Written by Leo Montford

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Modern Family is now the only television program ever made to receive the title "Greatest Television Program of All Time" and was voted for by everybody alive today and the award will be presented to the show at the 2015 Golden Globe awards which will be hosted by Ellen Degeneres…probably.

Creator Christopher Lloyd commented on this landmark achievement by ominously saying "Yes…it's working. It's all coming together now and there's nothing anybody can do about it! You hear me NOTHING!"

The awards show will likely feature completely non-sycophantic talking-heads explaining how the show is the greatest thing ever and will probably feature a semi-nude Sofia Vergara performing a striptease on a rotating podium.

Despite this remarkable accolade not everybody in the history of the world is a fan of the show. Scott Vick from Charlotte, North Carolina claimed that the show was "Trite and seemed to unfairly portray homosexual characters as crass stereotypes and Hispanic characters as ditzy and uneducated" he also made the irrational claim that "I just don't find the show funny at all, I'm sorry, but that's just the way I feel" Mr Vick has since then disappeared of the face of the earth and his whereabouts is unknown and family members and friends have completely forgotten that he even existed. Sadie Tudor from Kent, England also made unfavorable claims about the show when she took a boxset of the show to a second hand goods store to exchange the item. She was recorded to have said it was "a bit crappy" however on the 28 March 2014 she was killed in a tragic road accident which was described by investigators as "definitely not a conspiracy".

ABC have now commissioned 120 more seasons of the show and it is being rumored that it may continue until the end of time. Scientists are currently working on creating a device which will allow the actors who portray the characters to stop ageing and live forever. The writers however will not be receiving this treatment as the show's writing credits clearly show that they are entirely disposable.

The filming of the next season of Modern Family is currently underway.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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