Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 20 June 2011

image for Trade Rumors Have Kobe Bryant Heading To The Dallas Mavericks
Kobe Bryant says he has always liked playing in the American Airlines Center, the home of the Dallas Mavericks.

LOS ANGELES - Rumblings in LaLaLand, aka The Land of The Lakers are reverberating that the Lakers super star Kobe Bryant may be on his way out of El Lay and heading to Big D (Dallas).

Bryant reportedly told Tango Brisket of Sports Territory that after having been swept by the Dallas Mavericks in the playoffs 4 games to none he became quite depressed and he started thinking about maybe changing uniforms.

He said that he is good friends with Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and that he would love to play along side of the great 7 foot tall German player Dirk Nowitzki.

Kobe's mouth salivated at the thought of him and Dirk being on the same team. Bryant smiled and said that Vanessa, his wife could teach him how to make Chipotle Enchiladas and Dirk could teach her how to make Sauerbraten.

Kobe, who makes no bones about the fact that he hates to lose (really which player doesn't hate to lose) said that he does not see the Lakers doing much better than they did this past year; and especially with the maharajah Coach Phil Jackson now retired and moving up to Wyoming where he will work on his ranch denutting cattle.

Bryant said that the Lakers imploded this year during the finals with his teammates Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum acting like they were playing on the asphalt courts of some ghetto in Detroit.

He went on to say that Lamar is just too busy trying to be a reality show celebrity and playing house with his big butted wife Khloe Kardashian.

He then turned on Andrew Bynum and said that Andy boy still thinks that he's back in high school and goes around acting like a playground bully.

Kobe, an equal opportunity criticizer, also took a shot at one of the teams white boys Luke "Duhhh" Walton.

Bryant shook his head and said that the cracker just does not have any idea in hell what the hell he is doing.

Kobe rolled his eyes and said that he should at least drive the damn team bus or something because he really and truly does not belong on a team as great as the Lakers are.

When Brisket asked Kobe where he feels Luke Walton should be playing Bryant smiled and said in his patented Bryantesque fashion, "How about in his own friggin backyard."

Sports Territory will definitely stay with the story and bring you any further details on Kobe's desire to head over to The Lone Star State.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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