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Showing stories about: 2016 Presidential Election, Barack Obama, Bernie Sanders, Christmas, Donald Trump, Guns, Hillary Clinton, Politics, Republicans, Star Wars, Ted Cruz, Terrorism

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Funny story: Clinton campaign claims Bernie related to Colonel Sanders

Clinton campaign claims Bernie related to Colonel Sanders

A super PAC associated with the Hillary Clinton campaign is reportedly going to release a television commercial beginning in South Carolina that suggests Bernie Sanders and Colonel Sanders, the semi fictional Kentucky Fried Chicken founder, are relat...
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Funny story: Trump reveals "Affluenza boy" is his love (sperm) child!

Trump reveals "Affluenza boy" is his love (sperm) child!

Donald Trump revealed at his press conference this morning that he is the father of Ethan Couch, the so called Affluenza Boy. "Yes," stated the Donald, "he is my son and in fact, one of hundreds! As you know," he paused, "the apple does not fa...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz And Penelope Cruz Not Eligible To Run For President

Ted Cruz And Penelope Cruz Not Eligible To Run For President

Foreign-born Ted Cruz and foreign-born Penelope Cruz are not eligible to run for President of the United States. He was born in Canada and she was born in Spain. Foreign-born Arnold Schwarzeneggar, though married to a niece of a president, also canno...
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Funny story: Obama Named Native American Man Of The Year By FAUX NEWS

Obama Named Native American Man Of The Year By FAUX NEWS

BILLINGSGATE POST: President Barack Obama, wearing nothing but a loin cloth and a full Cherokee Indian headdress, made from real eagle feathers and leather, was featured on the cover of FAUX NEWS as Native American Man of the Year. In an earlier...
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Funny story: George and Weezy Jefferson Offer Dry Cleaning Services to Dr. Ben Carson

George and Weezy Jefferson Offer Dry Cleaning Services to Dr. Ben Carson

New York - Prominent East Side dry cleaning magnate George Jefferson and his wife Weezy have offered support to Dr. Ben Carson's troubled presidential campaign. Speaking from their Deluxe Apartment In The Sky today, the Jeffersons urged Dr. Carson t...
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Funny story: Recent national study discovers surprising views on Bernie Sanders

Recent national study discovers surprising views on Bernie Sanders

A recent study conducted by PEW Research Center in Washington, D.C was made available to the public this past Monday. The aims of the study were to further understand the common political beliefs among the American public today. The think tank's thre...
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Funny story: Newsflashes from under Jaggedone's grubby raincoat!

Newsflashes from under Jaggedone's grubby raincoat!

Jaggedone's CIA news flashes (from under his raincoat) live and uncensored! Latest news flashing in from UN HQ! "Syrian Peace talks suspended because UN members were seen crawling out of President Assad's rear end and the shock was too much for rebels who declined to lick his butt too!!" Millions of Syrian refugees were not asked their opinion, they were too busy walking barefoot to Germa...
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Funny story: Trump Sprouts New Head

Trump Sprouts New Head

At a New Hampshire press conference on Friday, what initially looked like a large hump under Donald Trumps suit jacket turned out to be much, much, more, even shocking the crowd of hardened campaign reporters into screams of disbelief. After Mr.
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Funny story: Donald J. Trump promises to build a big, friggin' wall around the planet to keep any Martians and other illegal aliens out - and he'll get the Klingons to pay for it

Donald J. Trump promises to build a big, friggin' wall around the planet to keep any Martians and other illegal aliens out - and he'll get the Klingons to pay for it

Big, bad-ass billionaire bozo Donald Trump who wants to be the next President of the United States of America told shrieking supporters that he would kick alien ass and lock them permanently out of planet earth by building a wall around the planet. H...
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Funny story: AK-47 factory to be built in Florida: Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat and let's go to the landfill and shoot some rats!

AK-47 factory to be built in Florida: Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat and let's go to the landfill and shoot some rats!

POMPANO BEACH, Fla - The Sunshine State will soon be the home of Kalashnikov USA. The company has announced plans to manufacture the famous AK-47 assault rifles in Florida sometime soon. According to an article that ran Jan. 28 on WNCN North Carol...
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Funny story: FBI Pissed Off: Hillary Tells Them "Huma Weiner"

FBI Pissed Off: Hillary Tells Them "Huma Weiner"

BILLINGSGATE POST: You can't make this up. Or maybe you can. By now everyone knows that the FBI is investigating Hillary Clinton's use of a personal server to handle her email account while acting as Secretary of State. Although she has consistent...
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Funny story: IMPEACH MEGYN KELLY! Trump Calls Her A Bimbo Alfred E. Neuman

IMPEACH MEGYN KELLY! Trump Calls Her A Bimbo Alfred E. Neuman

BILLINGSGATE POST: Strumpet..Bimbo..Third class journalist. All grounds for impeachment under the laws governing the dissemination of news according to the Trump Institute. But worst of all, she is a "Bimbo Alfred E Neuman," so sez the Trumpster...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton announced she's picking Joe Biden as her Vice President running mate. Naturally, Bernie Sanders is shouting foul, as he defended her on her emails and using the bathroom during the last debate. "Thanks, but you're not getting the...
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Funny story: Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

As Christmas approaches, many will be decorating their homes with more than just trees and lights. For Christians, a common tradition is to put a nativity scene somewhere on display. A nativity scene uses figurines and a stable to depict the story of...
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Funny story: Guantánamo Detainee Refuses Offer of Release After 14 Years in Prison and Tosses Conical Hat in the Ring

Guantánamo Detainee Refuses Offer of Release After 14 Years in Prison and Tosses Conical Hat in the Ring

WASHINGTON - Three Guantánamo detainees were slated to leave the American prison in Cuba this week after 14 years in captivity, but early Wednesday morning, only two were willing to board the plane. The third - Mohammed Ali Abdullah Bwazir of Yemen -...
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Funny story: Presidential candidates to personally test Flint's water

Presidential candidates to personally test Flint's water

Flint, Michigan - Determined to win back the good name of government, all of the remaining contenders for the presidency have agreed to personally test and evaluate the municipal water supply of this beleaguered city. "How bad can it be?" dema...
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Funny story: NYC creating jobs for its carriage-less horses

NYC creating jobs for its carriage-less horses

New York - Animal activists came one step closer to ridding Central Park of the carriage horse trade, proposing a variety of new employment opportunities in other fields for the equines. "It's all about jobs and the dignity of work for these noble...
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Funny story: Trump Plans to Nominate Palin for Supreme Court When Elected

Trump Plans to Nominate Palin for Supreme Court When Elected

NEW YORK- Sources inside the Trump campaign have confirmed that Mr. Trump and former partial-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin have discussed her eventual appointment to the Supreme Court. Mr. Trump has apparently made the deal in exchange for Palin'...
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Funny story: Trump Has One Hair 600 Feet Long: La Toya Jackson Exposes The Donald's Vanity Secret

Trump Has One Hair 600 Feet Long: La Toya Jackson Exposes The Donald's Vanity Secret

BILLINGSGATE POST: La Toya Jackson, still pissed because she was dumped by Trump on All Star Celebrity Apprentice, told Rachel Maddow on MSNBC that Trump's hairdo was actually composed of one hair that is 600 feet long, wound and curled to cover his...
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Funny story: Sanders unveils plan to allow America to be annexed by Russia

Sanders unveils plan to allow America to be annexed by Russia

Burlington, VT - Today, Sen. Bernie Sanders unveiled his plan to allow the United States of America to be annexed by Russia should he become President. "It would not cost us one penny" said Sanders, "and what would we gain? Free healthcare, fre...
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Funny story: Poetic Justice: Supreme Court Rules Ted Cruz A Virtual Non-Entity

Poetic Justice: Supreme Court Rules Ted Cruz A Virtual Non-Entity

BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since April of 2010 has the Supreme Court issued a decision in the form of a limerick. Historically, The High Court of Scotland started this procedure back in the 1262 in order to keep an over-supply of poetic justices occupie...
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Funny story: Trump and Sarah Palin talk cabinet positions in Iowa diner

Trump and Sarah Palin talk cabinet positions in Iowa diner

Last night Mr. Trump and Sarah Palin met at Royal Star Super Burger, an Iowa diner, and the event turned into a campaign rally. Hunkered down with super burgers, macaroni and cheese, plus diet Pepsis all was going quietly until somebody yelled: "P...
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Breaking News...

Trump has no need of prayer . . .

. . . says he can talk to himself anytime he wants to.
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