Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 June 2011

image for Madonna and Jennifer Aniston Involved In A Vicious Restaurant Catfight
Madonna shown disproving the rumor that she was letting her underarm hair grow out. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

BROOKLYN - Madonna and Jennifer Aniston were both having dinner separately at Brooklyn's infamous Johnny Appleseed Diner which is located across the street from The Mark Cuban Cigar Store.

According to a female patron who did not want any information revealed except to say that she is 27, weighs 119, and is known as "The Blonde Brooklyn Bombshell" she divulged that suddenly and without any provocation Madonna looked over toward Aniston and simply said, "Biological Clock."

Aniston asked her what she was talking about.

Madonna told her that she had noticed that she had not had any children and then added that her ex-husband Brad (Pitt) whom Angelina Jolie had stolen from her had six kids.

Aniston hollered back that it was really none of her business and suggested that she go back to her plate of road kill and worry about the fact that she has really over done the collagen thing cause her lips now looked like those of a sperm whale.

Madonna then sarcastically said that at least she has boyfriends that stay with her after doing the 'do' and unlike her don't leave once they visit the pink palace one or four times.

Jennifer responded by saying that unlike her, she did not have to spend thousands of dollars a month on Cellulite-Be-Gone Cream, Wrinkles Away Lotion, Liver Spot Removal Salve, and Bikini Taco Rejuvenating Lubricant.

Suddenly Madonna stood up and started walking toward Aniston's table. Aniston stood up and the two met right next to the "The Blonde Brooklyn Bombshell's" table.

Madonna grabbed Jennifer's hair and swung her around. Aniston then kicked her in her crotch with her expensive Bally Renova Dress Boots, which would have hurt like hell if Madonna was a guy and had a wiener and balls.

By then two waiters and the pastry chef made their way to the two women who were now both on the floor rolling around like a pair of giant halibuts who had just been netted and tossed onto the deck of a fishing boat.

The pastry chef grabbed Aniston and the two waiters had to restrain Madonna who has biceps that lots of guys would be jealous of.

The manager and a security guard showed up and together they escorted both women to the door. The manager told them that The Johnny Appleseed Diner was a highly respectable family establishment and that he would not be putting up with the likes of two basically has been celebrities.

Aniston informed the manager that she still made movies whereas Madonna had not had a Top 40 song since 2005.

Madonna is 52, but looks 62. Jennifer Aniston is 42, but looks 41.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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