Funny story: Ray Rice Suspension Overturned, Now Eligible To Punch Roger Goodell

Ray Rice Suspension Overturned, Now Eligible To Punch Roger Goodell

HOOTERS -- Former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice has had his indefinite suspension from the NFL overturned, and is immediately eligible to punch NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in the elevator of his office suite. "I just wanna get back to...
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A game of two Popes as Frankie the Argie and Benedict the Kraut post hexes for Sunday's World Cup final

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - The new Vatican hex-messaging service has kicked into action with Pope Francis and Pope Benedict both tweeting like crazy about their influence with 'Him Upstairs'. Online oddsmakers Aintgottaprayer.con has responded acco...
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NFL Commissioner Allegedly Considering Replacing Human Players With Robots

NEW YORK--In an attempt to deal with domestic violence cases which have blackened the reputation of his league, as well as to forestall the further growth of class-action suits pertaining to dementia, concussions and other disorders by National Footb...
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Funny story: ESPN Suspends All Network Employees for Future Insensitive Remarks

ESPN Suspends All Network Employees for Future Insensitive Remarks

Bristol, CT - Hank Williams Jr., Max Kellerman and Stephen A. Smith are only a few of the recipients of ESPN's rash of suspensions or firings, handed out after each made comments deemed politically incorrect by the sports network. So, as a pre...
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Funny story: Oakland Raiderettes worth more than their weight in gold

Oakland Raiderettes worth more than their weight in gold

LAND o' OAKS, CA - Known for their sleazy uniforms, the Oakland Raiderettes, who claim to be cheerleaders, have something to cheer about: they were awarded $125 million dollars in a lawsuit, agreeing to "settle" for representing the Raiders rathe...
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Jameis Winston Hopes Crab Legs Incident Overshadows Sexual Assault Allegations

TALLAHASSEE - In 2012, Winston was accused of sexual assault by a female student. The medical examination showed the victim had injuries indicative of sexual trauma; in addition, the victim identified Winston as the attacker. However, the Tallahassee...
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Former UNC Chapel Hill Standout Offensive Tackle Writes an Op-Ed to the 'Akron Beacon Journal'

I've been looking over a recent copy of the Akron Beacon Journal. It's not a fair or balanced paper, as I see it, and really should have a sickle and hammer on its flag. And I'm pretty darned liberal myself. I remember back, oh, about 20 years or...
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Funny story: Miami Heat Sign Bela Karolyi To Carry LeBron Up And Down Court If Cramps Persist

Miami Heat Sign Bela Karolyi To Carry LeBron Up And Down Court If Cramps Persist

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON, SOUTH BEACH --The Miami Heat have hired legendary gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi to carry their star LeBron James up and down the court in case his cramping persists in the NBA finals against the San Antonio Spurs. "You can...
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Breaking News...

Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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Funny story: New York Jets Excited to Learn Ray Rice a Free Agent

New York Jets Excited to Learn Ray Rice a Free Agent

NEW YORK - The New York Jets are in last place in the AFC East. Looking for help in the backfield, they are reportedly interested in former Ravens running back Ray Rice. As of this hour, no team has put in a claim for the recently reinstated player.
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Funny story: American Football Seeks to Learn from Soccer

American Football Seeks to Learn from Soccer

As the World Cup begins in Brazil, violent protests have spread far and wide across the nation. News and images of clashes have shocked the world but mostly in the US where the sport labeled as 'football' rarely sees such displays of affection. Ma...
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Funny story: Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early

Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early

Wimbledon, London - World number one seed Serena Williams is up the duff if Wimbledon tournament rumors are to be believed. A 3-0 game of double faults saw the winner of 32 Majors pull out early citing women's problems and a 'lack of balls'. U...
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Funny story: LeBron James Rats Out on Cavaliers, Signs on with Texas Rangers, May Play Hockey with Red Wings this Winter

LeBron James Rats Out on Cavaliers, Signs on with Texas Rangers, May Play Hockey with Red Wings this Winter

CLEVELAND, Ohio - LeBron James has reneged on his contract to play NBA basketball for the Cleveland Cavaliers and instead has signed a three-year deal to be a relief pitcher for the Texas Rangers. Not even a month ago, King James signed a two-yea...
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Funny story: Dan Uggla Ejected From Atlanta Hooters

Dan Uggla Ejected From Atlanta Hooters

ATLANTA, Ga: Atlanta Metro are still trying to piece together an unlikely chain of events that occurred late Thursday Evening inside of a Hooters downtown. Dan Uggla, who was recently released by the Atlanta Braves, apparently had a little too much...
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Funny story: Iranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor

Iranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor

With the Football world cup winding down, there has been a number of different reactions to teams as they head back to their respective countries. One team that was especially nervous before the world cup was Iran. They failed to win a single...
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Funny story: NFL Mandates Owners To Develop More Accurate Team Names

NFL Mandates Owners To Develop More Accurate Team Names

With the Washington Redskins under a great deal of pressure to change their team name, the National Football League has decided to address the issue by requiring owners to update their clubs' names to reflect the current realities of their communitie...
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Funny story: Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Baltimore, MD - Exiled NFL running back Ray Rice has landed a couple of endorsement deals in the wake of his humiliating firing from the Baltimore Ravens after video surfaced of him beating his future wife in an elevator months ago. Rice inked a d...
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victor nicholas
victor nicholas
Joined: 20 April 2008
Stories Written: 314

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