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One for Pun Lovers and the Medical Community

QUESTION: When is an O a Q?...

submitted by D. L. Hawkinson, 15 September 2017

Rock-a-bye Birdie

The indigenous inhabitants of an as yet uncharted island were plagued by an inexplicable increase in the size of the tern population. A few of the noisy birds had been bad enough, but these terns were...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 14 September 2017

The Final Political Cliche

Sen. Joe Smith had served in congress longer than anyone in the nations history - nearly 70 years. At his memorial service the eulogy was delivered by a long-time colleague who had retired from politics...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 06 September 2017

The Everlasting Chess Game

Two elderly chess aficionados were locked in a never ending game, at the master level. It continued right through the Christmas season, unending, day and night. At one point the wife of one came into...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 01 September 2017

Where Should the Professor put His Whores?

The young, first-year philosophy professor faced a common end-of-the-term dilemma in an introductory course: one two-hour session left but four hours of ideas that had not been presented yet. Moreover,...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 30 August 2017

The Bride's Lament

The recently married young couple had shelled out more than they could afford in order to hire a well-known professional wedding photographer. After waiting weeks for the photos to come, the bride discovered...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 28 August 2017

Port O' Call

The two wine connoisseurs, husband and wife, were nearing the end of an unforgettable cruise, memorable because of the unending storm which had dangerously rocked the ship for days. Severe winds and monstrous...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 28 August 2017

New look at second amendment

A national, far right cable news channel had a change of management, placing the most prudish social conservatives in charge. This was in response to much criticism of the racy attire worn by the attractive female newscasters. When station managers issued an edict that all on-camera personnel must wear full length sleeves, the women newscasters rebelled. They not only charged...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 26 August 2017

Forever Ember

Travis and his wife enjoyed sitting by the hearth on cold winter evenings, warmed by the burning logs. They especially liked the heat from the embers after the flames had disappeared and the hot coals...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 24 August 2017

HAHA - Jokes

Missed perspectives Have you ever had a phone conversation with a family member that you said to yourself, If anyone was listening I bet theyd shoot themselves right in the face.? I had a phone conversation...

submitted by Butch, 21 August 2017

Schizophrenia: The good, the bad and the ugly!

Schizophrenia: A new drug has just been introduced for treatment of the malady...The good, the bad and...the ugly. One of the truly bad manifestations of having schizophrenia is...you can never play solitaire!...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 03 August 2017

Spoof writer ponders use of word...oxymoron.

In my 24/7 watching of the news from our nations capitol I pondered the use of the word...oxymoron. Multi-millionaire trailer trash...is this an oxymoron? OR is this a bunch of foul...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 30 July 2017

Jokes with Brion

How did the hipster burn his lips? He drank it before it was cool. If Santa Claus was a pimp hes have a ho ho hoe train. When a Roman emperor gazes upon a beautiful woman what does he see? Julius Caesar (sees her)....

submitted by Butch, 28 July 2017

Zombie/Computer Jokes with Jon

The American zombie prefers flesh but the Chinese zombie eats fresh. The zombie comedian killed his audience with gutsy dead pan humor. He was courageous but lacked the guts. He could mutter brain in 12 different languages,...

submitted by Butch, 28 July 2017

Trump and the Church Bell

Donald Trump bought a church and discovered that no one could get the bell to ring. So Trump asked the congregation for a solution. I can make the bell ring! said a young boy. He jumped up and ran to the bell and ran into it with...

submitted by Al N., 28 July 2017

Don't Know Much About History

Dont know much about history Dont know much biology Dont know much about climate change Have never read the Constitution. But I do know that I love me And I know that if you love me too That I, Donald J. Trump, can be More...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 28 July 2017

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse!

Just when you thought it couldnt get worse! I cant believe it! Last night on a major networ...in prime time...there was a commercial for a drug for Schizophrenia! In asked both the good Kenny and the bad Kenny what they thought? The...

submitted by b kenneth mcgee, 19 July 2017

Not Many People Know This . . . .

How fucking stupid is our president? Did you ever notice how often he appends, to many well-known facts, A lot of people dont know that . . . , or some such qualifier? France is Americas first and oldest ally. A lot of people dont know...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 14 July 2017

Gay Jokes and Riddles

Q: Why do gay guys have such good fashion sense? A: Its because theyve spent so much time in the closet. Q: Why do homeless gays have such a hard time? A: They have no closet to come out of. Q: Why did a man call a dollar changer a homophobe?...

submitted by Purple Girl, 13 July 2017

Color Riddles

Q: Whats the difference between a black joke and a green joke? A: Nobody has been arrested, fired or sued over a green joke yet. Q: How do you discipline misbehaving green kids? A: You make them do lime out. Q: Did you hear about the Martian who...

submitted by Purple Girl, 28 June 2017

Engineer in Hell

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, Ah, youre an engineer -- youre in the wrong place. So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with...

submitted by Al N., 25 June 2017

Glass Fullness

Is the glass half empty or half full? 1. Metaphysicist: There is no glass. Its just an illusion, so the glass can be as full as you will it to be. 2. Therapist: If you work hard enough, the water level can be whatever you need it to be. Besides, you...

submitted by Purple Girl, 19 June 2017

Racists on other planets

Things overheard on other planets that were said by racists: I cant be racist. I mean, some of my best friends are Green. Youre quite pretty, at least for a Blue girl. You all know that orange guy stole my spaceship. Why are the two-headed people so...

submitted by Purple Girl, 14 June 2017

Terrorism

I dont see what everyone has against terrorism. It sure looks like a blast to me. A little girl asks, Mama, can I have Abduls room when he blows up? One of the things I hate about the terror scare is that I cannot greet my friend Jack on a plane (Hi Jack!!!)...

submitted by Purple Girl, 13 June 2017
Showing page 1 (of 583 pages)

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