President Barak Obama was viciously attacked and beaten to within an inch of his life by an angry throng of white supremacists who shouted racial slurs while punching, kicking, and spitting slathered wads of chewing tobacco in his face.
The mob of bigoted hooligans, including two agents from his personal Secret Service entourage, declared their loyalty to the confederacy and stormed the White House before dawn. A Fox news team was on the scene to join the assault to boost their ratings in Dixieland.
True to form Mr. Obama turned the other cheek and became a truly lame duck president.
