Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 9 June 2011

image for Miley Cyrus Says She Loves "Lap Dancer" The Pet Snake That She Was Given By Maksim Chmerkovskiy of 'Dancing With The Stars'
A photo of "Lap Dancer" the snake that Maksim Chmerkovskiy gave to Miley Cyrus. (Photo courtesy of Bruno Tonioli).

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico - Miley Cyrus finished performing before a standing room only crowd at The Mescalero Apache Warpaint Auditorium and was backstage relaxing with a 32 oz. bottle of 7-Up and a large bag of Cheetos.

She was asked by Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors about her new relationship with Patrick Schwarzenegger, the 17-year-old son of Arnold "But I'm Neutered" Schwarzenegger and Maria "Surprise-Surprise" Shriver.

Miley blushed a little bit and replied that things are going good and then she started laughing uncontrollably.

Vodka asked why she was laughing and Miley answered that she found it hard to believe that there were actually some entertainment news agencies that were calling her a cougar since she is one year older than Patrick.

Miley giggled as she popped two Cheetos in her mouth and washed them down with two gulps of 7-Up. She remarked that now she knows how Demi Moore, Kim Cattrall, Halle Berry, Ivana Trump, and Madonna all feel.

She caught herself and then remarked that in Madonna's case it is pretty much a given that at her age every guy she meets will more than likely be younger than her.

Vodka asked Miley about the rumor of her being given a pet snake. She got a look of surprise on her face and said that it was true. She said that she is friends with Mark Cuban, the owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks and that when he appeared on Dancing With The Stars several years ago he became good friends with Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Maksim raises snakes. Cuban heard that Miley loves snakes and he called up Maksim and asked him if he could give one of his pet snakes to Miley.

Maksim readily agreed and he presented her with a pet snake that he named "Lap Dancer" in honor of the former star of Hannah Montana.

One of the nation's leading experts on ants has discounted Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio's theory that the Arizona wildfires were actually started by fire ants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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