Funny story: Cameroon Proposes TV Debate with Class War

Cameroon Proposes TV Debate with Class War

Prime Minister, David Cameroon, has come up with a clever plan to embarrass Labour by promoting a TV debate with Class War before the next election. He argued that there was a 'groundswell of opinion that dismissed all the effing political parties...
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A666 - The A-road of The Beast

According to an extensive study by AD Surveys, 80% of drivers who use the A666 in Bolton are utter fuckwits who think traffic lights and box junctions are there for decoration. An unnamed spokesman said today. "The next time someone stops on the...
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ISIS aim to take over the UK through sperm

After the news that Britain is running out of sperm donors ISIS have moved quickly to fill the gap, sending jihadists back to the UK not to blow anything up, but to blow off. "We are a patient terrorist group," said ISIS leader, Al an Ansen. "As w...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

The Isle of Wight has yet another world record to add to the burgeoning collection of records held in Newport Town hall, when it was discovered that the World's Largest Mole Hill has been discovered in Merstone. "Not many people visit Merstone," s...
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Funny story: New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning. Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...
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Golf courses an endangered habitat, says UN

A United Nations environmental report has highlighted the shocking statistic that the world has lost almost half of its golf courses since 1960. Every day, an area of golf courses the size of Wales becomes abandoned and left for the untamed forces of...
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Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

The systematic addition of chemicals to Scottish water supplies is to resume to keep rebellion levels down. Additional chemical dosing will continue in keeping with pre-referendum Westminster policy, effectively maintaining a docile disposition in th...
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Funny story: Astronaut Badly Burned In Bizarre Porridge Accident

Astronaut Badly Burned In Bizarre Porridge Accident

Astronaut Nigel Armstrong was this morning recovering at the serious burns unit in Norwich South Infirmary. After a malfunction caused Armstrong, dubbed "The Man In The Moon", to come down too soon, he inexplicably asked several bystanders the way to...
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Breaking News...

Queen of Sheba Susan Rice Demands Hagel's Head

"QueenSheba" Rice had a hissy fit over SecDef Hagel's failure to mouth the Regime's spin on foreign threats. She issued a beheading decree,only deflected by Court Jester "Loony Joe" Biden's ravings.
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Funny story: Maverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!

Maverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!

RAF Lossiemouth confirmed to the The Daily Nettle today, that one of their most daring pilots, Flight Lootenant Wing Commander Flight Captain Viceroy Gordon 'Goose' Maverick, has been carpeted by station big-wigs for the second time in a week, after...
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Funny story: In it to win it!

In it to win it!

Jails have been forced to install stairlifts to cope with rocketing numbers of pensioner prisoners since the Tories came to power it has been announced. At least 8,987 over 65's were arrested in 2013 up 34 per cent on 2009. Prison chiefs have also ha...
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Funny story: "Last One Standing"

"Last One Standing"

A furious X-Factor fan slammed ITV last night after Cheryl Fernandez-Vaselini-Esperanza-Maximina's performance caused him to have a massive erection without warning! Habitual masturbator Dick Rasch, 87, suffered near blindness when he prematurely...
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Funny story: It's big down under Bruce!

It's big down under Bruce!

It's that time of year again folks when ITV, having trawled umpteen nationwide casting agencies sign up an assortment of nondescript-would-be-celebrities and allow them to jet off to the land of Oz for a few weeks to fornicate with each other. Ye...
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Funny story: Labour Announce 'Glass of Water Tax' to fund NHS

Labour Announce 'Glass of Water Tax' to fund NHS

Westminster was reeling earlier today when the Labour Party announced that, if elected, they would be taxing glasses of water to fund the NHS. "This follows on from yesterday's TV programme, where Myleene Klass criticised our Mansion Tax proposal,...
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Funny story: Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Opposition parties have reputedly held meetings with media watchdogs with a view to banning pointless Bank Holiday sofa advertisements on television. T.V. audiences have long been confused by the bombardment of channels with advertisements for sofas...
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Funny story: Kippers flounder over Euro-footy plaices

Kippers flounder over Euro-footy plaices

Nigel Farage has always been more of a coelacanth - an extinct fossil - than a bream come true. But now his "whaling" threatens the flying fish of his populist campaign as a cod-right winger. But enough fishy metaphors. UKIP members - commonly ref...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney to Re-do Entire Beatles Catalog

Paul McCartney to Re-do Entire Beatles Catalog

London, England Living Beatle legend Sir Paul McCartney announced today that he would start re-doing the Beatles catalog the way he thinks they should have been done and will start releasing them at Christmas each year until "Linda and Rita the Meter...
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Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13

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