Funny story: Near-sighted policeman arrests saxophone

Near-sighted policeman arrests saxophone

A near-sighted policeman currently serving in Sheffield was the talk of his force, when he arrested a saxophone, mistaking the instrument for a crook. An onlooker described the moment when the policeman pulled up outside the music shop and grabbed...
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Kim Jong-Un Disappears As Spoof Writers Favour DLT And Justin Bieber Stories

The mystery of why Kim Jong-Un has not been seen during the DLT indecent assault trial deepened this morning as sources close to the supreme ruler claimed that he had acute piles and doctors were playing "hide and seek" with him in his palace while t...
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New Zealand - Sex Three Times A Day To Be Made Compulsory

The Hedonist lobby in the New Zealand parliament has gained overall control of the Government with a majority of 69. Recent statistics show that New Zealand's favourite alcopop, "Binge" is going out of fashion with a possible correlation with a reduc...
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Funny story: Kim Jong un "Glad About" D.L.T. Verdict

Kim Jong un "Glad About" D.L.T. Verdict

Kim Jong un announced today that his advisers have informed him that D.L.T baps are off the menu on international flights after a trial period. The tasting committee's verdict was announced this morning. The fattening sandwiches (Dutch cheese, let...
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Funny story: Verbalometer Sweeping the World

Verbalometer Sweeping the World

A new gadget called THE VERBALOMETER is set to go global and is already selling at lightning speed to governments and institutions all over the world. Anywhere where bureaucracy operates from the loftiest government department, your local council off...
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British Gurkha's ask government to provide them with girlfriends

British Gurkha's are to ask the government for a girlfriend each so that when they marry they can then retire in the UK. Gurkha's history to the British Crown goes back as far as 1815, but recently have felt that they are missing out because they...
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Doctor's Puddle Drama

A doctor almost drowned in what was described as a 'freak puddle' in Gloucester. Dr Mesut Foster was visiting the city on Tuesday when he stepped into the puddle, which was said to have been caused by a burst water main. An eye-witness said 'I sa...
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Funny story: Beards are 'fair game' says DLT

Beards are 'fair game' says DLT

Dave Lee Travis has blasted the British justice system for targeting celebs with beards and glasses. 'It's clear to me, as it should be to everybody else, if you wear a beard and glasses you are ten times more likely to be found guilty of sex off...
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Breaking News...

Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.


 
Funny story: Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest. The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the 'Yes' vote on independe...
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Funny story: Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires

Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires

A surprise plan to celebrate Scottish Independence by putting the female half of The Krankies on the moon backfired yesterday when it was realised that the intention had been to put the proposed Scottish Emblem, a swarm of midges, not midgets there.
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Funny story: Scottish Independence - What Will Happen To Empty Bank Premises?

Scottish Independence - What Will Happen To Empty Bank Premises?

Any Bank Buildings vacated by nervous banks after a "Yes" vote could be used to house low risk savings companies willing to lend money to small businesses. The companies will have to use people's savings to generate money and to lend money out polite...
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Funny story: War On Terror: ISIS Prisoners To Be Forced To Watch Gay Men Dancing

War On Terror: ISIS Prisoners To Be Forced To Watch Gay Men Dancing

The US has announced drastic punishments for any member of ISIS caught on the battlefield or returning to America from Syria and Iraq - and the announcement has left many shocked with many would be terrorists reconsidering whether or not joining the...
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Funny story: U.K's Prince Philip Looking Forward To Shooting Syrian Hamsters

U.K's Prince Philip Looking Forward To Shooting Syrian Hamsters

With Syria on the shortlist for counter terrorist strikes, Syrian war hamsters, or Golden Martyrs are being radicalised and trained by I.S. executioners to gnaw off the heads of sleeping American and British aid workers according to Spoof's secret A...
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Funny story: Queen Demands Alex Salmond's Head On A Pike

Queen Demands Alex Salmond's Head On A Pike

Despite carrying letters of safe conduct and passage to England, former Scottish first minister Alex Salmond was handed over to English soldiers at Robroyston near Glasgow late Friday night and has been transported to London on the orders of Queen El...
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Funny story: Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...
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Funny story: Central Reservations On M25 To Become Picnic Areas

Central Reservations On M25 To Become Picnic Areas

A plan to boost picnic areas was unveiled today by the British Government's Tourist Development Authority. Widened areas of busy central reservations are to have picnic benches and litter bins to cater for the growing number of impromptu roadside pic...
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Dr. Billingsgate
Dr. Billingsgate
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 378

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