Old Angus McGuiness was absolutely convinced he was he was having the initial signs of a stroke, but with help from a keen 911 operator, he was found to be OK over the phone.
"I called 911 because all the words on the television screen were completely jumbled up—and I couldn't make any sense of them," tells 89 year old McGuiness, "Even with my good glasses on."
"Indeed, the caller thought he was having a stroke," explained the 911 operator who answered Mr. McGuiness' call. "So, I asked him to read out some of the words on the telly that were making him think he was having a stroke. Turns out, he was reading the leader board of a women's professional golf tournament."
"All those Asian names," explained a bewildered Angus, "really flipped the ole haggis ball in my cranium."
Indeed, Mr. McGuiness had never watched women's golf before and thought it might help him drop off to sleep in his favorite chair, due to a back spasm that kept him from making it upstairs to bed.
The dispatcher, being a fan of women's golf, was praised by her manager for knowing that the words Mr. McGuiness was reading from his TV were all names of Asian players, taking the first full 25 positions in the U.S. golf tournament.
"Then, the caller got down to position number 26 in the tournament, and it was Brooke Henderson," the dispatcher told. "Oh boy, was he ever happy to see a name that made any sort of sense to him. He had a real moment, knowing he was going to be able live a normal life.
"Wow," said Mr. McGuiness, when asked of that euphoric realization with the young dispatcher. "Who the hell knew Asian women were so damn good at golf?! You know, golf was invented right here in Scotland. The ball used to be made out of leather. Ye know that?"
