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Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for Savoy Drunk - CCTV Footage Goes Viral
This Man Is In Danger Of Coming A Cropper If He Drinks Much More

CCTV footage showing a series of drunken mishaps experienced by a reveller after being ejected from a theatre party at London's plush Savoy Hotel, has gone viral on the internet, generating up to a million hits an hour!

Sources reveal that the man was ejected from the event - hosted by Stephen Fry - by hotel staff, after he repeatedly fell over at the feet of Sir Ian McKellan.

The man was then tracked by CCTV cameras as he wandered about in the West End. The footage shows the man stumbling down a flight of stairs, then rolling over a handrail, landing flat on his face, and flipping over onto his back. Further footage shows the man bumping into walls and repeatedly falling over.

Skoob News's resident freelance reporter, Martin Shuttlecock - himself a notorious pisshead - watched the footage with interest, not to mention an analytical eye.

"This footage isn't really very funny," Shuttlecock remarked. "It's obvious that the man is clearly mullered beyond all recognition. I shudder to imagine the world of pain that man would have been in the morning after this, had he been sober. As it is, he'll probably just have a headache and a few bruises. He's a lucky boy."

Regular SN consultant, Doctor John Watson, agreed with Shuttlecock, as he pointed out that when somebody is totally hammered, they are also as relaxed as it is possible to be, at least in a state of consciousness. Which explains why the streets of Britain are filled with drunks falling over in all directions, yet not breaking bones because they're so relaxed.

Intensive further SN investigations have so far failed to identify the man in the CCTV footage, but we can be reasonably certain that he felt like fucking shit the following day.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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