Funny story: Study finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year

Study finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year

Research has found that many of the UK's homeless people are more well-off than previously thought. Despite collecting just pennies in their day job filling our streets, some them took home as much as £3 million in their end of year bonuses. "Man...
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Cameron Celebrates Great Tory Truimph

David Cameron is so enthused with the reception his speech at the Conservative Party Conference received in the Daily Mail he is ordering his whole Cabinet to wear black shirts as a mark of respect. Further, the praise from the Sun has encouraged...
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Yes, Scotland Has No Bananas

Yes, Scotland has No bananas: 55% No bananas. As Katherine Hepburn once said about Fred Astaire, "Ginger Rogers made Fred more masculine." Like Ginger, Scotland made England more masculine. And as former Governor of Texas Ann Richards once pointed ou...
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Funny story: Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

A Medical Journal has published sensational clinical trial results proving that continuous wanking is not a cause of blindness. The results, published in "Better Lancit" contradicted what was commonly believed to be the truth. In the controlled e...
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Funny story: The twang's the thang!

The twang's the thang!

A massive pair of soiled silk knickers once reputedly worn by Queen Victoria has sold for almost £500 an inch. The Royal underwear with a regal 52-inch waist, plus 66-inch bust chemise, sparked a fierce bidding war when they were auctioned this we...
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England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Glasgow, Scotland As part of the agreement made to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom, the British Royal Family arrived in Glasgow today dressed in kilts, reciting Robert Bruce poetry and playing bagpipes. "I am told the family is especially war...
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Richard III - From a Jack to a King

According to two underworked Professors from the University of Leicester Richard the Third was not, as previous thought, run over by a Honda Civic driven by a myopic pensioner in a Leicester car park. Professors Jack Haas and Anne Teake having sp...
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Funny story: Out Of Control Leprosy Epidemic Sweeps Through Goole

Out Of Control Leprosy Epidemic Sweeps Through Goole

Pressure on the Oxford English Dictionary Editors and Wikipedia to describe "epidemic" as an isolated single case is mounting. Tabloids and online news agencies have long been complaining that the E word increases newspaper sales and Web hits and...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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Funny story: Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Referendum exit poll results have revealed that most Scots only realised that they were part of the U.K. when they read the referendum question. Traumatised voters were yesterday reported to be queuing up in their thousands for post traumatic str...
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Funny story: Richard The Turd found dead (1452-2014)

Richard The Turd found dead (1452-2014)

THE KING IS DEAD BUT LONG LIVED THE KING Thirteenth century monarch Richard the Turd has been found dead in a car park in Leicestershire. That was the shock revelation handed to a stunned nation by a group of archaeologists yesterday after they ha...
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Funny story: Prince Charles Is The King Of The Mole People

Prince Charles Is The King Of The Mole People

We at Back and to the Left news were going through some rich peoples rubbish (in an attempt to find priceless Faberge eggs that may have been discarded) when we came across a document. This sort of thing happens quite regularly to us so we didn't thi...
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Funny story: Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

A spokesman for the pro human pressure group "Kill All the Bastard Hamsters Brigade" (KABHB) has claimed that much like its brother rodent, the Chinese rat, the common hamster is responsible for the spread of a deadly epidemic that looks set to be...
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Funny story: Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

A doctor in Carlisle is being taken to court by one of his patients. During a meeting with a Dr Yimenez about his upcoming stomach-stapling surgery, the patient observed that the doctor had made one or two inappropriate comments about his weight.
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Funny story: Paul McCartney to Re-do Entire Beatles Catalog

Paul McCartney to Re-do Entire Beatles Catalog

London, England Living Beatle legend Sir Paul McCartney announced today that he would start re-doing the Beatles catalog the way he thinks they should have been done and will start releasing them at Christmas each year until "Linda and Rita the Meter...
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Funny story: Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish £5 £10 and £50 notes no longer required after the failed Independence bid may be handed in or posted to banks for free exchange for real money, a spokesperson for the Exchequer said this morning. The notes, notoriously difficult to purch...
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Funny story: Husband Turns Central Heating Up in October

Husband Turns Central Heating Up in October

A terrified housewife called 999 after her husband turned the central heating up to 28 degrees. Demanding to have him sectioned under the Mental Health Act, Mrs. Beryl Coldwell of Scunthorpe who was found hiding in the attic wrapped in a blanket, bra...
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Jeff Brone
Jeff Brone
Joined: 21 September 2007
Stories Written: 141

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