" Dining Experience

The "For Real" Dining Experience

A high class restaurant has just opened its doors in Los Angeles. Catering for the Hollywood high rollers it stands by its guarantee that everything on the menu is "FOR REAL". Said proprietor Pesto Tortano who was once head chef in the Vatican kit...
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Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

KANSAS CITY, MO---The NRA, ever vigilant against liberal, extremist groups who want to take away citizens' right to bear arms, now has an enemy's list. In addition to Wallmark Cards, among its many targets are Britney Spears, the YWCA, AARP, B'nai B...
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Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

A new research study out today shows that the nations poor, as defined by poverty rates, are smoking more crack than ever now that legal pot prices are souring! "I can't even afford a roach now" said 22 year old stoner Cody Nevins. "Crack is by far t...
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Funny story: Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...
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Funny story: Wireless Carriers Want to Add "Mauled By Rabid Raccoon" to Terms of Breaking Contract

Wireless Carriers Want to Add "Mauled By Rabid Raccoon" to Terms of Breaking Contract

Washington D.C. - A conglomeration of the country's six largest wireless carriers are lobbying the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to allow them to add "Mauled by rabid raccoon" to the consequences to a consumer of breaking the contract they...
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Apple buys again - acquires Texan doorbell company

It is reported the Apple Inc has just bought a door bell company in Southern Texas for what they are insisting is a bargain price of 43 trillion US Dollars. Inside information has revealed that CEO of Apple, Tim Cook has big plans for the small do...
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Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

New York - The last time a full moon occurred on Friday the 13th, in October 2000, Rupert Murdoch was sitting pretty in his NYC NewsCorpse HQ confidently predicting Al 'Weird Al' Gore was just daze away from being elected the next President of the U...
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Funny story: Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Wall Street - Economic inflation has pushed the price of "your thoughts" to nine and a half cents ($0.095) and most investment experts agree that it is usually an extremely bad investment yielding not only no actual positive return, but it has the po...
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Breaking News...

Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.


 
Funny story: Shades of 'Ecuador judicial model' as $100m bung to German court ends F1 boss' bribery trial

Shades of 'Ecuador judicial model' as $100m bung to German court ends F1 boss' bribery trial

Munich - Not since bent NYC lawyer Steven Donziger perpetrated the mass bribery of Ecuador's justice department, judges, court officials, etc, in the notorious $19bn Chevron scam has another sovereign state's judicial system been exposed as blatantly...
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Funny story: Burger King Workers Like the Slogan Change

Burger King Workers Like the Slogan Change

Good-bye "Have it your way." Hello "Be your way." And the BK workers seem to approve. "Why should pesty customers expect everything THEIR way?" asked a gum-chewing BK worker yesterday, continuing, "what a crock." Popping his gum at the interview...
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Funny story: Upstate Pizza: "We're not related to Upstate Urology"

Upstate Pizza: "We're not related to Upstate Urology"

Upstate Pizza and Subs of Troy, NY clarified yesterday that they weren't related to Upstate Urology, another establishment, located in another part of town, and using the same name as the sub and pizza shop. David Grushim, proprietor of the eat...
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Funny story: 'We kicked Donziger's ass good and proper' Chevron tells shareholders meeting

'We kicked Donziger's ass good and proper' Chevron tells shareholders meeting

Midland, Texas - The world famous Rogues Gallery at Midland's Permain Basin Petroleum Museum got a horrible new addition this week as racketeering New York lawyer Steven Donziger was finally inducted into its corruption rankings. Acclaimed by the...
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Funny story: Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills

Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills

Self Righteous Sporting Goods Corporation recently announced that their employee health plan will no longer cover medication for erectile dis-function (ED) unless the employee is married, Christian, and seeking to procreate. The closely-held retail c...
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Funny story: NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

The slogan? Buy beautiful blinders! The horses became entrepreneurs when Mayor Bill de Blasio indicated his dislike for the horse-and-carriage trade. Faced with losing their jobs, the NYC horses galloped onto another endeavor. After years of be...
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Funny story: Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

A Fox & Friends segment on Monday warned women looking to succeed in business "not to raise their voices" and not to talk too much. Fox News host Steve Doocy introduced Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence." She suggested that w...
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Funny story: CNN Desperately Looking for New Big Story

CNN Desperately Looking for New Big Story

Rival news station CNN, otherwise known as the Cable News Network, has just announced it is actively searching for a new Story of Maximum Importance. What's that? Well, in recent years, CNN's preferred broadcast technique is choosing just one piec...
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K.C. Bell
K.C. Bell
Joined: 27 June 2004
Stories Written: 248

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