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My Photograph Memory

For some reason people always seem to be amazed when I tell them that I have a photographic memory. Theres one over there on the desk. Its of me and Mom when we went to the race track together back...

submitted by Bureau, 19 April 2014

The Really Bad Day!

A Really Bad Day There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the...

submitted by Bureau, 18 April 2014

Chelsea Clinton

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton. Whats the difference between Hillary Clinton and a seal? One smells of fish and has whiskers, the other one...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 18 April 2014

Man Killed By Wife

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, Youre beautiful! and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 18 April 2014

Those Your Cattle in Texas

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, Where is everybody? The bartender replied, Theyve gone to the hanging. Hanging? Who are they hanging?...

submitted by Bureau, 17 April 2014

Bartender & Pig

A woman and a duck walk into a bar. They get over to the stools and each have a seat. Lets have some service. The bartender says, Whered you get the pig. The woman says, Thats not a pig, thats a duck. He says,...

submitted by Bureau, 17 April 2014

One Mean Bartender

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill. So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The...

submitted by Bureau, 17 April 2014

Seasick Joke

Mr. Johnsons wife of 50 years suggested they take a cruise: We could go somewhere for a week, and make wild love like we did when we were young. He thought it over and agreed. He went to the pharmacy and bought a bottle...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 17 April 2014

The Woodpecker Does It!

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch? The birch says he...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Leave This Old Gal Alone!

One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, Acts 2:38: Repent be baptized your sins will be forgiven. The robber quickly gave up the lady...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Can't Believe It

I swear, the other day I bought a big packet of peanuts, and on the outside of the packet it said may contain nuts. Well, YES! Thats what I bought the buggers for! Youd be annoyed if you opened it and...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

He Better NOT Be Crazy

I have to admit that I may have outsmarted both Ted Williams and Walt Disney. They may have made millions here, but Ill be the pretty one once all this is over. I saved close to $50,000 on my cryonics...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

A Bad Sign. I Knew It!

I hate it but my steady boyfriend was fired from his job once again. This time it was just being a flag man at the state road department for stealing. We may have to split up. I have to say I saw it coming....

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

WalMart Parking Nightmare

An irate person that was shopping at WalMart says that she gets tired of coming there and not finding a parking place but now she thinks she has it solved. Now if I can not pull out of my parking space over...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Justin Bieber Hit Again!

Just like in Brazil late last year, Justin Bieber was performing on stage and somebody hit him in the head with a bottle full of cola. Once again, he walked off the stage to the boos of his fans. A friend says...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Michele Misses War Vets Breakfast Again

Asked why she didnt come to the breakfast that was to honor our fallen soldiers in Vietnam in any of the five years that she and her husband have been in the White House, Michelle Obama stated that they...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Handy, Horny Wife!

A newly married couple go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, Honey, my hands are freezing! She says,...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Obamas On An Airplane

Once Michelle Obama visited an elementary school to talk to a group of 3rd graders. She said to them, Today we are going to discuss the difference between a tragedy, a great loss and an accident. Then she...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Al Gore Backing Up Traffic

The traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going from car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said Its Al Gore. Hes up there threatening to set himself on fire!...

submitted by Bureau, 16 April 2014

Bull joke

A cow farmer is herding his flock when a ghost appears and duly tells the farmer that he should stay away from bulls. The farmer, shaking in his boots, asks why. Because theyre fast and they... Right...

submitted by whatinthe world, 16 April 2014

The Two-Legged Dog and The Psychiatrist

A man could not stop acting like a dog so he decided to go and see a psychiatrist. Doctor he said, Its bad, I walk around on all fours, I chase cats, I bark at the mailman, and I pee on fire hydrants....

submitted by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2014

Old Woman Sucks A Lollipop And Is Accused of Being A Whore! Disgusting.

An old lady approaches a police station and observes three women in handcuffs waiting to go in. The old lady asks one of the women, Why are you in line? The woman looks at the other prostitutes, winks...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 16 April 2014

Old Man Driving

A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone. Harold, I just heard on the news that theres a car going the wrong way on Route 285. Please be careful! Its not just one...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 15 April 2014

The Worse Joke Ever

A man sits next to a very attractive woman on an airplane. He asks her what kind of men she is interested in. Her top three choices are American Indian men, Jewish men and Southern men. The woman asks...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 15 April 2014
Showing page 1 (of 576 pages)


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