Alexander ($10 Bill) Hamilton Holds Press Confernce in NYC

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Saturday, 20 June 2015

image for Alexander ($10 Bill) Hamilton Holds Press Confernce in NYC
Hamilton refuses to budge!

Sure he's dead, but that didn't stop him from appearing before a huge crowd in Times Square yesterday to complain about the Treasury Department's plans to boot him from the front of the $10 bill.

"It's an outrage," he told the crowd, continuing, "For Pete's sake, I'm a Founding Father and was the first Secretary of the Treasury. Now they want to replace my likeness with that of a woman. I've been on the front of that bill since 1928, and I don't plan to accept an eviction."

Apparently the Treasury may move Hamilton to the back of the $10 bill or find him a spot in another series of bills, but neither alternative appeals to him. "Not good enough, I won't stand for second best," he told the crowd. "No way."

Hamilton confided another argument for his remaining on the front of the bill. Patting his long, wavy hair, he said, "When I was alive, I distinctly remember at times identifying as female, so it's just not fair that I be tossed out now to be replaced by a woman."

Hamilton ended the press conference by saying that, if necessary, he would sue the government to keep his place on the $10 bill. He's sure that Alan Dershowitz or Gloria Allred would be happy to accept his case.

So there!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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