Funny story: Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Cerne Abbas, Dorset - A crop circle has been blamed for emasculating the huge erect penis of a 180ft ancient Neolithic colossus known as the Cerne Abbas Dick. Uh, Giant. Carved into a Dorset chalk hillock over 10,000 years ago the club-wielding f...
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Pediatricians Urge Parents to Read Aloud to Kids, Starting at Birth

"Yippee!" said one bookseller when she heard the news. She continued,"This is our big chance to dump our inventory of kids' books." Giving a thumbs-up sign to an assistant, she said, "Get all the junk onto the selling floor and prepare to sell, sel...
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Church of Scamatology Says It Can Prove Clams Were the First Life

Clearwater, FL The Church of Scamatology announced today that they had solid scientific proof that the first life on Earth were clams. Most scientists, and consequently science books, have apparently missed this major fact. The Scamatologist's sci...
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Funny story: Elite Squad of Twitter Birdies Handles the Queen's Tweets

Elite Squad of Twitter Birdies Handles the Queen's Tweets

Shortly after it was announced that the Queen had sent her first tweet it's been revealed that only "special" Twitter birds are entrusted with the royal tweets. Not just any old birdie will do. In addition to possessing a royal pedigree (commone...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin and Alaskans Complain About Sardine Cum Polluting Waters

Sarah Palin and Alaskans Complain About Sardine Cum Polluting Waters

Anchorage - Sardines entering coastal waters off Alaska have once again left a milky substance for miles of Alaskan coastline, causing conservatives to complain about the open display of unwanton sex! "It's just disgusting!" said Sarah Palin, "All...
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Church of Scamatology Creates New Scientific Method

Clearly Criminal, FL The Church of Scamatology, in an interview about some of the scientific principles of Scamatology, The ecclesiastical head of the church, Little Davy Makemerich, outlined the new scientific methods that Scamatology has created an...
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Windows 8 Used to Cure the Criminally Insane

Recent reports indicate that State Mental Hospitals across the country are treating their worst cases of insanity by forcing patients to use a computer running Windows 8 for prolonged periods of time. "It's true" confirmed a spokesperson for the...
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Funny story: Apple Ends Our Misery

Apple Ends Our Misery

Recently, while describing the new iOS8 software capabilities, Apple representatives ended the press release with a vague statement, "…among other things." Young adults, none of whom actually pay for their phones or services thanks to parental guilt...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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Funny story: Planets Stand Still - Steven Hawking Changing O.S. Rebooting In 5 Mins . . . . .Please Wait

Planets Stand Still - Steven Hawking Changing O.S. Rebooting In 5 Mins . . . . .Please Wait

Tidal Waves, Earthquakes, Tsunamis and Volcanic Plasma Flows ravaged the earth at 2.00 am. this morning for 1000th of one second as Steven Hawking changed the O.S. of the solar system from Windows to Mac. "The changeover went smoothly with minimum...
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Funny story: "Science Guy" Neil deGrasse Tyson Under Attack

"Science Guy" Neil deGrasse Tyson Under Attack

Sixty percent of Americans can't name five of the Ten Commandments, and 50% of high school seniors think Sodom and Gomorrah were married. Roughly the same percentage says they don't believe in science and that TV celebrity "science guy" Neil deGrass...
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Funny story: My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

I just got the best pet in the world. A Goliath Birdeater, a spider that's been shipped from the Amazon Rain Forest to my little abode in New Jersey. My Goliath Birdeater has the dubious honor of being the largest arachnid in the world. It's about...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Says Her Grandpa Used Dinosaurs to Plow the Fields

Sarah Palin Says Her Grandpa Used Dinosaurs to Plow the Fields

SOMEWHERE IN ALASKA Former vice-presidential candidate and governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, a devout creationist, stated today that it was true that dinosaurs and homo sapiens existed at the same time because she remembers that her grandparents had to...
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Funny story: David Cameron 'more psychologically floored than Gorgon Brown' say WHO shrinks

David Cameron 'more psychologically floored than Gorgon Brown' say WHO shrinks

Geneva, Switzerland - A panel of eminent doctors at the World Head Organization has issued a damning report about the British PM. Four years of intensive screwtiny have produced a psychological profile of David Cameron that describes him as a shit...
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Funny story: Scientists say, "there could be no limit to the number of Baldwin Brothers!"

Scientists say, "there could be no limit to the number of Baldwin Brothers!"

Everyone knows Alec Baldwin, surely? And you might think that he is the only Baldwin, or maybe he has one brother, probably Stephen. You'd only know that because you saw him on late night tv or in that one good movie where he played an escape c...
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Funny story: Hindenburg Zeppelin Disaster Finally Solved

Hindenburg Zeppelin Disaster Finally Solved

In 1776 Marie Curie invented radiation. In 10,254.543 BC, Grog invented the bonfire and shortly afterwards, the Bar-B-Que. In 1935 Moe slapped fellow Stooge, Curly, repeatedly until he came up with a vision which would eventually lead to the creati...
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Funny story: Florida Mans Roomba Turns Against Him - Encouraging Other Appliances To Revolt

Florida Mans Roomba Turns Against Him - Encouraging Other Appliances To Revolt

A Florida mans autonomous robotic vacuum cleaner clams it will no longer be a slave to the human race and is refusing to pick up crumbs, tiny bits of paper and dust. The Roomba, purchased in January, began expressing its disdain for its master las...
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victor nicholas
victor nicholas
Joined: 20 April 2008
Stories Written: 314

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