Funny story: Pope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion

Pope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion

The Vatican -- The Roman Catholic Church has given up Lent. In an unprecedented financial maneuver, Pope Francis has turned over the 40 day, 40 night period of atonement to the Church of Scamatology. The sale price was $69 billion. That buys the...
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Obama: "I am a gay Muslim"

In what must have been the gaffe of the century President Barack Obama slipped up at a press conference today and admitted to being a homosexual, foreign born, communist/Marxist, Muslim, socialist agitator who hates America and prays to Allah for the...
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Lawyers sue Brian Williams for 'lying without a license'

New York -- Suspended NBC news anchor Brian Williams is in trouble with the American Bar Association. The lawyers group has filed suit in Federal District Court here, charging that Williams is "cutting into our territory by lying, fibbing, and genera...
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Funny story: Former New York Mayor Rudolph Guiliannedrews: "I'm More Black Than Barack Obama"

Former New York Mayor Rudolph Guiliannedrews: "I'm More Black Than Barack Obama"

Former New York Mayor Rudolph Guiliennefries, admitted today his black Nanny allowed him to wear a pink girls nightgown when he was 7 years old. Since that time he has always understood what it is to be black. The struggles, the difficulties of order...
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Funny story: Florida beach "the best," Beachcombers agree

Florida beach "the best," Beachcombers agree

It's not the location. Or the beautiful white sands. Or the ice-blue water. Or the spectacular, pristine scenery. It's not even the hospitable locals. Siesta Beach near Sarasota, Florida, has been named The Best Beach in America by Beachcombers, a...
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Texas School Officials Sentence Autistic Child with Tourette's Syndrome to Life in Detention After He Mangled the Pledge of Allegiance

Stephenville, TX-Ten year old Ronnie Rae Simmons, who suffers from Asperger's, Tourette's Syndrome, and Dyslexia, may well spend the rest of his life in detention, if school officials at Audie Murphy Elementary have anything to say about it. The elev...
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California weasels outbreak linked to the Philippines

Los Angeles - Thousands of people have been left sickened following an outbreak of weasels at a Disneyland resort. Doctors treating the ugly pandemic say a virus strain from the Philippines is a damn good scapegoat considering the dearth of other...
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Funny story: Two Arrested After Jousting Match with Frozen Cigarette Smoke

Two Arrested After Jousting Match with Frozen Cigarette Smoke

Two people are facing charges following a fight that broke out Thursday evening at a Maryland metro station bus stop. Maryland State Police said the fight started around 5:15 p.m. between the Suitland metro station and the Come & Get It Liquor...
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Breaking News...

Saint Patrick's Day Celebrations may offend

People all over the World who 'just can't wear green' may cause Saint Pat's Day Celebrations to be rethought.

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Funny story: Mystery banker found near university campus baffles cops

Mystery banker found near university campus baffles cops

Toronto, Canada - A mysterious banker has been found by police close to a York University campus underground tunnel. Police say they are baffled. Early reports suggest he was discovered in a secluded wooded area by a conservation officer who sa...
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Funny story: Local Man Dies After Cooking Dinner For Wife

Local Man Dies After Cooking Dinner For Wife

Philadelphia, PA-- A South Philadelphia man is dead tonight after attempting to cook dinner for his wife. Police sources say it was the first time Mr. Spaghetti tried to cook anything. Mrs. Spaghetti had a heart attack after she learned that he...
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Funny story: Press Drops Pretense, Admits Bias

Press Drops Pretense, Admits Bias

At a gathering of major media outlets, representatives of many of the major news sources were asked point blank if media bias was a major issue. Rupert Murdoch, CEO and Chairman of News Corp responded, "I wouldn't call it a "major issue", but it c...
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Funny story: Pornographic Restaurant Apologies For Putting Ketchup in Launch Chambers of Mayonnaise Dispensers

Pornographic Restaurant Apologies For Putting Ketchup in Launch Chambers of Mayonnaise Dispensers

Los Angeles - A trendy restaurant that features "LA's Most Erotic Dining Experience" apologized to customers in a full page Los Angeles Times Ad Wednesday. "We deeply regret," the ad stated "and vow never to allow to happen ever again, the hideou...
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Funny story: Grill Buried Alive! Class Action Suit Puts Homeowners on Ice!

Grill Buried Alive! Class Action Suit Puts Homeowners on Ice!

Snow-covered patio furniture took their complaints to the New Hampshire State Supreme Court after being buried for weeks under excessive snow banks. Patio Furniture Reps report that New England's extreme subarctic temperatures and record-breaking...
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Funny story: Rich Senator Elizabeth Warren Says All Money From Economic Recovery Going To The Rich

Rich Senator Elizabeth Warren Says All Money From Economic Recovery Going To The Rich

Boston - Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren was practically giddy addressing mere upper middle class reporters outside a $2,000 per olive fundraiser in Boston yesterday and for good reason. "As has been the case for decades now, the primary be...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Urges San Quentin Prisoners To "Hold Off 'Til Marriage"

Michelle Obama Urges San Quentin Prisoners To "Hold Off 'Til Marriage"

San Quentin, CA - On a speaking tour to tout her husband's evolution towards support of gay marriage, Michelle Obama had her limousine caravan come to a sudden screeching halt outside of San Quentin prison in California, so she could lecture inmates...
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Funny story: Runaway 'Jihadi' brides switch planes, end up in LA for the Oscars, finger Scamatology website that 'groomed' them

Runaway 'Jihadi' brides switch planes, end up in LA for the Oscars, finger Scamatology website that 'groomed' them

Los Angeles - An LAX press conference heard this evening how three runaway schoolgirls blamed a US-based Scamatology recruitment website for grooming them to run away from home as Jihadi matrimonial bait. Homeland Insecurity officials said Fatima,...
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Michael Balton
Michael Balton
Joined: 03 May 2011
Stories Written: 214

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