BEVERLY HILLS - Selena Gomez recently had her hair styled at FuFi Fondue's Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.
While she was there she was asked by Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine about the rumor that was circulating in regards to the sound of little pitter patter feet.
Selena smiled and said she had no idea what Danny Devito was up to.
She giggled and told Tequila that she was just pulling her leg, but not in a lesbianite way, since she is 100 percent straight.
Tequila told her that she understood and that the only lesbianite that she knows is fellow reporter Coquette Eucalyptus with The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette.
Gomez was surprised and said that she had no idea that Coquette was a biscuit bumper. Tequila started laughing and said that it is pretty much a secret and that only about three or four people really know about it.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Well so much for that little secret huh readers?]
Tequila asked Selena why it was that she had been rushed from The Tonight Show dressing room to Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital and if it was indeed due to her being pregnant like the rumor mills are grinding out that it was.
Selena shook her head and rolled her beautiful brown eyes and flat out denied the rumor that she is pregnant.
She said that whenever a girl feels dizzy, complains of a headache, a stomach ache, and says that her tonsils are hurting right away everyone puts 1 and 1 together and comes up with 3.
Gomez said that ever since her and her boyfriend, Justin Bieber have become boyfriend and girlfriend there have been a lot of jealous girls who cannot stand the fact that she is the object of his affections, his romantic glances, his loving stares, and his astounding French kisses.
She said that due to their vacationing in Hawaii and traveling all over the country visiting different sites such as Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, the Alamo, and the Swanee River she has become utterly exhausted.
Tequila asked if she has fainted. Gomez said that she did when they were standing next to the Swanee River and she almost fell in, but luckily Justy grabbed her by her right patella and prevented her from falling into the swirling waters.
She said that the doctors at Our Lady of The Silver Screen told her that she is malnourished, undernourished, and suffers from a lack of nourishment.
She was given some vitamin supplements, a case of Kit Kats, and a case of Gummy Bears and told to try and stay away from direct sunlight, smog, and adult porcupines.
When she asked the doctor if it would be alright for her to make out with her boyfriend, he told her yes, but just as long as he doesn't have a toothpick in his mouth.
In other news. Nancy Pelosi is denying the rumor that she sent an Internet photo of her uvula to Vice-President Joe Biden.