Funny story: Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank with can of Coke

A Ramsgate man robbed a bank two days before Christmas and escaped with a large amount of money. Bill Reid armed himself with a can of Coca Cola and held up a security guard delivering cash and Coke cans to a Nat West Bank in the town. But when...
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Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

A brazen thief has admitted taking various pets from 21 pet stores across the Black Country and Staffordshire without paying for them during a seven-month stealing spree. Ecbert Sitz drove across various towns in the West Midlands with the intent...
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Grimsby woman's neglect left houseplant in 'terrible condition'

A woman who neglected a house plant by refusing it water and sunlight so badly that it had grey leaves has been banned from keeping all plants for life. The emaciated condition of the plant was so horrific that it was the worst case of its kind th...
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Funny story: Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

A lorry driver has been jailed for smuggling chocolate bars through the Port of Dover. Richard Langford, 31, was caught with a staggering 5,000 kilos of Dairy Milk, 1,000 kilos of Galaxy and 3,000 U.S. Hershey's chocolate bars when he was stopped...
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Funny story: Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down.

Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down.

Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the Internet giant Google has officially made itself the greatest source of knowledge in the entire universe, surpassing even that of Douglas Adam's giant planet computer in Hitchhik...
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Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

A feckless father has been banned from every single Greggs along an entire 13 mile stretch of coastland after going on a six year sausage roll addiction funded by state handouts. Jobless Mervin Gardener, 25, terrorised police, supermarket security...
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Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

A shopkeeper who fell victim to a distraction theft says he has been overwhelmed with well wishes. A man entered the Bookshop in East Grinstead, West Sussex and asked for a cup of tea, before reaching into the shopkeeper's pockets and stealing his...
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Funny story: Woman attacks builders for improper behaviour

Woman attacks builders for improper behaviour

Verruca Fluck, a 23 year-old hairdresser from Bolton, has taken unprecedented legal action today against a gang of local builders. Miss Fluck has accused the group of acting in an entirely inappropriate and ungentlemanly manner. Allegedly, Mis...
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Breaking News...

Kelly Carlin Revises George Carlin's List of Words You Can't Say on TV

George Carlin's only daughter, Kelly Carlin, has updated her father's famous list of the "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television".
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Funny story: Progress 69 Spacecraft: what are the odds of being fried by falling debris?

Progress 69 Spacecraft: what are the odds of being fried by falling debris?

The Cosmos - A dead Russian supply ship called Progress 69 is hurtling out of control somewhere in the stratosphere ahead of an imminent crash landing on planet Earth tomorrow. And everybody could be affected. Scientists at Moscow's Bigears Sp...
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Funny story: Plymouth beggar banned from discussing the weather

Plymouth beggar banned from discussing the weather

An aggressive beggar who is believed to have targeted disabled and elderly people has been banned from talking to strangers about the weather. Anthony Fox had even led his victims to discuss more technical weather-related subjects such as the leve...
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Funny story: So old and gaga there's mothballs up her fanny

So old and gaga there's mothballs up her fanny

London - "In addition to destroying insects such as moths and silverfish," the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon explained, "royal mothballs make useful stovepipe cleaners and snake repellants." The remarks come amid reports that Britain's Queen...
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Funny story: OMFG! Shaikh of Araby's swear box secrets freak out Hillary Clinton

OMFG! Shaikh of Araby's swear box secrets freak out Hillary Clinton

The Gulf - An eminent Arabian head of state who fined visitng dignitaries for profane language is making America's former Cursed Lady squirm. Shaikh Ratel Anrol, head of the powerful House of Swords, secretly installed a Sharia-compliant swear box...
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Funny story: Magu, The Jumping YouTube Cat, Accidentally Returned To Box Store

Magu, The Jumping YouTube Cat, Accidentally Returned To Box Store

Tokyo, Japan - Well, it finally happened - Magu, the lovable fluffy cat that loves to jump into any box he can find for his Youtube audience, was finally returned to a box store by accident on Friday. "I had just bought a new vacuum cleaner," expl...
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Funny story: Hellfire Club back in the saddle again

Hellfire Club back in the saddle again

London - A seedy trifecta of Hellfire Club bastards is back in charge of the British Government tonight. Three former Bullingdon boys - David Cameron, George Osborne and Boris Johnson - are pissing themselves stupid at pulling off a majority in wh...
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Funny story: Wild Bore Wreaks Havoc In Hong Kong Clothing Boutique

Wild Bore Wreaks Havoc In Hong Kong Clothing Boutique

Hong Kong - Poor bastard had to be tranquilized with a police riot-issue stun gun before being carted off to wild hog rehab. Weighing 200lbs and covered in ticks the Sus Scrofa or Sino-Eurasian wild swine had crashed through a Hong Kong clothes s...
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Funny story: 'The Provos shot and ate Shergar' Gerry Adams tells Prince Charles

'The Provos shot and ate Shergar' Gerry Adams tells Prince Charles

Ballybollox, Eire - The Prince of Wails was in shock today when ex-IRA scumbag Gerry Adams fingered diehard Provos for slaughtering and barbecuing the Aga Khan's fabled wonder horse. "They charcoal-grilled and ate him at a garden party during the...
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Joined: 04 June 2010
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