Pope Francis's Guide to Happiness

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Friday, 30 January 2015

image for Pope Francis's Guide to Happiness
The Kingdom of Heaven... on Earth.

1. "LIVE AND LET LIVE."

"The Pope refers to not judging others and letting them continue with their lives in a way that best suits them."

Really?

Would the Church even exist if it had followed this?

Remember the Crusades, the so-called Holy Wars, the pact with Hitler? The forcible conversion of natives? The indoctrination of the faithful through the Catholic school system? The exploitation of the poor over the centuries? The Inquisitions?

2. "GIVE YOURSELF TO OTHERS."

"If you withdraw into yourself, you run the risk of becoming egocentric. And stagnant water becomes putrid."

Really?

So hookers are saints after all? There's news for Aids victims.

Will Francis shut down all his seminaries, monasteries and convents on this principle?

"The Kingdom of God is within you." (Jesus).

3. "PROCEED CALMLY IN LIFE."

".... to have "the ability to move with kindness and humility, a calmness in life."

Really?

Who is not stressed by the struggle to survive? How many these days can do it without the drug industry that your financiers are heavily involved in?

"Blessed are those who mourn and hunger for justice for they shall be filled." (Jesus).

"It is as difficult for the rich man to get into heaven as it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle." (Jesus).

4. "WORK FOR PEACE."

"We are living in a time of many wars, and the call for peace must be shouted".

Really?

The Vatican Bank is the main shareholder in the Pietro Beretta Arms Factory Ltd, the largest arms industry in the world. They have vast holdings in many other nefarious industries including Rolls Royce and are the biggest, illegal drug traders in the world.

5. "PEOPLE NEED A HEALTHY SENSE OF LEISURE."

"Consumerism has brought us anxiety and stress, causing people to lose a healthy culture of leisure.

Really?

870 million people worldwide do not have enough food to eat. 1 billion children worldwide are living in poverty. According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day due to hunger. Nearly 1/2 of the world's population - more than 3 billion people - live on less than $2.50 a day. More than 1.3 billion live in extreme poverty, that's less than $1.25 a day.

What they lack clearly is a "healthy culture of leisure"... once they give up wanting to eat.

Has consumerism nothing at all to do with The Catholic Church and its tourism industry? Is there a Catholic church anywhere that is not in the business of selling stuff or collecting donations?

"... the Vatican sold 30 licenses for souvenirs and religious items with the official Jubilee logo, ranging from a $17,500 platinum watch sold at branches of Banca Intesa, an official sponsor (and the successor to the ill-fated Banca Ambrosiano), to commemorative rosaries, T-shirts, coins, watches, pens, bottle-openers and ashtrays." (NY Times).

6." FIND INNOVATIVE WAYS TO CREATE DIGNIFIED JOBS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE."

"It's not enough to give them food," he said. "Dignity is given to you when you can bring food home from one's own labor."

Really?

The Roman Catholic Church is the richest of the rich, the wealthiest institution on earth and the biggest land owner. Its wealth has been accumulated over the centuries from gullible benefactors, pillaging, dying penitents, fearful potentates, wealth collection depots called monasteries, alms, taxes, pilgrimages (tourism) and currently, global investments. Bringing home food "from one's own labour" is not what the Vatican is about, or ever was, but accumulating wealth and power on the back of everyone else's. It works on the principle that the world and all it contains has been passed down through St. Peter via Constantine to them. End of story. Anybody or any country that thinks it owns anything is therefore deluded. We all exist courtesy of the Vatican and its Jesuit think-tank. That's because the Church is all heart and is called "Mother Church" in case you missed the point. And is desperate for that reason that you all may share, one of these days, if you are good enough... in a "culture of leisure".

7. STOP BEING NEGATIVE.

"Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. That means, 'I feel so low that instead of picking myself up I have to cut others down.'"

Really?

"Negative thinking" afflicts many millions of Catholics who believe in hell and are afraid of being sent there... forever. They adhere to the Church in the hope it can help them escape it.

Now, where did they get that from?

Who also said: "Catholics must not feel they have to breed like rabbits?"

Or

"I'll punch anyone who insults my mother."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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