Funny story: Jacksonville Jaguars owner spooked as $100m ocean-going runabout sprouts a leak

Jacksonville Jaguars owner spooked as $100m ocean-going runabout sprouts a leak

London - Pakistani-American billionaire Shahid Khan's brand new superyacht Kismet was seen limping to emergency moorings this afternoon after springing a leak close to Blackfriars Bridge on the Thames in London. Named after the Scottish word for '...
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Kool-Aid Man Banned from All Stadium Events!

In a surprise move that no one saw coming, the Kool-Aid Man has been banned from all stadium events, especially football and hockey events, across North America and the UK effective immediately. In a press release, event organizers cited concerns ove...
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NFL Mandates Owners To Develop More Accurate Team Names

With the Washington Redskins under a great deal of pressure to change their team name, the National Football League has decided to address the issue by requiring owners to update their clubs' names to reflect the current realities of their communitie...
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Funny story: Pope Blessing of Eternal Life for Soccer Players

Pope Blessing of Eternal Life for Soccer Players

Pope Francis has announced that the Vatican will become a major sponsor of sporting events such as the FIFA World Cup and the Olympics, and called on churches around the world to get more involved in sporting events in their communities. In conti...
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Funny story: DC footballers change their logo to keep their name

DC footballers change their logo to keep their name

Washington DC -- Under fire for long harboring a racially inappropriate team identity, this city's NFL franchise has changed its logo from the silhouette of a Native American warrior to the image of a potato. "This should make everybody happy," a...
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World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

Z├╝rich, Switzerland - Busy soccer fans can now extend their hectic days with a new World Cup innovation from FIFA. Called My Time™, the futbol souvenir puts the power of soccer scheduling into the hands of ordinary spectators. Delivered wit...
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Former UNC Chapel Hill Standout Offensive Tackle Writes an Op-Ed to the 'Akron Beacon Journal'

I've been looking over a recent copy of the Akron Beacon Journal. It's not a fair or balanced paper, as I see it, and really should have a sickle and hammer on its flag. And I'm pretty darned liberal myself. I remember back, oh, about 20 years or...
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Funny story: The Jackass Whisperer, Daniel Snyder, now takes center stage

The Jackass Whisperer, Daniel Snyder, now takes center stage

It's time for the worst NFL owner to have his celebrity again. Yes, it's Daniel Snyder's time to shine. Snyder has been the principal owner of the Washington Re*sk*ns pro football team since 1999. This season, Snyder's team went 4-12 - for a wallo...
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Breaking News...

Irritable General Colon Bowel Syndrome flare-up among Israel-Hezbollah might be over

Colonic Irrigation Regiment sent in to flush out anyone crapping on tentative piss talks
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Funny story: Navratilova upstages Djokovic and Nishikori at U. S. Open

Navratilova upstages Djokovic and Nishikori at U. S. Open

ONLY IN AMERICA - Martina Navratilova, known as much for her lesbianism as for her tennis, upstaged both Novak Djokovic and Keri Nishikori at the U. S. Open when Navratilova proposed to her long-time girlfriend, Julia Lemigova." The magic mome...
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Funny story: Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Defends NFL

Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Defends NFL

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has given an impassioned defense of football at a Dallas news conference. In his opening statement he said that the NFL had more than 200 unique million viewers last season. "Hundreds of thousands of them were po...
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Funny story: Ray Rice Suspension Overturned, Now Eligible To Punch Roger Goodell

Ray Rice Suspension Overturned, Now Eligible To Punch Roger Goodell

HOOTERS -- Former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice has had his indefinite suspension from the NFL overturned, and is immediately eligible to punch NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in the elevator of his office suite. "I just wanna get back to...
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Funny story: Dan Uggla Ejected From Atlanta Hooters

Dan Uggla Ejected From Atlanta Hooters

ATLANTA, Ga: Atlanta Metro are still trying to piece together an unlikely chain of events that occurred late Thursday Evening inside of a Hooters downtown. Dan Uggla, who was recently released by the Atlanta Braves, apparently had a little too much...
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Funny story: Cheesy law regarding football spawns other gridiron lunacy

Cheesy law regarding football spawns other gridiron lunacy

BAINBRIDGE ISLAND, WA -- Bainbridge Island, Washington, has outlawed cheese. At least, during the upcoming NFC Championship game that pits the Seattle Seahawks against the Green Bay Packers. And it's not only cheese per se that's banned, but al...
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Funny story: Dan Uggla Released From Giants; Refuses To Wear Adult Sized Jersey

Dan Uggla Released From Giants; Refuses To Wear Adult Sized Jersey

SAN FRANSISCO, Ca: Reports are flooding from inside the San Francisco Giants' Clubhouse regarding the release of their dumpy mid-season pickup, Dan Uggla. Uggla can't seem to find a home after his recent flop in Atlanta, as they released him just a f...
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Funny story: Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Baltimore, MD - Exiled NFL running back Ray Rice has landed a couple of endorsement deals in the wake of his humiliating firing from the Baltimore Ravens after video surfaced of him beating his future wife in an elevator months ago. Rice inked a d...
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Funny story: Detroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury

Detroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury

Wilfred "Willie" Makett, star shortstop and fan favorite of the Detroit Tigers broke his right leg last night in a freak accident at his home during the All-Star break and will be sidelined for the balance of the season. He told hospital personnel th...
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Joined: 20 April 2008
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