Funny story: NASA discovers the "Gods of Creation"

NASA discovers the "Gods of Creation"

NASA experts, have concluded that this universe was created by advanced life forms that live outside of the universe. "We have found conclusive evidence of their existence," said Ellen Stofan, NASA chief scientist. While mission control, was c...
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Cool Ant Leaks From International Space Station, Major Evacuation Under Way

The Cosmos - Space paleoentomologists (WTF dat? 'Ed') at NASA's insect fossil cloning division are studying reports that a species of glacier ant indigenous to comets has gummed up the works in the International Space Station. Close-ups of a colon...
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Customers and Critics Agree - Apple's New iDick Dildo A Huge Flop

Santa Clara, California - Apple's attempt at the world's first completely "interactive" dildo, the iDick, is a big disappointment, to both Apple and dildo fans alike. Mostly middle aged women lined up for hours outside Apple's flagship San Francis...
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Funny story: I Invented Science Confesses Scamatology Founder Elron Hubtard in Just Revealed Documents

I Invented Science Confesses Scamatology Founder Elron Hubtard in Just Revealed Documents

Clearwater, FL-In newly discovered documents, Scamatology founder Elron Hubtard was found to have confessed to inventing science and then disguising all his contributions by going back in time and making it look like his discoveries were the work of...
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Funny story: Blows To The Head Make 9-Year-Old A Man

Blows To The Head Make 9-Year-Old A Man

The NFL runs "Moms Clinics" through an operation called "USA Football." It targets moms who determine which sport their kids will play. It is an effort to show that children's football is safe. But kid football isn't safe. As background, Pop Warn...
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Cellphones Announce Selfie-free Sundays

Cellphones are disgusted with the amount (too many!) and general quality (awful!) of selfies, and they want everyone to know about it. So yesterday in NYC's Times Square they held a press conference to tell the world that they had come to an impor...
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Man Accused of Traveling Through Time to Ensure that Legal System Remains an Unending Quagmire

Hill Valley resident Biff Tannen was accused of attempting to aid his wayward grandson Griff Tannen avoid jail time by disrupting the space time continuum. The plot revolved around using time travel to prevent the streamlining of the legal system wh...
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Funny story: Hindenburg Zeppelin Disaster Finally Solved

Hindenburg Zeppelin Disaster Finally Solved

In 1776 Marie Curie invented radiation. In 10,254.543 BC, Grog invented the bonfire and shortly afterwards, the Bar-B-Que. In 1935 Moe slapped fellow Stooge, Curly, repeatedly until he came up with a vision which would eventually lead to the creati...
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Breaking News...

Emperor Finally Issues A "Secure Borders" Edict

Barack I degreed today all borders of the US Empire shall be sealed to prevent entry of the "undesirable alien" Bibi Netanyahu. Chief of Secret Storm Troopers, Eric Holder, will personally enforce it.
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Funny story: Obummer definitely NOT seeing "Red"

Obummer definitely NOT seeing "Red"

Mars One wants to send two dozen people to Mars, and Peter Felgentreff, 50, may well be one of them. For as long as he can remember, he's been "curious" about science, he gushes. His curiosity about what it would be like to live on Mars motivat...
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Funny story: Drones Demand Extra Pay for Working in NYC

Drones Demand Extra Pay for Working in NYC

Sure they're unmanned, but that doesn't mean those airborne vehicles don't wanna have a life. If the drones have to put up with trouble and inconvenience, they expect to be adequately compensated for it. A bunch of them made that abundantly cle...
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Funny story: Comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko 'is part of Martian crematorium' says NASA

Comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko 'is part of Martian crematorium' says NASA

Pasadena, California - Scientists studying new imagery from the crashed Rosetta probe have described Comet 67P as an enormous chunk of artificial masonry, part of the legendary - and exclusive! - Royal Martian Crematorium, a sort of ancient alien Cre...
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Funny story: MRI scans reveal 2,500 year old Siberian princess died of acute cannabis deficiency

MRI scans reveal 2,500 year old Siberian princess died of acute cannabis deficiency

Siberia, Russia - An ancient Siberian mummy has tested positive for a cute cannabis deficiency. MRI scans reveal it 'dislocated her joints' and blew her skull wide open high up in the Altai Mountains circa BC500. The remains were discovered p...
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Funny story: Creationist Breakthrough: Actually, the World is Really, Really Old!

Creationist Breakthrough: Actually, the World is Really, Really Old!

The booming pseudoscience industry in the USA has recently got a huge boost, as one Young-Earth "Creation Science" Institute has made an earth-shaking and absolutely unprecedented breakthrough. Yes: apparently, contrary to previous, less empirica...
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Funny story: Comet Lovejoy in near miss with International Space Station

Comet Lovejoy in near miss with International Space Station

The Cosmos - Astronauts aboard the ISS were carrying out a critical damage assessment after part of Comet Lovejoy C/2014 Q2 struck the Station's septic tank and sent six months' of space shit into the Quadrantids shower. Emergency works to the ta...
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Funny story: Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

The Nobel Prize for innovative development in physics has been accidentally awarded to Dyson MacDonald, the inventor of "microwave chips" and not the microchip inventor Werner Jacobi. The invention of the integrated circuit, or microchip goes bac...
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Funny story: My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

I just got the best pet in the world. A Goliath Birdeater, a spider that's been shipped from the Amazon Rain Forest to my little abode in New Jersey. My Goliath Birdeater has the dubious honor of being the largest arachnid in the world. It's about...
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K.C. Bell
K.C. Bell
Joined: 27 June 2004
Stories Written: 254

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