Funny story: Jesus - I Don't Want Any More Sunbeams

Jesus - I Don't Want Any More Sunbeams

Jesus has appealed to people not to try to be sunbeams, as he is snowed under with them. "He told our religious affairs journalist, "I don't know who wrote that fucking 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' song but since the financial crashes I've a millio...
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Tests Indicate Venezuelans Are Most Resilient People On Earth

Tests carried out by Anthropologists trying to cheer up the population of rain sodden Wales have revealed that whatever happens to Venezuelans, they come up smiling and have an unshakable belief that things will get better. The controversial tests...
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The Dirty half Dozen

The Metropolitan Police reveal their 6 most wanted criminals this Christmas including an 88 year man, Norman Todger, 'who attacked an elderly neighbour with a worn out rampant rabbit after finding him in bed shagging his wife,Ethel aged 90'! Crime...
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Funny story: Amazing Cure for Everything Discovered

Amazing Cure for Everything Discovered

A scientific study has revealed, for the first time, a cure for every known ailment. The study, conducted in our street, found a 100% of those questioned had always found drinking tea with honey cured any illness they had. Mrs Expresso advised her...
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Funny story: Virtual Snow in the French Alps

Virtual Snow in the French Alps

A serious deficit in snow - fall has lead to skiers finding a new way to enjoy the French 'Pistes' 'Neige Virtuel',or ' Virtual Snow', allows the skier to 'sense' the snow- rich slope, without ever leaving their chalet. The skier simply downloa...
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Over 98% Of Non-UK People Are Foreign - Daily Mail

The results of a survey of people carried out in over 50 countries show that over 98% of them are 'foreigners'. The Daily Mail allegedly stated that this is the way things are going and soon there could be even more foreigners abroad. The Daily Expre...
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'Permanent Special Anti-University Student Response Unit' to be set up

Following the Multi - Police Officer tazering of demonstrating students at Warwick University, last week, a new, permanent Response Unit, tackling Third Level Undergraduates only, is to be set up. 'The ''Intelligentsia'', contrary to what one migh...
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Funny story: Pope fires head of private army, says hat 'wasn't pointy enough' - reports

Pope fires head of private army, says hat 'wasn't pointy enough' - reports

Rome - The big cheese in charge of guarding the Pope has been booted out of the Vatican for violating its strict regimental dress code. Commander Guido Emmental's brightly colored Comb Moron - uh, Comb Morion! - a traditional helmet made from alt...
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Breaking News...

Barack I Now Wants to Be Addressed With a New Moniker

WashDC: Emperor Barack I has issued an imperial order that all courtiers and palace plebs shall now address him as: His Excellent Cubaness "Che-Fidelio". The Secret Service scrambled to update codes.
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Funny story: Victoria Nuland chokes on Siberian caviar falls under the table major attack averted

Victoria Nuland chokes on Siberian caviar falls under the table major attack averted

Ms. Victoria Nuland, Assistant Secretary of State for European and Eurasian affairs, is being considered for a new honorary title following her heroic actions at a celebratory dinner in Riga, Latvia yesterday evening. She had just announced that U...
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Funny story: Exclusive Interview with Bond Movie Hacker

Exclusive Interview with Bond Movie Hacker

The cyber-attack on the Sony's computer network on 25 November 2014 originated from North Korea. The intrepid hacker, hitherto unknown, put on line the script of the latest Bond movie SPECTRE currently still in production. The Bond leak has the p...
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Funny story: Spooky Oscar Pistorius weekend offer goes on sale

Spooky Oscar Pistorius weekend offer goes on sale

How would you like to spend a weekend in a spooky one bedroom apartment in South Africa? Not for the faint-hearted, this once in a lifetime experience will see you land at Johannesburg, where you will be collected by taxi, driven through the slums...
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Funny story: U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.

U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.

With the advent of a new bill that has mysteriously made its way through Congress to become law, the U.S. government has, to many minds, permanently dissolved itself and binned its own constitution for keeps. The Bill, hastily presented and passe...
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Funny story: Irish Government to stick Santa for yet another Austerity Tax

Irish Government to stick Santa for yet another Austerity Tax

In another bid to raise Austerity Taxes, this time seasonal, the Irish Government is looking at charging Santa for every time he crosses the Flight Paths over Dublin and Cork. Given that Santa's Business Itinerary takes in thousands of trips per...
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Funny story: Scottish Pandas are really hi and lo

Scottish Pandas are really hi and lo

The Pandas at Edinburgh zoo are not the rare Chinese bear like animals after all. Suspicion grew when it was noticed the two pandas who were sharing a meal of bamboo shoots, were both using chopsticks. When the Pandas were asked to remove the...
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Funny story: Office Christmas party goes downhill fast after hot girl in accounts leaves early

Office Christmas party goes downhill fast after hot girl in accounts leaves early

Employees at McLellans Systems Ltd reported a dive in morale at this years Christmas party when the company's "hot girl in accounts" left at 7.30pm. "Before then the party was in full swing and many of the guys in the company were happy and chatt...
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Funny story: US House congratulates itself on action to inform, inflame, inveigle, and induce

US House congratulates itself on action to inform, inflame, inveigle, and induce

Last Thursday the US House of Representatives passed resolution HR 758 criticizing Russia on Ukraine. It passed 411-10. Yesterday the House passed a new resolution to congratulate itself on Thursday's success. This new resolution, HR 758b, is...
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Joined: 12 February 2012
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