Funny story: Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

A Medical Journal has published sensational clinical trial results proving that continuous wanking is not a cause of blindness. The results, published in "Better Lancit" contradicted what was commonly believed to be the truth. In the controlled e...
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Queen Said to be Responsible for Demise of Seaside Tourist Spot

Queen Lizard II found herself at the centre of a media storm last night after it was revealed that she did not know how to spell the name of the once popular Lancashire seaside town, Morecambe. Palace sources admitted the monarch's blunder but played...
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Cameron Celebrates Great Tory Truimph

David Cameron is so enthused with the reception his speech at the Conservative Party Conference received in the Daily Mail he is ordering his whole Cabinet to wear black shirts as a mark of respect. Further, the praise from the Sun has encouraged...
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Funny story: Purring Queen Raises More Questions Than Answers

Purring Queen Raises More Questions Than Answers

Reports that claim The Queen "purred" when David Cameron told her about Scotland's rejection of independence, have raised more questions than answers and have the British public demanding to know what sort of woman their Queen really is. The pri...
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Funny story: Conservative Party Conference Marred By Lewd Twitter

Conservative Party Conference Marred By Lewd Twitter

The start of the Conservative Party conference on Sunday was marred by a lewd twitter apparently eminating from a caged bird outside the building. The bird was identified as Acridotheres tristis, or the common Myna. Nigel Farage who was passing at ti...
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Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

The Pope has accepted the plea from Theresa May, Brittain's Home Secretary, to look into the alleged sex scandals among the British Establishment. 'We do not want someone too close to Brittain' she told a rowdy House of Commons 'The Pope is the id...
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Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

A doctor in Carlisle is being taken to court by one of his patients. During a meeting with a Dr Yimenez about his upcoming stomach-stapling surgery, the patient observed that the doctor had made one or two inappropriate comments about his weight.
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Funny story: Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

A spokesman for the pro human pressure group "Kill All the Bastard Hamsters Brigade" (KABHB) has claimed that much like its brother rodent, the Chinese rat, the common hamster is responsible for the spread of a deadly epidemic that looks set to be...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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Funny story: Paul McCartney to Re-do Entire Beatles Catalog

Paul McCartney to Re-do Entire Beatles Catalog

London, England Living Beatle legend Sir Paul McCartney announced today that he would start re-doing the Beatles catalog the way he thinks they should have been done and will start releasing them at Christmas each year until "Linda and Rita the Meter...
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Funny story: Politicians Not Worth It

Politicians Not Worth It

A fringe meeting at our local pub has been given an accolade by the pub clientele when a meeting was secretly taped. One of our members is clearly heard saying: 'Our MP's are not worth it. They are all liars and cheats. I wouldn't pay them two pen...
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Funny story: Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

London, England In a strongly anticipated move, the entire British Commonwealth voted to bypass Prince Charles in favor of his son, Prince William. "Charles is just so stodgy, he will have the whole British Empire asleep before he is even half-way...
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Funny story: Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Opposition parties have reputedly held meetings with media watchdogs with a view to banning pointless Bank Holiday sofa advertisements on television. T.V. audiences have long been confused by the bombardment of channels with advertisements for sofas...
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Funny story: Cat Bites Hamster's Head Off In Whiskas Orgy

Cat Bites Hamster's Head Off In Whiskas Orgy

Peers Morgan, the ex 1960s D.J. famous for hosting "Ready Steady Rock" was yesterday said to be furious at television news helicopters which have been circling his council house for three weeks. This morning police helicopters began an intensive...
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Funny story: Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

The systematic addition of chemicals to Scottish water supplies is to resume to keep rebellion levels down. Additional chemical dosing will continue in keeping with pre-referendum Westminster policy, effectively maintaining a docile disposition in th...
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Funny story: Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish £5 £10 and £50 notes no longer required after the failed Independence bid may be handed in or posted to banks for free exchange for real money, a spokesperson for the Exchequer said this morning. The notes, notoriously difficult to purch...
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Funny story: Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Shocking revelations have risen from inside Whitehall, where today Prime Minister David Cameron revealed to all that Scotland was adopted when it was a very early age. "It gives me no pleasure to reveal that Scotland was an orphan country when we fo...
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Jeff Brone
Jeff Brone
Joined: 21 September 2007
Stories Written: 141

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