Funny story: Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Men who masturbate have been given a dire warning by a Muslim televangelist who claimed live on TV that they will find their hands PREGNANT in the afterlife. Mucahid Cihad Han made the bizarre statement in a question and answer session on a radica...
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General Election: The Good Goss Recap

The General Election is now over, bringing an end to the 'most exciting election ever'. Well, that's what the media was drilling into us. Over £100 million was bet on the outcome of the election, as the nation held its breath to find out the result o...
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If men had periods

According to recent research, if men had periods they would brag about them on Facebook, Sports Commentators would incorporate menstrual impact on a Footballer's performance, and bookmakers would factor a player's menstrual cycle into their betting...
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Funny story: Mexican Demon 'Charlie' not a Twitter user

Mexican Demon 'Charlie' not a Twitter user

People around the world are trying to summon a "Mexican demon" named Charlie, using pencils and a bit of paper. This follows a Twitter explosion, #CharlieCharlieChallenge, where readers are encouraged to summon the demon to answer their questions,...
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Funny story: Grimsby woman's neglect left houseplant in 'terrible condition'

Grimsby woman's neglect left houseplant in 'terrible condition'

A woman who neglected a house plant by refusing it water and sunlight so badly that it had grey leaves has been banned from keeping all plants for life. The emaciated condition of the plant was so horrific that it was the worst case of its kind th...
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Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

A brazen thief has admitted taking various pets from 21 pet stores across the Black Country and Staffordshire without paying for them during a seven-month stealing spree. Ecbert Sitz drove across various towns in the West Midlands with the intent...
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OMFG! Shaikh of Araby's swear box secrets freak out Hillary Clinton

The Gulf - An eminent Arabian head of state who fined visitng dignitaries for profane language is making America's former Cursed Lady squirm. Shaikh Ratel Anrol, head of the powerful House of Swords, secretly installed a Sharia-compliant swear box...
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Funny story: 2015 Election SHOCK result!

2015 Election SHOCK result!

I've just come back in my time machine from 8th with the election result: After a hung parliament Labour bashed out a deal with UKIP. With this new government UKIP will claim victory with Britain's independence from the European Union's 'tyranny'...
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Breaking News...

Hungarian President Beaten To Death By All Male Mob For Criticizing Internet Porn

Hungary's President was killed by a mob, angry over rumors that he thought internet porn "unbecoming." He has been replaced with a dictator and all of his political allies shot.
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Funny story: Man Walking Dog In Woods Doesn't Find Murder Victim

Man Walking Dog In Woods Doesn't Find Murder Victim

A man walking his dog in a wooded area near Evesham has told friends how, despite expecting to any minute, he didn't find a mutilated corpse, the victim of some gruesome revenge killing or spontaneous, frenzied 'rape-gone-wrong'. The man, Ernest N...
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Funny story: Officer workers to stage strike in Plymouth in protest against water cooler restrictions

Officer workers to stage strike in Plymouth in protest against water cooler restrictions

Angry office workers from Forresters Business Park are set to go on strike this Friday in protest at restricted water cooler usage at their building. The one-day strike on March 8 is the first of a programme of action by the Public and Commercial...
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Funny story: Pensioner kept 26 toys in 'hazardous' conditions at his home where they were deprived of cuddles

Pensioner kept 26 toys in 'hazardous' conditions at his home where they were deprived of cuddles

* Inspectors found toys in appalling conditions at the house in Liverpool * The toys had been kept in squalid conditions by Raymond Coll, 66 * Mr Coll initially denied he was the owner and claimed he was a burglar * Officials also found a la...
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Funny story: Tea Party All-Stars to Negotiate Merger with ISIS Following 'Beheading Obama' Pic Posted

Tea Party All-Stars to Negotiate Merger with ISIS Following 'Beheading Obama' Pic Posted

Twenty minutes of Photoshop has caused the two greatest terrorist organizations in the world to come together to destroy democracy. Thanks, Adobe. On Saturday, a supporter of ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) released a graphic photo of Presi...
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Funny story: Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

A feckless father has been banned from every single Greggs along an entire 13 mile stretch of coastland after going on a six year sausage roll addiction funded by state handouts. Jobless Mervin Gardener, 25, terrorised police, supermarket security...
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Funny story: Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

A Ramsgate man robbed a bank two days before Christmas and escaped with a large amount of money. Bill Reid armed himself with a can of Coca Cola and held up a security guard delivering cash and Coke cans to a Nat West Bank in the town. But when...
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Funny story: $1m compensation for disabled man who fell off public toilet after eight year legal wait

$1m compensation for disabled man who fell off public toilet after eight year legal wait

Barking, Isle of Dogs - A local authority is to pay one million dollars compensation to a man who fell off the pot after eight years in a public toilet. Barking Council agreed the seven figure payout as part of its compensation culture initiative...
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Funny story: Wild Bore Wreaks Havoc In Hong Kong Clothing Boutique

Wild Bore Wreaks Havoc In Hong Kong Clothing Boutique

Hong Kong - Poor bastard had to be tranquilized with a police riot-issue stun gun before being carted off to wild hog rehab. Weighing 200lbs and covered in ticks the Sus Scrofa or Sino-Eurasian wild swine had crashed through a Hong Kong clothes s...
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Joined: 04 June 2010
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