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Showing stories about: Aliens, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Gay, Global Warming, Hillary Clinton, John Boehner, Penis, Politics, premature ejaculation, Racism, Science

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Funny story: Obama Praises Ted Kennedy

Obama Praises Ted Kennedy

Boston, MA - President Barack Obama spoke at an event honoring the late Massachusetts Senator Edward Kennedy and praised the Senator for "his sexual promiscuity," "drug use," and pioneering use of Viagra. "You're familiar with all the reports of h...
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Funny story: Conservative Bakers Vow To Take Dumps In Gay Wedding Cake Batters

Conservative Bakers Vow To Take Dumps In Gay Wedding Cake Batters

St. Louis, MO - Fearing that it will soon be mandatory to bake and design wedding cakes for gay marriages, religiously conservative bakers are vowing a massive campaign of civil disobedience, warning gay couples to go to liberal bakers for their cake...
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Funny story: Indiana Clarify RFRA: Permit Discrimination of "Death Merchants"

Indiana Clarify RFRA: Permit Discrimination of "Death Merchants"

Governor Pence and Indiana's state legislature clarified today the poorly worded Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) that was signed into law last week. According to their clarification, the intent of the law is to enable business owners to prot...
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Funny story: Psychoanalyst and Ophthalmologist Beat the Hell out of Each Other On Elevator

Psychoanalyst and Ophthalmologist Beat the Hell out of Each Other On Elevator

Los Angeles, CA-So an ophthalmologist and a psychoanalyst get on an elevator... This may sound like the start of a great joke, but in actuality it was the beginning of a terrifying descent into unprofessional chaos. Jorge Valdez, a once highly res...
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Funny story: Michael Sam "Other Gay NFL Players Have Reached Around To Me"

Michael Sam "Other Gay NFL Players Have Reached Around To Me"

Washington DC - He may not actually be with an NFL team right now, but that doesn't stop Michael Sam, the first openly gay player drafted by an NFL team, from suggesting very strongly he is. In a speech at the Holocaust Museum in the nation's capita...
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Funny story: Customers vote with their pocketbooks (and wallets)

Customers vote with their pocketbooks (and wallets)

Consumers, tired of having companies lecture to them about what's hip and cool and, well, morally right, are fighting back. "If Starfuchs want my five buck, none their baristas better be lecturing me bout how to live my life," Black Panther Sam Ho...
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Funny story: Obama buys Jamaican retirement pad

Obama buys Jamaican retirement pad

Washington DC - "Dis am me Audacity of Dope ganja shack,"" Obama tweeted as he posted pics of a stunning Montego Bay beachside villa complete with its very own cannabis plantation. The $1 million oceanfront mansion has five bedrooms, ten bathrooms...
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Funny story: Senator declares "I'm not a scientist" one too many times

Senator declares "I'm not a scientist" one too many times

Senator Marco Rubio, known for his lack of scientific training, was quoted as using the disclaimer for what might end up being one too many times. Rubio has been quoted as using "I am not a scientist" in response to the following questions: "...
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Funny story: California Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights

California Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights

SACRAMENTO, CA - In response to a measure to allow killing of gays in California, Nigel Reynolds, attorney for the California gay rights group, "Gay Advocacy Group" (GAG), has filed a petition with the California Attorney General, Kamala Harris, to a...
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Funny story: Dictators respond to Cheney's "Worst President" Comments

Dictators respond to Cheney's "Worst President" Comments

Dick Cheney has said that Obama is the worst President of his lifetime. Here are a few responses: Pol Pot stated: "I agree, and I often do agree with Cheney anyway. And I feel the same way about Vietnam. Ho Chi Minh was an evil bastard. I mean, look what he did to the boat people. And look at how he humiliated the former landowning class. Anyone who would massacre innocent people on the gro...
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Funny story: Neighborhood Snitches, Nosy Neighbors & Anonymous Tipsters Possess Same Gene As Nazi Collaborators

Neighborhood Snitches, Nosy Neighbors & Anonymous Tipsters Possess Same Gene As Nazi Collaborators

So called 'snoops', who contact city officials regarding code violations, minor infringements against city ordinances, complain about one off parties and call the police at the first sign of an ethnic minority in their vicinity have the same gene, ac...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Hopes Early Campaign Entry Will Divert Voters' Attention from More Important Issues, like Legitimate Candidates and Serious Domestic Problems

Ted Cruz Hopes Early Campaign Entry Will Divert Voters' Attention from More Important Issues, like Legitimate Candidates and Serious Domestic Problems

Rafael Edward Cruz, a first-term Senator from Texas, dispensing with any exploratory phase for his Presidential aspirations, delivered a formal speech during the weekly convocation at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia yesterday. The Bapti...
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Funny story: Angela Jolie Has Husband's Penis Removed To Prevent Cancer

Angela Jolie Has Husband's Penis Removed To Prevent Cancer

Los Angeles - Former sexpot Angela Jolie announced today that she severed her husband's penis in order to prevent it from giving her cancer. "There is some chance that cancer may be contagious, that men may be mere carriers of the disease, and the...
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Funny story: A few rotten apples threaten to spoil the world's food supply

A few rotten apples threaten to spoil the world's food supply

Beaverview, Washington -- Al Qaeda is turning the wholesome apple into a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Using the ice machine from a hijacked Malaysian airliner and a hotwired PlayStation, the terror group has created a generically modified apple th...
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Funny story: This Week's Headline Snidbits

This Week's Headline Snidbits

Taken from the top news headlines this week: • Reports indicate that the Disneyland measles outbreaks were caused by low vaccination rates. See what ObamaCare did this week? It lowered inoculation rates 10 years ago. Thanks, Obama. • President Obama made his NCAA bracket picks. He admitted it was very difficult to take a break from his official duties and just enjoy the fun, frivolous mome...
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Funny story: Scientists Blame Solar Eclipses on Global Climate Change

Scientists Blame Solar Eclipses on Global Climate Change

WASHINGTON, DC - USGS Chief Scientist, Jack MeHoff, released a study today that concludes that the increasing number of solar eclipses is due to Global Climate Change, caused by human activity. The report cites historical records dating back to th...
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Funny story: President Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That All African-Americans Must Vote

President Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That All African-Americans Must Vote

WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday. "We shouldn't be making it harder to vote, we should be makin...
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Funny story: ALPH - Worldwide Group of Humanist/Scientists Appeals for Alien Intervention

ALPH - Worldwide Group of Humanist/Scientists Appeals for Alien Intervention

Aliens Please Help (Alph) is a group of humanists and scientists who are appealing to "Aliens" to intervene and end the dominance of human beings on Planet Earth! Dr. Moishe Pipick -Astrophysicist and Buddhist Scholar said today at the Alph World...
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Funny story: GOP Criticizing Obama for Picking Kentucky Instead of Israel

GOP Criticizing Obama for Picking Kentucky Instead of Israel

WASHINGTON -- Republican leaders are engaging in a bit of their own "March Madness" in criticizing President Obama for picking the number one ranked and undefeated Kentucky Wildcats to win the NCAA men's basketball championship instead of GOP favorit...
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Funny story: Obama - "I Don't Know Jack Shit"

Obama - "I Don't Know Jack Shit"

Boston, Massachusetts - In a visit to a Boston Area middle school social studies class yesterday, President Obama found himself unable to answer follow up questions from a persistent student in the class. Obama was visting the city to raise funds...
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Funny story: Building on Starbucks' Race Together Initiative New "Defend Your Position" Campaign Earning Stellar Reviews

Building on Starbucks' Race Together Initiative New "Defend Your Position" Campaign Earning Stellar Reviews

Building upon the great success of Starbucks' Race Together campaign, a rival coffee house has unveiled their new concept of "Defend Your Position". "What we found out very quickly is that people already have very set opinions on a great many sub...
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Funny story: Al Gore Penthouse Interview - Dick Cheney Worst Vice President Ever

Al Gore Penthouse Interview - Dick Cheney Worst Vice President Ever

Santa Barbara - Dick Cheney told Playboy Magazine that Barack Obama was the worst President ever, so Al Gore phoned up Penthouse Magazine and demanded they interview him, so he could return the favor. "Dick Cheney is the worst Vice-President ever,...
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Breaking News...

Bush Copyright

George Bush Senior has taken out copyright on the phrase "New World Order" that he made popular. Anybody using the phrase without his permission will be sued.
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