Funny story: Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Demand for old mattresses "full of fleas" has soared in recent months in the infamously hipster Dalston district in northeast London. Imported from north Manchester, the increasingly expensive showpiece is now regularly seen on balconies throughout t...
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Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...
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Sheepdog drives on motorway!

A British sheepdog behind the steering wheel of a tractor was seen driving along the M74 in England, it caused quite stir! The owner of the dog was also seen barking at his herd of sheep in a field alongside the motorway and the sheep ignored him, of...
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Funny story: 2015 Election SHOCK result!

2015 Election SHOCK result!

I've just come back in my time machine from 8th with the election result: After a hung parliament Labour bashed out a deal with UKIP. With this new government UKIP will claim victory with Britain's independence from the European Union's 'tyranny'...
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Funny story: Plymouth beggar banned from discussing the weather

Plymouth beggar banned from discussing the weather

An aggressive beggar who is believed to have targeted disabled and elderly people has been banned from talking to strangers about the weather. Anthony Fox had even led his victims to discuss more technical weather-related subjects such as the leve...
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Shock of SNP's secret plan

From our Scottish reporter Josh Wacktavish comes news that will cement the Union between England and Scotland. Agreed with an incoming Labour government are plans to provide an interest free loan to Greece to save it's ailing economy. This is the...
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Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

* Sam Barry was getting a cab home when he decided to go to the moon * Booked flight from phone and woke up at South Pole-Aitken basin, the capital crater of the moon * 19-year-old said he won't use passport as ID when he goes clubbing again...
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Funny story: Voter Confusion blamed on Twitter

Voter Confusion blamed on Twitter

Social Media is confusing voters : Tweets involving Labour are doing the Netizens' heads in : Was it the Royal Labour, or Politics Labour? Are we electing a new Government or an infant Successor to the Throne? Can a future Queen be elected? Is...
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Breaking News...

Imperial Palace Announces New Prestigious Appointment

Barack I has named Justice John Roberts as Lord Chancellor of Obamacare with specific authority to condemn all those AntiO'Carelamic terrorists to be waterboarded in perpetuity at Guantanamo Bay Keep.
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Funny story: Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

A shopkeeper who fell victim to a distraction theft says he has been overwhelmed with well wishes. A man entered the Bookshop in East Grinstead, West Sussex and asked for a cup of tea, before reaching into the shopkeeper's pockets and stealing his...
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Funny story: Woman attacks builders for improper behaviour

Woman attacks builders for improper behaviour

Verruca Fluck, a 23 year-old hairdresser from Bolton, has taken unprecedented legal action today against a gang of local builders. Miss Fluck has accused the group of acting in an entirely inappropriate and ungentlemanly manner. Allegedly, Mis...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Independence Party promises referendum following election

Isle of Wight Independence Party promises referendum following election

In a shocking addendum to their manifesto released last week, the Isle of Wight Independence Party (IWIP) has promised the island's residents a referendum on the subject of independence if they are successful in next weeks election. 'If Independen...
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Funny story: British Secret Service forced to change name under Trade Descriptions Act

British Secret Service forced to change name under Trade Descriptions Act

A copy of a leaked document shockingly suggests that the British Secret Service may soon be forced to change its name under the Trade Descriptions Act. Apparently, the number of secrets held by the department has fallen to an all-time low and a na...
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Funny story: Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

A feckless father has been banned from every single Greggs along an entire 13 mile stretch of coastland after going on a six year sausage roll addiction funded by state handouts. Jobless Mervin Gardener, 25, terrorised police, supermarket security...
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Funny story: 10 year old girl arrested after drawing hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her home

10 year old girl arrested after drawing hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her home

* Danielle Blackburn was arrested by police for drawing on the pavement outside her home in Kent * Father, Mick Blackburn, fully supports police over the arrest  A schoolgirl was arrested by police for drawing a hopscotch grid on the pavement,...
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Funny story: Criminal sues police over unflattering photo-fit

Criminal sues police over unflattering photo-fit

Career criminal, Ashley Frat, 27, has reportedly been awarded a considerable out of court settlement following his recent legal action against the Metropolitan Police. Mr Frat was convicted earlier this month for aggravated burglary following a ra...
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Funny story: Cat activists have their claws out

Cat activists have their claws out

The Cat Conservation Club is the UK's leading feline welfare charity and each year helps almost 200,000 cats and kittens through it's national network of over 250 volunteer-run branches. The club have been forced to take legal action to prevent co...
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Jack Battler
Jack Battler
Joined: 01 March 2007
Stories Written: 36

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