Funny story: "Seal our borders" - illegal immigrant in Paddington

"Seal our borders" - illegal immigrant in Paddington

UKIP, right wing Tories and red-top tabloids have all today condemned the entrance of an illegal immigrant into Paddington. The suspect believed to be named as Paddington Bear was taken in my a suburban family believed to be known as 'The Browns' and...
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"Hello Ian" celebrated around the world

Millions of people have been taking part in special events and parties to raise awareness of Ians everywhere, and to say hello to them. From Ian McCaskill to Ian Botham, from Ian Krankie to Ian Duncan Smith, all of them are remembered today. "Hell...
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George Osborne Diagnosed With Night of the Living Dead Syndrome

Stunned PM David Cameron has denied prior knowledge that side kick George Osborne is a long term victim of Night of the Living Dead Syndrome In an emotional press conference held this afternoon, the PM rushed to calm fears that the zombie Chancellor...
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Funny story: New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...
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Funny story: University's New Princess B.A. Attracts Thousands Of Phone Inquiries

University's New Princess B.A. Attracts Thousands Of Phone Inquiries

Mothers with small girls throughout Britain have been besieging colleges such as Oxford with inquiries about degrees and doctorates in Princessology. The new course has been offered to cater for tens of thousands of keen children obsessed with dr...
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Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Opposition parties have reputedly held meetings with media watchdogs with a view to banning pointless Bank Holiday sofa advertisements on television. T.V. audiences have long been confused by the bombardment of channels with advertisements for sofas...
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Astronaut Badly Burned In Bizarre Porridge Accident

Astronaut Nigel Armstrong was this morning recovering at the serious burns unit in Norwich South Infirmary. After a malfunction caused Armstrong, dubbed "The Man In The Moon", to come down too soon, he inexplicably asked several bystanders the way to...
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Funny story: Dozens of Palace servants have dumped their positions and signed up to Islamic State

Dozens of Palace servants have dumped their positions and signed up to Islamic State

London - The Queen is not amused to learn that dozens of her slave labor peons have legged it to Syria where the Islamic State national minimum weekly wage is two Kalashnikovs and five hundred squid. It means there is no longer anybody available...
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Breaking News...

Dozens of Women Claim Cosby Never Raped Them

Although it's taken since 2006 when rape allegations against Cosby first emerged, his PR firm has managed to find MANY women who encountered Cosby but were never raped by him (to their knowledge).
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Funny story: I'm long, long, long gone.

I'm long, long, long gone.

Police have issued details regarding the decomposed body of an elderly man who was recently discovered in a Tesco car park in Romford, Essex, where they say he may have lain dead for many, many years or more! Officers found the badly decomposed bo...
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Funny story: Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

The Pope has accepted the plea from Theresa May, Brittain's Home Secretary, to look into the alleged sex scandals among the British Establishment. 'We do not want someone too close to Brittain' she told a rowdy House of Commons 'The Pope is the id...
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Funny story: Scientists in Ebola Virus Questionnaire Doesn't Go Far Enough Claim

Scientists in Ebola Virus Questionnaire Doesn't Go Far Enough Claim

Outraged medics have slammed Government claims to be screening new arrivals to the United Kingdom for Ebola Virus with seemingly pointless questionnaires about their grooming habits. The controversial form is being issued by Customs and Excise staff...
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Funny story: Out Of Control Leprosy Epidemic Sweeps Through Goole

Out Of Control Leprosy Epidemic Sweeps Through Goole

Pressure on the Oxford English Dictionary Editors and Wikipedia to describe "epidemic" as an isolated single case is mounting. Tabloids and online news agencies have long been complaining that the E word increases newspaper sales and Web hits and...
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Funny story: Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

A Medical Journal has published sensational clinical trial results proving that continuous wanking is not a cause of blindness. The results, published in "Better Lancit" contradicted what was commonly believed to be the truth. In the controlled e...
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Funny story: Politicians Not Worth It

Politicians Not Worth It

A fringe meeting at our local pub has been given an accolade by the pub clientele when a meeting was secretly taped. One of our members is clearly heard saying: 'Our MP's are not worth it. They are all liars and cheats. I wouldn't pay them two pen...
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Funny story: It's just Wronga - Pocketmoney Loan Co. opens in Glasgow School!

It's just Wronga - Pocketmoney Loan Co. opens in Glasgow School!

Government big-wigs may be forced to act if notorious Payday lenders continue their expansion into the children's pocketmoney market. Payday loan sharks Wronga ! see Easterend Primary School in Glasgow as the ideal trial point in the UK for their con...
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Funny story: It's big down under Bruce!

It's big down under Bruce!

It's that time of year again folks when ITV, having trawled umpteen nationwide casting agencies sign up an assortment of nondescript-would-be-celebrities and allow them to jet off to the land of Oz for a few weeks to fornicate with each other. Ye...
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Paul T Horgan
Paul T Horgan
Joined: 09 October 2009
Stories Written: 20

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