Funny story: Queen to Debut New Cooking Show on BBC

Queen to Debut New Cooking Show on BBC

London, UK-Buckingham Palace announced today that Queen Elizabeth will fulfill a lifelong dream of hers and debut a cooking show on the BBC this Thursday. "My mother the former Queen always said I wasn't good enough to have my own cooking show. T...
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Space Exploration is waste of cash and time, says Nasa insider

A NASA Technician and Whistleblower has revealed that most Astronauts 'don't know shit about physics ' and only want to get to Outer Space to 'get laid', by 'easy, well-endowed female Martians, who put out'. The NASA Insider claims that ''Astrona...
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Queen and Prince Philip Keep Location a Secret to Hide from Charles and Camille

London, UK It was leaked by Buckingham Palace that the reason that no one knows where the Queen and Prince Philip are holidaying is that they wanted to go somewhere where Charles and Camilla can't locate them. "I don't want ONE MORE holiday ruined...
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Funny story: It's big down under Bruce!

It's big down under Bruce!

It's that time of year again folks when ITV, having trawled umpteen nationwide casting agencies sign up an assortment of nondescript-would-be-celebrities and allow them to jet off to the land of Oz for a few weeks to fornicate with each other. Ye...
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Funny story: Queen Joins Facebook, Mad Because Kate Won't Friend Her

Queen Joins Facebook, Mad Because Kate Won't Friend Her

London, England-Queen Elizabeth, in a flurry of technological and social networking, had just recently sent out her first Tweet. It has since been reported that the Queen joined Facebook a week ago. She spent the first couple of days playing Farm...
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Food banking crisis worsens

In the last year food banks in the UK have increased lending four-fold, and now owe a debt greater than the value of the food banks themselves. Other countries have similar problems, but the UK is the centre of the European food banking industry. Con...
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UKIP triumph in Rochester & Screwed

Kent - A British far-tight party has swept to orifice in a K*nt by-election won by some turncoat ex-Tory twat. Mark Feckless, 69, won the Rochester and Screwed by-election by 2,920 votes after coming second in a previous Pole. Uh, poll. UK Prim...
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Funny story: "Seal our borders" - illegal immigrant in Paddington

"Seal our borders" - illegal immigrant in Paddington

UKIP, right wing Tories and red-top tabloids have all today condemned the entrance of an illegal immigrant into Paddington. The suspect believed to be named as Paddington Bear was taken in my a suburban family believed to be known as 'The Browns' and...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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Funny story: ISIS aim to take over the UK through sperm

ISIS aim to take over the UK through sperm

After the news that Britain is running out of sperm donors ISIS have moved quickly to fill the gap, sending jihadists back to the UK not to blow anything up, but to blow off. "We are a patient terrorist group," said ISIS leader, Al an Ansen. "As w...
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Funny story: Kippers flounder over Euro-footy plaices

Kippers flounder over Euro-footy plaices

Nigel Farage has always been more of a coelacanth - an extinct fossil - than a bream come true. But now his "whaling" threatens the flying fish of his populist campaign as a cod-right winger. But enough fishy metaphors. UKIP members - commonly ref...
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Funny story: Rosetta Stoned Shock

Rosetta Stoned Shock

Peace probe Rosetta, Sweet Rosetta, is stoned. Georgie Fame commented 'Well, well, well' and scientists are on a high. But the news coming in from the floating lady in the sky tells us that in the beginning was weak gravity. Hardly surprising that...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...
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Funny story: Major Stores Reach Agreement On Cathedral And Church Use

Major Stores Reach Agreement On Cathedral And Church Use

Several well known stores with high profile T.V. Christmas advertisements have reached agreement with bishops in the U.K. to utilise the huge amounts of prime City Centre Cathedral and Church interior and exterior space. Worshippers will be able to...
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Funny story: Labour shadow cabinet minister apologises for spray painting a phallic symbol on a Rochester voter's wall and tweeting a photo of it

Labour shadow cabinet minister apologises for spray painting a phallic symbol on a Rochester voter's wall and tweeting a photo of it

Labour front bencher Seely Kau today expressed "regret for any offence I may have caused" after tweeting a photograph she had taken of a Rochester UKIP voter's house on which she had spray painted a phallus. Ms Kau, who lives in a £3 million house...
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Funny story: Thousands Of Turkeys To Be Shot At Buckingham Palace For Prince Philip's Testimonial Shoot

Thousands Of Turkeys To Be Shot At Buckingham Palace For Prince Philip's Testimonial Shoot

Buckingham Palace will be the venue for this year's Royal Christmas Eve Turkey Shoot. Prince Philip will fire a cannon to disturb 5000 turkeys, making them fly as easy targets across the special garden party arsenal of armed toffs. This year's...
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Funny story: European Court rules that Germany can put Illegal Immigrants onto the next European Space Shuttle

European Court rules that Germany can put Illegal Immigrants onto the next European Space Shuttle

A Landmark decision by the European Court that allows European governments to send Illegal Immigrants into Outer Space on the European Space Shuttle has been welcomed by the British and German governments. The ruling concerns a family of twenty seven...
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victor nicholas
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Joined: 20 April 2008
Stories Written: 314

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