Funny story: Doctors Can Choose To See Only Healthy People Under New Agreement

Doctors Can Choose To See Only Healthy People Under New Agreement

Following recent reports which incited outrage when it was revealed that doctors were opting out of working unsociable hours, new proposals have been passed that allow them the option of not having to see patients at all. Under the new scheme doct...
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New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning. Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...
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I'm long, long, long gone.

Police have issued details regarding the decomposed body of an elderly man who was recently discovered in a Tesco car park in Romford, Essex, where they say he may have lain dead for many, many years or more! Officers found the badly decomposed bo...
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Funny story: Groundbreaking Research: Godfrey Bloom Knows EXACTLY What He Is Doing

Groundbreaking Research: Godfrey Bloom Knows EXACTLY What He Is Doing

The media, in a somewhat ageist manner, has portrayed former UKIP golden boy Godfrey Bloom as an aging, eccentric grandfather whose mind is wandering somewhat™ . However, not everyone agrees. Yes: groundbreaking research by Guru Angus Le...
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Funny story: Cornwall Is "Axis Of Evil" State - Regime Change On Cards - Obama

Cornwall Is "Axis Of Evil" State - Regime Change On Cards - Obama

President Obama has expressed grave concern that Cornwall has been taken over by the militant Prince Charles, member of the British Royal Family and the Prince of Wales. Charles has been reported to the President by the C.I.A. as having undemocra...
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Pope rents out Fisting Chapel porch for party

Rome - The cash-strapped Pope is renting out the porch of his Apostolic Palace in the Vatican for a $5,900-per-head fisting party according to reports. Frankie the Argie stands to make $250,000 from the shindig which is part of his Diabolical Arts...
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Cameroon Proposes TV Debate with Class War

Prime Minister, David Cameroon, has come up with a clever plan to embarrass Labour by promoting a TV debate with Class War before the next election. He argued that there was a 'groundswell of opinion that dismissed all the effing political parties...
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Funny story: Obama Decides to Import Deadly Communicable Diseases

Obama Decides to Import Deadly Communicable Diseases

WASHINGTON D.C. - President Obama spoke to his advisers about a new plan to import deadly communicable diseases. "We can import people with highly contagious, deadly diseases to reduce the population of America to improve the economy" he said.
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Breaking News...

Obama Calls Secret Service On Sheet-Clad Trick-or-Treaters

Obama, not aware of its being Halloween, called the Secret Service on some sheet-clad ghost trick-or-treaters. "I was afraid they were going to burn a cross on the lawn," spoke a terrorized Obama.
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Funny story: Golf courses an endangered habitat, says UN

Golf courses an endangered habitat, says UN

A United Nations environmental report has highlighted the shocking statistic that the world has lost almost half of its golf courses since 1960. Every day, an area of golf courses the size of Wales becomes abandoned and left for the untamed forces of...
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Funny story: Astronaut Badly Burned In Bizarre Porridge Accident

Astronaut Badly Burned In Bizarre Porridge Accident

Astronaut Nigel Armstrong was this morning recovering at the serious burns unit in Norwich South Infirmary. After a malfunction caused Armstrong, dubbed "The Man In The Moon", to come down too soon, he inexplicably asked several bystanders the way to...
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Funny story: Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

A spokesman for the pro human pressure group "Kill All the Bastard Hamsters Brigade" (KABHB) has claimed that much like its brother rodent, the Chinese rat, the common hamster is responsible for the spread of a deadly epidemic that looks set to be...
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Funny story: The twang's the thang!

The twang's the thang!

A massive pair of soiled silk knickers once reputedly worn by Queen Victoria has sold for almost £500 an inch. The Royal underwear with a regal 52-inch waist, plus 66-inch bust chemise, sparked a fierce bidding war when they were auctioned this we...
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Funny story: Politicians Not Worth It

Politicians Not Worth It

A fringe meeting at our local pub has been given an accolade by the pub clientele when a meeting was secretly taped. One of our members is clearly heard saying: 'Our MP's are not worth it. They are all liars and cheats. I wouldn't pay them two pen...
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Funny story: Kim Jong-Un is on Video Game Binge

Kim Jong-Un is on Video Game Binge

Pyongyang, North Korea Kim Jong-Un, rotund ruler of North Korea, who has not been seen in public since early September, was revealed to be holed up in one of his palatial palaces playing video games. "Ever since he started playing Grand Theft Auto...
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Funny story: Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

The systematic addition of chemicals to Scottish water supplies is to resume to keep rebellion levels down. Additional chemical dosing will continue in keeping with pre-referendum Westminster policy, effectively maintaining a docile disposition in th...
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Funny story: Scientists in Ebola Virus Questionnaire Doesn't Go Far Enough Claim

Scientists in Ebola Virus Questionnaire Doesn't Go Far Enough Claim

Outraged medics have slammed Government claims to be screening new arrivals to the United Kingdom for Ebola Virus with seemingly pointless questionnaires about their grooming habits. The controversial form is being issued by Customs and Excise staff...
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joseph k winter
joseph k winter
Joined: 19 August 2012
Stories Written: 116

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