Funny story: Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Discarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London

Demand for old mattresses "full of fleas" has soared in recent months in the infamously hipster Dalston district in northeast London. Imported from north Manchester, the increasingly expensive showpiece is now regularly seen on balconies throughout t...
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Road reopens after Asda receipt is found on M2 near Sittingbourne

A section of the M2 has reopened - more than eight hours after an Asda receipt was found near a slip road. Highways Agency experts say the receipt has now been removed from near the exit slip road at Junction 5 of the M2 coastbound carriageway for...
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Teenager went for drunken night out in Oldham... and woke up in a crater on the moon

* Sam Barry was getting a cab home when he decided to go to the moon * Booked flight from phone and woke up at South Pole-Aitken basin, the capital crater of the moon * 19-year-old said he won't use passport as ID when he goes clubbing again...
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Funny story: Altzeimer's Cure Worries

Altzeimer's Cure Worries

Members of Lord Janner's family are reported to be very pleased about the news that a cure for Altzeimers disease has been discovered. The latest discovery comes just in time for Lord Janner to clear his name in an open trial of all suggestions th...
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Funny story: Cat activists have their claws out

Cat activists have their claws out

The Cat Conservation Club is the UK's leading feline welfare charity and each year helps almost 200,000 cats and kittens through it's national network of over 250 volunteer-run branches. The club have been forced to take legal action to prevent co...
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Pensioner kept 26 toys in 'hazardous' conditions at his home where they were deprived of cuddles

* Inspectors found toys in appalling conditions at the house in Liverpool * The toys had been kept in squalid conditions by Raymond Coll, 66 * Mr Coll initially denied he was the owner and claimed he was a burglar * Officials also found a la...
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The meaning of 'Happiness'?

'Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess, I thank the Lord that I've been blessed, With more than my share of happiness'. Many will recognise these lyrics as the chorus to the 1964 hit 'Happiness', made famous by the buck-toothed,...
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Funny story: Dudley Council to clamp down on irresponsible dog-owners

Dudley Council to clamp down on irresponsible dog-owners

Residents of Dudley, in the West Midlands, have become so enraged with irresponsible dog owners who allow their pets to foul in public places and then fail to clear up their mess, that they have demanded that the local council take drastic action.
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Breaking News...

Imperial Palace Announces New Prestigious Appointment

Barack I has named Justice John Roberts as Lord Chancellor of Obamacare with specific authority to condemn all those AntiO'Carelamic terrorists to be waterboarded in perpetuity at Guantanamo Bay Keep.
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Funny story: Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

A feckless father has been banned from every single Greggs along an entire 13 mile stretch of coastland after going on a six year sausage roll addiction funded by state handouts. Jobless Mervin Gardener, 25, terrorised police, supermarket security...
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Funny story: Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...
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Funny story: Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

A shopkeeper who fell victim to a distraction theft says he has been overwhelmed with well wishes. A man entered the Bookshop in East Grinstead, West Sussex and asked for a cup of tea, before reaching into the shopkeeper's pockets and stealing his...
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Funny story: Sheepdog drives on motorway!

Sheepdog drives on motorway!

A British sheepdog behind the steering wheel of a tractor was seen driving along the M74 in England, it caused quite stir! The owner of the dog was also seen barking at his herd of sheep in a field alongside the motorway and the sheep ignored him, of...
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Funny story: Sky customer takes 96 hours and fails to cancel contract

Sky customer takes 96 hours and fails to cancel contract

A customer who spent 96 hours online trying to end his contract with Sky TV is now suffering from mental exhaustion. Digbert Dongle, 46, from Ventor on the Isle of Wight logged onto the Sky online chat service, thinking that he would be able to ca...
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Funny story: Man deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS

Man deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS

Bernard Buttspike, 44, is arguably the UK's fattest man at a gut-busting 71 stone. Bernard, who has never had a job and who is estimated to have received over half a million pounds in benefits over the last 25 years, has long claimed that he is 't...
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Funny story: Voter Confusion blamed on Twitter

Voter Confusion blamed on Twitter

Social Media is confusing voters : Tweets involving Labour are doing the Netizens' heads in : Was it the Royal Labour, or Politics Labour? Are we electing a new Government or an infant Successor to the Throne? Can a future Queen be elected? Is...
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Funny story: 10 year old girl arrested after drawing hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her home

10 year old girl arrested after drawing hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her home

* Danielle Blackburn was arrested by police for drawing on the pavement outside her home in Kent * Father, Mick Blackburn, fully supports police over the arrest  A schoolgirl was arrested by police for drawing a hopscotch grid on the pavement,...
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Jack Battler
Jack Battler
Joined: 01 March 2007
Stories Written: 36

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