Funny story: MRI scans reveal 2,500 year old Siberian princess died of acute cannabis deficiency

MRI scans reveal 2,500 year old Siberian princess died of acute cannabis deficiency

Siberia, Russia - An ancient Siberian mummy has tested positive for a cute cannabis deficiency. MRI scans reveal it 'dislocated her joints' and blew her skull wide open high up in the Altai Mountains circa BC500. The remains were discovered p...
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Donald Trump Will Keep Donating Money to Science Until they Find a Way to Make Him Immortal

New York, NY-Blowhard billionaire Donald Trump stated in a press conference that he was afraid for the world after he had passed. "I know there will be widespread mourning and depression when the Donald leaves this mortal coil and I want to try to...
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Cool Ant Leaks From International Space Station, Major Evacuation Under Way

The Cosmos - Space paleoentomologists (WTF dat? 'Ed') at NASA's insect fossil cloning division are studying reports that a species of glacier ant indigenous to comets has gummed up the works in the International Space Station. Close-ups of a colon...
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Funny story: My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

I just got the best pet in the world. A Goliath Birdeater, a spider that's been shipped from the Amazon Rain Forest to my little abode in New Jersey. My Goliath Birdeater has the dubious honor of being the largest arachnid in the world. It's about...
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Funny story: Phobias now Curable. Guaranteed!

Phobias now Curable. Guaranteed!

Medical scientists in America have taken a keen interest in the discovery by Dr. Bedafford of the Brighton and Sussex Medical School who successfully cured a patient of Arachnophobia accidentally when he had the man's damaged left amygdala removed.
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Hindenburg Zeppelin Disaster Finally Solved

In 1776 Marie Curie invented radiation. In 10,254.543 BC, Grog invented the bonfire and shortly afterwards, the Bar-B-Que. In 1935 Moe slapped fellow Stooge, Curly, repeatedly until he came up with a vision which would eventually lead to the creati...
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Man Accused of Traveling Through Time to Ensure that Legal System Remains an Unending Quagmire

Hill Valley resident Biff Tannen was accused of attempting to aid his wayward grandson Griff Tannen avoid jail time by disrupting the space time continuum. The plot revolved around using time travel to prevent the streamlining of the legal system wh...
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Funny story: Cellphones Announce Selfie-free Sundays

Cellphones Announce Selfie-free Sundays

Cellphones are disgusted with the amount (too many!) and general quality (awful!) of selfies, and they want everyone to know about it. So yesterday in NYC's Times Square they held a press conference to tell the world that they had come to an impor...
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Breaking News...

Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked

Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
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Funny story: Comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko 'is part of Martian crematorium' says NASA

Comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko 'is part of Martian crematorium' says NASA

Pasadena, California - Scientists studying new imagery from the crashed Rosetta probe have described Comet 67P as an enormous chunk of artificial masonry, part of the legendary - and exclusive! - Royal Martian Crematorium, a sort of ancient alien Cre...
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Funny story: NASA discovers the "Gods of Creation"

NASA discovers the "Gods of Creation"

NASA experts, have concluded that this universe was created by advanced life forms that live outside of the universe. "We have found conclusive evidence of their existence," said Ellen Stofan, NASA chief scientist. While mission control, was c...
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Funny story: Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

A new study by the Weston A. Price Foundation (WAPF), a nonprofit "nutrition" organization with close ties to the meat industry, blames "hot yoga" for global warming. The WAPF report has created a lot of additional heat for Bikram Yoga founder Bi...
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Funny story: Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

Hot Yoga Blamed for Global Warming

A new study by the Weston A. Price Foundation (WAPF), a nonprofit "nutrition" organization with close ties to the meat industry, blames hot yoga for global warming. The WAPF report has created a lot of additional heat for Bikram Yoga founder Bikr...
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Funny story: Ancient Recordings Uncovered!

Ancient Recordings Uncovered!

Researchers at Trent University have found a way to reach back in time and listen to ancient civilizations in their most public and private moments. This startling breakthrough comes shortly after researchers at MIT learned how to "hear" through...
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Funny story: Drones Demand Extra Pay for Working in NYC

Drones Demand Extra Pay for Working in NYC

Sure they're unmanned, but that doesn't mean those airborne vehicles don't wanna have a life. If the drones have to put up with trouble and inconvenience, they expect to be adequately compensated for it. A bunch of them made that abundantly cle...
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Funny story: I Invented Science Confesses Scamatology Founder Elron Hubtard in Just Revealed Documents

I Invented Science Confesses Scamatology Founder Elron Hubtard in Just Revealed Documents

Clearwater, FL-In newly discovered documents, Scamatology founder Elron Hubtard was found to have confessed to inventing science and then disguising all his contributions by going back in time and making it look like his discoveries were the work of...
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Funny story: Marble Madness Blows Man's Mind, Ruins Life

Marble Madness Blows Man's Mind, Ruins Life

Video game enthusiast, Billy Mitchell says that Marble Madness (released in December 1984 by Atari) is responsible for ruining his life, and quite possibly driving him into a state of psychosis. "The game was a joy to play at first," Mitchell ex...
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KRS
KRS
Joined: 30 November 2010
Stories Written: 37

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