Going for Gold

Funny story: Going for Gold
With the onset of the 2016 Rio Olympics BBC Executives had been concerned about the overall drop in viewing figures compared to those of the London Olympics, at the last estimate a frightening 32%. Seemingly, interest in the Rio games had been far...
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Moscow Mashup

Funny story: Moscow Mashup
Russian mafia boss Vladimir Putin has today declared that he is going to "fix" Turkey and Russia's relationship. He made the statement from a balcony overlooking thousands of Moscovites....Moscowellians....people in Moscow queuing up for a loaf of br...
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Suicidal Man Orders Chocolate Milk In Pub, Fights With Police

Funny story: Suicidal Man Orders Chocolate Milk In Pub, Fights With Police
A US man tried to commit suicide by cop outside of a Brixton pub and learned that not all police respond with lethal force as a first measure. Barkeep Angela DeBroder described what happened that night at Jubilee Pub and Bistro. "Anyone could...
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Anti-drugs campaign causes controversy

Funny story: Anti-drugs campaign causes controversy
The Police Service of Northern Ireland has broken records worldwide today as they began their new anti-drugs campaign and immediately reduced Belfast's drug consumption to zero. However, gay rights activists have called the campaign "crass" and "unbe...
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New populist Angry Shouting Party wins first seat

Funny story: New populist Angry Shouting Party wins first seat
A political party aimed at catching irate votes has shocked Westminster this week by winning its first seat in the Clacton by-election. The Angry Shouting Party was founded by Alan Cross, a door-to-door door salesman who was inspired to start the mov...
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Watson Revealed as a Trotskyite

Funny story: Watson Revealed as a Trotskyite
Labour's Deputy Leader, Tom Watson - known to his friends in the Corbynist Momentum movement as Uncle Tom - has been revealed as a closet Trotskyist. Documents made public by Wikileaks show a series of emails between Watson and Trotsky acolytes go...
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South Yorkshire Cops Caught Getting High After Claiming THC Poisoning

Funny story: South Yorkshire Cops Caught Getting High After Claiming THC Poisoning
Two South Yorkshire police officers were arrested for possession and use of marijuana and will likely lose their jobs because of it. Ironically the very same two officers were on sick leave for supposed THC poisoning in a marijuana tainted burger cas...
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Gary Glitter accused of "possessing Gary Glitter records"

Funny story: Gary Glitter accused of "possessing Gary Glitter records"
Shamed entertainer and glam rock star Gary Glitter faces new charges at London's Old Bailey today accused of possessing Gary Glitter records and conspiracy to record a new album. Mr. Glitter, which I suspect may be a stage name, is understood to...
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Breaking News...

Kenyan Athletes forced to go for a "Drug Run!"

Kenyan Olympic team were forced to live in a Brazilian Favela for 3 days because they had no money left for the tickets home. They earned their tickets back by "Drug Running" it's a new Olympic sport!
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Funny story: British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners

British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners

In a bold move to reduce prison violence, the British government has announced that it will be taking away guns and knives from prisoners. The policy, which will be introduced in early 2017, will mean that prisoners in UK jails will no longer be able...
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Funny story: Mick Jagger enters Labour Party Leadership Contest

Mick Jagger enters Labour Party Leadership Contest

Backed by his sidekick, Keith Richards, septuagenarian Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones announced at a press conference yesterday that he will be competing for the Labour Party leadership currently being contested by, well, anyone in the party who c...
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Funny story: The Chimp's On You

The Chimp's On You

A rare hairless chimp called "Chimp Chop" has died unexpectedly his keepers say. He was unexpectedly hit by a bus after unexpectedly fleeing from his enclosure and out onto a busy road. The bus driver was unnerved by the unexpected appearance...
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Funny story: All gingers are bastards: Official!

All gingers are bastards: Official!

Only one year after opening, the Prestige University of Heapey (PUH, part of UCLAN) has released a report on DNA claiming that all ginger haired people are illegitimate. Professor Heinz Binz told me today. "The guilt experienced during illegitimat...
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Funny story: 9th Circle of Hell or No 10 Downing Street: Politics of Trust Makes Much Needed Return to UK

9th Circle of Hell or No 10 Downing Street: Politics of Trust Makes Much Needed Return to UK

A British Politician has set out his unifying principle of bring the trust back into British Political Life. "And its because I am so completely trustworthy," says the unidentified politician, "that I am just the man for this particular role."...
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Funny story: Farage, Cameron & Bojo to star in "Bridge over the River Thames!"

Farage, Cameron & Bojo to star in "Bridge over the River Thames!"

Hollywood have been so fascinated with the parallel campaigns, Brexit and Trump, they have decided to make a revamp of that classic war film "Bridge over the river Kwai" and this latest version is called "Bridge over the River Thames!" Farage, Boj...
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Funny story: Arsenal: The UK's Injury Specialists

Arsenal: The UK's Injury Specialists

Arsenals latest "win a all expenses paid long term holiday" winner is giant defensive liability Per Mertesacker, accepting the honour by picking up a injury in the meaningless friendly against Lens. Arsenals injury record, which is occasionally th...
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Funny story: Inquest into Disappearance of London Taxicab Passenger

Inquest into Disappearance of London Taxicab Passenger

LONDON: An in-cab surveillance video has been leaked on the internet prior to the Scotland Yard investigation of its driver Fintan Murphy in London. Murphy is suspected in the disappearance of his middle-aged passenger Julian Forsyth Davidson-Clar...
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Noshing Mink
Noshing Mink
Joined: 05 April 2007
Stories Written: 321

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