Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 12 June 2011

image for Will Manchester City Cough Up £500 Million For Cristiano Ronaldo?
Manchester Eagerly Awaits The New Messiah

There is no doubting the limitless ambition of a rejuvenated Manchester City, nor that of club owner Sheikh Mansour - but are City prepared to gamble £500 million in order to acquire Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid?

And would he want to return to Manchester in direct opposition to his old mentor, Sir Alex Ferguson?

Unofficially, City are extremely keen on landing Ronaldo, to prove that as a club, they can attract the best, and as evidence of their determination to become a world force within the game.

Estimates put the cost of the exercise as something in the region of £500 million, which would include the transfer fee to Real Madrid, the player's wages, bonuses, relocation expenses, tie-ins, add-ons, future surrogate mother fees, hairdressers and tanning salon bills, legal expenses, insurance, and motoring fines.

£500 million is a sum certainly not beyond the means of Sheikh Mansour, but with Ronaldo apparently insisting on being the club captain, the highest paid player, and the sole proprietor of the number seven shirt, it has to be considered whether or not his arrival at the club will have a disruptive effect on the dressing room.

It's difficult to gauge exactly how seriously the player is taking the speculation, with some observers claiming that he is merely 'taking the piss' and that he has no intentions of ever going to Eastlands, unless he happens to be playing for the opposition.

But what is certain is that Ronaldo has expressed privately that he does not enjoy playing for Jose Mourinho, and that he doesn't like Real Madrid's negative approach to the game - despite the fact that he scored 52 goals last season, including the winner in the final of the Copa Del Ray, against Barcelona.

Also, those closest to Ronaldo say that he has recently become fascinated by the scandal and the vice which has permeated the English game of late, most notably in Manchester itself. He is reported to have said to a friend:

"All of the players in Manchester are having fun right now. Here in Madrid we have Jose Mourinho. It's a no brainer. Maybe I will return to Manchester, like Jesus returned to Jerusalem on Palm Sunday - the all conquering Godhead. That would be very nice. Hasta la bed-hopping! I can't wait!"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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