Kate Middleton had to perform one of her first difficult royal duties today, when she was forced to sit through the "Trooping of the Colour" for three solid hours!
A friend of the Princess said, "She was so bored, she had to drink a can of Red Bull just to stay awake. And her left buttock went to sleep." I'm sure we all felt like Kate Middleton's left buttock during the Trooping of the Colour.
It is one of the hardest jobs that the Royal Family has - managing to stay awake through interminable ceremonies involving endless lines of soldiers or dull members of the public, when they would much rather be off swan-baiting or being fisted by the butler.
The Queen's footman is said to always carry a box of "special snuff" in case Her Majesty needs perking up during a long day, but she hasn't needed it since she began eating Winalot for breakfast.