Funny story: Space Exploration is waste of cash and time, says Nasa insider

Space Exploration is waste of cash and time, says Nasa insider

A NASA Technician and Whistleblower has revealed that most Astronauts 'don't know shit about physics ' and only want to get to Outer Space to 'get laid', by 'easy, well-endowed female Martians, who put out'. The NASA Insider claims that ''Astrona...
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"Last One Standing"

A furious X-Factor fan slammed ITV last night after Cheryl Fernandez-Vaselini-Esperanza-Maximina's performance caused him to have a massive erection without warning! Habitual masturbator Dick Rasch, 87, suffered near blindness when he prematurely...
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Rosetta Stoned Shock

Peace probe Rosetta, Sweet Rosetta, is stoned. Georgie Fame commented 'Well, well, well' and scientists are on a high. But the news coming in from the floating lady in the sky tells us that in the beginning was weak gravity. Hardly surprising that...
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Funny story: Labour Announce 'Glass of Water Tax' to fund NHS

Labour Announce 'Glass of Water Tax' to fund NHS

Westminster was reeling earlier today when the Labour Party announced that, if elected, they would be taxing glasses of water to fund the NHS. "This follows on from yesterday's TV programme, where Myleene Klass criticised our Mansion Tax proposal,...
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Funny story: England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Glasgow, Scotland As part of the agreement made to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom, the British Royal Family arrived in Glasgow today dressed in kilts, reciting Robert Bruce poetry and playing bagpipes. "I am told the family is especially war...
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"Seal our borders" - illegal immigrant in Paddington

UKIP, right wing Tories and red-top tabloids have all today condemned the entrance of an illegal immigrant into Paddington. The suspect believed to be named as Paddington Bear was taken in my a suburban family believed to be known as 'The Browns' and...
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Groundbreaking Research: Godfrey Bloom Knows EXACTLY What He Is Doing

The media, in a somewhat ageist manner, has portrayed former UKIP golden boy Godfrey Bloom as an aging, eccentric grandfather whose mind is wandering somewhat™ . However, not everyone agrees. Yes: groundbreaking research by Guru Angus Le...
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Funny story: A666 - The A-road of The Beast

A666 - The A-road of The Beast

According to an extensive study by AD Surveys, 80% of drivers who use the A666 in Bolton are utter fuckwits who think traffic lights and box junctions are there for decoration. An unnamed spokesman said today. "The next time someone stops on the...
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Breaking News...

Ferguson explodes because of colour blind killing!

A colour blind, armed police officer killed an unarmed youth who just happened to be black and was judged not guilty by a colour free court, now everything has gone black or white; non colours BTW!
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

The Isle of Wight has yet another world record to add to the burgeoning collection of records held in Newport Town hall, when it was discovered that the World's Largest Mole Hill has been discovered in Merstone. "Not many people visit Merstone," s...
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Funny story: New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning. Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...
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Funny story: Andy Murray Crowns Himself New SNP Leader

Andy Murray Crowns Himself New SNP Leader

Still riding high off the aftermath of his #indyref tweet, Andy Murray has voted himself in as the new SNP leader, despite having left Scotland nearly a decade ago. With the old leader Alex Salmond mysteriously missing from the party, speculation...
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Funny story: Queen Joins Facebook, Mad Because Kate Won't Friend Her

Queen Joins Facebook, Mad Because Kate Won't Friend Her

London, England-Queen Elizabeth, in a flurry of technological and social networking, had just recently sent out her first Tweet. It has since been reported that the Queen joined Facebook a week ago. She spent the first couple of days playing Farm...
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Funny story: Kardashian pics: body-double comes forward

Kardashian pics: body-double comes forward

Following the release of 'those pictures' of Kim Kardashian a few days ago, we can now reveal that it was, as some predicted, nothing more than a publicity stunt, and in fact a body-double was used. And if that was not sensational enough we can also...
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Funny story: ISIS aim to take over the UK through sperm

ISIS aim to take over the UK through sperm

After the news that Britain is running out of sperm donors ISIS have moved quickly to fill the gap, sending jihadists back to the UK not to blow anything up, but to blow off. "We are a patient terrorist group," said ISIS leader, Al an Ansen. "As w...
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Funny story: New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...
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Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13

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