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10#8514#Bureau#40250.7366551#1

Apartheid Banks

Thousands of struggling bank customers will be connected to Indian call centres while more affluent account holders will get one in Britain. TheSpoof writers will only get a buzzing noise.

10#8514#Bureau#40250.7333796#2

Bernanke Warning #7

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke warns bank customers to keep a lookout for signs that it may be closing, such as: Free "I'm Screwed" helium balloon with the opening of every new account!

10#8514#Bureau#40250.7317708#3

Bernanke Warning #6

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke warns bank customers to keep a lookout for signs that it may be closing, such as: "You'll have to also sign on the bank, Sir. Hey, who has the pen?"

10#8514#Bureau#40250.7309606#4

Bernanke Warning #5

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke warns bank customers to keep a lookout for signs that it may be closing, such as: "You spot several of their office workers also working at WallyMart."

10#8514#Bureau#40250.7297917#5

Bernanke Warning #4

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke warns bank customers to keep a lookout for signs that it may be closing, such as: "You overhear one teller telling another, 'That frog dumpling recipe was wonderful."

10#8514#Bureau#40250.7288773#6

Bernanke Warning #3

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke warns bank customers to keep a lookout for signs that it may be closing, such as: "When the loan officer goes to the vault, she comes back with a bottle of water."

10#8514#Bureau#40250.7278704#7

Bernanke Warning #2

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke warns bank customers to keep a lookout for signs that it may be closing, such as "Kid all get a free rock."

10#8514#Bureau#40250.7270718#8

Bernanke Warning

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke warns bank customers to keep a lookout for signs that it may be closing, such as: "The teller has to check with the manager before they cash your twenty."

10#8514#Bureau#40250.6380787#9

No Lack Of Vision

President Obama lays out his vision of the rest of his four-year term. "Health Care Bill".

10#8514#Bureau#40250.6329167#10

Blood Pressure Special: 5 Minutes, $15

Occasionally high blood pressure may be a greater indicator of stroke risk than consistently high readings, researchers say. Urge self-paying patients to come in twice weekly.

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