Funny story: Scientists: Anus Will Replace Fingerprint for Security Checks

Scientists: Anus Will Replace Fingerprint for Security Checks

Scientists are now predicting that the anus will soon replace fingerprints for security, such as gaining entry to a building, or to computers and other sensitive or high clearance materials or locations. The anus it seems is even more complex and ind...
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Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Cerne Abbas, Dorset - A crop circle has been blamed for emasculating the huge erect penis of a 180ft ancient Neolithic colossus known as the Cerne Abbas Dick. Uh, Giant. Carved into a Dorset chalk hillock over 10,000 years ago the club-wielding f...
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Earth is Not Actually a Planet Reveal Surprised Scientists

Science Town, USA Scientists were astonished when they revealed to the press their most recent scientific discovery. "Earth is actually an artificial satellite created by an alien culture and was used as a movie set in a D-movie eons ago" spoke th...
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Funny story: My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

I just got the best pet in the world. A Goliath Birdeater, a spider that's been shipped from the Amazon Rain Forest to my little abode in New Jersey. My Goliath Birdeater has the dubious honor of being the largest arachnid in the world. It's about...
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Funny story: Planets Stand Still - Steven Hawking Changing O.S. Rebooting In 5 Mins . . . . .Please Wait

Planets Stand Still - Steven Hawking Changing O.S. Rebooting In 5 Mins . . . . .Please Wait

Tidal Waves, Earthquakes, Tsunamis and Volcanic Plasma Flows ravaged the earth at 2.00 am. this morning for 1000th of one second as Steven Hawking changed the O.S. of the solar system from Windows to Mac. "The changeover went smoothly with minimum...
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Dolphins Fitted With Microphones Swear A Lot

Marine Biologists fitting Dolphins with voice headsets have reported that they all swear profusely. They are apparently very intelligent fish, but use the "F" and "C" words all the time. UnderSeaworld, the Corporate Entertainment giant who though...
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Boobs, Butts, and Beyond! Cellphones Condemn Current Selfie Craze

The cellphones made their feelings known yesterday at a noon demonstration in NYC's Times Square. A mix of tourists and native New Yorkers observed the proceedings. The former were startled, but the latter merely looked resigned. The natives have s...
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Funny story: Evolution Confirmed in Lost Bible

Evolution Confirmed in Lost Bible

JERUSALEM- Archaeologists have discovered a lost book from the Christian New Testament, allegedly confirming the principles of evolution. The work was found in a cave near the city of Jerusalem. Entitled the 'Book of GEROM', (Genetic Evoluti...
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Breaking News...

Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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Funny story: Elite Squad of Twitter Birdies Handles the Queen's Tweets

Elite Squad of Twitter Birdies Handles the Queen's Tweets

Shortly after it was announced that the Queen had sent her first tweet it's been revealed that only "special" Twitter birds are entrusted with the royal tweets. Not just any old birdie will do. In addition to possessing a royal pedigree (commone...
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Funny story: We'll Never See Yesterday Again Announce Scientists

We'll Never See Yesterday Again Announce Scientists

Science Town, OZ Many people who state they wish they could return to yesterday or yesteryear were severely disappointed today when the results of the latest scientific studies were announced. "After much research, we have arrived at the conclusio...
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Funny story: Smoking Not Bad For You Says Research

Smoking Not Bad For You Says Research

New research is suggesting that smoking is not dangerous, does not cause strokes, heart disease or lung cancer and, in some cases, may improve quality of life and increase lifespan. The study and research, carried out by a conglomeration of scient...
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Funny story: Apple launches iPhone 6 with holographic Caller ID Image

Apple launches iPhone 6 with holographic Caller ID Image

Cupertino, California - A full-screen sized hologram of Caller Identity Images will be popping up each time Apple's swish new all-bells-and-whistles iPhone 6 gets an incoming or makes an outgoing call. And a new voice-over feature will see hologr...
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Funny story: Church of Scamatology Says It Can Prove Clams Were the First Life

Church of Scamatology Says It Can Prove Clams Were the First Life

Clearwater, FL The Church of Scamatology announced today that they had solid scientific proof that the first life on Earth were clams. Most scientists, and consequently science books, have apparently missed this major fact. The Scamatologist's sci...
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Funny story: For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

Washington D.C. - An epidemic of hard drive crashes is sweeping this city and, for the first time in history, the number has exceeded the total number of car crashes that have occurred within the city limits since 2011. It is truly uncanny how man...
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Funny story: Pediatricians Urge Parents to Read Aloud to Kids, Starting at Birth

Pediatricians Urge Parents to Read Aloud to Kids, Starting at Birth

"Yippee!" said one bookseller when she heard the news. She continued,"This is our big chance to dump our inventory of kids' books." Giving a thumbs-up sign to an assistant, she said, "Get all the junk onto the selling floor and prepare to sell, sel...
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Funny story: Hindenburg Zeppelin Disaster Finally Solved

Hindenburg Zeppelin Disaster Finally Solved

In 1776 Marie Curie invented radiation. In 10,254.543 BC, Grog invented the bonfire and shortly afterwards, the Bar-B-Que. In 1935 Moe slapped fellow Stooge, Curly, repeatedly until he came up with a vision which would eventually lead to the creati...
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IainB
IainB
Joined: 07 October 2008
Stories Written: 1,523

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