Bing Crosby Gets A Bong

Funny story: Bing Crosby Gets A Bong
The legendary vocalist Bing Crosby, who recently helped David Cameron back into No 10, has been given a bong - he is now Sir Bong Cosby and is currently out on bail in the US after allegations against him of sexual misbehaviour. The old groaner ha...
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Betting for Britain: Osborne goes to the dogs...and horses

Funny story: Betting for Britain: Osborne goes to the dogs...and horses
As stock markets become more volatile and interest rates remain pitifully low, George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, is looking for lucrative alternatives to invest the nation's surplus income, and has discovered a genuine money-spinner. Osbor...
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Phwoar and Peace!

Funny story: Phwoar and Peace!
With the news that it has been 'sexed up' the new BBC 're-telling' of Tolstoy's achingly stunning saga, War and Peace, promises to be a masturbators dream. Any attempt to do justice to the late great authors work has been jettisoned to appeal to a...
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Revised UK Department Of Health Guidance On Alcohol Consumption Meets With Widespread Anger And Criticism

Funny story: Revised UK Department Of Health Guidance On Alcohol Consumption Meets With Widespread Anger And Criticism
Revised UK Department of Health guidance on alcohol consumption has met with widespread anger and criticism. 'Government cuts have now gone too far,' said John Smith, a typical British drinker. 'First they reduce spending on essential public servi...
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Sex Ordinary School in Trouble

Funny story: Sex Ordinary School in Trouble
A pupil at Granchester Comprehensive has caused trouble for the school with a spelling mistake. He sent an tweet to a friend that he was going to a 'sex ordinary school' when he meant secondary school. This slip resulted in the media descending...
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Petticoats and Davy Lamps

Funny story: Petticoats and Davy Lamps
Following the discriminatory wristband scandal in Cardiff, where refugees were required to wear coloured bands to ensure they could be identified by staff serving meals, the government has apologized unreservedly and has introduced measures which, th...
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"Walk this way..." School curriculum to include lessons in carriage and deportment

Funny story: "Walk this way..." School curriculum to include lessons in carriage and deportment
Carriage and Deportment is to be introduced as a compulsory subject in a pilot project in British schools as of the new school year, with the aim of preparing British youth in, well, how to walk and stand around. Little known to the public, world...
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An Englishman named George Bush is jailed for selling dead monkey heads and having beastiality images

Funny story: An Englishman named George Bush is jailed for selling dead monkey heads and having beastiality images
LONDON, England - Some psycho named George Bush (no, he's from the Erith section of London, England, and he is not, and I will repeat, he is not from the powerful, influential, Republican, Texas family of U.S. Presidents), has been jailed for 14 mon...
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Breaking News...

Trump has no need of prayer . . .

. . . says he can talk to himself anytime he wants to.
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Funny story: Two robbers chased down by lionhearted Englanders on a combine harvester

Two robbers chased down by lionhearted Englanders on a combine harvester

SOMEWHERE NEAR A CROP CIRCLE IN ENGLAND - When a fleet of fast police patrol cars isn't available, there's always a very odd chance that the trusty combine harvester might be around to go after rogue criminals. A trio of Englishmen stopped gun-wie...
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Funny story: Sharma Shake Up

Sharma Shake Up

Our roving reporter, Joe Wiss, has been quickly deployed from Lesbos to Sharma-el-Sheik - he gets all the best locations. He reports that he thought that after the refugee crisis on Lesbos, with hundreds of distraught people of all ages, clamberin...
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Funny story: Schoolboy praised for spraying staff with fire extinguisher at Folkestone school

Schoolboy praised for spraying staff with fire extinguisher at Folkestone school

A schoolboy has been praised after setting off a fire extinguisher at his school. The 15-year-old sprayed water from the device in a crowded corridor at the school in Folkestone, Kent, covering some pupils and staff as well as the floor. Coinci...
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Funny story: David Cameron killed Cock Robin

David Cameron killed Cock Robin

Serialisation of the unauthorised biography of David Cameron continues today in the Daily Mate. Sources close to Lord Asscroft have indicated that they once heard the story from his "Bullington Club" days. The only witness to the brutal murder of Coc...
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Funny story: "Enough Whistleblowing," says everyone, as Anonymous threatens to publish your porn search history

"Enough Whistleblowing," says everyone, as Anonymous threatens to publish your porn search history

Rocked Britain was concerned for it's mates yesterday as news leaked that Anonymous, a group of 12 year old virgins from Buttfuck County Arizona, intend to publish your internet porn search history online in frustration at the girl at band camp not...
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Funny story: "Good heaving all!"

"Good heaving all!"

Most people don't choose to spend their weekends at a police station. But Richard Scratcher does. Every Friday and Saturday night, between 19:30 and 04:00, you will find the cheerful, if not totally knackered pensioner slumped across his desk m...
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Funny story: Put More Old People On the Moon

Put More Old People On the Moon

Following the roaring success of this year's Christmas John Lewis advert featuring a lonely old man living on the moon a government minister has come up with a unique solution to help all old, lonely, elderly, people. Norman Bygate, MP for Staff...
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Funny story: Chip butty 'central' to continued EU membership, says Cameron

Chip butty 'central' to continued EU membership, says Cameron

Fundamental, far-reaching changes to redefine Britain's membership in the European Union were outlined by the Prime Minister, David Cameron, yesterday in a hand-written letter to the EU. MEPs in Brussels were taken aback by some of them, which inc...
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IainB
IainB
Joined: 07 October 2008
Stories Written: 1,525

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