Funny story: Jesus - I Don't Want Any More Sunbeams

Jesus - I Don't Want Any More Sunbeams

Jesus has appealed to people not to try to be sunbeams, as he is snowed under with them. "He told our religious affairs journalist, "I don't know who wrote that fucking 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' song but since the financial crashes I've a millio...
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Tests Indicate Venezuelans Are Most Resilient People On Earth

Tests carried out by Anthropologists trying to cheer up the population of rain sodden Wales have revealed that whatever happens to Venezuelans, they come up smiling and have an unshakable belief that things will get better. The controversial tests...
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The Dirty half Dozen

The Metropolitan Police reveal their 6 most wanted criminals this Christmas including an 88 year man, Norman Todger, 'who attacked an elderly neighbour with a worn out rampant rabbit after finding him in bed shagging his wife,Ethel aged 90'! Crime...
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Funny story: Amazing Cure for Everything Discovered

Amazing Cure for Everything Discovered

A scientific study has revealed, for the first time, a cure for every known ailment. The study, conducted in our street, found a 100% of those questioned had always found drinking tea with honey cured any illness they had. Mrs Expresso advised her...
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Funny story: Virtual Snow in the French Alps

Virtual Snow in the French Alps

A serious deficit in snow - fall has lead to skiers finding a new way to enjoy the French 'Pistes' 'Neige Virtuel',or ' Virtual Snow', allows the skier to 'sense' the snow- rich slope, without ever leaving their chalet. The skier simply downloa...
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Over 98% Of Non-UK People Are Foreign - Daily Mail

The results of a survey of people carried out in over 50 countries show that over 98% of them are 'foreigners'. The Daily Mail allegedly stated that this is the way things are going and soon there could be even more foreigners abroad. The Daily Expre...
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Royal Family to Move to Australia

A spokesman for the British Foreign Office has announced that the House of Windsor has been transferred to Australia. There has been increasing speculation of late as to why the royal family are such frequent visitors to the continent. Kate and W...
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Funny story: Scottish Pandas are really hi and lo

Scottish Pandas are really hi and lo

The Pandas at Edinburgh zoo are not the rare Chinese bear like animals after all. Suspicion grew when it was noticed the two pandas who were sharing a meal of bamboo shoots, were both using chopsticks. When the Pandas were asked to remove the...
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Breaking News...

Barack I Now Wants to Be Addressed With a New Moniker

WashDC: Emperor Barack I has issued an imperial order that all courtiers and palace plebs shall now address him as: His Excellent Cubaness "Che-Fidelio". The Secret Service scrambled to update codes.
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Funny story: Irish Government to stick Santa for yet another Austerity Tax

Irish Government to stick Santa for yet another Austerity Tax

In another bid to raise Austerity Taxes, this time seasonal, the Irish Government is looking at charging Santa for every time he crosses the Flight Paths over Dublin and Cork. Given that Santa's Business Itinerary takes in thousands of trips per...
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Funny story: U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.

U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.

With the advent of a new bill that has mysteriously made its way through Congress to become law, the U.S. government has, to many minds, permanently dissolved itself and binned its own constitution for keeps. The Bill, hastily presented and passe...
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Funny story: 'Permanent Special Anti-University Student Response Unit' to be set up

'Permanent Special Anti-University Student Response Unit' to be set up

Following the Multi - Police Officer tazering of demonstrating students at Warwick University, last week, a new, permanent Response Unit, tackling Third Level Undergraduates only, is to be set up. 'The ''Intelligentsia'', contrary to what one migh...
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Funny story: Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives

Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives

Lady Jenkin's speech telling poor people to eat the disgusting sloppy prison fodder known as porridge fell on deaf ears yesterday. The peer told the press conference, which was attended by the Pope and the archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, t...
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Funny story: NHS to be funded by car-parking fees

NHS to be funded by car-parking fees

In a bid to reduce the overhead on the budget that is the NHS, the Conservatives have outlined a plan to decrease their spending on this national institution. "Basically," said George Osborne, "we're going to raise the money by increasing parking...
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Funny story: Spooky Oscar Pistorius weekend offer goes on sale

Spooky Oscar Pistorius weekend offer goes on sale

How would you like to spend a weekend in a spooky one bedroom apartment in South Africa? Not for the faint-hearted, this once in a lifetime experience will see you land at Johannesburg, where you will be collected by taxi, driven through the slums...
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Funny story: Washington Fury over "Freedom" Speech.

Washington Fury over "Freedom" Speech.

Washington: Fury erupted yesterday in the House of Representatives as Wisconscin's Paddy O'Shea addressed 435 members concerning a bill he had proposed that never made it past the first hurdle. This is what he said: "First of all, the blessed...
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Funny story: Jamie Olivier Re-Invents Mexican Prison Food

Jamie Olivier Re-Invents Mexican Prison Food

British T.V. Chef, Jamie Olivier has been invited to give Mexican prison food a facelift by Fernandez Pedro Jose Gomez, after Gordon Ramsay told the prison reformer to "fuck off" according to "Which Prison Food " magazine. Out with: soggy spinach,...
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rfreed
Joined: 10 October 2008
Stories Written: 334

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