The Daily Dirt is reporting that Madonna the 'has been' singer recently told reporter Stormy Coin that she can no longer hit the high notes so she is going to have to hang up her microphone.
Madonna whose real name is Madonna Louise Pepperonia Ciccone is 64, but her hair stylist and gynecologist both agree that she looks 84.
Her gynecologist Dr. Luigi Parmesan, noted that she has recently developed an inverted belly button as well as in inverted cervix.
She also now has cellulite on her tongue, stretch marks on some of her teeth, and a clitoris that is the size of a soccer ball.
Finding panties to fit is a real struggle for the dear old girl.
SIDENOTE: Madonna is currently writing her autobiography titled, "I Regret Letting My Sarcasm, My Arrogance, and My Filty-Ass Mouth Cause Me To End Up In The Sewer."