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10#8514#Bureau#41443.8169907#1#217298

Nation Mourns Death of Serial Killer

"There's nothing on television, rotten movies, sex has gotten boring, tired of seeing youth with rings through their digits!", admits several at Jim's Bar & Girl.

10#8514#Bureau#41443.8109838#2#255619

Bear Hires Great Lawyer

Man who was recently attacked by bear could face serious charges, changes!

10#8514#Bureau#41443.8042824#3#845315

US, Taliban to start talks on ending Afghan war!

Most expect United States to make same deal as USSR, ten other nations before them.

10#8514#Bureau#41443.7709375#4#759439

Civil War Finally Over

In an effort to bring our nation together the descendants of Union & Confederate soldiers met in Washington today. The Union apologized for burning Atlanta, the Rebs apologized to Mrs. O'Leary's cow.

10#8514#Bureau#41443.7565162#5#118797

Obama: This Is Very Taxing

Tea Party Patriots: 'The largest Tea Party protest since 2010 is tomorrow' as one mousey little CPA keeps yelling "Treacle! More Treacle!"

10#8514#Bureau#41443.7485069#6#357548

Feds: Snooping foiled stock exchange plot!

Also, 3 couples in Presto, N.M. on 10th street aren't really married, Ms Dye of Brawny, Indiana wears falsies & Joe Don Moleturd of Rough River, Ky. now needs three 20MG. Levitra to do the trick.

10#8514#Bureau#41443.7424653#7#34374

Is President Being Taken Advantage Of?

Obama announces extra $300 million in 'life-saving' aid for Syrians, Hittites, Shuhites and Jebusites.

10#8514#Bureau#41443.7394329#8#708210

Miss Utah Gets New Question

Miss Utah gets a second chance to answer 'confusing' question: "Are Mormon men still beating their wives?"

10#8514#Bureau#41443.6483912#9#1043132

"Won't Even Wear Full-Cover Veils

Barbra Streisand slams treatment of women in Israel. Nose now all the way down past chin.

10#8514#Bureau#41443.6446991#10#692247

Obama On Syria

Obama: "Very easy to slip-slide into deeper Syrian involvement. In fact, the nearer your destination the more you're slip-sliding away." Does a little dance.

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