Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 3 June 2011

image for Twilight Stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star In The Movie "A Week In Paradise - The Pippa Middleton-Ron Jeremy Story"
A photo of Kristen Stewart who will be portraying Pippa Middleton in the Bandini Borrapelli PG-13 rated film.

SOHO, England - Robert Pattinson, star of the Twilight Saga series of movies recently met with noted Italian producer/director Bandini Borrapelli.

The two discussed the details of Pattinson appearing in his PG-13 rated movie based on a true story.

According to Tickety Boo News the two met at the infamous Joan of Arc Pub in Soho. The pub has long been noted as the establishment where Paul McCartney back in 1965, wrote the lyrics to a song called "Scrambled Egg."

The song would later be recorded by his band the Beatles but the song title would be changed to "Yesterday."

As RPattz and BanBor partook of some Guinness Beer they discussed how they would approach the one-week relationship between the movie's two main characters Pippa Middleton and Ron Jeremy.

Pattinson revealed that he had been practicing for about six hours straight and that he feels that he finally has Ron Jeremy's Queens, New York accent down pretty good.

Rob, a little on the concerned side, asked Borrapelli what he thought about the fact that Jeremy is 58, and he (RPattz) is only 25.

Borrapelli grinned and assured him that it would not be a problem as he will be hiring the greatest movie make up artist in the world Strettington Barleywine of Dublin, Ireland.

BanBor said that he once hired Barleywine to make a little eight-year-old Chinese actress look like a 103-year-old Chiricahua Apache squaw.

Regarding Kristen Stewart portraying Pippa Middleton Borrapelli said that will be a piece-of-cake since there is quite a resemblance between the two women who amazingly both have the same exact looking ears, thumbs, and elbows.

Borrapelli stressed to Brompton Boxgrove of Tickety Boo News that he will showcase the fact that part of the reason why Pippa fell head-over-heels in love with Ron Jeremy is due to the fact that he can sing exactly like Michael Buble.

He then went on to note that according to documented reports Jeremy broke up with Middleton after she had become extremely possessive and even went as far as asking Jeremy to marry her.

In an ironic twist of fate. After Ron Jeremy dumped Pippa Middleton she ended up seeking comfort in the arms of...yes one Robert Pattinson.

The two dated a couple of times after which Pippa was invited by Cheryl Cole and her future-husband Derek Hough to vacation with them down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

Bandini Borrapelli says that the movie will be filmed in the Mexican cities of Cancun, Cozumel, Chihuahua, and Cuernavaca.

In other news. The Truth in Lending Act was signed 43 years ago on May 29, 1968. It has since been repealed by The Lies in Lending Act of 1979 and revised in 1987, 1993, 1999, 2007, and 2009.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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