SMASH theory of physics fixes the Standard Model

Funny story: SMASH theory of physics fixes the Standard Model
Assachewsets Institute of Technocracy - Professor Hecktor Nogginbanger of AIT today announced a theory of everything that resolves all the unexplained problems in the Standard Model of physics. The new theory, some just call it fact, is called SMASH...
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Astronomers discover planets that look like Earth! However, do we need another one?

Funny story: Astronomers discover planets that look like Earth! However, do we need another one?
Thank the heavens (literally) that the seven planets discovered by astronomers are so far away, it would take roughly 770000 years to get there, because we really do not need another planet like ours! Jaggedone, sent his favourite scientific, unde...
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Global Temperature Drop Likely After Denialist Efforts to Discredit Science

Funny story: Global Temperature Drop Likely After Denialist Efforts to Discredit Science
Washington - Average Global Temperatures are on track to fall significantly in the next few years, thanks to concerted efforts by individuals and organizations silently funded by energy companies and conservative groups, to debunk the widely accepted...
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Thanks Kellyanne! I'm back to being a shutterbug again!

Funny story: Thanks Kellyanne! I'm back to being a shutterbug again!
I bought an inexpensive microwave at Bucky's Bucking Bronco Big Lots Extravaganza today. Way out there on the fringes of the city, that hideous store stands like a cinder-box outhouse on the busy thoroughfare. I'm going to take pictures with my n...
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Trump Reports That Venus is Spying on the U.S (and on Trump Tower in Particular)

Funny story: Trump Reports That Venus is Spying on the U.S (and on Trump Tower in Particular)
Manhattan, NY President Trump announced today that he caught the planet Venus spying on the United States and found out they were planning on invading the Earth, until they heard him talking about what he would do to aliens if he ever caught them in...
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Trump to Erect Wall Around the Solar System

Funny story: Trump to Erect Wall Around the Solar System
In a series of tweets taking many in government and the science world by storm, President Trump has announced his intention to construct a wall around the Solar System, to prevent further illegal immigration of dark matter. "Invading invisible pa...
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Web Science Repetition Threatens Ice Sheet

Funny story: Web Science Repetition Threatens Ice Sheet
A new study has found that science website articles repeat themselves frequently. Linguists from the Universitat Grossen Luegen in Cologne, Germany have analysed over seventy thousand articles appearing in major publications and websites and have fou...
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Studies show Trump supporters are retarded

Funny story: Studies show Trump supporters are retarded
Scientists from the University of Downton, England, have discovered that Americans who support Donald Trump have a significantly lower IQ than the average American. The news comes as little surprise to poor-basher Professor Tarquin Smythe-Wazzock, wh...
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Breaking News...

"After Impeachment, I'll Just Run A Car Lot." Says President Trump

"A nice quiet used car lot in New Jersey," Trump wistfully said, then he added "who knew this presidency thing was so complicated?"
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Funny story: New species of bird named after President Trump

New species of bird named after President Trump

An Australian bird discovered this year has been given the unusual distinction of being named after the current US president, due to surprising similarities in their behaviour. Researchers at the University of Wagga Wagga have officially called the b...
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Funny story: Eating cheese, drinking coffee and full moon not responsible for sleepless nights anymore!

Eating cheese, drinking coffee and full moon not responsible for sleepless nights anymore!

The human race has many issues to deal with; wars, ISIS, Putin, conflicts, flooding, global warming, pollution, third-world famines, Geert Wilders; among many others. Now it seems humans are becoming affected by a new phenomena, LED street lights!...
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Funny story: Dinosaur penis exhibition opens

Dinosaur penis exhibition opens

Ever since he was an archaeology student, Tom Lovecock has dreamed of dinosaur penises. Now he has an exciting new exhibition at the British Museum. He explained the idea behind it, "Who hasn't watched Jurassic Park and wondered why the dinosaurs don...
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Funny story: Scientists discover missing particle responsible for racism

Scientists discover missing particle responsible for racism

Work carried out by scientists at CERN and published in this month's Nature Journal detail the surprise results of the experiment. Prof Brian Cox (not the leading scientist on the experiment but the only one lay people know) explains the findings, wh...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse

Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse

In a groundbreaking pronouncement, the International Forum of Theoretical Physicists today stated that Donald Trump's election confirmed the existence of the multiverse. At a press conference held at the National Academy of Sciences, Belinda Suarez,...
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Funny story: Epidemic of Falling leaves point to Climate Change

Epidemic of Falling leaves point to Climate Change

Dr. Paul Montgomery of Admiral University's Department of Climatic Intervention has been studying "a strange phenomenon that is occurring this Autumn and if memory serves me correctly, happened last autumn too" he said. Dr. Montgomery went o...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Death and Doom State College will begin classes at Area 51 this fall

Donald Trump Death and Doom State College will begin classes at Area 51 this fall

AREA 51, Nevada - Donald Trump has just founded a small public state college that will teach students how to make hydrogen bombs, nuclear missiles, and various types of torpedoes, light anti-tank weapons, and sundry varieties of weapons of mass destr...
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Funny story: My friend Jacko lands a job interviewing dead people who voted for Hillary Clinton

My friend Jacko lands a job interviewing dead people who voted for Hillary Clinton

Upon much hesitancy and bewilderment, I joined my friend and neighbor Jacko, who visited a few local graveyards yesterday for a new job he just started. Jacko landed a job in the messy, stinking "Trump Dumpster" as an interviewer, investigator, a...
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JP Johnston
JP Johnston
Joined: 12 June 2009
Stories Written: 30

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