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Sunday, 12 June 2011

image for Nicole Scherzinger Apoplectic As Rihanna Hugs Lewis Hamilton At Canadian Grand Prix
Hey Rihanna - Wanna See My Cockpit?

Sources are saying that American X-Factor Judge Nicole Scherzinger was positively apoplectic with rage, as her boyfriend, F1 driver Lewis Hamilton openly hugged R&B star Rihanna during a break in the Montreal Grand Prix.

The race was red flagged after 22 laps out of a potential 70, as a torrential downpour hit the track, with Hamilton being forced to retire early on following a clash with McLaren team mate Jenson Button, which disabled Hamilton's car.

As track workers struggled to clear surface water from the track, Rihanna, who had been watching events from a hospitality tent, went underneath an umber-ella-ella-ella to avoid getting her hair messed up, and went behind the scenes to meet Lewis Hamilton.

Following an initial hug (the one which drove Nicole Scherzinger to the point of apoplexy if the rumours are to be believed) Lewis Hamilton then explained what had gone on out on the track, with Jenson Button, and then invited Rihanna to examine his cockpit.

Rihanna said that she'd never been that close up to anybody's cockpit before, much less Lewis Hamilton's, so she graciously accepted the offer.

Nicole Scherzinger's reaction to this turn of events has not yet been revealed.

Following the unscheduled delay of 2 hours and 4 minutes, the racing resumed, with nobody absolutely certain where Lewis Hamilton and Rihanna were, or whether the cockpit examination was a success.

The safety car stayed on the track until lap 34 following the restart.

Drag Reduction System (DRS) came into play on lap 48, by which time Lewis Hamilton was watching the race on TV, with no sign of Rihanna or her umbrella-ella-ella.

Nicole Scherzinger was probably busy smashing up some furniture or something and probably missed a dramatic last lap which saw Jenson Button take the chequered flag in his McLaren Mercedes, from Sebastian Vettel who overshot a chicane in his Red Bull, letting the Englishman in, with Aussie Mark Webber, again driving a Red Bull taking third spot from Michael Schumacher.

By which point, Rihanna won't have needed her umbrella any more because the rain stopped.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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