FIFA Scandal: Jack Warner Reveals Everything

Written by D P Whitehead

Thursday, 4 June 2015

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A young Jack Warner before he became an 'alleged' thief

Former Fifa vice-president Jack Warner has revealed himself on live TV causing a massive electricty surge in the tiny nation of Trinidad and Tobago.

Mr Warner, who said he feared for his life, also said he could link Fifa officials to the German invasion of Poland in 1939, the murder of JFK and the attacks on the World Trade Center in 2001.

He is one of the 14 people charged by the US over alleged corruption at Fifa.

Another top Fifa official and key witness, American Chuck Blazer, has admitted accepting bribes, but will not expose himself on live television.

Warner, who stripped naked and then took his teeny tiny penis and waved it around, said that now he has revealed everything he hopes everyone will just leave him alone.

"I will no longer keep secrets for them who actively seek to destroy the country," he said in an address on Trinidadian TV on Wednesday evening entitled "The underpants are off".

Speaking to his supporters at a rally later the same day, he promised an "avalanche" of nudity and nakedness and promised to reveal more of his shriveled corrupt little body soon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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