The Swedes are burning books again … and I must take serious issue with this issue!
Sure, one could say that any god who worries Him- or Itself over the burning of His book is no god at all. Aren’t gods bigger than their holy books? Apparently not, for some. (Ah, remember the old days of Giordano Bruno and Galileo Galilei when going against Doctrine sent flames licking at your toes? Where’s a medieval Pope when you really need one?)
But I must say! I must say indeed! There are much better books to burn!
How about the collected works of James Patterson? Ever read Jane Austen? Burn her! Essentially, if you burn every mass market paperback on the bestseller list, you’ll make the world a better place. In five years, will anyone remember your book? If the answer is no – BURN! (Will there ever come a time when no one has ever heard the name Harry Potter? I wait and wait and wait …)
Danielle Steele? Well, the list goes ever on.
How about this to keep the home fires burning:
Burn every single bloody book written by a celebrity, a politician, a Harry and/or Meghan, a sports star, a podcast dipshit with horrific views, and of course, every pastor, preacher and Pope … burn those books!
I don’t ask this with a flavor of fascism on my tongue … I do this in the name of good taste.
Remember Jewel? I think she had a hit once. One hit wonder. In the 90s was it? Whatever, she kinda went the way of Tiffany and Dexys Midnight Runners (with a three-pronged name like that, they should’ve made it!)
Anyway, so Jewel wrote a song and everybody liked it for a summer, then she was quickly forgotten. But she had gained the street cred (if you will) to go to any large publisher and demand a contract to publish her … poetry.
Ugh! Fie upon all poetry! S’wounds!
And so now the world has a very slim volume of Jewel’s poetry that we must all deal with. I haven’t read it, but I’m sure its Nobel Prize worthy. (She also has a coloring book! Just like Cannibal Corpse and Black Sabbath!)
For now, Jewel’s tome sits on the back of my toilet, and I’ve already torn out three pages since that breakfast burrito was coming out hot and fast and was taking no prisoners. Well, except for Jewell’s mad rhymes.
Burn shit like that for a while. How many Jewel fans are left, like, three? They wouldn’t be able to burn down a Swedish embassy.
I’ll say it again: religion makes people violent and crazy. It’s a fucking book! You would murder for a book? You must be sane and holy, just like all the gods that are now or ever were … so many dead gods and their books filling landfills.
I think Jewell has a poem about that.
