Funny story: Bear Lying in a Hammock Offered a Job

Bear Lying in a Hammock Offered a Job

He was relaxing and minding his own business when the photo went viral. The bear has told friends he fails to see why it's such an oddity. "What's so interesting about seeing someone relax in a hammock?" he asks. A major hammock maker thought i...
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Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

The British Falkland Islands are now the new owners of all Argentina's Government bonds, infrastructure shares, mining and commodity stock after an anticipated IMF approved rescue plan was implemented at 6.00 hrs this morning. The move is expected t...
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Wireless Carriers Want to Add "Mauled By Rabid Raccoon" to Terms of Breaking Contract

Washington D.C. - A conglomeration of the country's six largest wireless carriers are lobbying the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to allow them to add "Mauled by rabid raccoon" to the consequences to a consumer of breaking the contract they...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Announces Plans to Purchase The Alphabet

Donald Trump Announces Plans to Purchase The Alphabet

New York City, NY - Donald Trump has announced that he intends to buy the English alphabet and expects the deal to close before the end of July. Wall Street investors largely ignored the announcement, having become used to what are generally seen...
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Funny story: Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

Friday the 13th Full Moon roller coaster countdown for beleaguered NewsCorpse chief

New York - The last time a full moon occurred on Friday the 13th, in October 2000, Rupert Murdoch was sitting pretty in his NYC NewsCorpse HQ confidently predicting Al 'Weird Al' Gore was just daze away from being elected the next President of the U...
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Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables

Wall Street, NYC - Punch-drunk on 30 years of pimping up the global warming hoax descendants of oil tycoon John D Rockefeller made yet another strategic move to shore up their dwindling asset base last week. Brokers handling Chevron Corp's renew...
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Twitter Birdies Go On Shopping Spree

"Shop till you drop" doesn't apply only to humans. Twitter birdies, bored with their usual endeavors, have taken to shopping. Boy, have they taken to shopping! During the last few weeks, the best stores on Fifth Avenue in NYC have been packe...
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Funny story: NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

The slogan? Buy beautiful blinders! The horses became entrepreneurs when Mayor Bill de Blasio indicated his dislike for the horse-and-carriage trade. Faced with losing their jobs, the NYC horses galloped onto another endeavor. After years of be...
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Breaking News...

Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.
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Funny story: Hellfire Bank loses Argentina license

Hellfire Bank loses Argentina license

New York - Five billion dollars of the Pope's private funds are about to go up in smoke after his Manhattan-based hedge fund, the Hellfire Bank, lost its Argentinian banking licence. Along with His Holiness's five billion bucks. Hellfire has b...
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Funny story: Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Senate and Congressional candidates held a joint news conference today where they warned that ISIS and other terrorists would soon cross the border with Mexico. "We'll all be murdered in our beds, " said Republican candidate for the N.H. senate seat...
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Funny story: Burger King Workers Like the Slogan Change

Burger King Workers Like the Slogan Change

Good-bye "Have it your way." Hello "Be your way." And the BK workers seem to approve. "Why should pesty customers expect everything THEIR way?" asked a gum-chewing BK worker yesterday, continuing, "what a crock." Popping his gum at the interview...
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Funny story: Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Stores Fill Shelves With Crap In Preparation For Father's Day

Thousands of frantic Walmart, Target and K-Mart employees are busy stocking shelves this evening with useless and utter shit in preparation for Father's Day, as kids around the country begrudgingly delve into their pocket's to buy Dad something he do...
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Funny story: Apple buys again - acquires Texan doorbell company

Apple buys again - acquires Texan doorbell company

It is reported the Apple Inc has just bought a door bell company in Southern Texas for what they are insisting is a bargain price of 43 trillion US Dollars. Inside information has revealed that CEO of Apple, Tim Cook has big plans for the small do...
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Funny story: Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills

Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills

Self Righteous Sporting Goods Corporation recently announced that their employee health plan will no longer cover medication for erectile dis-function (ED) unless the employee is married, Christian, and seeking to procreate. The closely-held retail c...
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Funny story: Fast-food customers safe "for now"

Fast-food customers safe "for now"

DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...
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Funny story: Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

BUG TUSSLE, AK -- Despite its treatment of its employees, many of whom receive minimum wages and no health or other benefits, Mallwart has the reputation, whether deserved or not, of being a "family-friendly" retailer. However, in the wake of rece...
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Jeff Brone
Jeff Brone
Joined: 21 September 2007
Stories Written: 140

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