Supreme Court Ruling Heats Up Climate Change Debate

Funny story written by Sigmund Von Schaefer

Monday, 22 June 2015

The Supreme Court ruled in the case of Gore vs. Bush that climate change, specifically CO2 emissions, falls under the definition of terrorism. The ruling has caused many republicans and democrats to change their opinion about the issue. John McCain weighed in on the ruling on Monday. "Finally!" he said with a sigh of relief, "A worthy opponent... I was getting tired of this Mickey Mouse stuff. An enemy we can't see, taste or smell? Now we will have a real war. I don't care how many tanks, bombs and fighter jets it takes. We will win this war...."

Ted Cruz found the ruling invigorating. "Climate change thinks it can cross our borders, clog up our highways with smog and we won't do anything about it? I will personally deport any unregistered CO2 I can get my hands on and send it back to China where it belongs!"

Dick Durbin was vehemently against the ruling stating,"We have given climate change so much... Now it is time for climate change to stand and defend itself."

Larissa Waters had a similar tone, "The Supreme Court's decision should not be listened to. The scientific evidence is just not there to support this claim. I know it, the general public knows it, even the Pope knows it."

President Obama has a press conference scheduled for this evening where he is expected to state that this is not the type of change he was hoping for.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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