Paxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen

Funny story written by Paxton Quigley

Sunday, 25 January 2015

image for Paxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen
Kiss my arse, Ms. Quigley

We've all done it. Go on, admit it. It's not a crime. In a moment of vanity I Googled myself and there it was - 67,000 entries. My name all over the Internet. I was smug. Ha! My literary exploits have made me internationally famous, but then what was that? A website in my name? Bastard. Let's read it.

"Paxton Quigley, a well-known author, firearms instructor and author, covers the why, when, how and what of firearms for women…" Hmmm...a bit repetitive.

"Quigley is a guru for the women's movement and weapons. She looks a little like she was coming from the TV series Dallas: blonde, perfect hair-do, perfect smile, she does not tell her age."

WTF? "Firearms instructor"? "She"? What the hell is going on? Now, I don't mind that Hollywood made a soft porn film about my real life sexual exploits at the University of Balham in the 1970s, when I was locked in an attic and almost shagged to death by three lusty women, in fact I was quite proud about it, but taking my name in vain for the gun lobby? That takes the proverbial biscuit.

I'll see you in court, "Ms. Quigley", if I can find you.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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