Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 6 June 2011

image for Celebrity Shocker: Derek Hough Dumps His Girlfriend Cheryl Cole
Cheryl Cole says that one day Derek Hough will regret that he dumped her. (Photo courtesy of Simon Cowell).

HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars dancer Derek Hough has admitted that his relationship with Cheryl Cole has hit the rocks and their sultry ship has sunk to the bottom.

Hough explained to Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo that he just got to the point where he could no longer put up with Cheryl's diva antics.

He said that everywhere they went she was always demanding this and asking for that and if she did not get it right away she would become angry and even to the point of being verbally abusive.

Hough divulged that Cheryl was especially rude to waiters and waitresses although since she has a very strong Geordie accent most of the time no one really understood what the hell she was saying anyway.

Derek recalls how on a recent visit to a local Burger Belle in Pomona Cole became very upset because she said that her hamburger bun had way too many sesame seeds on it.

When Derek offered to remove some of the sesame seeds himself she became so mad that she actually tried to bite his hand. Hough said that luckily for him one of the employees saw what was happening and she managed to push his hand away to keep it from getting bit.

Cheryl hollered out for the employee to get back in the kitchen. The Burger Belle employee identified as LaQuanda Vondella Jackson, who stands 6 foot 2 inches tall and tips the scales at 275, grabbed Cole by the collar of her blouse and lifted her off of the booth seat.

She then proceeded to drag her over to the drinking straw dispenser where she took two straws and stuck one in each of her ears.

Cole was hollering like she had just been bit by a swarm of African bees. Derek, meanwhile continued eating his double meat double cheese Burger Belle Boy Burger and really did not say a word.

The manager soon arrived and he escorted Miss Cole out of the restaurant and told her that he would put the rest of her Burger Belle Gal Burger in a to-go box.

As she and Derek walked out to get into Hough's 2011 powder blue Lamborghini the manager said that he overheard him yell out that, that was the last straw (no pun intended) and that he was officially dumping her egotistically, self-centered butt right there in the parking lot of the Burger Belle.

Cole laughed at him and yelled that she didn't care because she would call up her ex-husband English football (soccer) player Ashley Cole and he would take her back quicker than Derek could say 'Tippy Toes.'

She then shot Hough the bird and told him that one day he will regret the fact that he dumped her and especially in the parking lot of a Burger Belle.

Pico de Gallo and 3T will keep on top of the story and bring you any further developments in the dumping of Cheryl Cole by Derek Hough.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

7 22 25 4

Go to top