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Showing stories about: Barack Obama, CIA, Ferguson, GOP, Illegal Immigrants, isis, North Korea, Queen Elizabeth II, Republicans, Sex, torture, Vladimir Putin

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Funny story: Winter Solstice: bookies suspend odds on Queen ejaculating - no, wait...abdicating!

Winter Solstice: bookies suspend odds on Queen ejaculating - no, wait...abdicating!

Cyberspace - A ton of money has been bet on Queen Elizardbirth fabricating from the Throne of Albion on Sunday's upcoming Feast of Yule. Odds setters at global internet spread betting giant Aintgottaprayer.con said today they'd been looking at eme...
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Funny story: Kim Jung Um Shuts Down U.S. News Media

Kim Jung Um Shuts Down U.S. News Media

WASHINGTON - U.S. officials have concluded that the North Korean government, controlled by Kim Jung Um, ordered the hacking attack on Sony Pictures Entertainment - a breach that led to the studio cancelling the planned release of "The Interview". Th...
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Funny story: Republican Party, the GOP, to Sue the Guardians of Peace Terrorist Group, also the GOP, For Trademark Infringement

Republican Party, the GOP, to Sue the Guardians of Peace Terrorist Group, also the GOP, For Trademark Infringement

Washington, DC In a surprising development, the Republican Party, instead of denouncing the terrorist group, the Guardians of Peace, for terrorist threats, the Republicans have instead sued them in the World Court for copyright infringement for using...
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Funny story: McCain Says U.S. Should Invade Cuba

McCain Says U.S. Should Invade Cuba

WASHINGTON -President Obama's policy of normalizing relations with Cuba brought an angry response from Senator John McCain (R-AZ) who said, "This is about the appeasement of autocratic dictators, thugs, and adversaries, diminishing America's influen...
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Funny story: Dennis Rodman Gets Order to Kiss Seth Rogen

Dennis Rodman Gets Order to Kiss Seth Rogen

After another all-nighter on the Las Vegas Strip, former NBA Star Dennis Rodman woke up in a young woman's room to a loud banging on the door. "At first I thought it was her husband or boyfriend," said Rodman. "Can't tell you how many times shit l...
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Funny story: 2015 GOP Platform Has Been Completed

2015 GOP Platform Has Been Completed

The GOP platform that will be ratified by the 2016 Presidential Nominating Convention is now complete. Since the last convention, selected Congressional Republicans and State Party Chairs have been diligently working. According to insider reports, these are its major points: 1. We stand for the principles of torture, particularly rectal hydration. 2. We believe that rich donors should dramat...
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Funny story: Jeb Bush Hopes To Become Second Dumbest President In Nation's History

Jeb Bush Hopes To Become Second Dumbest President In Nation's History

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush on Tuesday took his most definitive step yet toward a bid for the White House, announcing "I hope to become the second dumbest president in the history of our great nation." Bush said he plans t...
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Funny story: Forward from Interrogation Department 6B Lower Regional Hades re torture program

Forward from Interrogation Department 6B Lower Regional Hades re torture program

As part of the congressional investigation on torture released last week, new documents have appeared straight out of Earth's netherworld known as "Hell." Congressional researchers (rumored part of Senator Feinstein's office) have somehow contacte...
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Funny story: Cheney Defends Using Spoof on Prisoners

Cheney Defends Using Spoof on Prisoners

Former vice-president Dick Cheney has drawn fire from human rights activists for defending the US and the CIA using satire as an interrogation technique on Guantanamo prisoners post 9-11. Cheney says that the United States was under a high level thre...
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Funny story: CIA torturers 'mostly Skull & Bonesmen' claims secret Mossad report

CIA torturers 'mostly Skull & Bonesmen' claims secret Mossad report

Washington - A sinister cabal of Skull & Bonesmen masterminded CIA torture according to a leaked Israeli intelligence report. The Mossad Canary Juice division analysed hundreds of hours of harsh CIA irrigations - uh, interrogations. Their f...
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Funny story: Can Jeb Bush, "Romney Lite," Be The GOP Nominee?

Can Jeb Bush, "Romney Lite," Be The GOP Nominee?

Jeb Bush, the former Governor of Florida and George's brother, yesterday visited John McCain. According to an aide, who did not want his name made public, Bush asked McCain how he could run for President without pandering to the party's ultra conser...
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Funny story: Shrink paid $81m to coach CIA torturers says 'Because I'm Worth It'

Shrink paid $81m to coach CIA torturers says 'Because I'm Worth It'

Langley, Virginia - "It was no bum deal," said Professor Einstein Flintstone, a former Pentagon psychiatrist on secondment to train fledgling CIA torturers in the dark arts of rectal feeding plus other recreational crap. "And what's more that much...
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Funny story: CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

LANGLEY, VA --CIA Director, John O. Brennan held a rare press conference today where he attempted to defend CIA torture post 9/11. Brennan, contradicting former CIA Directors, said, "It is unknowable whether useful intelligence was ever obtained...
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Funny story: GOP Defends Torture

GOP Defends Torture

The GOP today released a statement in support of "enhanced interrogation" otherwise know as torture used by the CIA. The first six points the republicans use in their support are the most significant arguments and are presented here: 1) Just a...
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Funny story: CIA Suspected of Selling "Impeach Diane CIAnstein" Bumper Stickers

CIA Suspected of Selling "Impeach Diane CIAnstein" Bumper Stickers

BILLINGSGATE POST: Diane CIAnstein, the titular head of the California Communist Party, has been asked to step down from her post as United States Senator. In an effort suspected to be bankrolled by Orange County conservatives, possibly in conjunct...
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Funny story: Calls for UK judge-led cover-up into British complicity with CIA torture

Calls for UK judge-led cover-up into British complicity with CIA torture

London - A trawl of the great and good in Britain's senior judiciary has narrowed down a list of candidates capable of bullshitting in the international premier league. Top pick for a prolonged and tortuous televised whitewash guaranteed to flush...
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Funny story: US officials will demonstrate advanced interrogation techniques "not all that bad"

US officials will demonstrate advanced interrogation techniques "not all that bad"

Announced today, Mr. Obama and Mr. Brennan (head of the CIA) will participate in experiments to show Senator Diane Feinstein's objections are "over-amped." Spokespersons maintain US advanced interrogation techniques are "not all that bad" and may...
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Funny story: Former CIA Head Defends Torture

Former CIA Head Defends Torture

Today, on the CNN show, "Today's News," the former head of the CIA, General Michael Hayden, and Harvard Professor of Ethics, Greg Stiles, squared off against one another on the issue of torture. The background of the debate centered on The Senat...
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Funny story: A Man Sacrificed his Head to Save his lit Cigarette from Raging Torrent

A Man Sacrificed his Head to Save his lit Cigarette from Raging Torrent

A man on New York streets was spotted using his umbrella to shield his lit cigarette from the pouring heavy rain completely exposing his barely haired head. According to witnesses, the umbrella the man was carrying was too small that they suspect it...
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Funny story: Obama Issues Himself A Presidential Pardon

Obama Issues Himself A Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON -- In the wake of the Senate Select Committee Report on CIA torture showing a grisly, reckless brutality, a violation of the U.S. Constitution and the Geneva Accords, President Obama issued himself a pardon for possible illegal activities...
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Funny story: Blair fingers Bush as CIA torture files published

Blair fingers Bush as CIA torture files published

Washington AC/DC - Ghastly Poodlefaker Tony B Liar has blamed digital manipulation by his brother George Dubya Bush for leaving him up shit creek without the proverbial paddle. The rant comes as a US Senate Committee publishes its long-awaited re...
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Funny story: Obama's Tooth Fairy Screwed Grandmother's False Teeth

Obama's Tooth Fairy Screwed Grandmother's False Teeth

BILLINGSGATE POST: Milada Mae Jefferson, an 83 year-old grandmother living in Philadelphia received her mail-order false teeth from a dental supply company just last week. The poor lady had gone edentulous sometime in her late 50's and had been gum...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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