There were 105 spoof news stories published in July 2023. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The FBI has a video of Trump stealing White House silverware
Ipso Facto News writer Sinclair Petaluma, said the FBI has surveillance video of Trump stealing silverware from the White House kitchen. Petaluma personally took an independent poll of Trump supporters, and he found that only 7% say that they woul…
Read full storyKhloe Kardashian admits that yes, she recently dated a Taliban hitman - but only once
In a surprising twist that had Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle's eyebrows reaching for the stars, she dared to ask the towering Khloe Kardashian about a peculiar rumor circulating in the celebrity cosmos – was she really dating a hitma…
Read full storyKing Charles addresses the rumor that one of the Buckingham Palace royal guards is an Al-Qaeda terrorist
Tickety Boo News reporter Grover Buck first broke the story about a Buckingham Palace guard actually being an Al-Qaeda operative. Buck said that he got the scoop from record producer and businessman Simon Cowell. Cowell reportedly heard the rum…
Read full storyKing Charles and President Biden sign 'The Anti-Terrorist Pact"
Word filtering out of Buckingham Palace is that King Charles III, and President Joe Biden have agreed to sign what they are calling the "US/UK Anti-Terrorist Pact." According to Buckingham Palace spokesperson Nigel Foote, the pact states in no unc…
Read full storyA Hezbollah hitman is arrested at a wrestling match
One of the world's most wanted terrorist hitmen, Yaseen Su Tibia, was arrested as he sat in the second row at a WWE wrestling match in New York City. The Hezbollah terrorist, who is known as "The Crazy Creep," told arresting officers that he is n…
Read full storySales of the Tesla Motors police cars are hitting astronomical proportions
International Inquirer reporter Paco Tabasco, who is a close friend of gazillionaire Elon Musk, owner of Tesla Motors, reports that sales of the brand new Tesla Police Car are hitting astronomical proportions. The new law enforcement vehicle is ou…
Read full storyA tremendous mudslide buries dozens of Italian vineyards
The cost of wine will certainly be going up as a recent mudslide has destroyed over 30 of Italy's best vineyards. The mudslide nicknamed "II Fango," struck at 3:33 am, Cleveland time. Early reports are that two of "The Boot Country's" major vin…
Read full storyA 70-foot high tsunami sinks a Russian destroyer
The Kremlin Voice reports that a devastating tsunami has sunk a Russian naval destroyer. The KV states that the Russian warship, "The Olga Svetsinovich," sunk within 14 minutes of getting hit by the massive wave, which was taller than a seven stor…
Read full storyKing Charles says that he is seriously considering buying Wembley Stadium
Hold onto your scarves footy fans because King Charles recently spilled the beans to none other than our roving reporter, Petula Tart, from The Ta Ta For Now News Agency. And what's all the buzz about? A little bit of football, a lot of royalty, and…
Read full storyThe US Proctologists Guild names Ted Cruz "asshole of the year"
One of the most hated individuals in America, Ted "Dracula" Cruz has just been named "The Asshole of The Year" by The US Proctologists Guild. Cruz joins other assholes of the year such as Donald "The Orange Whale" Trump, Ann "Horse Face" Coulter,…
Read full storyThe Supreme Court rules that March Madness has to remain in March
The NCAA March Madness Rules & Policy Committee had been thinking about changing the college basketball tournament from March to May. The committee stated that the weather would be better for the players, the fans, the cheerleaders, and the be…
Read full storyTaylor Swift is the new spokeswoman for Non-knock-up™ birth control pills
There is no one in the entire United States who makes more TV commercials than Taylor Swift. Tay-Tay has sung country, pop, blues, gospel, and even recorded a hip hop album with noted rapper Yo Yo Afro Woke. And now The News Now News Agency is…
Read full storyThree of Trump's cousins say that the evil bonehead needs to go to prison
According to Timeless Magazine, Donald J.E. Trump, aka The Orange Shithead, is still the most hated man in the entire US of A. Trump is more hated than Bernie Madoff, Charles Manson, O.J. Simpson, Greg Gutfeld, Ann Coulter, Bill Cosby, and Benedic…
Read full storyCharles Barkley says he drinks a case of Bud Light every day and adds F*ck da haters!
One of the greatest players to ever dribble a basketball, Charles Barkley, has said that he supports the LGBTQ community. He noted that he knows several members of extremists groups who are closet gaylords and lesbionics. He then commented that…
Read full storyThe sales of Elon Musk's new Tesla Convertible are shooting through the 'roof'
Elon Musk and his ingenious team at Tesla Motors have once again left the world agog with their latest creation – the ultra-modern Tesla Transformer Convertible! Musk, the wizard behind the wheels, proudly announced that the new convertible featur…
Read full storyTaylor Swift opens the "Old Fashioned Chattanooga Chicken Tenders" diner
Taylor Swift who has been up on Cloud 9 since she began her intimate relationship with the star of "Hell On Wheels," Anson Mount reveals that she and Anson are now the proud owners of a new chicken chain. The new eatery is named The Taylor Swift O…
Read full storyA devastating earthquake hits Moscow destroying the city's largest salad dressing factory
The BuzzFuzz News Agency (Russia) is reporting that a catastrophically disastrous earthquake measuring 7.9 on the Richter Scale hit the nation's capitol. The earthquake destroyed several Moscow bars as well as several beauty salons, a massage parl…
Read full storyMcDonalds is now selling McPopcorn
The McDonalds menu food items department is always working overtime, and they have just come up with the latest food item addition. A spokesperson for Mickey D's said that their test kitchen in Cicero, Illinois, has come up with their latest and g…
Read full storyBritney Spears' reusable tampons "flood the market"
Walmart is proud to announce that they are the first retail chain in the USA to carry the new, amazing Britney Spears Reusable Tampons. According to New Products Institute spokeswoman Paula Muskogee, the new reusable tampons are the greatest thing…
Read full storyStormy Daniels says that Trump is one really messed up son-of-a-bitch
The woman who became famous for having her vajayjay grabbed by the former Golfer-In-Chief, Donald J. Erasmus Trump, says that she heard from a very reliable source that the racist bigot has been placed on suicide watch. Stormy would not reveal who…
Read full storyBezos-Musk Inc.'s new amazing iPhone is the size of a domino
The two most brilliant minds in the entire world have just invented a brand new state-of-the-art iPhone. Bezos-Musk Inc., which is headquartered in Austin has just released their brand new Bezos-Musk Saturn 13 iPhone. The S-13 is the size of a…
Read full storyAmerica's top female spy, Lady Chatterley, is a mistress of disguises
President Biden recently commented at a dinner in honor of America's number 1 spy, code name: Lady Chatterley, that he wishes the US had half a dozen female spies, as talented, as gorgeous, and as sexy as LC. She has dated Russian President Vladim…
Read full storyEvery US retail outlet has run out of the WNBA sheer mesh panties
Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti has stated that retail stores Walmart, Target, and Fiddle Faddle have all run out of the new WNBA panties. Confetti noted that the new undies come in sizes S, M, L, XL, XXL, and XXXL - though, good luck finding t…
Read full storyElon "Midas" Musk signs Kim Kardashian and Joaquin Beauregard to appear in a commercial for his new Tesla Copter
The Alpha Beta News Agency is reporting that Elon Musk, owner of Tesla Motors, has just signed "America's Couple" Kim Kardashian and Joaquin Beauregard to appear in a commercial for his latest addition the "Tesla Copter." Musk told reporter Mimosa…
Read full storyThe nation's number one lipstick is Cover Chick Cosmetic's 'Sultry'
The lipstick industry has just gotten the biggest boost since waterproof lipstick as "Sultry," by Cover Chick Cosmetics has just hit the cosmetic market. According to a representative with CCC, the new lipstick has several secret ingredients that…
Read full storyA top Al-Qaeda spy is arrested watching the Yankees and the Astros at Yankee Stadium
One of Al-Qaeda's leading spies, Hanji Mir Azis was recently arrested as he sat in Yankee Stadium watching a game between the Yanks and the world champion Houston Astros. Mir Azis is considered to be one of the world's most prolific spies, who has…
Read full storyThe stand up comedian who invented the 'Punch Line' turns 99
BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx reports that Paul "The Ragin' Cajun" Punch has just celebrated his 99th birthday. Punch, who was a stand up comedian, is credited with having invented the comical routine 'Punch Line." The "Ragin Cajun" at one tim…
Read full storyFamous Weird Things About Some Of Our Favorite People
In the realm of entertainment, truth can often be stranger than fiction. From mistaken identities to unexpected talents, the stories behind the stars never cease to amaze. Take a journey through the bewildering world of Hollywood oddities. Neil Di…
Read full storyThe NRA member numbers continue to drop like rain from the sky
The QuinniPinni Polling Agency reports that members are leaving the NRA like gazelles running from a pack of hungry lions. A rep of the reputable polling agency said that the members are tired of the verbal abuse that they have been receiving from…
Read full storyIt is so damn hot in Texas that a woman baked a loaf of bread in her mail box
The Houston Citizen Review Newspaper reports that the temperatures in Texas are so damn high that a woman who resides in San Antonio actually baked a loaf of bread in her mail box. Reporter Bijou Overdown spoke with Mrs. Flatonia Kibbanowski, 78,…
Read full storyAvocado Wedding Cakes have become quite the rage
According to the Vox Populi News Agency, avocado wedding cakes are now the most popular wedding cakes in the state of California. The delicious avocado marital cakes are the brainchild of Burbank baker Shilo "Sugar" Coronado, who has been baking w…
Read full story“I Hump for Jesus” … not if you wanna keep your job, Amy
A strange new law is soon to come to America, which still insists that it has a separation of church and state. Politicians, police, judges and other people in elevated places of power and prestige – those who control the lives and freedoms of oth…
Read full storyAnderson Cooper admits that Britney Spears has "ungayed" him
In the 'All Things Are Possible" department, LaLaLand Daily reporter Willow Tulsa broke the story that Anderson Cooper revealed to her that since meeting and getting to know blonde songstress Britney Spears he is thrilled to announce that he is no lo…
Read full storyBritney Spears reveals that she had a vagina tightening procedure done
Britney Spears has had two kids and she recently revealed to Bedroom Pillow Talk writer Carolina Chipotle that some of her feminine body parts are not as nubile, perky, and frisky as they used to be. The 41-year-old singer, dancer, actress, marath…
Read full storyHarry and Megs create royal rap song
Everything else failed: interviews, books, Netflix film, the Manhattan car chase. Still, the royal family remains loved and respected, not hidden behind sunglasses, making appointments with paparazzi. How to convince the world of the horrors cause…
Read full storyFights at Popeyes without a single can of spinach in sight
We’ve all seen Twitter and all it has to offer. Since Elon took over there are more ads from bizarre companies than ever. What a capitalist age we live in. But no, I’m not talking about that. Nor about all the Go Fund Me or Only Fans Twitter Hos.
Read full storyMadonna talks about the rumors that she and Rosie O'Donnell are married to each other
The "Rumor Mills" have been working overtime and the latest scoop is that former singer Madonna, who is 64, but looks 84, and unemployed TV host Rosie O'Donnell, who is 61, and looks 62, are a couple, as in a 'Married Couple." Madonna, who is know…
Read full storyAfter only one week on the market Ben and Jerry discontinues their Trump Banana Bigot ice cream
The biggest ice cream maker in the world, Ben and Jerry, has just announced that due to dismal sales, they are discontinuing their Trump Banana Bigot Ice Cream. A spokeperson for the creamery stated that only 29 pints were sold in the entire Unite…
Read full storyThe WNBA names Britney Spears Sports Bra the best in the business
The Sports Bet Gazette has just revealed that the new Britney Spears Sports Bra has just been named "The Best Sports Bra in The Sports World" by the Women's National Basketball Association. Kia Nurse with the Seattle Storm stated that she has has…
Read full storyThe new Anson Mount 'Hell On Wheels' condoms are flying off the shelves
Reports filtering out of Madison Avenue are that the new "Hell On Wheels" Condoms, which were designed with Anson Mount (aka a rugged man) in mind are selling like beer at a New York City sports bar. The new condoms were designed to be 100% effect…
Read full storyThe Kardashian Sisters buy a Las Vegas gambling casino & hotel
Brace yourselves, because the Kardashian K Klan has just descended upon the Las Vegas strip in their signature style, turning Sin City into 'K-Sin' City! In a move that's more extravagant than a Kardashian closet, the nation's wealthiest siblings hav…
Read full storyMadonna aka 'The Material Grandmother' admits that her voice has left the building
The Daily Dirt is reporting that Madonna the 'has been' singer recently told reporter Stormy Coin that she can no longer hit the high notes so she is going to have to hang up her microphone. Madonna whose real name is Madonna Louise Pepperonia Cic…
Read full storyTrump has just picked Ted Cruz to be his vice-presidential running mate
Well ladies and gentleman, it is now official, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, who many are calling the "Teflon Racist" has just informed the news media that he has chosen Guatemala native Sen. Ted Cruz to be his official 2024 presidential election ru…
Read full storyTwo members of the Proud Boys planned to steal Gov. Greg "Eggplant Face" Abbott's wheelchair
The FBI has uncovered a plot by two low-level members of the highly extremist group, The Proud Boys, who were going to steal Gov. "Shitface" Abbott's million dollar wheelchair and throw it in the Gulf of Mexico. Federal agents Clive P. Trailwood a…
Read full storyElton John caught with an inflatable doll at Heathrow Airport
Elton John, the 76-year-old English crooner was caught at the Heathrow luggage check in counter with an inflatable doll in one of his 6 pink suitcases. At first Elly tried to say that the pink suitcase was not his, but lets face it, who else has a…
Read full storyBritney Spears and Jennifer Lopez record an anti-Trump song
Two of America's top singers, Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez have gone into the recording studio and recorded an anti-Donald Trump song. The pair went into the Round and Round Recording Studio in El Segundo, California and recorded a song that…
Read full storyAnother lie by Donald Trump
Writing that Donald Trump said he was Robert Redford in a fat suit was an example of satire. Alternatively, it was a joke. However, Donald Trump still has an issue with the truth. George Washington said, "I cannot tell a lie." It remains his epit…
Read full storyHall of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan opens up Ryan's Fastball Chicken Diner
(SPORTS NEWS) - Sporting Chance Magazine writer Hercules Confetti has just broken the story that the greatest baseball pitcher of all-time has just opened up Ryan's Fastball Chicken Diner in his hometown of Alvin, Texas. Confetti noted that Nolan,…
Read full storyThe Goombalini crime family is very close with the warden of Sing Sing Prison (where Trump is headed)
The notorious East Coast crime family, the Goombalini's, have just informed reporter Carmine Calatino, with The New York Sunshine Observer Newspaper that they recently spoke with the warden of Sing Sing Prison. The Mafia family spokesman Piccolo S…
Read full storyThe Michael Jordan Bull Brand condoms are the nation's number one seller
Every retail store and drug store in America has run out of The Michael Jordan Bull Brand Condoms. The QuinniPinni Research Agency reports that it is now the number one selling birth control method in the entire nation. The "Bully's" as they ha…
Read full storySwedish book burning needs focus - aim for the Jewels!
The Swedes are burning books again … and I must take serious issue with this issue! Sure, one could say that any god who worries Him- or Itself over the burning of His book is no god at all. Aren’t gods bigger than their holy books? Apparently not…
Read full storyLeBron James opens up LeBron's chicken house diner
The Los Angeles Post Gazette Newspaper has just put out that Los Angeles Lakers super star LeBron James has just opened up LeBron's Chicken House Diner in Tarzana, California. Reporter Fargo Windmill spoke with James, who said that owning his own…
Read full storyEvangelicals will not obey the Bible anymore …well, not the Old part anyway
Biblical “scholars” are frightened and confused by a certain passage in the Bible that is being brought into a new light, via Twitter and other anger-inducing web pages. Now let’s get one thing clear: this occurs in the Old Testament part, not the…
Read full storyWhataburger has just named their latest burger in honor of Kobe Bryant
The Whataburger corporate headquarters has just named their latest addition to their food item menu in honor of the Los Angeles Lakers great, Kobe Bryant. The new burger has been christened The WhataKobe. The national burger chain spoke with Mr…
Read full storyDairy Queen doesn’t want to get lost in a blizzard
Following a recent photo showing Trump at an Iowa Dairy Queen, we met a man who claimed he was the local store manager at a Burlington bus stop. Dressed in weathered and tattered clothing, each item bearing the signs of long and difficult days, and p…
Read full storyGOP diehards say that Trump has turned into gorilla shit
Vox Populi writer Tapioca Swizzle said that she took an independent poll of Trump supporters and she found that only 4% say that they would support him in a 2024 presidential run. 96% of his Kool-Aid drinking followers say that they would rather s…
Read full storyBritney Spears' "just say no to drugs" program is a big success in 49 states
The US DEA has just stated that Britney Spears' "Just Say Hell No To Drugs" program is a tremendous hit in 49 of the states. A spokesman for the DEA, Lionel Boocastle, divulged that the only state where the drug program did not work was in Alabama…
Read full storyThe rumor mills are working overtime with an affair between Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull
Left Coast Mirror Magazine reports that the Latin singing duo of Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull are flat out denying that they are involved in a passionate affair. The two put on what is considered one of the most passion-filled concert performances o…
Read full storyThe notorious Goombalini family wants to buy Madison Square Garden
The notorious Cosa Nostra crime family, the Goombalini's have expressed that they want to purchase New York's Madison Square Garden. A spokesperson for the family, Giancralo Goombalini, said that the 10 brothers are all sports enthusiasts who enjo…
Read full storyOld man thought he was having a stroke watching women's golf
Old Angus McGuiness was absolutely convinced he was he was having the initial signs of a stroke, but with help from a keen 911 operator, he was found to be OK over the phone. "I called 911 because all the words on the television screen were comple…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus says her bikini line injury from twerking has healed up nicely
In an exclusive interview with Press Extra, the ever-entertaining Miley Cyrus revealed that her recent twerking injury is far from a 'bump in the rump,' except for one hilarious catch - it throbs like a disco beat when she sneezes or coughs! Accor…
Read full story'Z' mark on cars now has some folks confused in Ukraine
There has been a growing trend across many parts of Ukraine, of ordinary folks painting a white Z on a foe's vehicle, to settle a debt, or to right a perceived wrong. But now this new fad of 'revenge Z hits' might be going a bit too far, say some…
Read full storyDonald Trump announces he’s really Robert Redford — MAGA people buy it
Former White House resident, twice impeached, twice indicted, accused sex offender, announced on his social media platform (whatever it’s called) that he is really Robert Redford in disguise, and if you vote for him, and get him back into the White H…
Read full storyFBI agents have captured one of Al-Qaeda's sexiest female spies
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has just informed the American public that members of the Federal Bureau of Investigation have just captured one of the terrorist world's most notorious female spies. Miss Jean-Pierre stated that Mir…
Read full storySteamy texts from hot, sexy Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders
Sports Balls Illustrated Daily senior writer Dottie Bazooka has just compiled a list of texts that came from the sexy mouths of several of Jerry Jones' Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. The average age of a Cowboys cheerleader is 24, the average height is…
Read full storyAnson Mount and Taylor Hicks open up a gunshop in Amarillo
The most popular TV cowboy star on cable television, Anson Mount star of "Hell On Wheels," and his girlfriend Taylor Swift, have just opened up The Desperado Gunshop in downtown Amarillo, Texas. The shop sells everything from hollow point bullets…
Read full storyThe new reality TV show "Secrets" is a bona fide success
The Cosmos News Service is reporting that the latest reality show to hit the airwaves on the Bravisimo Network is "Secrets." The show deals with the sexploits of four Manhattan secretaries who work for a highly reputable Manhattan law firm. Rep…
Read full storyTaco Bell adds sushi and tofu burritos to their food menu
Taco Bell is the nation's number one national franchise for Mexican food. The company that was founded in 1962, by Alejandro Alonzo Bell has just come up with it's latest food menu creation, the Sushi and Tofu Burrito. The new food item was tested…
Read full storyMerry Christmas, The Spoof readers
By the time you read this article, it should probably be one week before Christmas, and all through The Spoof editorial house, this article will finally be published during the near correct month, week, and day of the December calendar. Ballpark?…
Read full storyClarry Thomas, trans lesbian and powdered wig, may have to write laws against herself
Clarence Thomas now identifies as a white Republican female lesbian who weighs a slim 101 pounds soaking wet. The ink has yet to dry on the law she wrote banning her from being her. A close friend of the Supreme Court Justice who is doing all he c…
Read full storyIn the jungle, the mighty jungle
In the ancient days of the Dark Lord, sometime around the Year of the Gunslinger, 1896, the American Supreme Court made a little ditty that was straight outa “Animal Farm” by George Orwell. In that book, there’s a message written on the side of the b…
Read full storyWheel of Fortune fires host Pat Sajak after 42 years!
The very popular TV game show "Wheel of Fortune," which is filmed at the Burbank Studios in California, has just fired their long time game show host Pat Sajak. Tabloid Today reporter Papaya Bamboo was the first to report the firing. She noted tha…
Read full storyThe rumor mill says that the makers of Bud Light may be going bankrupt
There is much sadness at the headquarters of Anehuser-Busch, as their flagship beer Bud Light has seen sales dwindle down to unimaginable numbers. A spokesperson for the beer, Dex P. Vancrow said that his company has apologized 29 times already si…
Read full storyThe 'High AF Games' could soon become a reality!
Amersterdamit - A group of highly-organized stoners known as The High As Fuck Games are reportedly close to obtaining approval to host what would be the very first, bi-annual event, similar to the Olympics... But where the competitors will all be…
Read full storyBoo or Boo-urns?
Lindsey Graham, the lovable loser who never gives up, even when Trump gets arrested again and again … the man who loves Trump then hates him then loves him again … went back to his hometown of Slim Pickens, who hasn’t been seen since he rode a nuclea…
Read full storyUnfortunately, given the cost of housing here, someone might just do that...
This notice actually appeared on the Facebook page of Jackson, Wyoming Steals and Deals website: Hello Jackson Hole. I have a bunch of free stuff that will end up in a landfill and am hoping someone can use these items. Large spools - good for…
Read full storyThe great Michael Jordan tells Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones he wants to buy his team
The word on the streets of Chicago, the hometown of for Bulls superstar Michael Jordan, is that the greatest basketball player of all time wants to purchase, the Dallas Cowboys. Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight said that Jordan told him th…
Read full storyTrump and his WTF hairdo!!!
The US Hairstylists of America Union has just named Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump's hairdo as being, "The Nation's Most Fucked Up Hairdo From Hell." Out of the 39,467 hair groomers who voted, a total of 39,439 voted for Trump, 13 voted for Bill Ga…
Read full storyAnheuser-Busch sales are in the toilet and the company is asking Elon Musk for a loan
It appears that the makers of Bud Light, which has gone from number one in popularity to number 19, did not learn from the antics of the Dixie Chicks. The Chicks thought that it would be funny to say that President Bush (the daddy) was nothing mor…
Read full storyNo cluster bombs, please
All bombs, riffles, tanks, missiles, and landmines are invented to kill human life. Human killing weapons are immoral. Everyone was born and given life to live an everyday life, not to be killed by a lethal weapon like a bomb, riffle, tank, missile,…
Read full storyIs Carrie Underwood's marriage on the rocks???
Carrie Underwood first rose to prominence in 2005, when she won "American Idol." And from there the beautiful, sexy, blonde babe from Oklahoma has not looked back. Carrie's first single hit was titled, "I Can Ride Sidesaddle, But I Just Prefer To…
Read full storyKim Kardashian goes commando
The most popular of the Kardashian klan is certainly not shy about making a bold fashion statement. Kim, who is in a tempestuously erotic relationship with Spanish matador Joaquin Gazpacho, was recently photographed stepping out of her limo, dress…
Read full storyWhen two nerds go to war, moms get mad and cheerleaders laugh
Since Elon Musk can’t tell a joke to save his life, he is now trying to acquire more fame by doing things only a C-list celebrity would do to try to get back on top and be loved again. He’s going to try and beat up another techno nerd who also wan…
Read full storyMary of Nazareth was a street walker - dear Christ!
Satanic News: Mary divorced her husband Joseph of Nazareth when she caught him in bed with another man. That's when she decided to became a prostitute in the early stage of her son's life when he was nine years old. She abandoned her son Jesus an…
Read full storySupreme Court bans Cialis in a 7-2 decision
The Supreme Court, in a 7-2 decision, has banned the drug Cialis which, as one of the justices in the majority wrote, “Basically makes horny old men into incessant boneheads.” “Women,” noted Supreme Court Justice Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (one of…
Read full storyA Central American cartel claims Trump asked them for a HUGE campaign donation
The Scuttlebutt Review is reporting that a very high profile Central American "candy" cartel has claimed that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump reached out to them, asking for a sweet donation of $10 million to fund his 2024 presidential campaign. Apr…
Read full storyA Kentucky rabbi is arrested after DEA agents find 38 gallons of moonshine in his truck
A rabbi in Kentucky has been arrested by agents with the DEA. A spokesperson for the DEA stated that Rabbi Myron Myronowitz III, 43, was caught in a back holler outside of the town of Woodchuck Hormones, Kentucky. Rabbi Myron's 2020 Toyota Reno Ro…
Read full storyThe Alabama state senate has informed atheists to leave the state within 72 hours
In a move that many are calling highly illegal, the state senate of Alabama has voted to have all atheists leave the state within 72 hours. The vote was 96 to remove all atheists, 1 to allow them to stay, and 3 abstentions. One of the atheists,…
Read full storyLGBTQAI+ leaders will consider switching letters around
Gay Leaders in Frisco, as they like to call it, have released a press announcement that was both applauded and disliked within the gay community. The Leaders said in a brief statement, that they will consider switching the letters around in the LG…
Read full storyThe 3 KKK members who had charged wrestling champ Chief Buffalo Belly with assault have now dropped their charges
According to Pia Confetti with Sportsapalooza New, the World Wrestling Federation has just announced that the three Mississippi Ku Klux Klan members who claimed that Chief Buffalo Belly assaulted them in the parking lot of a Natchez, Mississippi, Mc…
Read full storyThe sexy golfing beauty Holly Sonders signs a contract with Victoria's Secret to model her own line of sensible sportswear
Victoria's Secret is proud as hell to announce that they have just signed golfing sensation Holly Sonders to a very lucrative modeling contract. Miss Sonders will be modeling her own line of sensible and fully supportive sportswear called, Holly's…
Read full storyIsraeli security forces arrest terrorist donkey
The top notch, best of the best, security forces in the entire world – in Israel? – have arrested a terrorist … donkey. (Ripped from the headlines of the “So bizarre it must be true” … this is somewhat of a true story. Google has the truth, maybe…
Read full storyEmpty cups: An open letter to the film industry regarding the depiction of coffee and other hot beverages
Dear Hollywood, dear illustrious dreamers of the American fantasy, dear, dear colleagues in art, There’s something we need to discuss. Coffee. And when I say “coffee” I mean any hot beverage that comes in a disposable paper cup with a plastic l…
Read full storyGrandpa Joe mean to Kamala: Tells her to “Get the f*** out of here!”
Small wonder Kamala Harris is no where to be found. Rumors that she was stuffed and mounted next to Trigger have bounced around the Beltway for weeks. Now we know why she has been in the closet for the past two years, notwithstanding the efforts of…
Read full storyThe disgraced Don Lemon's new book is titled, "I just got too damn arrogant and I believed that I was the Michael Jordan of the news world"
There is no doubt in anyone's mind that Louisiana native Don "Lemonhead" Lemon, just got a little too big for his effen britches, as they say down in the swamps and bayous of mosquito-riddled Louisiana. (Well, they probably don't, but don't worry.
Read full storyEmmanuel “Jesus” Macron sips champagne
Emmanuel Macron was playing a violent video game and losing. The zombies were just too fast and somehow they were getting smart. Macron thought they had no brains. He was the leader of France – surely he should always win the game against the enemy.
Read full storyKing Charles says that the clock in the Big Ben Tower will need to be replaced
In a nod to the enduring legacy of London's cherished icon, King Charles has paid tribute to the city's beloved Big Ben tower, marking its completion on May 13, 1859. This iconic landmark, named the Elizabeth tower in 2012 to mark his late mother's d…
Read full storyJennifer Lopez hired to be the spokeswoman for Lady Godiva sports pantiliners
Hollywood Innuendo reporter Fajita San Guacamole has just informed her readers that J.Lo, who dances, sings, acts, and plays the air tuba, has just been signed by Womanhood Intimate Products to be the official face or rather crotch for their new pubi…
Read full storyFans and critics agree that the Jennifer Lopez-Pitbull concert tour is HOT! HOT! HOT!
Critics and fans alike can't deny the sizzling chemistry between J.Lo and Pitbull, making their concert tour the hottest ticket in town—literally! These two scorching-hot performers are setting stages ablaze, and not just with their music. As they…
Read full storyMama Kris Jenner is the spokeswoman for the new line of swimsuits called Bikini Cougar
The L.A. Watchdog Witnesser reports that the matriarch of the Kardashian family, Kris Kardashian-Jenner has just been signed to be the official spokeswoman for the new line of swimwear for MILFs. Kris, who is 67, but has a body that looks like she…
Read full storyMad Max Mel and his wacky all-star movie
A man with bushy greyish hair flying all round his head, mumbling out conspiracy theories, possibly drunk or just really really looking drunk, and heavily tanned as though he’s slept outside for the last three decades … has a new movie! The Lord H…
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