Washington, D.C - How do you cap off a Democratic Presidency that seems to have gotten almost nothing done for nearly eight long years? Well, a good way to start is to gather all the whack job liberals you can find after a really gruesome, racially motivated, mass-murder and tell a Southern State that their hillbilly flag sucks ass, and that they should finally take it down!
Then, you join the rest of the 1st World Countries, by getting your little Health Care Plan all good and finalized by the Supreme Court - forever. No do-overs!
And then, for good measure, you win the political Triple Crown, like American Pharoah,, by finally telling all the backwards states that yes, gay people are humans too, and that they can go get married in any damn state they want to, just like those two celebrity doggies did out in LA LA land last week!
Giving pause to reflect on the flurry of Left Wing accomplishments this week, most Republicans we talked to on the pot-holed streets of D.C. were dumb-founded, to say the least. But many of them still remained steadfast in their belief that Global Warming was definitely real - since there now seemed to be concrete evidence that hell had just frozen over!
-And this reporter is happy to report that he has just seen his first flying pig too!
Oh, wait a minute... nope, sorry... that's just Donald Trump in a G5, heading off to sue Mexico.