Walmart is proud to announce that they are the first retail chain in the USA to carry the new, amazing Britney Spears Reusable Tampons.
According to New Products Institute spokeswoman Paula Muskogee, the new reusable tampons are the greatest thing to come along in the field of female personal hygiene since Intra Uterine Devices (IUD's). Although...if you have the latter, you rarely need the former, so, it's a close call.
The new tampons were tested out in test markets in Milwaukee, Tulsa, Walla Walla, Tijuana, La Brea, and Poughkeepsie. (Don't you feel better informed now?)
Miss Muskogee, 29, who is currently in the process of getting divorced, stated that the new Britney Spears Reusable Tampons had a 99.9993 approval rating. However, she also reviewed a MAGA cap on Amazon and gave it a similarly glowing appraisal.
SIDENOTE: The new 'Tampies,' as they are called out on the Left Coast come in 16 beautiful designer colors including Citrus Orange, Perky Pink, Lascivious Lavender, and Fire Engine Red, a color which is quite unique for the obvious reason. Britney LOVES fire trucks!
