There were 161 spoof news stories published in June 2015. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Teddy Bears Protest Planned Closing of FAO Schwarz
Even for New Yorkers who think they've seen it all, this was a unique sighting! Yesterday on Fifth Avenue in NYC, a large group of teddy bears protested the planned July closing of the world-famous toy store FAO Schwarz. The bears staged the prote...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Plan Surprise Party for Outgoing CEO
Don't be angry if your tweets are slightly delayed over the next few days. It's all for a good cause. You see, the birdies are busy preparing for the surprise party they are throwing for the CEO of Twitter, who is leaving his post as of July 1.
Read full storyVoters to Choose Face for Front of $10 Bill
Now that Alexander Hamilton is being booted from the front of the $10 bill, the competition is heating up among leading female candidates to replace him. The finalists have been announced by the Treasury Department, and voting by U.S. citizens ha...
Read full storyAlexander ($10 Bill) Hamilton Holds Press Confernce in NYC
Sure he's dead, but that didn't stop him from appearing before a huge crowd in Times Square yesterday to complain about the Treasury Department's plans to boot him from the front of the $10 bill. "It's an outrage," he told the crowd, continuing, "...
Read full storyBlack Cat Who Successfully Sued Owner For Not Recognizing Him As A White Dog Killed
A black cat named 'Mike', who successfully sued his former owner for not recognizing that he is in fact a white dog trapped inside the wrong body with the wrong colored skin, has died. The law suit, which was filed last week in Fort Lauderdale, Fl...
Read full storyFIFA Scandal: Jack Warner Reveals Everything
Former Fifa vice-president Jack Warner has revealed himself on live TV causing a massive electricty surge in the tiny nation of Trinidad and Tobago. Mr Warner, who said he feared for his life, also said he could link Fifa officials to the German i...
Read full story2010 World Cup To Be Replayed
The 2010 FIFA World Cup, originally played in South Africa, is to be replayed next week in the United State after the country admitted paying Fifa $10m to host the 2010 tournament. "It's only fair," said one man, just days after FIFA President S...
Read full storyOops! I'm Running Again (for Rick Perry)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Oops! I'm running again You'd better believe I'm in this to win Oh baby It might seem like a rush But you know I'm serious 'Cause I grew up in Texas Where you know we hate taxes. Oh baby, baby Oops, I'm running again I played with your heart and refused Medicaid Oh baby, baby Oops, you know that I'm real That I'm sent from a...
Read full storyIt's Just A Man In A Dress Says Old Lady
89 Year old Betty Jenkins, from Savannah Georgia, says she is completely befuddled by the hype surrounding so called "courageous hero" Bruce Jenner and his alter ego Caitlyn Jenner. "It's a man in a dress, with a wig, dollops of make up in an imag...
Read full storyKnickerless, Courtney Love Cobain, caught up in Paris protests!
Widow of Kurt Cobain, Courtney Love (Who?) has made headlines by being in the wrong place at the right time! Parisian taxi drivers are protesting and blocking off all roads to French major airports because an American company is muscling in on th...
Read full storyResearch suggests parasite may be responsible for religious belief
CALIFORNIA - In 2012, the Czech evolutionary biologist Jaroslav Flegr made headlines for his claim that the parasite Toxoplasma gondii was influencing the way we think and behave. Since the publication, researchers of the Stanley Medical Research...
Read full storyBrian Williams recants his lie about his service record
Today is a momentous day for NBC. Brian Williams, one of our reporters and the anchor of "NBC Nightly News," who lied about his role and experience covering events in the field, and admitted lying, has now admitted that he lied about lying. "It wa...
Read full storyCenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (1/2)
A recent "virulent" rant by Cenk Uygur has gone "viral" on Youtube... Oh, crap. Mere semantics again, isn't it? Anyways, have a look at this transcript. Responses on a snail-card please. Well, yeah, why not? After all highly eloquent and intellectually satisfying responses from Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin have already appeared... So don't be last in the race to the bottom. Still, wh...
Read full storyNUS bans Holocaust Commemoration at UK Unis
Notable Champagne-Humanitarian-Edgy-Rhetorical-Club, the NUS (National-Kropotkinite Union of Sympathisers) have taken advantage of the post-exam lull by sneaking in a typically creative and imaginative motion. The motion was passed by 19 votes to...
Read full storyNew study finds that ties are pointless, dangerous
A study released this week by the Michigan Institute of Technology's School of Clothing and Clothes-Wearers has found that ties serve no purpose at all. The study is the result of six years' research, and an estimated $42 million in public funding.
Read full storyBDSM Campaign Trojan Horse for Fetishists, NOT Anti-Semites
It is said that for some, the anti-Israel BDSM campaign represents a golden opportunity for antisemites to hide their bigotry and hatred under a cloak of respectability. But others consider the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions Movement to be an absolute godsend (well, more like Marxsend, Trotsend, Chomskend, whatever)… To wit, an easy and ethically unproblematic opportunity to show one's u...
Read full storyRush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"
Rush Limbaugh has turned over a new leaf and has started criticizing Republican candidates. Hey, that's a good thing, right? Well... maybe. Depends on how you look at it. After all, "Truth is what works," as one famous American famously said. Recently, on his viral (or at least highly virulent) radio show, "Rush the Magic White Boy," sinister allegations started circulating about Ted...
Read full storyTrees watch the Happening, and decide to "at least make allergy season sucky this year."
After watching the perennially criticized M. Knight Shayamalan film "The Happening" trees have been attempting to replicate the effects on humans from the movie, but thus far have only gotten some people to sneeze and cough a lot. Mountain cedar...
Read full storyApple to Introduce Slew of Wearable Technology Products Next Year
CUPERTINO, CA - Apple Inc. CEO, Tim Cook, announced today that they would introduce several new wearable technology products in Spring of 2016. Products will be available for both men and women. Men's products will include: iShoes, iSocks, iPants,...
Read full storyTorture, the Chinese secret police way
There I was minding my own business, visiting at the Museum of the Peoples Republic, and while I was looking over a pair of rare FooManChu chop sticks, I was grabbed from and anesthetized by a whiff of Olong Tea. I awoke, groggy, my hands tied, my...
Read full storyAloof Dog Owner Shakes on Insidious Business Deal with Roxie
Laura Preston of Old Oak, Missouri, had no idea what soul-crushing deal she would be solidifying when she prompted six-year-old retriever, Roxie, for a paw last Friday night. "I always ask Roxie to shake before I take out the dry food," said Prest...
Read full storyCenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (2/2)
The epic continues. Well hey... listen up. I'm gonna make you a deal. I'm not gonna tell you, you can't have that burger. I mean, hey... this is America, it's a free country! Well, technically it's not, but you know what I mean... Well, every time you eat a burger, just remember that the people... Sorry, the evil, unaccountable, impersonal, soulless corporations who eat burgers ar...
Read full storyJapanese Firm Markets Robot Companion
Japanese manufacturing firm Titsandass Inc. shipped their latest model of humanoid robots to malls in Tokyo and Hiroshima where depraved customers waited in long lines to purchase the sensational new product. Ostensibly billed as a household compa...
Read full storyOpen Letter to Earthlings from Ceres
Greetings, Citizens of Planet Earth, We are Plafvizjian, Ruler of the Planet you know as Ceres. We have for many of your planetary cycles been waging war on you, a war that will last many, many more of your planetary cycles if you do not surrender immediately. Now that you have discovered our once-secret cache of your most vital tools, we are certain you will want to negotiate for their safe re...
Read full storyAn unholy terror goes on casino tear, gets an inventory of criminal charges, but is reinstated as an NHL analyst after rehab
The Arizona Coyotes have reinstalled Nick Boynton as the team's radio analyst. Boynton was suspended by the NHL team after he was charged with assault, disorderly conduct, harassment, resisting arrest, criminal mischief, and obstruction of government...
Read full storyTo Appear on Paper Money - Elvis, Goofy and Sequoia Trees?
WASHINGTON, DC-In an attempt to honor the diversity of the United States' ethnic groups and to increase paper currency in circulation, the United States Department of the Treasury plans to put portraits of famous Americans on its currency. Taking...
Read full storyLAPD Prepared With 500 Mile Roll of Yellow 'Police Line - Do Not Cross' Tape
Los Angeles, CA - Police Chief for the LAPD, Billy Clubemhard, said that they were nearly done rolling up a massive 500 mile roll of 'POLICE LINE - DO NOT CROSS' tape, for when Los Angeles inevitably becomes a giant cesspool of squalor so uninhabitab...
Read full storyStudy finds that everything you do is "killing you"
A recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine has concluded that every activity you perform brings you one step closer to death. DR David Katz published an article that suggests that nobody has really discovered the perfect healt...
Read full storyJeb! _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President
MIAMI, FL-John Ellis "Jeb" _______, brother of George W. ______, son of George H. W. ______, and the grandson of Senator Prescott S. ________, today announced that he would run for president of the United States because, he boomed, "I'm running becau...
Read full storyCongress to ban curb-stomping black men while yelling "white power"
Following a tireless debate last night, congress has begun work drafting a new bill that seeks to stop white men from kicking the back of a goddamn coon's head and shattering his teeth whilst proclaiming the sanctity of the white bloodline. The bi...
Read full storyClimate Change Deniers Deny Denying the Existence of Climate Change
After a non stop barrage of natural disasters has made climate change deniers look like ninnies, several high profile culprits have started changing their tunes. Although, not everyone is ready to completely commit to the problem. Jim DeMint, Pre...
Read full storySupreme Court Ruling Heats Up Climate Change Debate
The Supreme Court ruled in the case of Gore vs. Bush that climate change, specifically CO2 emissions, falls under the definition of terrorism. The ruling has caused many republicans and democrats to change their opinion about the issue. John McCain w...
Read full storyBrave Holiday Makers Defy Terrorists by Continuing to Sip Cocktails by the Pool.
In the global War Against Terrorism, there are one group of combatants that refuse to give in to the Islamic Extremists who threaten to destroy their way of life: The British Holiday Maker. With the latest tragedy in Tunisia, where 18 British sun...
Read full storyBush & Brother In Secret Death Cult
After exhaustive research I have discovered that many prominent American politicians, leaders, and officials belong to a secret society called "Keres." In ancient Greece, violent death was the domain of Thanatos (god of death) and the blood-craving s...
Read full storyThrowing own faeces found out to be number one way to getting served at bar first
Studies at the University of Central Lancashire have found that throwing your own faeces and waste at bar staff is the number one way to getting served first in a bar or restaurant. The research found the tactic, which is employed by some angry...
Read full storyPessimistic Beverage Packaging Company Begins Manufacturing Aluminum "Can'ts"
No longer willing to ignore the stark reality of environmental degradation, global poverty, and deteriorating human health, pessimistic beverage packing company Canned Dreams, Inc., recently announced the launch of a new product line, known as the al...
Read full story"Law and Order" Hoover Institute Frames Ed Balls Re: Election Riots
The achingly-TECHNICALLY-NOT-NEO-CON!!! Hoover Institute has been facing, not so much a funding crisis, (hell no!) as a trolling crisis. Yup! By now, millions of still-benighted citizens of the Global Village wildly insinuate that they have finally sussed out what's going on… Aye, a wicked legion of notoriously disingenuous and cynical conspiracy theorists now wantonly assert that the Hoov...
Read full storyCaitlyn Jenner Now Selling Reversible Bracelet: WWCD-WWBD
BILLINGSGATE POST: Whether you wish to call him by his baptized name, Bruce, or by her Irish name, Caitlyn, be assured that Jenner will profit from it. After his revealing pose on the cover of Vanity Fair, for which he received untold millions, Je...
Read full storyRecrudescence of political claptrap in 2015 presidential election
Once again, Americans are treated to a display of obscene self-promotion of egomaniacal proportion only fusing the personalities of P.T. Barnum, Madonna, Kim Kardashian, Kim Jong Un, and Idi Amin Dada could match. "The Donald;" oh you remember him -...
Read full storyTexas to make Blasphemy a Capital Offense
AUSTIN (Kitteh Network News) After a weekend full of harsh criticism on the internet for advising state employees to ignore the Supreme Court ruling in favor of marriage equality, Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton wasted no time in...
Read full storyInnocent gay teens exposed to sleazy side of mainstream
"It started with that bottle of tequila" says Danny, jumping as his new husband unexpectedly puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. Danny is an 18 year old fine arts major at Northeastern University, here in Vegas with his Boston posse for the weekend. We find him dressed to kill in a slimming sheer black tank top and extra-short shorts, exiting The Love-Shack Temple of Love on the arm of a ta...
Read full storyBill Gates Announces His 2016 Presidential Campaign
Redmond, WA-Microsoft tycoon Bill Gates plans to make everyone connected to his software, his internet providers, his self-driving vehicles "if and when" he is elected President of the United States, Gates announced in launching his 2016 presidential...
Read full storyDzhokhar Tsarnaev - The Bob Dylan Years
Boston, MA - During the formal sentencing phase of Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokar Tsarnaev, a courtroom full of weeping families and victims of the tragedy finally heard from the mass murderer who had shattered their lives, two long years ago. Be...
Read full storySpace Station will run out of toilet paper in five days as SpaceX rocket bombs on takeoff
Cape Canaveral, Florida - Disaster has struck a supply ship servicing the International Space Station completely destroying the vital payload that included one year's supply of toilet rolls. Elon Musk's SpaceX rocket exploded on liftoff vaporisin...
Read full storyStar Trek Society President "Not Vulcan"
The President of the New Hampshire Star Trek Society has come under fire today after his parents claimed that he was not in any way a Vulcan. The parents of Solek claimed that he is actually a fully human man named Stephen Greyson who only starte...
Read full storyLeft Wing Liberal Nuts Go On A Run For The Ages!
Washington, D.C - How do you cap off a Democratic Presidency that seems to have gotten almost nothing done for nearly eight long years? Well, a good way to start is to gather all the whack job liberals you can find after a really gruesome, racially m...
Read full storyAn Interview With Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know that he is already dead...)
An Interview With Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know that he is already dead.....) ...but we aren't going to let that stop us.... The Spoof has gained the unique opportunity to interview the infamous terrorist Osama bin Laden, the instigator of the 911 attacks on the U.S. Reaching him at his present location in Purgatory, we were able to have the following conversation with him - Rfreed - Good...
Read full storyAmerican Pharoah's Jockey Also Commands A Huge Stud Fee! (Comparatively Speaking)
Dallas, TX - Triple Crown winning horsie, American Pharoah, is reportedly getting a record-setting stud fee of over three million dollars from other mega-rich horse breeders, to jam its giant horse dong into their fillies, in an effort to produce the...
Read full storyApproval of Female Viagra to Spawn Gas-Powered Vibrator Industry
The FDA's recent approval of Filbanserin, dubbed "female Viagra is expected to create a new line of products: Gas-powered vibrators. There has been much controversy around the drug, stemming from the fact that hypoactive sexual desire disorder, th...
Read full storySuper Duper Trooper Terrorizes African-American teens at a swimming pool party in Tex-Ass
McKINNEY, Texas - A mean-spirited, psychopathic cop in Texas terrorized black teens at a swimming pool party and then posted the video of his brutalizing meltdown to his own YouTube account, dubbing the video a training video. All I can say is WEL...
Read full storyFiscal crisis forces Greece to change the national punchline
Athens -- One of the world's most beloved pieces of comedy is about to be irreparably changed, the result of Greece's monetary woes. The proper response to the classic riddle -- What's a Greek urn? -- Is no longer "about €35 an hour." The punch...
Read full storyLindey Graham says Confedereate flag is who we are: slave owners
South Carolina state capitol building Interview of Senator Lindsey Graham by Bret Fincher "Senator Graham," Fincher asked, reading from his legal pad, "it is my understanding that you don't want to remove the Confederate Flag." "Yes sir, I mean no sir," the senator mumbled his right hand saluting the Confederate Flag. "I," the senator continued, "got up early and raised the flag mysel...
Read full storyOde to George and Tony!
"Tony old bean, I want to blow that bastard, Hussein's head off, are you with me, and we need that damn oil, bloody Texans are drying up?" "Of course Georgie Porgie, we Brits have been licking US butts ever since you saved us from old Adolf and we don't intend to stop now!" "Tony old boy, we need to convince those useless twats over at the UN that it's necessary to remove this evil buggar, s...
Read full storyThe Dark Side of Premium Blenders
Washington DC: The FBI has stated that it will begin to track sales of all premium home blender purchases, but the public will not be inconvinced in any way. Special Agent Martin Hanes stated that, "We're openly letting the public know this for the p...
Read full storyLittlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (2/2)
Last time, Richard Littlejohn boldly and courageously vindicated the honour of some boring, dusty Athenian smart-arse that nobody gives a crap about. Nope! I don't mean that postmodern ivory tower casino economics dude from Syriza, but if the cap fits… Oh wait, that was a bit stereotypically "right-wing" wasn't it? Must be catching, huh? Yes, in my last column, I was long-windedly holding...
Read full storyTwo old frauds in TV junk science love-in
Washington - The President of the United Snakes of America and a Brit Reality TV con artist famous for faking the Beeb's wildlife documentaries have appeared in a televised White House junk science rant. Barack Obama and ageing UK naturalist (sic...
Read full storyThe Queen to be buried under Reichstag beer tent
Germany - A three day state visit to Sauerkrautland kicks off on Wednesday with a Bavarian beer drinking contest between Chancellor Angela Merkel and Queen Elizardbirth von Battenberg. Later the women are due to take part in a traditional bratwur...
Read full storyA Modest Proposal for UN Peacekeeper Babies
"Peacekeeper Babies" have long been a thorn in the side of the United Nations. It is an unfair expectation that the men serving these impoverished nations should be expected not to exploit the very people they are there to help. In an effort to p...
Read full storyHillary's Cigar Revenge!
An insider from the Hillary Clinton Presidency campaign has claimed that the first thing Hillary plans to do on winning the oval office is to have sex with a campaign aid on the desk and then stuff a cigar up his bottom. Democrat sources were quic...
Read full storyModel prayer for all occasions discovered in Kansas
The Green Cathedral, Harrisburg, Kansas The Honorable Crowley Smitherson, asst. Minister From the Pulpit, Dear Friends, We've all had to enter the new modern age and leave behind some cherished ideas. One is prayer. We aren't giving up on prayer yet. But, in the interim, we are standardizing the prayers we use. We have decided to eliminate all prayers in favor of one brief, standardized...
Read full storySouth Carolina Agrees To Take Down Flags - And Nooses!
Chawlstun, South Carolina - Finally, change is a' brewin' in South Carolina this week, in the wake of the tragic slayings which left nine black church-goers dead at the hands of a young white supremacist. Now, feeling the heat for arguably being the...
Read full storyPythagoras leaves Greek cave! He can't afford the rent!
Greek philosopher, Pythagoras, is being forced out of his cave on Samos because he cannot afford the rent although he's been dead for roughly 2500 thousand years! Greece is in such financial turmoil and authorities on the wonderful island decided...
Read full storyRoman rubbish dump reveals secrets of football networks
Florida - FBI forensic sleuths are probing the biggest dump ever discovered of Roman Abramovich's rubbish and related GazPogrom Bank crap. Over five tons of yacht garbage have been recovered from the oligarch's ocean-going runabout in an operatio...
Read full storyTexas frackers tender for Vatican's lucrative exorcism, relic-selling and excommunications business
Irving, Texas - A hydraulic fracturing trade association is bidding to take over large parts of the Vatican's hocus pocus division after the Pope fingered the global fossil fuel industry for turning the planet into a 'pile of filth'. Executives at...
Read full storyThe truth about "possible side effects"
I just paid attention to an often aired commercial about Lyrica, discretely mentioning a bunch of horrible side affects, one being skin sores. I had a vision of these sores appearing on a users face and the poor person chasing after people yelling, Stop, I don't have leprosy! I'm just taking a drug for diabetic pain! I swear the drug commercials have some powerful subliminal mind control go...
Read full storyPGA Won't Let Tiger Use His Dick As Putter
Dublin, Ohio - The day after shooting the worst round in his illustrious golfing career, an 85, at Jack Nicklaus's Memorial Tourny, Tiger Woods' caddie told our man on the scene, Chip Fairway, that his boss's mental frustrations on the course all ste...
Read full storySepp Blatter wins Nobel Prize for Obliviousness
Amid a whirlwind of allegations against FIFA, the world football authority, its Secretary-General received a rare piece of good news. In a private ceremony held earlier today, Sepp Blatter was awarded the 2015 Nobel Prize for Obliviousness. The a...
Read full storyChris Christie Announces Candidacy At A Very Sore Spot
Livingston, NJ - On Tuesday, infamous New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, finally announced to America that he will indeed be running for the highest office in the land - and he did it underneath the football goal that was once the site of the bigge...
Read full storyNAACP's Rachel Dolezal & John Boehner To Open A Chain Of Tanning Salons!
Washington, DC - Disgraced NAACP leader, Rachel Dolezal, who was fired last month for being a secret whitey, didn't take long to get her life heading in a newish direction. It turns out that she quickly found an equally-minded friend in John Boehner,...
Read full storyRecent Grad Brimming With Hope
New York, NY - Ignoring both the turbulent state of the American economy and gentle nudging from her parents to apply for barista jobs, recent university graduate Sophie Hartman was reportedly still optimistic about finding an editorial internship i...
Read full storyLindsey Graham wants Caitlyn Jenner's vote
Republican Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican Presidential Candidate, stated today, in front of a crowd of 3, that he wants Caitlyn Jenner's vote. Though he's a conservative, he has found it difficult because of his weird political stands, to attr...
Read full storyMath Whiz Nash Should Have Known The End Was Near
Boston, MA - Rhode Scholars and fellow mathematician dorks around the globe, all agree that Professor John Nash, the Nobel Prize winning math genius, and subject of the Oscar winning film, 'A Beautiful Mind,' should have easily figured out that he w...
Read full storyChief Justice Caitlyn Roberts Receives Key To Women's Restroom of Supreme Court
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a stunning development, Chief Justice John Roberts changed his name to Caitlyn Roberts, thereby joining Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan as custodians of keys to the women's restroom of the Supreme C...
Read full storyDonald Trump Proposes New $1 Billion Dollar Bill
NEW YORK, NY - U.S. Presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, announced today that if elected President, he will direct the U.S. Treasury Secretary to print a new $1,000,000,000 dollar bill. In an effort to streamline the federal government, Trump also...
Read full storyThe Second Coming (for the Grand Obsolescent Party)
(With apologies to William Butler Yeats) Churning and churning in the miasmic mire The Tea Party cannot stand the Moderates; Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the GOP; The Wing-nut tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of common sense is drowned; The best lack all compassion, while the worst Are full of fanatic in...
Read full storyPhilae Comet Lander transmits pics of International Space Station astronauts taking a slash
Space - A long range camera fixed to the Rosetta craft's Philae Lander has snapped Buzz Aldrin on board the ISS taking a surreptitious dump. NASA's famous spaceman and his pal Neil Armstrong were captured peeing out of the ISS saloon bar porthole...
Read full storyObama Victim Of Hate Crime
President Barak Obama was viciously attacked and beaten to within an inch of his life by an angry throng of white supremacists who shouted racial slurs while punching, kicking, and spitting slathered wads of chewing tobacco in his face. The mob of...
Read full storyBanished - A Short Story
The warm rays of the sun pleasantly woke the two. Eve had rested well, her mind in a state of exhilaration with her discovery of the "headache powder" power over Adam she could exercise at will. Adam, on the other hand, did not sleep well due to this same power. Eve looked forward to the adventures the day would bring, while Adam looked forward to the adventures the night might bring. Eve suggeste...
Read full story'What Would You Do?' TV Show In Trouble With Animal Rights Group
New York, NY - ABC's hit television show, 'What Would You Do?' has enjoyed years of ratings success by setting up awkward hidden-camera scenes in public, to see how the masses of humanity would react. Usually, the show likes to shed light on bullying...
Read full storyNew Snowdon Leak Reveals Secret Plot
CIA turncoat and American hero Edward Snowden sent a fresh batch of classified files to major news outlets that contain sensitive intelligence about yet another diabolical government conspiracy. The unredacted documents describe the top secret plo...
Read full storyOral sex banned again at Druids' upcoming Tooting Bec Lido solstice romp
Tooting, London - Authorities have renewed a banning order on oral sex in pubic places at this Sunday's annual summer solstice orgy. Festivities planned by Ye Ancient Order Of Bards And Hos were due to take place at Tooting Bec Lido, a swimming p...
Read full storyPrince William's rowdy university buddy Gaz turns up at door, spends night on couch
Prince William and Kate Middleton had an unexpected visitor to Buckingham Palace when William's old university drinking buddy Gaz turned up at the front door asking to stay for a bit with them. William's old friend Gaz had been on a night out in Lon...
Read full storyCurse of Tutankhamun haunts American Pharoah's Triple Crown bid
Elmont, NY - Punters are being warned off betting in Sautrday's renewal of the Belmont Stakes amid reports that an ancient Egyptian hex is stalking dual classic winner American Pharoah. The 3/5 favorite is bidding to break the 37 year hoodoo affec...
Read full storyThe Spoof encrypts its news website
Cyberspace - Online satire publisher The Spoof has begun encrypting bits of its website to make it harder for hackers and cyber spies to monitor the stories its readers are enjoying. "We want our users to feel real secure," the virtual Editor exp...
Read full storyTwitter declares itself mad!
Social media giant, Twitter, has declared itself insane and several white vans driven by men with straight jackets in their hands (difficult that) were seen entering their HQ in Silicone Valley! The reason for this astonishing declaration is obvio...
Read full storyRecycled Waste Water Solves Drought Problem
California Governor Jerry Brown ended the state of emergency conditions caused by the long drought that has ravaged the Golden State for years. Mr. Brown took credit for assembling a team of top tier scientists from Stanford and Berkeley who develope...
Read full storyRicketts Premeditates State Executions
Lincoln, Nebraska - Despite the fact that Governor Pete Ricketts' veto to repeal the death penalty was overridden by Nebraskan State Senators, Ricketts has promised to continue with executions. In his first attempt, he made a deal with an undergr...
Read full storyThe News (Really) Bytes - June 2015
A round-up of the news from online and social media - June 2015 Jeb Bush announces candidacy for President - The head political office of the U.S. is now going back to the Bush Leagues. Rachel Dolezal, a white person, pretended to be black and became head of the Spokane Washington NAACP and now has stepped down making true the statement "Once you go black you hate to go back". Hurricane B...
Read full storyFIFA scandal spreads to Games body
New York - The Games Body, official body of international summer and winter athletics events, may be tainted with the same crap as footie's FIFA scandal according to unreliable sources at QM-NewsCorpse. Latest reports are describing the same of cu...
Read full storyWoman Casually Gives Birth in Restaurant
Tamara Rodriguez knew she could go into labor at any moment; but that wasn't about to keep her away from the glamorous Female Leadership in Real Estate Award gala at a fancy banquet hall in Los Angeles last Tuesday. Having seven children at home with...
Read full storyUn-aired Original Series Star Trek Discovered! The True Origin Of Subsequent Series Revealed!
A long lost Kirk/Spock vintage Star Trek episode that never aired has turned up in a forgotten vault at Paramount Studios. "The Deflowering" was a 1967 show featuring all the beloved and famous characters who made the show such an unforgettable sci-...
Read full storyEscaped NY Prisoner Shot And Killed Only A Few Miles From Certain Freedom - Canada!
Malone, NY - New York Police shot and killed one of the two escaped murderers from the Clinton Correctional Facility, Richard Matt, on Friday, only a few miles from the Canadian border - which would have surely been the end of the trail for all polic...
Read full storyCalais bans truckers from smuggling immigrants!
The port authorities at Calais have banned truckers from picking up thousands of illegal immigrants breaking into their trucks! One French copper gave this astonishing interview to Jaggedone's CIA special immigrant reporter, Messieur Jean-Claude...
Read full storyLittlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (1/2)
Pulp fiction bohemian, notable public figure, economic migrant and Daily Mail man of letters Richard Littlejohn has recently written and provided a measured and balanced response™... To Operation Yewtree's relentless persecution of countless dead white men (and the occasional dead non-white person). The loony lefty Operation Yewtree campaign has been off the news for months, but it pro...
Read full storyDiscarded flea-ridden mattress trend sweeps through Dalston, East London
Demand for old mattresses "full of fleas" has soared in recent months in the infamously hipster Dalston district in northeast London. Imported from north Manchester, the increasingly expensive showpiece is now regularly seen on balconies throughout t...
Read full storyMan found not running for presidency
This morning a man dressed in blue denims, a white shirt, and tan loafers, found on the street leaning on a Porto-potty, was taken off to jail for a bail hearing. Earliest reports indicated that this man--his name is believed to be Bret Holman--wa...
Read full storyPrince Philip succumbs to mad cow disease
London - A trail of steaming cow pats around Buckingham Palace has been traced to Prince Philip on his 94th birthday. The bonkers consort of Elizardbirth Vagina has long been suspected of disseminating bovine spongiform encephalitis and other farm...
Read full storyCalifornia Raisin wins lawsuit
Today a raisin was handed a terrific victory. Accused of over-shriveling, the raisin known as "Mongo" denied the claim by Mary Higobothman. Mary claims to have bought dark raisins that were of smooth skin. Mary, according to herself, took all t...
Read full storyNorthern Irish Politician Resigns with a Vengeance
One of Northern Ireland's leading spokesmen, Belfast SDLP Councillor Finbar Fury last night confessed all after his sacking as Director of the Northern Ireland Arts Council. ' In an interview with UR-FUKD magazine at the Europa Hotel in Belfast,...
Read full storyCaitlyn Jenner Blasts Rachel Dolezal for Pretending to Be Someone Else
CALABASAS, CA - Caitlyn Jenner, previously known as Bruce Jenner, lambasted Rachel Dolezal for pretending to be someone else. Dolezal came to media attention when her white parents publicly stated that Dolezal is a white woman posing as black NAAC...
Read full storySpanish village called "Fortress Kill Jews" changes name to "Nunca mas Palestinia"!
A thorn of contention amongst Jewish inhabitants in a tiny Spanish village called Castrillo Matajudíos, translation, "Fortress Kill Jews" has been solved by asking people to offer more suitable names. However, this caused an international scandal...
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