Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 29 June 2011

image for Danger Mouse has a middle name
Charley Mouse believes some things should be kept secret

Danger Mouse, the unflappable cartoon secret agent rodent, friend of Penfold and enemy of Baron Greenback has had his middle name revealed by WikiLeaks.

The most remarkable aspect of the revelation is not that Danger Mouse has a middle name, a lot of superhero mice have middle names. Mighty Mouse actually had a middle name of Mike, which he used on occasion as a secret identity. Contrary to popular opinion, it was not Super, as the name Super Mouse was already taken. And nor was Mighty Mouse's middle name Danger, as he claimed in one episode. There is only one Danger Mouse.

According to WikiLeaks, Danger Mouse's middle name, however, is Danger. It is not Danger Danger Mouse, for that would have indicated uncool parents; Danger Mouse is too cool to have been sired by uncool parents. Instead, like Jerry from Tom and Jerry fame, Danger Mouse has a first name that has previously gone unreported. Jerry's first name is Gerald.

After WikiLeaks revealed that Danger Mouse was using his middle name as his first name, the biggest mystery became what was Danger Mouse's first name,

"For years," said Fingermouse, the cardboard puppet from the 1970s show he gave his name and whole career too. "For years, it was like the Morse thing, where he wouldn't give his name. But he eventually told me. Not Morse, I never met him. DM told me in confidence while we drunk on cheese wine."

Charley and Maisy Mouse believe that Danger Mouse's first name should remain a secret.

"WikiLeaks broke our affair," said Maisy Mouse. "It destroyed Bagpuss."

"We were going to tell him," said Charlie Mouse. "He deserved to know. But in our own time. So we think WikiLeaks should keep out of this one."

Ordinarily, the source of the WikiLeak leak doesn't come forward. In this instance, they did.

"I revealed to the world Danger Mouse's middle name," said The Brain, shushing his companion, Pinky. "And now he is in hiding because of the embarrassment of me revealing his first name here and now. Once I reveal it, I can take over the world. His first name is Putin."

And what about Putin Danger Mouse?

Still AWOL.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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