Showing page 1 (of 580 pages)

Donald Trump Jokes

Donald Trump is already helping unemployment-by hiring people to cheer for him at rallies!...

submitted by Al N., 28 September 2016

Trump Jockey

Donald Trump, for his highly scripted interview with Bishop Wayne T. Jackson at Great Faith Ministries International, will appear attired in a traditional jockey outfit sporting a red vest and a red ball...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 02 September 2016

FOX News, Fairly Unbalanced

At the gym I work out at, where the clientele (like me) are mostly middle-aged or older, FOX News is inevitably on in the changing room. If I were a Martian working out at this gym and only seeing the...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 28 August 2016

How many Trumpites does it take to change a light bulb

Thousands. 100s to spearhead the spin campaign that the light bulb doesnt exist; Then 100s of Trumpites to begin the wedging marginalization campaign to point out that some light bulbs are owned by...

submitted by Jung in the Jungle, 06 August 2016

"Make America Great Again"

From the conservative dark / Into the ethical life / The dense commuters come. September 1, 1939, W. H. Auden Lets Make America Great Again The orange-haired demagogue proclaims. But Make America Hate...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 18 July 2016

Thoughts on growing old.

I am eighty-five years old. That is REALLY old! I am SO old that when I fart, it comes out as dust! OK. Ok. I stole this from a Tyler Perry movie. What? Who the hell are you to judge? I am a very...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 16 July 2016

Thoughts on growing old.

I am 85 years old. That is REALLY old. I was thinking the other day. I guess you might call it pondering or reflecting. I was wondering; At what time in my transition from old to VERY old did I go from...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 10 July 2016

Grass Houses

Grass Houses King Toobo lived deep in the jungle in a sprawling grass house. He was loved by his people. On his fiftieth birthday, his loyal tribe wanted to present him with a fabulous throne from which...

submitted by Chris Dahl, 06 July 2016

Elephant's Memory

A man saw a baby elephant in the woods limping. Getting him to raise his leg, the man pulled a large thorn out of the babys foot. Years later, the man was at a circus and one of the elephants kept looking...

submitted by Al N., 30 June 2016

Trump: "I love the Blacks"

I love the vets. I love the Blacks. I love the women. I love the Second Amendment. I love the Hispanics. I love the guns. I love the USA. With the way Donald Trump throws around the word love, do you...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 31 May 2016

On the Roof

A guy went on vacation and left his dog Oscar with his brother Ralph. He called up Ralph after the first night as said, Hows Oscar? Ralph replied, Im sorry, but Oscar escaped from the house and ran in the road...

submitted by Al N., 30 May 2016

Dick Cheney and the Bushes

Back in the days when George W. Bush was still President, Bush woke up in the White House after a monstrous snow storm with snow drifted up to all the windows. Bush was startled to see, written in the snow, Fuck...

submitted by Al N., 26 May 2016

So you compute you can dance...

Bot 1; Why do robots tend to be good dancers? Bot 2: Theyve got algorithm. Bot 1: Who could ask for anything more? --- Bot 1; Todays word is Artimation. Bot 2: Whats that mean, Mt Robot 1? Bot 1: Its what you get...

submitted by Michael Balton, 19 May 2016

Nicholas Cage Jokes For the Visually Impaired

Q: Whats the difference between Free Willy and Nicolas Cage? A: Free Willy is more attractive than Nicolas Cage. Q: Why was Nicolas Cage cast to be the Wicker Man? A: Because he used to sell candle wicks. Nicholas...

submitted by Tom Sivvy, 18 May 2016


I was going past a local shop that deals with everything concerning fishing when I saw this large notice in the window: CRAP KIT. I went in to tell the proprietor that he had unfortunately spelt Carp wrong. Youve got...

submitted by j.w., 16 May 2016

Lawyers are Assholes

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks, stands up on the bar and then yells out, All Lawyers are Assholes! and then sits back down again and continues drinking. A guy from the back of the bar yells out, I object to that...

submitted by Al N., 11 May 2016

"Jesus Wants Us to Be Responsible"

Jesus Wants Us to Be Responsible I read on a marquee in front of a local church, and was, as usual, perplexed. Isnt being an adult characterized, in part, by our wanting OURSLEVES to be responsible for...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 11 May 2016

"Oh, I Can't Complain"

Oh, I cant complain. As a stock response (what linguists sometimes call an example of phatic communication), I find this phrase really annoying for two reasons 1) Its not true because you CAN complain,...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 11 May 2016

Pity the Poor Pundit

It must be hard, these days, to be a political pundit. After all, how many different ways can pundits find of calling (without actually using the word), the base of the Republican Party stupid because...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 03 May 2016

Yugo Jokes

The Yugo is considered one of the worst cars ever made, if not THE worst. Perhaps the only good thing about the Yugo was the number of jokes it inspired. Id like a gas cap for my Yugo. Sounds like a fair...

submitted by Al N., 27 April 2016

The 5 Steps: Germaphobe In Public Restroom

1. Endure a great deal of discomfort in a public setting due to an intense urge to release solid waste but refuse to do so despite there being unoccupied restrooms within close proximity. 2. Succumb to the...

submitted by Jose Munoz, 22 April 2016

Forrest Gump In Heaven

Forrest Gump died and went to heavens gates where he met St. Peter. We have a new system here Forrest, said St. Peter. A person needs to answer three questions right before getting into heaven. We like you Forrest...

submitted by Al N., 17 April 2016

Amercain Political Dictionary

misspeak v. The act of commenting on an issue by a politician who is making shit up as he or she is being interviewed by a news anchor and, after...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 01 April 2016

Republican Diversity Efforts

OK. So Ive been pretty hard recently on the Republican Party with family, friends, and acquaintances. Lets give them credit, after all, for their attempts to increase their base through their diversity...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 23 March 2016
Showing page 1 (of 580 pages)

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