There were 245 spoof news stories published in January 2015. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Cellphones Announce Selfie-free Sundays
Cellphones are disgusted with the amount (too many!) and general quality (awful!) of selfies, and they want everyone to know about it. So yesterday in NYC's Times Square they held a press conference to tell the world that they had come to an impor...
Read full storyCaricature of Muhammad Ali Leads To Death Threat
A cartoon caricature of former World Heavyweight Champion Muhammad Ali which was tweeted to over seven people has led to a death threat against the tweeter in what is being seen as another attack on freedom of speech. "So what I tweeted a picture...
Read full storyAfter Two Bushes As President, "Is There Finally Going To Be Real One?", Asks Man
With Hillary Clinton looking more likely to run for President in 2016 many are celebrating that at last a real "Bush" will be in the White House. One man said "After two Bush's it is great to finally have a real Bush walking the corridors of the W...
Read full storyBusty peroxide Russian tennis ho, 23, drops dead in bolt-from-the-blue coronary
Moscow - An up-and-coming young tennis pro Violet de la Tiara Eva was found slumped dead this morning following a work-out with new balls on court number one. The 23 year-old beauty was internationally famous for her 30 inch long peroxide hair ex...
Read full story"BBC Licence Fee? Not in my backyard!" claims upper class man who can easily afford it
The BBC charges £145.50 to those that use it's services with funds going towards news coverage, educational content and entertainment, however not everybody is content - Christopher Fulford from Kent says "enough is enough". Mr Fulford,55, who own...
Read full storyAd Claiming 'Ellen Lied', Lied! Ace Investigative Reporter Dick Scrotum Exposes the Lie behind the Lie!
We've all seen the gif--Ellen DeGeneres glancing guiltily over her shoulder again and again while the headline screams: "Cover Girl Drops Ellen! Ellen feels ashamed she lied to her fans for years. See the secret she hid so well! [arrow]." Now Spo...
Read full storySouth African Whites Flood Across U.S. Southern Border Seeking New Apartheid State
Ferguson MO--Thousands of white South Africans described as 'Mandela refugees' are flooding across America's southern borders in search of a new apartheid state. Authorities in Texas, Missouri and Arizona say that they are welcome and will be qui...
Read full storyAfrophysicists Discover Link to Dark Matter
A link to solving the mystery of dark matter which as bedeviled physicists for decades has been solved posthumously it seems by Chuck Brown the acknowledged Godfather of Go-go music in the Washington D.C. area in the mid 1960's. While originally loca...
Read full storyEaster Bunny resigns
The Easter Bunny has resigned on grounds of "inappropriate stereotyping", fearing his association with the Easter holiday is having a serious impact on the health of rabbits around the world. The rabbit community feel more and more undermined by t...
Read full storyThe Jackass Whisperer, Daniel Snyder, now takes center stage
It's time for the worst NFL owner to have his celebrity again. Yes, it's Daniel Snyder's time to shine. Snyder has been the principal owner of the Washington Re*sk*ns pro football team since 1999. This season, Snyder's team went 4-12 - for a wallo...
Read full storyNutcase - "Climate Change Deniers and Nazis Should Unite"
BROKEN URNIAL, GA. -- Randall G. Perry, the best known Holocaust denier today praised climate change deniers. Perry said, "These deniers begin with the premise that climate change is not happening. We Nazis begin with the premise that the Holoc...
Read full storyTony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI -- Announces International "Bring Back Benny" Campaign
London-Former British Prime Minister and converted Catholic Tony Blair called upon the Vatican today to immediately remove "dangerously subversive" Pope Francis I, and reinstate his "politically more realistic" predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI.
Read full storyFit for a King
Ever since archaeologists found the remains of King Richard III underneath a parking lot in Leicester, England, in 2012, they have spent a lot of time confirming his remains, determining what he ate and how he died. It's a real-life "C.S.I.: Leiceste...
Read full storyWorst Ever Tsunami
This time of year is always high on calamities; but nobody on earth was prepared for this one. A mighty tsunami of human excrement that had accumulated in the North Atlantic over many years has been unleashed. Myriad towns and villages in North A...
Read full storyCheesy law regarding football spawns other gridiron lunacy
BAINBRIDGE ISLAND, WA -- Bainbridge Island, Washington, has outlawed cheese. At least, during the upcoming NFC Championship game that pits the Seattle Seahawks against the Green Bay Packers. And it's not only cheese per se that's banned, but al...
Read full storyBritain's 5 most controversial comedians revealed
5. Kelly Potter Kelly Potter was the first woman to ever appear on a british comedy panel show all the way back in 2006 when she made an appearance on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Potter shocked viewers by talking about her private parts - you know like men do, but it's much more offensive because shes a woman, which is far more shocking for some reason. Her style of humour often led to as many as...
Read full storyPaxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen
We've all done it. Go on, admit it. It's not a crime. In a moment of vanity I Googled myself and there it was - 67,000 entries. My name all over the Internet. I was smug. Ha! My literary exploits have made me internationally famous, but then what was that? A website in my name? Bastard. Let's read it. "Paxton Quigley, a well-known author, firearms instructor and author, covers the why...
Read full storyFederer - Losing Was Quite Enjoyable Experience
Roger Federer, the 33-year-old Swiss tennis star went down 6-4 7-6(7-5) 4-6 7-6 (7-5) to Andreas Seppi in the Australian Open this morning, becoming momentarily confused by the strange but enjoyable experience of losing. "Actually, losing gives m...
Read full storyMr Bean Musical axed after less than a month
The Musical based on the BBC television series has been axed after less than a month of performances in the west end. It Must Have Bean Love - The Mr Bean Musical was written by Ben Elton and starred Michael Ball as Mr Bean. The production caused...
Read full storyAl Gore: a man of his times for all time
Al Gore, who is affectionately known as Igor, serviced President Bill Clinton from 1993-2001, sometimes alongside White House interim Monica ("The Mouth") Lewinsky or First Lady Hillary Rodham. Prior to servicing Clinton, Gore invented the Internet; since leaving his position as Vice-President , Gore invented not only Global Warming but Climate Change, earning millions of dollars from the patents...
Read full story'The Onion' and Six Other Fake News Websites to Close--Russell Sprouts Says: 'World Insanity Beyond Our Writers' Imaginations'
Chicago-"The Onion" Managing Editor Russell Sprouts announced today that the well-known fake-news outlet was shutting down immediately. Six other prominent sites said they would also be closing. "We can't keep up any more," said Sprouts, speaking...
Read full storyMan Realizes Area Code Number is the same as his Weight
Los Angeles, CA - It was an exciting day for Ernesto Lopez when he went to his doctor for a routine checkup. After being weighed by one of the nurses, the 32 year old man realized that his weight was the same number as his area code, 310. "...
Read full storyFrench Environmentalists and Politicians Demand Cleaner-Burning Cars
After nearly a thousand cars were torched by French party animals celebrating the New Year, the country's environmentalists and politicians are demanding change. Addressing reporters on the Champs Elysee, environment minister Otto LaFlamme pointed...
Read full storyIBM going the way of the T Rex?
International Business Machinations (IBM) denied reports that it plans to lay off 100,000 of its employees after losses for each of the last 11 successive quarters. "We're in the money," CEO Ginni Romney (no relation, as far as can be determined,...
Read full storyBelichick Bets Infamous "Half-Sleeved Hoodie" on Championship Game
Foxborough, MA - During Friday's post-practice interview, Patriot's head coach, Bill Belichick stated that he would "bet my hoodie that we take home the AFC championship this year." These are strong words from a reserved coach who has coached th...
Read full storyPotter - The Musical, Opening Night in London
Yes, as predicted, the inevitable Harry Potter - The Musical is due to open in Her Majesty's Theatre in London's West End. The opening was scheduled for Christmas Eve but strong intervention from the Tavistock Institute meant it had to be postponed.
Read full storyA low-life scum calls concerned citizens "low-life scum"
WASHINGTON D.C. - When's the insanity going to stop? When is this batshit-crazy old man going to retire? Will his histrionics and induced bedlam never end? The gray-headed, 78-year-old tyrant, the teabagging Republican Senior Senator from Arizona,...
Read full storyNFL Has New Policy Against Cannabis Use
The NFL is now extensively testing players before football games for marijuana usage. This is a recent policy change. National Footbal League Commissioner Roger Goodell gave an explanation. "The problem with Cannabis is that it is a 'peace" induc...
Read full storyMan Mistakes Pot-Tainted Treats for Gummy Bears, Has Good Time
Denver, CO - In a rebellious effort for equal competition and fair pricing, sources found that Jeff Hartley tweeted," Theaters need to stop extorting customers for food if they are going to charge $10.50 for someone to see a crappy movie." It i...
Read full storyRollmop Herrings Becoming Extinct - World Rollmop Herring Fund
The traditional free bar snack, the rollmop herring has been placed on red "extinction danger" alert this morning. The government is appealing to heavy drinkers to help save the nasty British tradition of eating raw fish in vinegar. For a small regul...
Read full storyPM Vows 100% Employment
BBC News has reported today that David Cameron has pledged the Tories will help Britain become "a nation of full employment." He has not stated a specific time frame for these proposals but hopes that they will happen soonish. This announcement a...
Read full story'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP
Nigel Garage, leader of the UKIPs, has launched a new policy offensive to counter the threat posed by a rampant Green Party in the UK. If elected, the UKIPs have confirmed that they will erected a dome over the UK which will ensure that no 'foreig...
Read full storyPope issues weather report: "It's hotter than hell!"
VATICAN CITY -- While admitting that he's "no scientist," Pope Francis is preparing to issue a papal encyclical (not to be confused with a Popsicle or an icicle) concerning global warming "and other celestial matters." An encyclical is a lesson of...
Read full storyNicole Kidman and Tom Cruise to Star Again
The film soon to be released "Blood on a White Rose" is already being forecast to clean up at next year's Oscars. It is a drama with class and style. One critic said, "If it were a painting it would be a Raphael." The film teams up, for one more...
Read full storyA Billion Bucks Not Enough!
American oil billionaire Harold Hamm offered to settle his bitter divorce battle with his ex-wife by having a hand-written cheque for $1.2 billion delivered to her lawyers,... which she refused. In a November ruling last year Mr. Hamm was ordered by...
Read full storyPope Francis's Guide to Happiness
1. "LIVE AND LET LIVE." "The Pope refers to not judging others and letting them continue with their lives in a way that best suits them." Really? Would the Church even exist if it had followed this? Remember the Crusades, the so-called Holy Wars, the pact with Hitler? The forcible conversion of natives? The indoctrination of the faithful through the Catholic school system? The exploit...
Read full storyNew Research Breaks out Alarming Psychographics of Fox News Viewers
Following 40 years of analyzing viewer data, Dr. Moishe Pipick, the man in charge of Demographic and Psychographic Analysis and Research at the prestigious Berne Institute, announced today that his team has never seen such dysfunction isolated to o...
Read full storyEverything You Thought You Already Knew About Life
Life- An annoying thing that happens when you wake up in the morning. Life- The commitment you don't remember having agreed to. Life- 16 hours you have to live through before you can go back to bed again. Life- A pain in the ass that doesn't limit itself to just that area. Life- A journey on a sea of unknown depths. Life- Two third of a day that it takes one third of a night to reco...
Read full storyNFL commissioner reveals email that started inflategate investigation
New York City, NY. - NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, explained today that his investigation into ball pressure was sparked by an email. "I was at the stadium watching the game and dodging calls from Terrell Owens, then I received a mysterious em...
Read full storyParis vows to sue Faux News
According to her agent, Paris Hillton may sue Faux News for referring to her erogenous zones as "no-man's lands." The comments, she whines, are "mean-spirited" and "insulting." She added, "My image has been prejudiced, and my honor has been sul...
Read full storyJust when we thought it was safe to go back in the water
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Students and officials at San Diego State University (SDSU), like the rest of the world (or at least Europe, Canada, and the United States), are learning that it is nature that is wrong, and not transgender persons, in insisting that...
Read full storyBeauty pageant contestant "in it to win it"
In an ill-advised attempt to win the Ms. Californicate Beauty Contest, Chanelle Bigguns whipped off her bikini top, flashing the judges with not one, but (count 'em!) both, of her beautiful, bouncing boobs. She claimed that her tactic was "a wardr...
Read full storyBarack Obama moves to enact fart tax to cut US methane emissions by half
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama will unveil a plan to tax flatulent-producing foods in order to cut methane emissions from Americans during his remaining two years in the White House. The new "fart tax" - which will be formally unveiled on...
Read full storyBillionaires To Form New Political Party
The political network overseen by the conservative billionaires Charles G. and David H. Koch plans to spend close to $900 million on the 2016 campaign. This spending goal was reached at the Koch's annual winter retreat in Palm Springs where assembl...
Read full storyPope hopes to clean up
To show the compassion of the church, Pope Frances ordered Vatican barbers to offer homeless men and women a shave and a haircut for "two bits" (twenty-five cents). The proceeds, the pontiff said, will be added to the church's "coffers," except in th...
Read full storyBlows To The Head Make 9-Year-Old A Man
The NFL runs "Moms Clinics" through an operation called "USA Football." It targets moms who determine which sport their kids will play. It is an effort to show that children's football is safe. But kid football isn't safe. As background, Pop Warn...
Read full storySatan's New Year Address
Last night, Satan's New Year Address 2015, held as usual in rooms beneath the House of Commons England was hugely attended. Present were all the Grand Masters of the leading Masonic Lodges worldwide, Pope Francis, the Royal Family of England, leading...
Read full storyIndianapolis coach's explanation "not convincing," Science Guy says
Bill Nigh, the Science Guy, a die-hard Indianapolis Dolts fan, hypothesizes that the explanation of the New England Playoffs coach, Bill Bellyache, that global warming is the cause of his team's under-inflated balls is "dubious at best." Climate...
Read full storyHairy Reed gives himself a black eye
WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- Former pugilist Senator Hairy Reed (D-NV) gave himself a black eye while shadow boxing in his Washington, DC gym last week. "As Senate Majority Leader Mitch MacConman, Speaker of the House John Boner, and other Republicans k...
Read full storyMisunderstood Practice of Siphoning Air From Footballs To Genitals Gets Patriots Into Trouble
The New England Patriots have been wrongfully accused of trying to cheat the team reports. In what has ridiculously been dubbed "Deflate gate" the team has been accused of deflating the footballs after referee inspections to make them easier to...
Read full storyUniversity officials launch political background equality programme
WATERFALLS, LAND OF THE MORNING (Bunbunmaru Newspaper) -- In line with the upcoming student council elections, the Kamishirasawa Falls University's Office of Student Affairs launched a programme that promotes equality of all students regardless of th...
Read full storyFox News Insults "Muslim" Birmingham
Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, has again apologised to the city of Birmingham, UK. Having previously apologised for the factually inaccurate statement that Birmingham was a "Muslim-only city", Emerson has today issued a statement apologising t...
Read full storyTwo Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation
The following is based on an actual conversation between two 10 year-old Irish kids on the problems posed by the difficult theory of reincarnation. Charles' dad is into Buddhism, Phil's parents are Catholics. They both attend the same school....a Catholic school. Phil: Why do we have to die? Charles: So's we can come back. Phil: Back here? What for? Charles: So that we can become gooder...
Read full storyWallgreens: "We're more than a pharmacy; we're your neighborhood hospital!"
Wallgreens has always wanted to be your pharmacy. Now, the drug store chain apparently wants to be your doctor, too. Not only does it operate a Mini Klinik in each of its locations, but the company also decides whether or not to fill its customers' p...
Read full storySNOWMAGEDDON 2015 Fizzles... New York City Shuts Down Anyway...
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK - A MONSTER storm packing blizzard conditions spun by the elite East Coast media failed to live up to the hype, but New York City shut down anyway to allow government workers to take an additional day off with pay. Many cit...
Read full storyAmerican Sniper Casual Hunting Outfit With Modified SEAL Enemy Dispatch Kit
BILLINGSGATE POST: Can you imagine how many more mortal dispatches the legendary American Sniper would have made if only he had been outfitted with an authentic Dr. Billingsgate Modified SEAL Enemy Dispatch Kit? With its night vision goggles, the Wo...
Read full storyJohnny Depp: Forgotten American Accent
Hollywood, CA - After being asked why he no longer does any films where he portrays an American, the Kentucky native replied that he "has forgotten how to speak with an American accent." After the success of the box-office juggernaut film serie...
Read full storyGreen Bay Packers Are Communists Says Congressman
The Green Bay Packers are arguably the most successful franchise in American professional sports history. They just missed this year from going to the superbowel. But the most remarkable thing about the Green Bay Packers is that as an industry th...
Read full storyDamien Hirst's "Ephemeral Sculpture Store" Opens in London
Famous British artist Damien Hirst, said to be the world's wealthiest artist, has opened a small store in Soho London that was once a Chinese restaurant. He calls it his "Ephemeral Sculpture Store". It is the size of a small supermarket with all y...
Read full storyTed Cruz Announces: 'Jesus Charlie is me!'--Opposes 'Obamacare for Education'
Washington--Republican firebrand Ted Cruz said today that "like those guys on TV," he too was "Jesus Charlie." He went on to denounce President Obama's recent proposal giving workers two free years of community college as "Obamacare for education."...
Read full storyAnd Here Are The News Headlines
"Ebola could yet spread to the West", warns Sierra Leone doctor. 8,000 dead so far in that region. Israel is on the brink of an all-out war with Lebanon's Hezbollah that may drag other regions in the Middle East into the conflict. North Korea t...
Read full storyISIS and Obummer agree: Israel's Nuttyyahoo "paranoid"
President Bareass Obummer is "hotter than a steaming pile of sh*t," according to Beltway insiders. "He's absolutely fuming!" What has the presidential bowels in such an uproar? Speaker of the House John Boner had the "audacity" to invite Israel...
Read full storyGod Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'
Heavensgate - Every morning just after sunrise, says Christopher Hitchins, he and the entire heavenly host gather with their harps and neatly folded wings at the edge of a convenient cloud. Then as they drink their coffee and enjoy the air, they laug...
Read full storyTed Cruz Will Sponsor Space Program to reach God
Texas Senator Ted Cruz was appointed the chair of the Senate subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness last week - which means he will be in charge of overseeing space agency NASA in Congress. He announced; "As the new head of The Commit...
Read full storyPresident Obama Sending Glozell Green to Conduct Nuclear Talks With Iran
PENTAGON - Following his interview with YouTube sensation Glozell Green, President Obama was so impressed with the human bundle of energy that he announced she will be replacing the worthless and lame Secretary of State, John Kerry, in ongoing nu...
Read full storyPlethysmographic Research says Conservatives are Sexually Repressed and Brain Damaged
Dr Moishe Pipick head of The Worldwide Center for Sexual Research at Berne University in Berne Switzerland stated today: "Our latest analysis of the causes of regressive behavior seen mostly in Christian Conservatives clearly shows that sexual re...
Read full storyFox News Sponsors "Take Back America Awards Show" Hosted by Dick Cheney
NEW YORK - Fox News announced today it will be sponsoring and broadcasting a new entertainment awards show on Sunday, February 22. Dick Cheney is the host, Donald Trump is the show's producer and Ted Nugent is the musical guest. Fox bills the sho...
Read full storyDrone Arms Itself, Finally Makes Golden Globes Award Show Watchable
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - The 72nd annual Golden Globes awards ceremony had some fireworks tonight for a change. For the first time in the show's history, a drone was employed to get some unique camera angles for the audience around the world. Then the fun...
Read full storyGreens Respond To Cameron's TV Debate Threat
Green Party leader, Maisie Daisy, has responded to Prime Minister David Cameron's threat not to take part in televised election debates if the Greens are not also present. "We have considered the Prime Minister's statement very carefully and, foll...
Read full storyZombie Apocalypse last 3 minutes
Washington, D.C.- Following an alarming number of calls to the CDC, FBI, and NSA, security analyst have concluded that the zombie apocalypse came and went without any causalities and $0 in property damage. Current Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hage...
Read full storyISIS the Musical Bombs at Box Office
In an attempt to soften the image of the infamous terror group, ISIS has formed a theatre group.They refer to themselves as "The Musical Jihadists" and wish to prove to the world at large that they truly are lovers of the arts and theatre and that th...
Read full storyCarpentry - Jesus Impressed By Modern Technology
A man looking uncannily like a medieval representation of Jesus Christ and wearing what was later proved to be a bootleg copy of the Turin Shroud rushed on stage at the Scunthorpe annual carpentry conference yesterday. The man took over control o...
Read full storyFor Traumworks' "Krazy Kat" Katzenberg, life is but a dream
HURRAY FOR HOLLYWOOD! -- For some 500 former employees, Traumworks is no longer a dream workplace. In fact, for the terminated workers, it's not even a dream job anymore. The animation studio was once the darling of Tinsel Town, but, due to a stri...
Read full storyHouse cat eats entire Christmas tree and lives
Seattle, Washington. The Allen family Christmas will never be quite the same…since Abby the Tabby ate their vintage artificial Christmas tree…ALL of it. Really you say? How is that even possible? It was to be a dream vacation… two weeks in Hawaii...
Read full storyBlunts and 40s party kicks off MLK, Jr. Day celebration
Spark that blunt, pass the Milwaukee's, and certainly don't pay that child support. It's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, everybody! Which means it's time to extol everything and all things black. No wonder no one goes to work or school on MLK Day! So fill your morning today with a tri-marathon of the Friday movies, maybe hit Church's for lunch, and make overtures towards the next fine as...
Read full storyBuilding a Snowman... the Road to Damnation
When snow covered Tabuk Province near Saudi Arabia's border with Jordan for the third consecutive year Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid sprang immediately into action: "It is not permitted to make a statue out of snow, even by way of play and fun,"...
Read full story"Pig Castrator" Attacked By Bill Mahr
The typical Republican response as to how they stand on climate change is to say, "I'm not a scientist." It is for example, the position of Most GOP House members like Jonie "pig castrator" Earnst who has said "I've not seen proven proof." She gave...
Read full storyModern Family voted Greatest Television Program of All Time by everybody alive in the entire world
Modern Family is now the only television program ever made to receive the title "Greatest Television Program of All Time" and was voted for by everybody alive today and the award will be presented to the show at the 2015 Golden Globe awards which wil...
Read full story2,000 Injured In Bradford Stampede As Taxi Driver Shouts "Taxi for Abu"
A "rookie" taxi driver, who pulled up in the centre of Bradford last night at 11.30 and shouted, "Is there an Abu here?" has been suspended after 2,000 Abus were taken to Bradford Hospital A&E unit with crush injuries. First names, tradition...
Read full storyChristlam - The New World Religion Unveiled
Following his visit to the Holy Land in May last year when he prayed at the Wailing Wall and celebrated mass in the Cenacle, (the hall on Jerusalem's Mount Zion), Pope Francis called a meeting of the world's religious leaders to his rooms at the Vati...
Read full storyDewsbury Traffic To Drive Down Same Side Of Road As Mumbai
After twinning the Yorkshire city of Dewsbury with Mumbai in India, the council have declared that cars, rickshaw buses, rickshaw motor cycles and taxis will now have to drive in a "free for all" chaotic system down the centre of the road since the M...
Read full storyMafia Style Aggressive Sofa Marketing Announced
No more "Mr. Nice Guy" sofa sales methods will be used from New Year 2015, as the Mafia is set to move in with sales offers people will not be able to refuse. From next week horses heads will placed in bed with reluctant punters who do not comply w...
Read full storyCool Sounding "Planet X" draws attention away other more worthwhile celestial bodies
Theoretical planet, Planet X is again making headlines despite the fact that there are curious discoveries on other real, existing planetary bodies. Planet X, also known as Nibiru (another cool sounding alias), is an undiscovered enormous planet...
Read full storyActress Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Her Lady Parts Unusual Spa Treatment
HOLLYWEIRD, CA - Always wanting to be on the cutting edge of society, actress Gwyneth Paltrow has taken "getting your carpet steam cleaned" to a new level. The 42 year-old actress now says she goes to a Hollywood spa and receives steam treatments...
Read full storyLostprophets singer Ian Watkins said to be furious over being confused with Steps singer of the same name over photo being used in parking ticket controversy article
Disgraced rock star Ian Watkins is said by prison staff to be furious over being confused with the Steps singer Ian "H" Watkins over unpaid parking fees. An article on B! online mistakenly used a photograph of the disgraced pedophile rock star ins...
Read full storyKatie Hopkins Opens UK's First Ever Boot Camp for Trolls
Voice of the people Katie Hopkins has unveiled her latest business venture, a month long boot camp for wannabe trolls. The progress of the bootcamp is to be covered by Channel 6 and will see Hopkins put the wannabe haters through four weeks of th...
Read full storyBiblical Archeologist Claims "It's Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve"!
LEXINGTON, KY-A Biblical Archeologist from Transylvania University in Lexington, KY, now claims that the bumper sticker adorning cars and trucks all over the South are wrong. The bumper stickers, claims Dr. Leslie Elohim of the Classics Dept. at Tra...
Read full storyLights! Camera! Action! Amazon enters the movie business: now, THAT's entertainment!
Look out, Tinsel Town! Tired of being an entertainment middleman, Amazon.com has announced that it's going into the film-making business. "We're producing a movie a month," Amazon Studios Vice-President in Charge of Vice, Leroy Price, crowed. T...
Read full storyNew Laws for France. The NWO Marches On. Who's Next?
Following the Hebdo massacre new Private Law (criminal law) legislation is expected to be introduced in the French Parliament. Following the 'executive laws' adopted by Obama, Prime Minister Manuel Valls who was appointed by President Francois Ho...
Read full storyJapanese Woman Gives Birth to Giant squid
Shinsuji Takamashaya gave birth to a twenty pound Giant Squid on the tiny Japanese atoll of Fonguyutu" - said Doctor Myashkenazi, an internist and genetic biologist with Japan's National Institute of Eco and Womb Research. He said, "Thu Human squ...
Read full storyT.V. Networks Curb Advertising Of Extremely Comfortable Sofas
Sofa manufacturers have said in an open letter this morning that they understand the need to protect the elderly and vulnerable from the temptation to buy "after New Year" sofas. Sofa chains, DFI, Q&B, Gladbrook and Bentley and Sharidans have...
Read full storyVape Rape provides consumers vaping with atomic punch
A new vaping company has come on the market that provides its users with atomic-borne, fracking-waste emissions instead of the water vapor used by traditional vaping horns. Vape Rape LLC, headquartered outside Wheeling, W.Va. on a rezoned piece o...
Read full storyMan Accused of Traveling Through Time to Ensure that Legal System Remains an Unending Quagmire
Hill Valley resident Biff Tannen was accused of attempting to aid his wayward grandson Griff Tannen avoid jail time by disrupting the space time continuum. The plot revolved around using time travel to prevent the streamlining of the legal system wh...
Read full storyKaty Perry Spent A Lot Of Time Contemplating Just What Her Super Bowl Act Would Be
Katy Perry spent a lot of time considering what she would do for the Super Bowl. "Maybe I should do a French Kiss with another superstar like Brittany Spears and Madonna did. I wonder if Taylor Swift would be available for that? Or should I do an underwear-less limo exit like Brittany did that one time? That got a lot of coverage." A lot of money and concern is spent by performers and by the NF...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Cargo Ship Carrying News Runs Aground
A cargo ship carrying news of the outside world for the last six months was deliberately grounded off the Isle of Wight Saturday evening after it began to list. Captain Sigge Olafson of the Hoege Osaka said he ordered crew members to jettison new...
Read full storyGerman giants bash Tesco!
Tesco, one of Britain's top four supermarkets are being forced to close 43 of their stores while German giants, Lidl and Aldi, have decided to "Blitzkrieg" the UK by opening many more of their cheap stores. The Germans attitude is; if you can beat...
Read full storyGod Cancels Doomsday!
For the second time in as many millenniums the good Lord has put the kibosh on Doomsday. Said Lord God, "Full scale death shall be dealt not now nor anytime in the next 1000 years." Specialty TV programmers are aghast. "This is not good news,...
Read full storyTheres no business like dough business!
Hollywood is all agog today with the news that Sly Stallone is considering making Expendables 8 in little 'ole Eng-er-land, or to be more precise, West Yorkshireland. Ironically, the unusual location came about due to Sly being offered a heap of b...
Read full storyNFL Meeting to Develop 2015-16 Season Controversies
Like all businesses, publicity is an important part of the NFL. So important that the NFL is holding a mandatory owners meeting on Monday after the Superbowl to discuss publicity for 2015. "2014 was such a great year with Ray Rice, a gay player,...
Read full storySatirist In Deep Doo-Doo Over Disney Star Wars Movie Hacking
Many top news satirists have suddenly found themselves in over their heads in a lawsuit filed by the behemoth Disney Corporation. It seems that many satirists, including yours truly, last month published an article exposing the top secret plot outli...
Read full storyContaminated River Water Used for Perfume - One Company's Fumes are Another Company's Fragrance
On January 9, 2014, residents of Charleston, West Virginia woke to the sweet smell of licorice in the air. The sweetness quickly turned sour when they discovered that the odor was the result of a chemical spill from the Freedom Industries facility...
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