Funny story: Nicola Sturgeon sells 'Great Seal of Scotland'

Nicola Sturgeon sells 'Great Seal of Scotland'

With the General Election only weeks away, it is rumoured that the Scottish First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has sold the Great Seal of Scotland in order to boost the SNP election war-chest. Strictly speaking, the Great Seal of Scotland was abolis...
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Stressed-out pollsters admit they have no clue who'll win the election

The general election is now less than 6 weeks away, making this the busy season for polling companies. With the election looking harder to call than BT customer service on a Sunday afternoon, these pollsters have been working round the clock to crunc...
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Boris Johnson and supper chums asked to leave Toppo's Restaurant after lewd comments

Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, announced at Toppo's Restaurant in WC1 yesterday that the word Conservatory is a combo of the words Conservative and Tory. He reminded his supper dining chums that conservatories originated in the 16th century when...
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Funny story: Beware The Sabre-Tooth Lawyer!

Beware The Sabre-Tooth Lawyer!

A man thought to be "Lawyer" was spotted lurking outside Midlands Bank in Kensington, London, yesterday. It is not known what type of Lawyer he was... but all are dangerous. This one was heavily disguised in a pinstripe suit and carried an umbrella a...
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Funny story: Tory Party to lose election after Angel from Heaven tells poverty stricken single mum not to worry

Tory Party to lose election after Angel from Heaven tells poverty stricken single mum not to worry

A single mother, struggling to get by on the two low paid jobs , says she has was visited by an Angel the other night. The mother who has being trying to scrape money together to buy herself shoes but put her kids first, says the Angel has assured he...
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Eric Pickles Replaced by Dugong in Election Battle

Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Eric Pickles is to be replaced by a dugong in the General Election. The shock history-making revelation was made in an extraordinary constituency meeting in Brentwood and Ongar yesterday. "I...
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Scottish Labour Leader Jim Murphy's head size preventing him from leading normal life

Jim Murphy, leader of the Scottish Labour Party, has admitted struggling with enlarged head syndrome which kicked in as a teenager and worsened as he got older. Jim's head accounts for 30% of his entire body weight and that it's becoming harder to st...
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Funny story: Vindictive parcel delivery driver Thomas Watkins dismissed from DCP parcels. Warrington sleeps easier now.

Vindictive parcel delivery driver Thomas Watkins dismissed from DCP parcels. Warrington sleeps easier now.

DCP parcels in Warrington have confirmed the dismissal of delivery driver Thomas Tomkins after his his historical grudge campaign on customers he knew. Thomas Tomkins, a well known town drunk and street fighter, carried out his eleven month caree...
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Breaking News...

Original Whitney Houston Lyrics Found

Who knew? Whitney's 1985 Smash Hit, 'Saving All My Love For You,' was originally penned for a porno flick. The original lyrics appear to have been, 'Shaving All My Muff For You.'
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Funny story: Party Leaders stop at nothing to gain votes

Party Leaders stop at nothing to gain votes

Kissing babies, stroking hedgehogs, now the Election Candidates are ready to take part in Sunday Night Dramas and Reality TV, to up their ratings. We understand that Nigel Farage will appear in a crowd scene in 'Poldark', as an angered 'winnower',...
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Funny story: 'I swear' political ad runs in to trouble as Cameron overheard swearing

'I swear' political ad runs in to trouble as Cameron overheard swearing

The 'Ballot Ballad', a Skye News mash up presenting the Political Leaders as ready to promise ANYTHING, in their bid for votes, has run into difficulty. A bootleg version of the piece includes audio of the PM , using most un Eton - like language,...
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Funny story: The meaning of 'Happiness'?

The meaning of 'Happiness'?

'Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess, I thank the Lord that I've been blessed, With more than my share of happiness'. Many will recognise these lyrics as the chorus to the 1964 hit 'Happiness', made famous by the buck-toothed,...
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Funny story: St Martins well-man clinic patient numbers rocket - Nurse Beverly Blythe Bristol puts awareness first

St Martins well-man clinic patient numbers rocket - Nurse Beverly Blythe Bristol puts awareness first

St Martin's Well-Man clinic in Newcastle is proving to be a leading beacon in testicular cancer awareness in the United Kingdom. From its early foundations in the 1980's till present time, the clinic has been growing from two or three out-patients a...
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Funny story: World's first perpetual bounce football prototype lost during first presentation.

World's first perpetual bounce football prototype lost during first presentation.

You may remember Ralph Effelburger and his failed invention the Airmet, the world's first airbag motor cycle helmet. Well he's back again after the launch of the Go-Go perpetual football which went seriously wrong for him at the Marriott Hotel car pa...
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Funny story: Gallop Poll Dead Heat

Gallop Poll Dead Heat

The latest Gallop Poll on the General Election result for May 7th places the riders in the Big Election Stakes at Sandown Park neck and neck. However a Scottish wind could give the Labour horse Military Band a slight boost that will make him the w...
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Funny story: Cat activists have their claws out

Cat activists have their claws out

The Cat Conservation Club is the UK's leading feline welfare charity and each year helps almost 200,000 cats and kittens through it's national network of over 250 volunteer-run branches. The club have been forced to take legal action to prevent co...
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Funny story: BBC tea lady Mavis Mullen arrested over allegations of historical sex offences dating back to the 1970s

BBC tea lady Mavis Mullen arrested over allegations of historical sex offences dating back to the 1970s

Yet another arrest at the BBC yesterday as trolley lady, Mavis Mullen, was named publicly on Twitter for historical sex offences dating back to the 1970's. Mavis, now 89, had plagued the corridors and offices at the BBC targeting young men while di...
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Farida Benamar
Farida Benamar
Joined: 17 July 2008
Stories Written: 34

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