Nancy Grace Farts On Airplane, Forces Landing In Albuquerque

Funny story: Nancy Grace Farts On Airplane, Forces Landing In Albuquerque
A Jet Blue flight to LA landed at Albuquerque's airport after passengers panicked over a bad smell in flight. The crew quickly determined that Nancy Grace had let a stinky fart rip, but under new anti-terrorism guidelines, the plane was diverted to A...
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Pornographic Film Actor Files Suit Over Cock Shaming

Funny story: Pornographic Film Actor Files Suit Over Cock Shaming
San Fernando, CA - A male pornographic film star filed a suit in San Fernando District Court yesterday. In it he alleges that actresses he works with, who constantly tell him on camera that his "cock is so fucking huge." and refer to it as "fat" whe...
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Baseball & Football Stars Recruit Kevin Durant - Birth of a New Big Three for the Celtics

Funny story: Baseball & Football Stars Recruit Kevin Durant - Birth of a New Big Three for the Celtics
In the beginning there was Bird, McHale, and Parrish. Thence came Garnett, Allen, and Pierce. Now the Moving Finger seemed about to write a new chapter of Big Guns. Though the Celtics were starting free agency looking like a candidate for the TV s...
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Taylor Swift Will Start Writing the Song First, Then Meet and Break Up With Next Boyfriend

Funny story: Taylor Swift Will Start Writing the Song First, Then Meet and Break Up With Next Boyfriend
Beverly Hills, CA Taylor Swift announced that because she is getting behind on her music contracts, she will start writing and recording the songs in advance that she writes about meeting new guys and getting her heart broken. With the new arrang...
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Jet Repossesed, Trump Stranded In Milwaukee

Funny story: Jet Repossesed, Trump Stranded In Milwaukee
Donald Trump's reality candidacy crashed into reality show Airplane Repo in Milwaukee when Trump's jet was repossessed by none other than Nick Popovich, one of the most experienced and prolific aviation repo pros on the planet. "Normally we've wor...
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Pokemon NO GO

Funny story: Pokemon NO GO
Pokémon Go! A light hearted game that has brought joy to millions inside and outside the UK. A harmless scavenger hunt designed to bring players together in the search for the elusive Mewtwo (or three). But what if the App had other more sinister ram...
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New On Fox: Ann Coulter Witch Project

Funny story: New On Fox: Ann Coulter Witch Project
A new coven is in town with a down-homey, right wing, and bombastic take on political events. On Fox's new Witch Project, Ann Coulter hosts along with regular guest hosts Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, and Christine O'Donnell. The four seasoned witch...
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Water Waste Of Time

Funny story: Water Waste Of Time
One thing you can always rely on with BATTL News is that we will eventually come back with something irrelevant and pointless just when you thought we'd finally buggered off. Yet after discovering that a "Water Only Bar" was to open in London we k...
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New Libertarian Slogan: Feel The Johnson

Just don't feel the Johnson burn.
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Funny story: Dinner with Gronk

Dinner with Gronk

FOXBORO-- Rob Gronkowski has started to rev up his personality for the forthcoming football season. They begin stretching and yoga this week at the Patriots camp, and it has Gronk excited, according to a new interview. You have to pick up your Gro...
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Funny story: 90s TV Legend Sgt. Bash Lands New MTV Reality Show

90s TV Legend Sgt. Bash Lands New MTV Reality Show

Things are about to fire up after legendary late 90s TV robot Sergeant Bash announced his television comeback. The Robot Wars star (18) was believed to be very disappointed after he was snubbed in the BBC's upcoming reboot of the Friday night glad...
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Funny story: Bill Cosby's Wife Camille Didn't Realize Bill Had Ever Left the Mansion

Bill Cosby's Wife Camille Didn't Realize Bill Had Ever Left the Mansion

Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts Camille Cosby, wife of alleged disgraced comic Bill Cosby, swore in a deposition today that she had no knowledge of any of the more than 50 sexual assaults her husband is accused of participating in. "I didn't even k...
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Funny story: Church of Satan Sues Led Zeppelin

Church of Satan Sues Led Zeppelin

Auntie Sandra Levi, High Priestess of The Church of Satan, filed a lawsuit this week alleging that rock band Led Zeppelin plagiarized the copyrighted liturgy of her church. "When they recorded the subliminal Satanic lyrics in Stairway to Heaven, t...
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Funny story: Trump to be new 'Top Gear' presenter

Trump to be new 'Top Gear' presenter

In a shock move, the BBC announced today that Matt le Blanc would be replaced by the potential Republican nominee, Donald Trump, if he fails to win the presidency later this year. Le Blanc, who disgraced himself earlier this week by eating doughnu...
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Funny story: Erskine Quint is a reincarnated H.G.Wells!

Erskine Quint is a reincarnated H.G.Wells!

After surviving two epic adventures by the thick skin of his wonderful, shiny set of dentures, it seems that aristocratic superhero, Erskine Quint Esq, has been reincarnated and stuck in a time machine, a la H.G.Wells, just prettier though! After...
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Funny story: Guns N' Roses Reunion Show Brings Celebrities You Forgot Existed

Guns N' Roses Reunion Show Brings Celebrities You Forgot Existed

Last night in Los Angeles, Guns N' Roses played their first reunion show at the famous Troubadour. Only 500 tickets were available, and you bet the club was filled with lucky fans and celebrities you forgot existed. Lenny Kravitz made a splash whe...
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Funny story: Scamatology Head David Makemerich Asked to Star in Movie Blockbuster About Him

Scamatology Head David Makemerich Asked to Star in Movie Blockbuster About Him

Clearlydelusional, FL In startling movie news, Scamatology Head Cheese has purchased a large movie studio in the El Lay area to twin up with the other movie studio he bought a few years ago. The first movie announced by the new studio will be a b...
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Al N.
Al N.
Joined: 20 November 2013
Stories Written: 232

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