Roman rubbish dump reveals secrets of football networks

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 4 June 2015

image for Roman rubbish dump reveals secrets of football networks
The gangster's ocean-gojng runabout Dun Frackin

Florida - FBI forensic sleuths are probing the biggest dump ever discovered of Roman Abramovich's rubbish and related GazPogrom Bank crap.

Over five tons of yacht garbage have been recovered from the oligarch's ocean-going runabout in an operation centered on moorings close to Fort Lauderdale's deep water berths.

The 69 year-old Russian mobster is known to have played a major role in the charm offensive that secured his country's 2018 World Cup bid by holding a series of lavish champagne receptions for THIEFA officials aboard Dun Frackin, his 400ft mega yacht.

This morning's recovery operation was focused on human waste and other excrement stored in the yacht's garbage tank which Abramovich regularly dumps in US coastal waters whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Armed with high-tech grappling hooks FBI divers were seen trawling the filthy waters to recover the Russian's gold-monogrammed rubbish sacks thought to contain vital evidence of god-knows-what.

Commenting on the huge operation a Federal Special Agent wearing the FBI's distinctive liveried cap and aviator sunglasses said, "Na Zdrawie, assholes!"

Chuck Blazer's colostomy bag is probably the Bureau's biggest find.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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