Funny story: Man who gets drunk daily denies that he's an alcoholic

Man who gets drunk daily denies that he's an alcoholic

New York, N.Y. - Drew Dow of Roosevelt Island is an ordinary man with an extraordinary ability: his stomach uses excess yeast in his digestive tract to ferment carbs and sugar-dense foods into alcohol. This rare health condition is called auto-brewer...
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Goodreads Troll Spends Three Months Writing Review

A prolific book reviewer on popular website (and troll cave) 'Goodreads' has finally completed writing her 40,000 word, 1 star review for New York Times bestselling novel "The Gordonston Ladies Dog Walking Club" - calling her review a "masterpiece" b...
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Democrats Run From Obama, Numerous Track and Field Records Fall

Charlotte, NC - As President Obama, becoming known as 'The Toxic President' privately among his peers on the Left, travels to various districts around the country to raise funds for the Democratic party, many politicians are running the other way...
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Funny story: Trump Warns That American Patient Has Zombie Strain Of Ebola

Trump Warns That American Patient Has Zombie Strain Of Ebola

MANHATTAN -- Donald Trump is insisting the American returned to U.S. soil with the Ebola virus has contracted a mutated zombie strain of the disease that can reanimate the dead, which could lead to Democrats trying to register them to vote, according...
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Funny story: 'Sky Not Blue' According to US Congress

'Sky Not Blue' According to US Congress

WASHINGTON - Amid national and international crises, the US House of Representatives could not confirm the color of the sky. House Resolution 461, called for Congress to declare that the sky is blue. The resolution was proposed by Representative...
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Sunshine Daycare Under Investigation After Employees Allegedly Win At Candy Land

Local daycare provider Sunshine Daycare has had its license suspended and is under investigation by state regulators after allegations that its employees regularly beat toddlers at the game Candy Land. Several parents whose children attend Sunshine f...
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President Obama Rushed to Hospital with Chest Pain

President Barack Obama was rushed to the Walter Reed Army Medical Center with reported shortness of breath and chest pain, after being briefed about the results of a study tracking the progress of the first wave of "DREAMers", or those young people e...
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Funny story: Bush Meat Suspected In African Virus Pandemic

Bush Meat Suspected In African Virus Pandemic

Crawford, Texas - Thousands of packages of illicit bush meat labeled Rocky Mountain Oyster Delight have been traced to a bison testicle tickling - uh, pickling! - plant in Texas. A food hygiene standards swoop in Ebola-torn Sierra Leone this morn...
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Breaking News...

NYPD snorts of derision at latest drug story

Apparently a 'baffled' FIT student found10 pounds of coke in her luggage and voluntarily turned it in


 
Funny story: New "How To Become A Crazy Cat Lady" and "I Wonder If He's Gay" Courses Added To ACEO's Schedule

New "How To Become A Crazy Cat Lady" and "I Wonder If He's Gay" Courses Added To ACEO's Schedule

The Simmons County Adult Career Education Outreach (ACEO) has announced that two new courses will be permanently added to their current curriculum, beginning in October. "How To Become A Crazy Cat Lady" and "I Wonder If He's Gay" will both be off...
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Funny story: Sasha Obama legs it to join Islamic State militants amid Martha's Vineyard vacation no-show

Sasha Obama legs it to join Islamic State militants amid Martha's Vineyard vacation no-show

Massachusetts - Thirteen year-old Sasha Obama remains a stalwart no-show at her family's Martha's Vineyard compound according to tonight's JihadiDaddi TV six o'clock news. The President's younger daughter is believed to have stuffed a few thousan...
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Funny story: St. Clair dog barks up wrong tree

St. Clair dog barks up wrong tree

Toggles, a 4 year old German Shepherd, was found yesterday morning barking up the wrong tree. Mr. James Trifles of St. Clair, PA, expressed surprise and dismay all at the same time. "That damn dog. I don't know what I'm going to do with him. I lov...
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Funny story: Howard Schultz Joins Hamptons' Kings Of Rubbish In Highway Adoption Sign Scheme

Howard Schultz Joins Hamptons' Kings Of Rubbish In Highway Adoption Sign Scheme

Long Island, New York - It's the ultimate Hamptons must-have, your very own personally sponsored highway hoarding giving directions to...the nearest trash dumpster! And it's got Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz chomping at the bit after a Gracie Lane...
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Funny story: Terrorist Tornado Causes Injuries at St. Louis Airport

Terrorist Tornado Causes Injuries at St. Louis Airport

The Terrorist Services Organization (TSA) closed down the St. Louis Lambert Field after a suicide tornado struck the field today. Although no specific terrorist group took immediate responsibility for the attack, managers at the TSA acknowledged t...
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Funny story: Spanish Boats Cleared Out Of Way Of Navy In Gibraltar Libyan Rescue Operations

Spanish Boats Cleared Out Of Way Of Navy In Gibraltar Libyan Rescue Operations

Spanish navy and survey vessels were given an ultimatum by U.S. and British Navy Chiefs this morning. They were told to observe International Maritime Law and allow the vessels to pass unhindered through the Straits of Gibraltar. Chief of Navy S...
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Funny story: Tony Stewart Runs Down Confrontational Great-Grandmother In Piggly Wiggly Parking Lot

Tony Stewart Runs Down Confrontational Great-Grandmother In Piggly Wiggly Parking Lot

(Editor's Note: We apologize for this story in advance. Subscription cancellations should be directed to our circulation department, although they have quit in protest, so be patient until we replace them) BEAUFORT, N.C. -- NASCAR driver Tony Stew...
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Funny story: President Obama "Wouldn't mind getting laid off for a while"

President Obama "Wouldn't mind getting laid off for a while"

President Obama recently said that he wouldn't mind "a few months off" and if the government decided to downsize him he would be open to the possibility. "I think we definitely could have a conversation about it, maybe mull it over and look at...
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Nate John Won
Nate John Won
Joined: 28 September 2009
Stories Written: 10

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