Congress to ban curb-stomping black men while yelling "white power"

Funny story written by Kid_Detective

Thursday, 25 June 2015


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Following a tireless debate last night, congress has begun work drafting a new bill that seeks to stop white men from kicking the back of a goddamn coon's head and shattering his teeth whilst proclaiming the sanctity of the white bloodline.

The bill, which was suggested by a translucent, almost ghost-like MLK amidst a choir of police brutality victims, is currently being penned by South Carolina Sen. Jake Knotts's staff.

Knott spoke about the bill at a recent press conference, calling it "progressive" and "nigger-lovin'."

"Tension is at an all-time-high, and it's the least we can do to show our support." Said Knotts. "We just want everyone to know that we aren't racist."

Bill Ganks, an outspoken hate activist, was appalled at congress's decision, calling it "anti-American."

"This nation was founded on freedom," said Ganks. "And if I lose the right to gnash a gutter monkey's teeth across the pavement while I declare white superiority, what else are they gonna take from me?"

Surprisingly, Michael Rider, a youth minister and voice for the black community, came out in opposition to the bill, claiming it to be against religious practice.

"The bible is clear about the place of blacks in society," said Rider. "Under the heel of his owner as he bites the curb. It's where we've been for centuries. It's where we're comfortable."

Despite opposition, the bill is expected to take effect as soon as the sanitation department can remove the hundreds of lynched bodies from the streets.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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