Lindsey Graham wants Caitlyn Jenner's vote

Written by Martin Jaeger

Sunday, 7 June 2015

Republican Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican Presidential Candidate, stated today, in front of a crowd of 3, that he wants Caitlyn Jenner's vote.

Though he's a conservative, he has found it difficult because of his weird political stands, to attract any votes from anyone.

So, tomorrow, he is taking out an ad in Vanity Fair magazine imploring her to vote for him.

Responding to a reporter in the audience, Senator Graham said, "I'm carving out a niche in the American electorate. My party may not like transgendered people, but I need the votes. I can feel a ground swell."

The reporter continued asking questions about transgendered people.

"And," Senator Graham said, "I'm willing to take in other transgendered people as well. There's a lot more out there than you think. And I'm going to be first to go after them."

"Isn't this," the reporter asked, "inconsistent with your personal and long held values?"

"You're," Senator Graham replied, "damn right. I'm a 'traditional marriage kind of guy'. But I'm also a 'traditional kind of politician.' I'm in it to win, and I'll say or do anything it takes."

The reporter said,"I'm glad you're so honest about being two-faced."

"And I don't care if my voters are two-faced either, as long as they are in sync with me."

Mike Kibnick, who drove up from Valerne, said to the reporter, "I'm voting for Graham because he'snot like those other phonies."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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