Investigation: Trump's Reverse Racoon Eyes

Funny story: Investigation: Trump's Reverse Racoon Eyes
Everyone has noticed. What's up with the white area around Donald Trump's eyes and eye bags? Amanda Baijerkokopf, a makeup artist who works in the Los Angeles movie industry talked about the billionaire's current odd countenance, and the puffy wh...
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Miley Cyrus Refuses Broadway Show Due to No Nudity In It

Funny story: Miley Cyrus Refuses Broadway Show Due to No Nudity In It
Broadway, New York Miley Cyrus, once the late Hannah Montana, refused and was very mad at an offer to do a Broadway play known for its family values called Virginity Forever. "This is an outrage!" spoke Ms. Cyrus. "Everyone knows my fans love two...
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Loki Trumps House at Casino

Funny story: Loki Trumps House at Casino
Loki Hiddleston is auditioning to be the next James Bond by starring as Pine/Birch, the mysterious agent in John LeCarre's The Night Manager. When House Laurie shows up at the Swiss hotel, the flakes fly and villainy clashes. A LeCarre miniseries...
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Miraculous Bastards: New Tarantino Film Rescues Anne Frank From Nazis

Funny story: Miraculous Bastards: New Tarantino Film Rescues Anne Frank From Nazis
Alert! Spoilers are ahead if you have not read the book or seen the movie. Another film--another controversy: Miraculous Bastards is the latest film from director Quentin Tarantino and it's already riled his critics. In this story, time travelers...
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Bill Cosby's Wife Camille Didn't Realize Bill Had Ever Left the Mansion

Funny story: Bill Cosby's Wife Camille Didn't Realize Bill Had Ever Left the Mansion
Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts Camille Cosby, wife of alleged disgraced comic Bill Cosby, swore in a deposition today that she had no knowledge of any of the more than 50 sexual assaults her husband is accused of participating in. "I didn't even k...
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Nancy Grace Has Been Smelling Farts All Along

Funny story: Nancy Grace Has Been Smelling Farts All Along
Nancy Grace's facial expression has often been compared to someone who has just smelled a fart. Now it seems Grace has indeed been suffering from a brain tumor that causes the perception of bad smells. Grace's condition was caused by a rare tumor...
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'Classic Rock' rolls on, to where and who, who knows, but it's out there, man! It's out there and it's free!

Funny story: 'Classic Rock' rolls on, to where and who, who knows, but it's out there, man! It's out there and it's free!
Classic rock. The scourge of the airwaves. Only Baby Boomers listen to the radio anymore, so Classic Rock rules the airwaves. If you want to tune in to what young musicians are banging and booming out, you won't find it on the "free radio". Maybe the...
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Minnie Mouse Arrested in NYC's Times Square

Funny story: Minnie Mouse Arrested in NYC's Times Square
Say it isn't so, Minnie. Say it isn't so. Unfortunately, though, it IS so. The entrepreneurial little mouse was a little bit TOO entrepreneurial and was arrested for battling a tourist over the size of a fee for a photo session. Minnie refu...
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Breaking News...

Trump Blames His Downslide in the Polls on Terrorists

"Terrorists know they'll be in trouble once I'm President so they rigged the polls against me!!"
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Funny story: Pornographic Film Actor Files Suit Over Cock Shaming

Pornographic Film Actor Files Suit Over Cock Shaming

San Fernando, CA - A male pornographic film star filed a suit in San Fernando District Court yesterday. In it he alleges that actresses he works with, who constantly tell him on camera that his "cock is so fucking huge." and refer to it as "fat" whe...
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Funny story: Nancy Grace Farts On Airplane, Forces Landing In Albuquerque

Nancy Grace Farts On Airplane, Forces Landing In Albuquerque

A Jet Blue flight to LA landed at Albuquerque's airport after passengers panicked over a bad smell in flight. The crew quickly determined that Nancy Grace had let a stinky fart rip, but under new anti-terrorism guidelines, the plane was diverted to A...
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Funny story: Water Waste Of Time

Water Waste Of Time

One thing you can always rely on with BATTL News is that we will eventually come back with something irrelevant and pointless just when you thought we'd finally buggered off. Yet after discovering that a "Water Only Bar" was to open in London we k...
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Funny story: Spice Girls Anniversary Discs Leaked

Spice Girls Anniversary Discs Leaked

It's been leaked the Major Spice Girls reunion will include all 5 Spice Girls... kind of... The album promotion will include all 5 Spice Girls going to various interviews separately, promoting the album as well as whatever individual project each...
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Funny story: Erskine Quint is a reincarnated H.G.Wells!

Erskine Quint is a reincarnated H.G.Wells!

After surviving two epic adventures by the thick skin of his wonderful, shiny set of dentures, it seems that aristocratic superhero, Erskine Quint Esq, has been reincarnated and stuck in a time machine, a la H.G.Wells, just prettier though! After...
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Funny story: 90s TV Legend Sgt. Bash Lands New MTV Reality Show

90s TV Legend Sgt. Bash Lands New MTV Reality Show

Things are about to fire up after legendary late 90s TV robot Sergeant Bash announced his television comeback. The Robot Wars star (18) was believed to be very disappointed after he was snubbed in the BBC's upcoming reboot of the Friday night glad...
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Funny story: Sleep Deprived Attorney Incriminates Client During Pretrial Hearing

Sleep Deprived Attorney Incriminates Client During Pretrial Hearing

K.C.,MO: The 1998 cold case murder of 17 year old Martin Keif seemed to be on it's way to a resolution until a well respected defense attorney brought everything to a screeching halt. Jared O'Connell Esq. (aka Mr. Not Guilty) is one of the most f...
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Funny story: You Can Find Prince Songs on You Tube Now

You Can Find Prince Songs on You Tube Now

Fans and music lovers were shocked to hear the news this weekend: Prince songs suddenly became available on You Tube. Yes, it's pretty startling. As we all know, Prince, the immensely popular artist who sometimes goes by Prince and sometimes The A...
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mickrikko
mickrikko
Joined: 11 September 2009
Stories Written: 18

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