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Islamic State secret weapon

The Pentagon has received intelligence that Islamic State insurgents have launched a lethal new submarine squadron in Baghdad....

submitted by queen mudder, 06 September 2014

British hospitality website

Remember when booking a stay at a British hotel that theyll charge you for extras such as towels, sheets and toilet paper....

submitted by queen mudder, 03 September 2014

Manchester United Likely Formation

After Manchester Uniteds activity in the transfer market in the past few days and weeks, this is the likely set-up that Louis Van Gaal will use;...

submitted by Talking Tic-Tacs, 03 September 2014

Boris the father

Boris Johnson was in a south Hampstead suburb, during the mayoral election, and this very attractive, relatively middle-aged woman came to the door and said:...

submitted by Auntie Jean, 28 August 2014

Drink

I had a terrible day. When I got to work I was hauled in front of the Director and dismissed for something I had not done....

submitted by j.w., 19 August 2014

Obama the Pothead

A high school teacher who tutored Barack Obama says he never initially suspected the student was a stoner....

submitted by queen mudder, 15 August 2014

The Holy Man

One morning an Imam in Tehran entered his temple to do his morning service. On the floor in front of him lay a dishevelled prostitute who addressed herself to God as follows:...

submitted by Auntie Matter, 14 August 2014

Cliff Richard bust

Police have raided Cliff Richards Sunningdale apartment following a tip off....

submitted by queen mudder, 14 August 2014

Russian divorce

A Russian fertility doctor has been named as co-respondent in an ugly divorce case....

submitted by queen mudder, 11 August 2014

Pick Up

I went to pick up my grandmother from the station but she was too heavy....

submitted by j.w., 11 August 2014

Kiddie Fiddler Cousin

I was shocked to discover today that my cousin is a kiddie fiddler!...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 10 August 2014

Jewish landlords

A whole Palestinian village is in the dock for not paying any rent for the past two years....

submitted by queen mudder, 09 August 2014

Obama's Iraq blitz

President Obama receives intelligence about heavy drinking by Iraqs warring Islamist militants....

submitted by queen mudder, 08 August 2014

Two Limericks

As an occasional versifier from Kentucky, Im ashamed of the partial birth limerick that Senator Rand Paul delivered at Saturdays Fancy Farm Picnic. (To Sen. Pauls credit, however, you can tell he didnt...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 07 August 2014

Obama's Birthday

The Presidents Physician gets a 3am phone call from Barack Obama who thinks he overdid it celebrating his birthday. Symptoms include feeling spaced out, sweaty and terrible heartburn after eating an entire...

submitted by queen mudder, 04 August 2014

Zealot Repellent

This morning a woman rang our doorbell, offering our family a Bible and clearly wanting to share with me her faith journey, hoping, no doubt, that I would join her. I then explained to her that we already had...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 03 August 2014

Heaven or Hell

Theres a worry for a lot of people who are the point of dying. But they shouldnt worry whether they go to Heaven or Hell. If you go to Heaven you wont know anyone you meet and will die of boredom. But if you...

submitted by j.w., 31 July 2014

Putin in the closet

A newly appointed Russian security chief has asked the KGB about gay rumors surrounding President Vladimir Putin. Comrade, one of the spooks replies, thats like asking whats the difference between President Putin...

submitted by queen mudder, 25 July 2014

Space Station surveillance report

The ISS has apologised about its malfunctioning eye-in-the-sky. Early reports showed a massive, unidentified tornado-like object on New Jerseys George Washington Bridge about to obliterate the Garden State. Fortunately...

submitted by queen mudder, 20 July 2014

Law school

A Southern law school recruiter at a New York jobs fair invites 100 graduates to apply for fast tracking to an exclusive course. After a quick preamble describing the degree course he asks the audience Did yall go to Harvard?...

submitted by queen mudder, 26 June 2014

Clinton, Biden, Obama and now George Dubya Bush plead poverty

Thats nothing, Dubya said tonight after President Barack Obama told TV viewers he and Michelle were so strapped for cash they had to resort to twice monthly payday loans. When Laura and I left the White House nearly bankrupt and...

submitted by queen mudder, 24 June 2014

Hospital Nightmare

I had a nightmare on my most recent visit to hospital. I came across this sign Minor Surgeryand looked into the clinic. There were young boys and girls carving up bodies as they were learning how to carry out surgery and I was next...

submitted by j.w., 18 June 2014

Reflections of an old Indian Tribe

I was reminded today of an old friend, a gentleman I met in Nevada, an Osage Indian, who was aged when I met him. He had no idea of his age. When he was born, on the Indian reservation, in Oklahoma, there...

submitted by Spicewood, 04 June 2014

Just A Head

A boy is born without a body; only a head. For his 21st birthday his father takes him to a bar for a drink. The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He...

submitted by D P Whitehead, 03 June 2014
Showing page 1 (of 578 pages)


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