Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 12 June 2011

image for Selena Gomez Explains Her "Mystery" Ailment
The Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital located in Los Angeles. (Photo courtesy of Lindsay Lohan).

BURBANK - One of the main stars of the Disney Channel, Selena Gomez was suddenly taken ill and rushed to the hospital.

Gomez, aka Justin Bieber's girlfriend had just made an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno when she suddenly told her personal assistant that she was feeling dizzy, kind of like when she hears Sarah Palin going on and on about something that President Obama did or did not do.

She was quickly given a bottle of water and told to lie down in Jay Leno's office. Leno started to leave his office telling Selena's assistant, Mindy Grillbrewster, that he did not want to be the cause of any rumors about him and Selena that would get back to Justin.

The assistant giggled and told him that he was old enough to be her father and then she changed it to grandfather.

Leno, who does not have much of a sense of humor, told Grillbrewster to help Selena get up and put all of her clothes back on and help her out of his office.

He said that he had already arranged for his wife Mavis to drive her to the hospital in his 1938 Hispano-Suiza DuBonnet.

Gomez was quickly admitted into Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital. She did not have to go through the standard 13-page admission forms procedure since everyone in Los Angeles knows Mrs. Jay Leno.

Selena was immediately carried by two hospital orderlies up to her room on the 13th floor.

Gomez asked one of the older female nurses if she could be placed on another floor since she was superstitious of the number 13.

The nurse identified as Tularosa "Shotsy" Gettysburg put down her chart, arranged her name tag since it was upside down, and informed Gomez that this was Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital in Los Angeles and not The Whole Enchilada Hotel & Spa in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

Just then Nurse Gettysburg realized that her patient was the Selena Gomez of Disney Channel fame. She asked her if she could have her autograph. Gomez softly smiled and told her to go to eBay and buy one on line.

As Selena waited for the doctor to show up and check her out, Mindy asked her if she had any idea as to what her mystery ailment could possibly be.

Selena smiled. She put down her copy of NBA Weekly and confided to Mindy that her mystery ailment was brought on by the fact that she missed her boyfriend Justin

Gomez said that the same thing had happened once before when he had returned to Canada to help his mom paint her bedroom.

Selena said that one of the symptoms of her ailment is that her tonsils swell up and actually touch each other making it hard for her to eat pizza, burgers, pitas, or barbacoa tacos.

She said that once Justin shows up and touches her the tonsil swelling will go down immediately and she will be fine.

Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that Selena Gomez informed them that the nation's 'First Kiddoes' Malia and Sasha Obama have agreed to appear on Selena's Disney show 'The Wizards of Waverly Place.' She noted that they have agreed to donate their appearance fee to The 2011 White House Christmas Party Fund.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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