Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 13 June 2011

image for Taylor Swift Writes A Song That Amazingly Is Not About A Boyfriend That She Has Broken Up With
An extreme closeup of Taylor Swift that was taken at a concert in Barcelona, Spain. (Photo courtesy of Enrique Iglesias).

NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift recently sat down at a Pizza Gal Restaurant in Nashville and spoke with Grilletta Brewburger of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine.

Miss Brewburger asked Taylor how her recent concert at The Running of The Bulls Convention Center in Barcelona, Spain had gone.

Taylor replied that the 17,802 seat center had completely sold out. She said that she was amazed at how many Spanish people can speak English and speak it just about as good as anyone living in London, New York, Nashville, or even Wasilla, Alaska.

She said that she sang three of her hit songs in Spanish "Mean" which she translated into "Malo," "Mine," which she translated into "Mio," and "Tim McGraw" which she translated into "Teem McGraw."

Taylor was was asked if she ever hears from Kanye West. She smiled and replied that she has everything blocked so that the jive-ass punk cannot contact her.

Swift did inform Brewburger that she has just written a song that amazingly is not about a boyfriend that she has just broken up with. She giggled and said that the name of the song is called "Cuddles" and it is about a teddy bear that was actually made for her by a 104-year-old retired seamstress who lives in Lexington, Kentucky.

The woman's name is Nanette "Sewy" Pilladex and she has sewed teddy bears for Michelle Obama's daughters Malia and Sasha, for Nancy Pelosi's granddaughters, for Chelsea Clinton, but not for Sarah Palin's daughters.

When asked why not for Palin's daughters "Sewy" said because all three girls, Bristol, Willow, and Piper are undisciplined heathen brats who have all got mouths on them that constantly spew forth those dreaded "F" words, freakin, friggin, frackin, and fruckin.

Taylor recently traveled to Lexington and met with "Sewy" Pilladex. "Sewy" prepared a nice Southern style dinner of Chicken Fried Squirrel Innards, Fried Okra, Fried Chitlins, and a big helpin' of cornbread. Afterwards Taylor serenaded her with a five song set.

Before she left, Taylor autographed "Sewy's" walker. And the 104-year-old was so thrilled she said that she would put it away and never use it. She then remembered that it was the only one she had.

Swift immediately had one of her assistants go out to a local pharmacy and buy her another one.

June 15 is National Go Fly A Kite Day, except in New Hampshire, where there is no wind.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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