Funny story: Doctors Can Choose To See Only Healthy People Under New Agreement

Doctors Can Choose To See Only Healthy People Under New Agreement

Following recent reports which incited outrage when it was revealed that doctors were opting out of working unsociable hours, new proposals have been passed that allow them the option of not having to see patients at all. Under the new scheme doct...
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Andy Murray Crowns Himself New SNP Leader

Still riding high off the aftermath of his #indyref tweet, Andy Murray has voted himself in as the new SNP leader, despite having left Scotland nearly a decade ago. With the old leader Alex Salmond mysteriously missing from the party, speculation...
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I'm long, long, long gone.

Police have issued details regarding the decomposed body of an elderly man who was recently discovered in a Tesco car park in Romford, Essex, where they say he may have lain dead for many, many years or more! Officers found the badly decomposed bo...
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Funny story: Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

London, England In a strongly anticipated move, the entire British Commonwealth voted to bypass Prince Charles in favor of his son, Prince William. "Charles is just so stodgy, he will have the whole British Empire asleep before he is even half-way...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

The Isle of Wight has yet another world record to add to the burgeoning collection of records held in Newport Town hall, when it was discovered that the World's Largest Mole Hill has been discovered in Merstone. "Not many people visit Merstone," s...
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Kardashian pics: body-double comes forward

Following the release of 'those pictures' of Kim Kardashian a few days ago, we can now reveal that it was, as some predicted, nothing more than a publicity stunt, and in fact a body-double was used. And if that was not sensational enough we can also...
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Shop A Celebrity Campaign Offers £10,000 As T.V. Trials Dry Up

Major media companies have offered huge inducements to fill the gap left by trial reporting on T.V. as next week sees the end of yet another celebrity ordeal. Rumours of rewards such as £10,000 in Woolworths vouchers and free video hires for a year f...
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Funny story: Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

The systematic addition of chemicals to Scottish water supplies is to resume to keep rebellion levels down. Additional chemical dosing will continue in keeping with pre-referendum Westminster policy, effectively maintaining a docile disposition in th...
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Breaking News...

New York now belongs to the Polar Circle!

The deep freeze hitting northeast US has forced Google Maps to enter the area into the Polar circle. Eskimos and Polar Bears were seen playing in the snow after deserting their global-warmed homeland!
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Funny story: Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

A spokesman for the pro human pressure group "Kill All the Bastard Hamsters Brigade" (KABHB) has claimed that much like its brother rodent, the Chinese rat, the common hamster is responsible for the spread of a deadly epidemic that looks set to be...
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Funny story: Astronaut Badly Burned In Bizarre Porridge Accident

Astronaut Badly Burned In Bizarre Porridge Accident

Astronaut Nigel Armstrong was this morning recovering at the serious burns unit in Norwich South Infirmary. After a malfunction caused Armstrong, dubbed "The Man In The Moon", to come down too soon, he inexplicably asked several bystanders the way to...
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Funny story: Shrinking Cult of Scamatology to Offer Incentives to New Members in Membership Drive

Shrinking Cult of Scamatology to Offer Incentives to New Members in Membership Drive

East Grinstead, St Hill, West Sussex, England Church of Scamatology dwarf-like leader 'Lil Davey Makemerich made an announcement at the cult's annual fleecing party where all the parishioners that can afford to fly to England at a moment's notice are...
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Funny story: Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

The Pope has accepted the plea from Theresa May, Brittain's Home Secretary, to look into the alleged sex scandals among the British Establishment. 'We do not want someone too close to Brittain' she told a rowdy House of Commons 'The Pope is the id...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney to Re-do Entire Beatles Catalog

Paul McCartney to Re-do Entire Beatles Catalog

London, England Living Beatle legend Sir Paul McCartney announced today that he would start re-doing the Beatles catalog the way he thinks they should have been done and will start releasing them at Christmas each year until "Linda and Rita the Meter...
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Funny story: Queen Falls Asleep During Prince Charles Speech

Queen Falls Asleep During Prince Charles Speech

Buckingham Palace, London, England-Queen Elizabeth, as did most of the rest of the audience, fell asleep during a Prince Charles speech yesterday. "All he had to do was say 'gardening' and I was out" said the Queen. "It at least used to take long...
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Funny story: Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Opposition parties have reputedly held meetings with media watchdogs with a view to banning pointless Bank Holiday sofa advertisements on television. T.V. audiences have long been confused by the bombardment of channels with advertisements for sofas...
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Funny story: A666 - The A-road of The Beast

A666 - The A-road of The Beast

According to an extensive study by AD Surveys, 80% of drivers who use the A666 in Bolton are utter fuckwits who think traffic lights and box junctions are there for decoration. An unnamed spokesman said today. "The next time someone stops on the...
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Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13

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