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Spoof news events on this day in history


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Funny story: (2008) Zoo Animals Rape & Eat Austrian Sex Freak

(2008) Zoo Animals Rape & Eat Austrian Sex Freak

Vienna AUSTRIA, (TS) Josef Pretzl, the Austrian man who fathered seven children with his daughter while keeping her locked up in a subterranean dungeon as a sex slave for 24 years, will plead insanity to avoid a prison sentence.
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Funny story: (2009) Kristen Stewart and Michael Arangano Call It A Day

(2009) Kristen Stewart and Michael Arangano Call It A Day

Yes, you heard it here first (not that it's true), Kristen Stewart and long time boyfriend Michael Arangano have broken up. Michael was caught at a party with a mystery girl and looked as though he was having too much of a good time! Micheal's friend...
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Funny story: (2007) Kentucky Derby Results Announced

(2007) Kentucky Derby Results Announced

Results of this year's Kentucky Derby have been announced and bettors are upset with the finish. Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain, who went off at 263 to 1 odds, won the race by the length of a hatpin.
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Funny story: (2007) Judge orders Paris Hilton to wear panties for 45 days

(2007) Judge orders Paris Hilton to wear panties for 45 days

Los Angeles, California - (Ass Mess): Lawyers acting for peroxide socialite Paris Hilton have slammed LA Judge Michael T Sauer's insistence that Paris Hilton wears panties for the 45 days' duration of her prison sentence as 'cruel and un...
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Funny story: (2004) Susan Sarandon's Breasts, JeLo's Butt Protest Disease, Famine, "Bad Stuff"

(2004) Susan Sarandon's Breasts, JeLo's Butt Protest Disease, Famine, "Bad Stuff"

(New York, New York) The breasts of actress Susan Sarandon and the buttocks of singer-actress Jennifer Lopez today took out a joint advertisement in the New York Times protesting "Disease, Famine, War, Hate and Other Bad Stuff."...
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Funny story: (2004) Michael Jackson's Penis to Testify

(2004) Michael Jackson's Penis to Testify

A source close to the Neverland Ranch stated today that Michael Jackson's penis, Winkie Jackson, has agreed to testify at Jackson's upcoming child molestation trial.
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Funny story: (2007) Paris Hilton to be laminated nude prior to prison.

(2007) Paris Hilton to be laminated nude prior to prison.

Pseudo celebrity stick insect, money shot purveyor and role model, Paris Hilton has been jailed for 45 days after being found guilty of violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction.
View '(2007) Paris Hilton to be laminated nude prior to prison.'
Funny story: (2009) Iggle Piggle, Upsy Daisy and Makka Pakka held on drugs charge

(2009) Iggle Piggle, Upsy Daisy and Makka Pakka held on drugs charge

Three children's TV characters are being held today after a drugs raid uncovered £1000's of heroin and cocaine. Officers from the In The Night Garden drugs squad recovered the drugs after a series of early morning raids carried out on the Pinky Po...
View '(2009) Iggle Piggle, Upsy Daisy and Makka Pakka held on drugs charge'
Funny story: (2007) Lesbian Jail Inmates Prepare for Arrival of Paris Hilton

(2007) Lesbian Jail Inmates Prepare for Arrival of Paris Hilton

Los Angeles, CA - Paris Hilton better like girls. The hotel heiress was sentenced Friday to 45 days at the Century Regional Detention Center, Los Angeles County's jailhouse for women just south of downtown in Lynwood and will be sharing a cell w...
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Funny story: (2004) George Huff creeps enough people out - voted off American Idol

(2004) George Huff creeps enough people out - voted off American Idol

Los Angeles - George Huff's run as American Idol finalist appears to be at an end. Best know for his deep baritone vocals and the ever-present "what's that up my butt" reaction to judges' critiques, Huff will be missed much less than former co...
View '(2004) George Huff creeps enough people out - voted off American Idol'
Funny story: (2008) Jennifer Aniston to be Angelina's Maid of Honour

(2008) Jennifer Aniston to be Angelina's Maid of Honour

The rumours surrounding the pending nuptials of the famous "cheaters" Angelina & Brad, have now become a reality.
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Funny story: (2009) Penelope Cruz spills the beans on Tom's break-up with Nicole

(2009) Penelope Cruz spills the beans on Tom's break-up with Nicole

Malaga, Spain - Penelope Cruz has confessed in a candid interview why Tom Cruise broke up with Nicole Kidman (yes, the cheque has cleared). "As you know" said Cruz "Tom is the world's leading scientist. Nicole wasn't very scientific at all. She...
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Funny story: (2008) Paul and Ringo Announce Who will be the New Beatles

(2008) Paul and Ringo Announce Who will be the New Beatles

Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr have decided that they want to revive the Beatles, finding replacements for the late John Lennon and George Harrison.
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Funny story: (2010) Dead Player Signed By Liverpool

(2010) Dead Player Signed By Liverpool

A dead footballer has been signed by Liverpool FC. Croatian soccer star Goran Tunjic has been signed to replace Jose Torres, who is on his way to Chelsea. Tunjic was recently booked for dying on the pitch. This follows a new FIFA ruling regarding...
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Funny story: (2007) VECO CEO told Corrupt Bastard Pete Kott: "I own your ass!"

(2007) VECO CEO told Corrupt Bastard Pete Kott: "I own your ass!"

Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Juneau is ablaze today with the news that three Alaskan politicians and members of the Corrupt Bastards Club have been indicted in a machiavellian corruption scam that has redefined big oil sleaze in a votes for cash and...
View '(2007) VECO CEO told Corrupt Bastard Pete Kott: "I own your ass!"'
Funny story: (2007) Paris Hilton sentenced to death

(2007) Paris Hilton sentenced to death

Shamed star Paris Hilton will be executed by lethal injection, a court has ruled. The heiress to the Hilton hotel chain was convicted of drink-driving by an LA court last September after a blood test showed her to be over the legal limit.
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Funny story: (2008) Ebay to Open Fast Food Franchise

(2008) Ebay to Open Fast Food Franchise

Online auction giant eBay announced today that it is going to try it's hand at the fast food restaurant business. The appropriately named "e-Burger" franchise, is scheduled for it's grand opening later this month.
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Funny story: (2007) Paris Hilton: my hair extension jail fears

(2007) Paris Hilton: my hair extension jail fears

California - (Ass Mess): Peroxide bimbette Paris Hilton has spoken for the first time about her fears regarding the fate of her unique $25,000 hair extensions "which will surely perish" among the nit-infested and cockroach-sprawling confine...
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Funny story: (2009) Susan Boyle (Britain's Got Talent) career looks over before it starts

(2009) Susan Boyle (Britain's Got Talent) career looks over before it starts

For Susan Boyle, the storming Britain's Got Talent contender, it looks like her career is over before she even gets to the finals. In a frank interview - it was with a chap called Frank from the BBC Manchester - she admitted that she can only sing...
View '(2009) Susan Boyle (Britain's Got Talent) career looks over before it starts'
Funny story: (2011) Al Quaeda Submarine Built to Look For Osama Bin Laden

(2011) Al Quaeda Submarine Built to Look For Osama Bin Laden

Arabian Sea - Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the news another story about Osama is breaking across the wires. Al Quaeda has launched its first submarine and is claiming it can reach Osama Bin Laden's body within days. "We have spared...
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Funny story: (2008) Ginger Twat Gets Medal

(2008) Ginger Twat Gets Medal

Prince Harry is to get a medal for his secret tour of duty in Afghanistan as a Forward Hair Controller. The Prince was secretly flown in despite his red barnett being a draw to Afghan soldiers everywhere.
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Breaking News...

New Jersey Gov Has New Promotion Gig

Chris Christie was named by the American Lard Assn as their new spokesperson. Lard Ass President Bud Gristel named the Gov after learning that Christie's favorite book is The Count of Mounds of Crisco
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