Funny story: CNN warns cash-point queuers to be wary of suicide bombers

CNN warns cash-point queuers to be wary of suicide bombers

World famous spreader of disasters, Coca Cola and McDonald adverts, CNN, has issued the following warning after an incident near the north of Paris in the famous Gaelic city surrounded by a Roman wall. It seems that people queuing up to empty thei...
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Isle of Wight News - All Prisoners In H.M.P Isle of Wight To Be Released Into Community

A pill which cures prisoners of the urge to commit crimes is to be given to all inmates of H.M.P Isle of Wight. The pill's effects, which although it has to be administered daily, mean that all prisoners will remain completely law abiding as long as...
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Seven-way bare-knuckle fighting to replace political debate

The UK general election is only four months away, and TV companies are gagging for an exciting televised showdown between the main contenders. But instead of a debate, there is to be a bare-knuckle fight between all seven of the main party leaders, b...
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Funny story: Cameron's forehead declared 'brown-belt land fit for council housing development'

Cameron's forehead declared 'brown-belt land fit for council housing development'

The housing shortage in Britain reached new peaks yesterday as it was announced that PM David Cameron's forehead had officially been declared brown-belt land, suitable for a new social housing development. the site, estimated at approximately 6-8...
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Funny story: Chilly Report Leaked

Chilly Report Leaked

The Chilly Report, an investigation into the Middle East war from the early 2000s, has been five years in the writing and is almost ready for release. Your fearless reporter has managed to obtain a copy of the final version of the Chilly Report wh...
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Christlam - The New World Religion Unveiled

Following his visit to the Holy Land in May last year when he prayed at the Wailing Wall and celebrated mass in the Cenacle, (the hall on Jerusalem's Mount Zion), Pope Francis called a meeting of the world's religious leaders to his rooms at the Vati...
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You Now Have Nowhere to Hide... "For your Own Good".

The man from Home Security, Klaus Offenbach, told us that "it is all for your own good". What was he referring to? And did any of us ask him or the totalitarian government masquerading as a multi-party 'democracy' that he serves for any help? He is r...
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Funny story: Grimethorpe most popular tourist town in 2014

Grimethorpe most popular tourist town in 2014

Grimethorpe has once again scooped the top spot as the most popular tourist destination in the world. Some 155 people visited Yorkshire's secret gem in 2013, with the coal by-products factory, the library, newsagents and Pentecostal church maintai...
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Breaking News...

New England Patriots accused of replacing Indianapolis Colts with a deflated team

That would explain a lot.
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Funny story: Elton John to blame for white rhino extinction

Elton John to blame for white rhino extinction

The white rhino is now effectively extinct. The last female is no longer able to reproduce, and it's all Elton John's fault. In November, Mr John was on holiday visiting the Um Bongo game reserve in Kenya with his husband David Furnish, when he pa...
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Funny story: Building a Snowman... the Road to Damnation

Building a Snowman... the Road to Damnation

When snow covered Tabuk Province near Saudi Arabia's border with Jordan for the third consecutive year Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid sprang immediately into action: "It is not permitted to make a statue out of snow, even by way of play and fun,"...
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Funny story: 500 Poodle Parlours Closed Down For Grooming Under-Age Dogs

500 Poodle Parlours Closed Down For Grooming Under-Age Dogs

A six month surveillance operation on sleazy dog grooming premises throughout the U.K. ended this morning with almost 1000 arrests. Puppies are not legally allowed to be groomed before the age of 7 weeks. The sting, codename W.A.L.K.I.E.S and targett...
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Funny story: Blair to give On The Runs 'evidence' about fugitive bastards' sprint to top statesmen jobs

Blair to give On The Runs 'evidence' about fugitive bastards' sprint to top statesmen jobs

London - Feckin filthy Oirish terrists cut themselves one helluva sweetheart deal a UK Parliamentary Committee will hear on Tuesday as former Prime Monster Tony B Liar takes the stand at a Norhtern Ireland affairs grill. Politicians are probing ho...
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Funny story: 2,000 Injured In Bradford Stampede As Taxi Driver Shouts "Taxi for Abu"

2,000 Injured In Bradford Stampede As Taxi Driver Shouts "Taxi for Abu"

A "rookie" taxi driver, who pulled up in the centre of Bradford last night at 11.30 and shouted, "Is there an Abu here?" has been suspended after 2,000 Abus were taken to Bradford Hospital A&E unit with crush injuries. First names, tradition...
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Funny story: 'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP

'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP

Nigel Garage, leader of the UKIPs, has launched a new policy offensive to counter the threat posed by a rampant Green Party in the UK. If elected, the UKIPs have confirmed that they will erected a dome over the UK which will ensure that no 'foreig...
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Funny story: Sordid Arabia dubbed the world's morality toilet

Sordid Arabia dubbed the world's morality toilet

Dammam, Saudi Arabia - The Sanitation Operatives International League - SOIL - has commemorated high falutin' Saudi rhetoric with its annual Bullshit Gong for poisoning citizens' minds with Sharia garbage. It is the 60th consecutive year that the...
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Funny story: Government minister: 'better France than us'

Government minister: 'better France than us'

A high ranking government official has expressed his relief that last week's terrorist attacks took place in Paris rather than in London. The former cabinet minister, who wishes to remain anonymous, told this satirist, "I'm delighted that the terr...
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Andy Tattersall
Andy Tattersall
Joined: 27 January 2004
Stories Written: 9

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