Jokes
On the Boat
Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers. Out on the lake while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente, France, last year, slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur....
The Reason for the Accident
I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up. He said, Youve been promoted....
Toilet Humour - Men's problems revealed in letter
This was copied from a newsgroup posting. The author is responding to a woman who accidentally walked into the mens restroom:...
30 Things You Don't Want to Hear During Your Surgery!
1: Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness...
Keeping Your Motor Running
The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child....
Corny joke 1: A career drive
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me Id been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car....
Carry in for Cleo
You slave, come here quick, said Queen Cleopatra,...
The Sugar Daddy?
While I was visiting my sister one evening, I took out a candy dispenser that was shaped like a miniature person. How does that thing work? she asked....
The Farmer's Son's Chores
A little boy comes down to breakfast....
Women Should Not Have Children After 35!
This is one of those controversial statements but I fully stand behind it....
Scientists at Roll Royce built a gun...
Scientists at Roll Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, and military jets, all travelling at maximum velocity....
The Car Keys
Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets or purse. A quick search in the meeting room...
And the Champagne Flowed…
When we moved into our new home, the first one we owned rather than rented, two of my husbands friends gave him a bottle of champagne. Tn the hustle and bustle of getting settled, the gift was tucked...
Eve's revealing talk with the Lord
Lord, I have a problem. Whats the problem, Eve? I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but Im just...
Porch
Unemployed man is canvassing his local area looking for odd jobs to do. He asks a local resident if they have any work they want done around the home. Dont know replies the resident though you might want to paint my porch. Youll find...
Huh! The Cheek of Them!
While watching a movie recently, I couldnt hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women sitting in front of me. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder. Excuse me, I said, I cant hear. I should hope...
The Annual Stella (Liebeck) Award Nominations
Its time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stellas Awards are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and amazingly she successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired...
The Sins of Omission
On a particular day, a Sunday School teacher was lecturing about sin and the consequences that we have to endure because of it. So she asked her class, Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?...
Two wives stop for a wee.... (slightly crude, be warned)
Two women friends, incredibly drunk and walking home got caught short. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something. One of them had nothing...
The Australian
An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Jill, the Australian barmaid takes his order and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit. At the end of the night...
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