Mary of Nazareth was a street walker - dear Christ!

Funny story written by Jake de Fake

Saturday, 8 July 2023

image for Mary of Nazareth was a street walker - dear Christ!
"Lier! My Lord Satan wasn't your pimp," says demon.

Satanic News: Mary divorced her husband Joseph of Nazareth when she caught him in bed with another man. That's when she decided to became a prostitute in the early stage of her son's life when he was nine years old.

She abandoned her son Jesus and joined a Jerusalem brothel called "The Marching Witches." They were known to travel from village to village after a village was drained of money.

"Right from the start when I started my new life it was like sucking on a sweet orange, then I decided to make the best orange juice ever, specializing in every imaginable trick," she continues, "I also lured in more customers by working as a lesbian prostitute helping wrinkled old women," says Mary.

Mary even claimed that people brought their dogs and horses to get treated- she said it was bats in the belfry!

"I had a pet frog once who passed away," says Mary. My grandmother, who drank heavily, couldn't tell me why my frog croaked. The official explanation is that it "jumped to the other side."

At the age of 67, Mary quit the business. On occasions, she practiced her hand job technique with younger men.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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