Showing page 1 (of 583 pages)

Putin's Favorite Jokes

1. How do you get rid of mice?...

submitted by Al N., 20 November 2017

Favorite Song

A convict, sentenced to death, is asked what he wants for his last meal. He could not decide and asked for more time to think about it....

submitted by Al N., 18 November 2017

Sent to Prison

A judge, who was presiding over a case and was about to issue sentence, said to the defendants, All three of you men have been found guilty of the charges brought forward against you and it is now my...

submitted by this_is_my_screen_name, 16 November 2017

Died and Went to Heaven

A priest had died and went to heaven. He was approached by Saint Peter, who said, Weve been expecting you. As you have lived such a righteous life, we have prepared some magnificent quarters for you to...

submitted by this_is_my_screen_name, 16 November 2017

Naughty Nuns

Four nuns were standing outside the Golden Gates waiting for Saint Peter to allow them to pass through and enter heaven. When he arrived he said to the nuns, all of you have lived lives of righteousness,...

submitted by this_is_my_screen_name, 16 November 2017

The Little Tug Boat that could!

A grain company at Minneapolis had half a dozen loaded barges that it desperately needed to send down river to a destination a few hours away. Unfortunately, it was a small company and relied on independent...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 13 November 2017

Ann, the little newspaper delivery girl

When I was a kid, in junior high school, one of my classmates was Ann Gelsing, an ambitious, outgoing girl who was always finding ways to make a buck. At one point she had a job usually reserved for boys...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 09 November 2017

A Doctor's Appointment

A guy goes to the doctor for a check-up, and is in the waiting room when he hears a blood-curdling scream down the hall. Suddenly, a Nun runs out of the Doctors office and out into the street, whimpering...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 31 October 2017

First Day of Hunting Season

A North Dakota farmer was getting tired of all the out-of-state, amateur hunters that always showed up on the first day of hunting season each year. The main problem is that the fledgling hunters will...

submitted by Al N., 30 October 2017

Not An Elephant!

A man was visiting the zoo when he came across a curious sign outside of a holding pen, thats being repainted by a zookeeper. What?! This sign says that theres a talking pachyderm in there?! Whats that?...

submitted by Stefano M. Stefano, 07 October 2017

How to get a Really Good Tan

Early in their career as co-authors of a political news column, Drew Pearson and Jack Anderson vacationed at the Coronado Hotel near San Diego. The first night of their arrival Anderson read an article...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 06 October 2017

Halloween Joke

This year at the annual White House Halloween Party . . . . President Donald Trump shows up at the party dressed in a white hood and robes. Jeff Sessions, costumed as Confederate General Stone Wall Jackson,...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 05 October 2017

The Thrifty Musician

Stop! shouted the anguished conductor. As the music stopped and the musicians put down their instruments, the dismayed director turned to one of the new players in the brass section,...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 29 September 2017

That Revolutionary, New Horseshoe

Disturbed by the high prices charged by farriers when replacing shoes on their thoroughbreds, trainers at Santa Anita put their heads together and developed a revolutionary, light weight horseshoe that...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 29 September 2017

Stop at a Bar? Why did the Turtle?

A turtle bellied up to the bar, huffing and puffing. The bartender said, Whatll you have? The turtle replied, Whisky. Make it a double. Why so depressed? the bartender asked. Sipping on his drink, the...

submitted by D. L. Hawkinson, 22 September 2017

Axe Murder?

When George was charged with chopping his girlfriend to death, he readily admitted that he killed her, but protested that it wasnt murder. At his trial, his defense...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 20 September 2017

Fire and Fury

(With apologies to Robert Frost) Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in fury. From what Ive heard from Donald Trump He wants to make the world a dump And...

submitted by Matt Birkenhauer, 19 September 2017

One for Pun Lovers and the Medical Community

QUESTION: When is an O a Q? ANSWER: When its a prolapsed vowel . . . Okay, to understand this riddle, you obviously need to know what a prolapse is. Get a dictionary....

submitted by D. L. Hawkinson, 15 September 2017

Rock-a-bye Birdie

The indigenous inhabitants of an as yet uncharted island were plagued by an inexplicable increase in the size of the tern population. A few of the noisy birds had been bad enough, but these terns were...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 14 September 2017

The Final Political Cliche

Sen. Joe Smith had served in congress longer than anyone in the nations history - nearly 70 years. At his memorial service the eulogy was delivered by a long-time colleague who had retired from politics...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 06 September 2017

The Everlasting Chess Game

Two elderly chess aficionados were locked in a never ending game, at the master level. It continued right through the Christmas season, unending, day and night. At one point the wife of one came into...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 01 September 2017

Where Should the Professor put His Whores?

The young, first-year philosophy professor faced a common end-of-the-term dilemma in an introductory course: one two-hour session left but four hours of ideas that had not been presented yet. Moreover,...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 30 August 2017

The Bride's Lament

The recently married young couple had shelled out more than they could afford in order to hire a well-known professional wedding photographer. After waiting weeks for the photos to come, the bride discovered...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 28 August 2017

Port O' Call

The two wine connoisseurs, husband and wife, were nearing the end of an unforgettable cruise, memorable because of the unending storm which had dangerously rocked the ship for days. Severe winds and monstrous...

submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer, 28 August 2017
Showing page 1 (of 583 pages)

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