Funny story: Pensioners' bus trip goes awry

Pensioners' bus trip goes awry

A group of Dorking pensioners' bus trip to the south of France suffered a mishap yesterday when a satnav error led the driver to deliver the elderly tourists to a euthanasia clinic in Switzerland. Sadly all seventeen of the passengers were slaughtere...
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Dalai Lama Sues Canon Welby: "Middle Way" not Anglican Property

The Dalai Lama may be a man of few possessions™, but he's hoping to get the better of Anglican Archbishop Justin Welby in a very material manner; while also sticking up for the faithful (at least, the right kind of faithful, anyway). Attendi...
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Putin mourns Boris Nemtsov's four-bullet 'suicide'

Moscow - An official Kremlin obit posted today described the politician's death as a four-bullet back-of-the-head tragedy, a classic 'suicide' in KGB terms. Commenting on Russian breakfast TV Vladimir Putin looked tearful and borderline sincere a...
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Funny story: Police have tazered kids, but it's an act of kindness

Police have tazered kids, but it's an act of kindness

British Police have multi - tazered University Students, now it appears they have tazered kids, teenagers of 14. 'It's really just to give them a light reprimand, as opposed to being shot dead', says DCI Jonny Tennyson 'We are issued with bulle...
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Funny story: Prince Harry kicked out of the army

Prince Harry kicked out of the army

London - The sacking comes after a 'joke' Jihadi uniform and Islamic State flag were found in the Prince's barracks locker. Along with five grenade launchers and an ounce of skag. This morning Harry's explanation that it's just his Special Ops...
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Jihadi John Says Dress is White and Gold

"Jihadi John" or Mohammed Emwazi, a west London man believed to be an ISIS militant - and chief executioner - has waded mask first into the "is this dress gold and white or is it blue and black?" melee by declaring that the dress is 'definitely'white...
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Queen Defends The Fabulous

The Queen of the Purple Isles has hit back at suggestions that The Fabulous should be banned from socialising with so-called 'Ordinaries'. Harry Rump of the Roundguts claimed that The Fabulous are a bizarre group who differ on every conceivable so...
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Funny story: Trouble in paradise, North Wales

Trouble in paradise, North Wales

North Wales- In Denbigh, neighbors scuppereed eating their breakfast and gathered outwith at their neighbors driveway to watch the owner of a 1978 spitfire struggle to free his jam-jar from the snow. "I 'eard loud screechin' noises an' realized me...
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Breaking News...

Emperor Finally Issues A "Secure Borders" Edict

Barack I degreed today all borders of the US Empire shall be sealed to prevent entry of the "undesirable alien" Bibi Netanyahu. Chief of Secret Storm Troopers, Eric Holder, will personally enforce it.
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Funny story: Pope offers new guidelines for flock's bedroom behavior

Pope offers new guidelines for flock's bedroom behavior

Once again, Pope Francis is trying to manage the intimate details of the lives of his flock. Previously, in a mixed metaphor, the pontiff raised eyebrows by suggesting that the faithful, who are made in God's image, are "not rabbits" and should no...
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Funny story: Whyalla, the undiscovered gem in South Australia

Whyalla, the undiscovered gem in South Australia

Whyalla, South Australia is a steel making town nestled in the picturesque desert region of the what is quaintly called the "Iron Triangle". Whyalla is progressive town with many attractions such as the world famous Whyalla Foreshore Cafe and the...
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Funny story: Queen caught sneaking out of the Palace and pretending to be a homeless person again

Queen caught sneaking out of the Palace and pretending to be a homeless person again

Members of the royal family and local security picked up the Queen yesterday after she went missing from Buckingham Palace. Palace guards reported her gone at lunch time shortly after Sunday mass. Prince Charles and Camilla then drove round the...
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Funny story: Elgin Marbles Row - Britain Cheated, Claims Greek Games Minister

Elgin Marbles Row - Britain Cheated, Claims Greek Games Minister

The Greek minister for skipping and street games, Mr. Aristos Popadopalus Papadopolus has accused the late Lord Elgin of cheating and using illegally weighted marbles in the 1800 contest in which he won a ship full of priceless "marble" marbles.
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Funny story: Royal Family Mad at Prince Henry for Giving Marijuana to Prince Charles

Royal Family Mad at Prince Henry for Giving Marijuana to Prince Charles

Windsor Castle The Royal Family are having a battle royal since discovering Prince Henry gave Prince Charles some marijuana. "If you thought he was boring before, you should here him now. If he gets started on the philosophy of gardening, he can g...
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Funny story: ISIS Splinter Group Threatens Siamese Belgian Twin Nun Beheading If Olympic Host City Demands Not Met

ISIS Splinter Group Threatens Siamese Belgian Twin Nun Beheading If Olympic Host City Demands Not Met

A group once affiliated with ISIS has broken off and formed a splinter faction, claiming as their primary goal the "total, rapid modernization of the Levant", promising also an immediate, all out " blitz" of "humanist secularization" and complete and...
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Funny story: British army chiefs announce new Hide 'N' Sikh regiment ops

British army chiefs announce new Hide 'N' Sikh regiment ops

London - The British Chief of the General Stuff said today the new elite fighting corps(e) will be deployed 'as bait' on stealth missions in the upcoming Game of Sardines against Jihadi scum. Troops disguised in Ali Baba costumes will root around...
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Funny story: Iain Duncan Smith says that anyone healthy enough to claim benefits doesn't need benefits

Iain Duncan Smith says that anyone healthy enough to claim benefits doesn't need benefits

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Iain Duncan Smith has outlined a new philosophy on benefit claimants while talking to the BBC, suggesting that anyone well enough to claim benefits probably doesn't need them. Speaking of people with mental...
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K.C. Bell
K.C. Bell
Joined: 27 June 2004
Stories Written: 254

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