Recrudescence of political claptrap in 2015 presidential election

Funny story written by KRS

Wednesday, 17 June 2015


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Donald Trumpet

Once again, Americans are treated to a display of obscene self-promotion of egomaniacal proportion only fusing the personalities of P.T. Barnum, Madonna, Kim Kardashian, Kim Jong Un, and Idi Amin Dada could match. "The Donald;" oh you remember him - the perpetual "birther," science denying personality that declares bankruptcy as often as most people experience flatulence, is once again taking center stage (even if it is in a building prominently emblazoned with his moniker) by declaring his candidacy for the highest office in the land. Now we really are talking about "Celebrated Apprentice."

As if the Republican Party needed one more harlequin to toss his Hoss Cartwright sized hat into the ring, assuring the run to the convention becomes more like a trip to the carnival. With more marginal aspirants for the nomination than a feeder cattle lot has dung, the Republican Party is logistically challenged to position them all on one stage for a debate. Maybe the Kenyan in the Oval Office can spare the deck of an aircraft carrier. Most political junkies were thrilled by the entries of Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina, and Lindsey Graham, with the remote promise of Chris Christie. Now with Trump entering the run for the Rose Garden, we can abandon our longing for the good old days of Ross Perot's exhilarating race. I so miss those charts! "Titicut Follies" meets the "Twilight Zone" in Primetime TV and not on Comedy Central and all for an extended run. I am predicting a decline in recreational drug use in America, reaching the nadir on Tuesday, November 8th 2016.

I am personally cancelling my Hulu Plus and Netflix subscriptions - I have all the TV entertainment I can handle until November 2016, most of it on network television. I encourage savvy investors to sell many publicly traded electronic media providers short - no one will need cable for months. This panoply of preposterous pretenders will have all the sizzle and delight of the World Wrestling Federation, nude nubile virgin mud wrestling, a mixed martial arts competition, "Californication," "Baywatch" and "The Matrix" all rolled into one, without all that tiresome contemplation of serious issues. All that is lacking is 3-D, THX, and a really great soundtrack. It is so less time consuming and mentally exhausting to have American political discourse meticulously honed into TWEETS. It gives us more precious time to tune into "Are You Smarter Than A Cadaver" or "Life with Kim, Kanye, Kukla and Kaczynski" before the real games begin and we cancel our subscriptions.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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