Funny story: Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Men who masturbate have been given a dire warning by a Muslim televangelist who claimed live on TV that they will find their hands PREGNANT in the afterlife. Mucahid Cihad Han made the bizarre statement in a question and answer session on a radica...
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General Election: The Good Goss Recap

The General Election is now over, bringing an end to the 'most exciting election ever'. Well, that's what the media was drilling into us. Over £100 million was bet on the outcome of the election, as the nation held its breath to find out the result o...
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If men had periods

According to recent research, if men had periods they would brag about them on Facebook, Sports Commentators would incorporate menstrual impact on a Footballer's performance, and bookmakers would factor a player's menstrual cycle into their betting...
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Funny story: Mexican Demon 'Charlie' not a Twitter user

Mexican Demon 'Charlie' not a Twitter user

People around the world are trying to summon a "Mexican demon" named Charlie, using pencils and a bit of paper. This follows a Twitter explosion, #CharlieCharlieChallenge, where readers are encouraged to summon the demon to answer their questions,...
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Funny story: Road reopens after Asda receipt is found on M2 near Sittingbourne

Road reopens after Asda receipt is found on M2 near Sittingbourne

A section of the M2 has reopened - more than eight hours after an Asda receipt was found near a slip road. Highways Agency experts say the receipt has now been removed from near the exit slip road at Junction 5 of the M2 coastbound carriageway for...
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European feminist accused of being jealous of a Saudi marriage

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia- Saudi Arabia's King redrew the line of tolerance on Wednesday, declaring that European's were jealous of Saudi men because the Kingdom allows them to have four wives and this jealousy is causing anti-Arab sentiments coming from...
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So old and gaga there's mothballs up her fanny

London - "In addition to destroying insects such as moths and silverfish," the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon explained, "royal mothballs make useful stovepipe cleaners and snake repellants." The remarks come amid reports that Britain's Queen...
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Funny story: Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down.

Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down.

Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the Internet giant Google has officially made itself the greatest source of knowledge in the entire universe, surpassing even that of Douglas Adam's giant planet computer in Hitchhik...
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Breaking News...

Hungarian President Beaten To Death By All Male Mob For Criticizing Internet Porn

Hungary's President was killed by a mob, angry over rumors that he thought internet porn "unbecoming." He has been replaced with a dictator and all of his political allies shot.
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Funny story: Kim Kardashian opens Osama bin Laden library in Bahrain

Kim Kardashian opens Osama bin Laden library in Bahrain

Reality television celebrity Kim Kardashian brought out screaming fans, angry protesters and police throwing smoke grenades on Saturday when she visited Bahrain to launch an Osama bin Laden National library. About 200 demonstrated with banners i...
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Funny story: Tea Party All-Stars to Negotiate Merger with ISIS Following 'Beheading Obama' Pic Posted

Tea Party All-Stars to Negotiate Merger with ISIS Following 'Beheading Obama' Pic Posted

Twenty minutes of Photoshop has caused the two greatest terrorist organizations in the world to come together to destroy democracy. Thanks, Adobe. On Saturday, a supporter of ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) released a graphic photo of Presi...
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Funny story: United Arab Emirates national flag on 100ft flagpole discovered on NASA's Mars pics

United Arab Emirates national flag on 100ft flagpole discovered on NASA's Mars pics

Arabian Gulf - There were huge grins all round at the Al Mushrif Presidential Palace in Abu Dhabi this weekend as NASA released images of the red planet's Aeolis Mons district showing the UAE national flag flying atop a 100ft pole. "Of course thi...
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Funny story: China Announces First 'Loogie Olympics!'

China Announces First 'Loogie Olympics!'

Beijing, China - Already seven long and lonely years removed from the glorious limelight of the world's sporting attention, from their epic 2008 Olympic display, China finds themselves looking around at a bunch of weird looking stadiums and wondering...
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Funny story: Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

A feckless father has been banned from every single Greggs along an entire 13 mile stretch of coastland after going on a six year sausage roll addiction funded by state handouts. Jobless Mervin Gardener, 25, terrorised police, supermarket security...
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Funny story: 2015 Election SHOCK result!

2015 Election SHOCK result!

I've just come back in my time machine from 8th with the election result: After a hung parliament Labour bashed out a deal with UKIP. With this new government UKIP will claim victory with Britain's independence from the European Union's 'tyranny'...
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Funny story: Liberation Of Tibet Imminent - Dalai Lama ecstatically states that Tibet will once again be his and celebrates with the buying of surfs!

Liberation Of Tibet Imminent - Dalai Lama ecstatically states that Tibet will once again be his and celebrates with the buying of surfs!

The Dalai who is quickly approaching his eightieth birthday has said recently "This will be the year!" referring the end of Tibetan struggle with China being aligned with his eightieth birthday. A well-established fact amongst most of the Dalai Lama'...
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Funny story: Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

A brazen thief has admitted taking various pets from 21 pet stores across the Black Country and Staffordshire without paying for them during a seven-month stealing spree. Ecbert Sitz drove across various towns in the West Midlands with the intent...
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j.w.
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Joined: 04 June 2010
Stories Written: 841

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